InBrightestDay

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InBrightestDay last won the day on July 4

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  1. InBrightestDay

    InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread

    So, now for my reply! Revealing my own literary ignorance, I’ve never actually read Of Mice and Men. I do really need to get around to that at some point. My personal recommendation would be for After Party to come first. I think the tension in the first part of After Party at least partly comes from not knowing who or what Yua is, and the spoiler might lessen that early fear. Parlor Games, I think, works perfectly after being spoiled, just in a different way. Knowing who Cody and Yua are, in my opinion, makes for a kind of anticipation when the brothers show up at the house, with the audience knowing fully just how screwed these people are, and it might even make some lines (Yua’s “I wasn’t expecting to have a meal delivered”) considerably funnier. That was all @JayDee. I mentioned I felt kind of bad for Todd after Yua sent him running, and JayDee came up with this epilogue showing how Cody helps him get to safety. Completely agreed on Auntie Pearl, who’s a wonderfully colorful character. They’ve probably done some stuff on the couch before, so it would have been possible for Chad and Ricky to look in the window and find them making out or engaged in foreplay (I figure they’d probably move to the bed, or Yua would haul him up into the web, before things went too far). As for teaming up with JayDee to do something erotic, I did have an idea recently. Not sure if I should do it, but it would be set after WitS (I know; I’ll be working on that tonight ), as well as its immediate sequel New Year’s Visitation, and it would involve revisiting an old joke JayDee and I shared one time, only maybe a little bit more serious this time around… At any rate, thank you so much for the review!
  2. You guys ever find yourselves shipping a pairing you know you shouldn’t?  Like maybe the relationship isn’t exactly healthy, or one of the characters is a hero and the other is the villain, or something like that, but you still kind of like seeing them together?

    1. Show previous comments  15 more
    2. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      She also covered an entire continent in a blizzard that allowed her to instantly kill anyone she wanted in its confines by snapping her fingers. She created a army over a couple days, Can freeze time once a day.

      Might makes right kinda lady.

       

    3. InBrightestDay

      InBrightestDay

      Quote

      She also covered an entire continent in a blizzard that allowed her to instantly kill anyone she wanted in its confines by snapping her fingers. She created a army over a couple days, Can freeze time once a day.

      Very true.  That stuff’s from the manga, where she’s a somewhat different character (more pure evil, as I understand it).  Granted, I wish we’d gotten that massive action sequence at the end where they apparently throw an entire army at her just to distract her and give Akame an opening, but ultimately I kind of prefer the anime version of the character, if not the action climax.

      Evil with a softer side, one that’s actually real, is something I don’t see that often.

    4. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      I’m excited if you do decide to write it.

  3. InBrightestDay

    lets have a little fun with the COVID-19!

    The problem is that none of my other characters can really do this prompt. Lady Aldreda and her squire Elis exist in a medieval fantasy setting, and The Woman in the Statue is set in 2082, so that’s not really an option either. I suppose I could do a Cindy and Ryan semi-romantic smut story where Ryan helps Cindy relax after a very stressful day at the hospital, but you know, that might gross some people out, given their relationship. Edit: What I meant by that was that Cindy is Ryan’s big sister. They’re that...special kind of brother and sister.
  4. As of 1 hour 18 minutes ago, I am officially 34 years old.

    Time for the annual bout of freaking out about all the things I haven’t done in my life!

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      Quote

      It’s never too early to start your mid-life crisis project. If you aren’t doing so already, perhaps you might consider a novel?

      Wait, we can write a novel for a mid-life crisis? Why didn’t anyone tell me? I went for a belly ring instead… 

    3. JayDee

      JayDee

      @GeorgeGlass It’ll have to wait ‘til next year now. Unless I go for the very merry un-birthday song and surely that one is still under copyright (the song being from the ‘51 cartoon rather than the book!)

    4. Sinfulwolf

      Sinfulwolf

      Congrats on another journey around the sun. 

  5. I’m about to start writing the final battle between Luzurial and Eparlegna, which comes in roughly two phases.  Let me remind you, that hasn’t been written yet.

    Combined word count of chapter and epilogue as of now: 13,115

    I will in no way be surprised if I hit 20,000 by the time I’m done.  I would just like to apologize to everyone in advance.

    For the curious, the previous longest chapter of the story was Chapter 7, at 13,043 words.

    1. InvidiaRed
    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      A long road to walk and over a decade of thought but the ending comes. I look forward to seeing it!

    3. Sinfulwolf

      Sinfulwolf

      I’m excited!

  6. InBrightestDay

    InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread

    Well, alrighty then! Japanese is an interesting language, specifically in its written form. Different characters (kanji) can be pronounced the same, due to the limited number of sounds the human vocal apparatus can make, but mean very different things. The word “jorōgumo” is thus written in two different ways. The first way, 女郎蜘蛛, translates as “whore spider”. Given that they are succubus-like spider monsters, it’s accurate enough, but a bit on the nose if you ask me. The second way, 絡新婦, translates as something like “binding bride.” In fact, the second way of writing it is actually where I got the name for the character. Yua is a Japanese feminine name that comes from 結 (yu) meaning “to tie/bind” and 愛 (a) meaning “love/affection”. Her last name, Hayashi, is written as 林 and means “forest”. I’ve thought about it, but have yet to employ the fire-breathing spiders in any of the stories; maybe later in something with more action. Basically, all of those spiders that congregate in her vicinity, drawn to her natural magic? Those aren’t just for show; she can control them, and in The Spider House I have a particularly nasty scene where she uses them Willard style. While it’s true that I did write a lot (though not all) of what happens inside the house from scratch, that was only because that was where JayDee’s excerpt ended. I mentioned this in the author’s note, but JayDee sent me this as a snippet with the K-Team, but they weren’t sure it fit those characters. I suggested that maybe that was because the K-Team usually deals with explicitly magical stuff, so bad people weren’t really up their alley. I then had the thought of using Cody and Yua, re-wrote the snippet to use that and sent it back to JayDee, who really liked it. In the piece they sent me, “teats” was Shannon, and when Ricky does the pizza box thing, it was Kate at the door and Kizzy who told her to bring their visitors in. After that, Kate took Ricky and Chad down to the basement (where she would go full wolf and eat them) while Kizzy and (I think) Shannon were going to keep Todd company in the living room and make sure he wasn’t hurt. JayDee’s excerpt also had a bit where Kate was eager to go down to the basement with the two guys, and they figured she had some home invasion fantasies that were way off. It felt like a natural fit for Yua as well, so I was absolutely going to keep that. I had to invent the new stuff with Yua in her true form snagging Chad and hauling him up into the web. However, this is where we come back to JayDee, because... When I did the re-write, it ended on more of a horror note, with Yua looming threateningly over Todd, giving him that creepy smile and saying “Run home, little boy,” and him bolting out into the woods in terror. I confessed, however, that I did feel kind of bad for him, since I wasn’t sure if he could find his way to someone who would help him. JayDee then wrote that entire epilogue, inventing Auntie Pearl in the process, who turned out to be a super fun character who could definitely have her own story.
  7. InBrightestDay

    "...or just plain review-whore!"

    I did indeed get one. I’m sorry you didn’t; I had hoped that co-authors would get notifications too.
  8. InBrightestDay

    "...or just plain review-whore!"

    I think the reason @JayDee was talking about Parlor Games is that they co-wrote it, as opposed to Social Distancing, which was all me. Of course, now that that’s happened, JayDee, whose review response thread do you want this to be on?
  9. InBrightestDay

    InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread

    Or he takes a disliking to her diet. Then again, given his job, he might not object to that. That could be pretty funny. An interesting thought; makes me wonder exactly what the connection is. And now we have a second review, courtesy of @JayDee. Thank you! This sort of emerged from something in After Party, where Cody feels safer as soon as he enters Yua’s area of the forest. I liked the idea that since jorōgumo are nature spirits of a sort, that the animals might be able to sense her innate magic and react to that. The spiders react by converging on the area, and the bear reacts to Yua the same way a coyote would react to the bear, backing down from a more dangerous predator. Brushing the leaf out of Cody’s hair was actually a late addition. I realized that while we’d seen Yua in her true form in Parlor Games, we’d never really seen her interact with Cody in that form, so I wanted to do a little of the affectionate stuff she does in her human or in-between forms here in her giant spider form. I think it’s kind of messing Cody up for a few reasons. Part of it is that it’s recently become emblematic of her being, in his mind, overprotective, but the other part is that Yua refers to Cody as her pet human as part of the roleplay they engage in during their bondage games. There’s an emotional association there, to being powerless in an arousing way, and it’s kind of messing with his head to have this getting tied to being powerless in a frustrating way. Still, he doesn’t mean to hurt Yua any more than she means to hurt him. *Listens* You know, you probably could play that pretty well on the shamisen… The two instruments I mentioned Yua being highly skilled with are generally associated with this particular type of yōkai. The biwa is what jorōgumo are described as playing in the stories I could find, but for whatever reason, they’re frequently depicted in art with a shamisen. I went with the shamisen here first because the biwa will be featured in The Spider House, and second as a reference to Kubo and the Two Strings. For those who haven’t seen the movie, the main character, Kubo, plays a shamisen (it’s how he works his magic), and the end credits feature a cover of “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” that features shamisen as well as some other Japanese instruments. As I said in the author’s note, I don’t know if this is canonical, but I did nonetheless want it to be canon compliant, so I wrote it taking into account the conversation Yua and Cody had at the end of After Party, so she still gets jealous, but there isn’t a risk of her eating other women anymore. Well, not as much of one, anyway. So for those who don’t know, while I didn’t do this intentionally, I did realize while coming up with the story of The Spider House that it rather resembled the story of Let the Right One In (or the American remake Let Me In), albeit TSH is a shorter, simpler story. I decided to reference that with the reading scene, and I liked the idea of what Cody is trying to get across to Yua there; how he sees the story. LtROI is both a horror story and a love story, but Cody is focused on the fact that it’s about a boy who falls in love with a monster, and the monster loves him back.
  10. InBrightestDay

    InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread

    Social Distancing is a story written for @kagome26isawsome’s prompt concerning COVID-19. Basically, she proposed that some of us write stories about how our characters would be dealing with the pandemic. Since Elis and Lady Aldreda live in a medieval fantasy world and The Woman in the Statue is set in the future, that left Yua and Cody. Since jorōgumo like Yua can’t get sick (at least in my version of things; it’s possible yōkai may fall ill in myths I haven’t read), the only one at risk would be her human mate, Cody. Now, at first, I was going to make this a fun/hot story where Yua shows the boy exactly how much fun it can be to be trapped inside the house with a woman who’s got seduction down to an art and has 683 years of experience...but then things changed. I can’t explain exactly why, but it started getting more serious, focusing on what it means to be an immortal in a relationship with a human. And thus we come to our first review from @InvidiaRed! Yeah, the idea was that she isn’t smotheringly possessive all the time, but that the disease has made her even more protective of Cody than she normally is. I do enjoy writing Yua because of the inhuman aspect of the character. Luzurial is inhuman, but only in the technical sense, since her morality is essentially the same as ours. Yua is a giant spider that can look like a beautiful woman when she wants to, and as such her perspective is very different. I swear I wasn’t stealing your dialogue from the future! No, in all seriousness, the characters are different (a jorōgumo and a death god) but they share in that same bittersweet experience of loving someone you know you’ll outlive. That line of dialogue in particular is one I’ll be using in The Spider House, which is to be the formal introduction of Yua and Cody and how they became a couple. It’s what I’ll be working on after I finish the last chapter of WitS. Thank you!
  11. InBrightestDay

    lets have a little fun with the COVID-19!

    Alright @InvidiaRed, @JayDee and @kagome26isawsome, I’ve finally posted my story! It took way longer than a 2,700 word story should have (sorry about that) but it is up. Social Distancing
  12. You kidding me? It’s always an honor to work in this shared universe (the Angelverse?) with you! I also figured that the events of MRaD came just before WoH, given that the fics were posted so close together. It was what inspired me to include Michael in WitS to begin with, actually. It didn’t. As the National Guard (including the LTV Private Flynn was in) advanced into the area within Eparlegna’s barrier, they were swarmed by id constructs. They dropped several waves with automatic fire, and were holding well, but that was when the Screamer attacked. An avian horror forged of Wrath, the Screamer resembled a giant vulture, its black wings spreading twelve meters across, hooked thumb talons sprouting from feathered flesh, its beaked jaws bristling with tooth-like projections of sharp bone. Its name came from the weapon it employed as it attacked, swooping low over the soldiers and releasing a piercing , deafening shriek, a focused beam of sound that shattered glass, rattled the metal frames of the vehicles and stunned humans in its path, leaving them easy prey for other monsters. After its second pass, the Screamer landed in the middle of the National Guard formation, knocking stunned soldiers away with the hammer blows of its beating wings. Moving on its feet and wings like a bat, it moved to the LTV and tore the driver’s side door off, dragging the screaming redhead out. The Wrath construct made to seize her in its beak, to rend her flesh and scatter blood and viscera across the battlefield, its snakelike neck drawing back and striking, jaws spread wide...only for the Archangel Luzurial to step in front of it and catch its jaws, holding them open as it tried to bite. Private Flynn scrambled back, and the beast tried to scream, but Luzurial slammed its head into the asphalt, blunting the sonic attack. One of its wings reached for her, the thumb talon meant to slash at her, but she kicked it aside. Still, she could not reach the machete she carried and slay the beast, forced as she was to hold its head with both hands. Of course, she didn’t have to. About ten meters away, Colin Gibbs had managed to rest his Gungnir on some wreckage while the rest of Chloe’s team fought off other id constructs. Luzurial held the Screamer in place, and he fired a single shot, the hypersonic projectile piercing one of the monster’s eyes and erupting from the other side of its head in a gory explosion. Or, you know, something like that. I didn’t just make that up, by the way. What you just saw was a deleted scene from The Woman in the Statue, which would have followed the bit where battle is joined. I cut it because I realized that the important part of that scene was Luzurial’s big decision to trust humanity and not try to generate any incarnate virtues. It would have been more detailed had I actually written it into the story, but I figured I’d explain it here anyway. Moving on! Okay, so… You just almost made me spit my drink all over my computer while laughing. I may have to include this in New Year’s Visitation now. No problem. I always like seeing your work.
  13. InBrightestDay

    lets have a little fun with the COVID-19!

    I promise to have all of your stories reviewed by the end of the day! Mine is fighting me. I wanted to make a funny/sexy story where Cody learns that being trapped in the house with Yua for months might not be so bad, but then the idea turned a little more melancholy and leaned more toward Yua’s fear about being an immortal creature in a relationship with a human who’s vulnerable to disease. I think sexy might be off the table (sex scenes take a long time for me to write anyway, and you guys are getting these out fast), but maybe I can make it sweet instead.
  14. InBrightestDay

    lets have a little fun with the COVID-19!

    I am absurdly jealous of how fast @InvidiaRed can write. It’s going to take me longer before Social Distancing, my Yua/Cody story, is going up. In the meantime, for those who don’t want to dig through his profile to find it, Invidia’s story is here.
  15. InBrightestDay

    InvidiaRed's review responses

    I did get a hint of that, but wasn’t sure if I was reading too much into it. Ah, sorry for the mistake there. If I’d played Dark Souls, it probably would have been a lot more obvious. So does that mean there’s a spider girl in there that everyone feels really sad for? I may not have played the game, but the Fair Lady (and the way players feel for her) is something I’ve definitely heard about. I mean, maybe a little, especially since he was reacting to...you know...grass. Anyway, we’ll find out more about him next time, I presume!