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Sinfulwolf

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Everything posted by Sinfulwolf

  1. A review on “Closing Time” by @InBrightestDay I certainly had fun with it, and developing the backstory in my mind. I had actually thought about having the fight done in the Halloween short before settling on the fantasy stuff that I did. I’m glad you found it kind of funny, cause reading it again I find it a bit awkward. I really was struggling with that part to put it out without sounding overly clumsy. At least there’s some humour for it. Yep, typo. Supposed to be left leg. It feels like it fits the characters, and I just enjoy the wordplay. Heh. I did enjoy that line. I couldn’t not put it in once I thought of it. I'm assuming you meant screaming. Well since the whole story was centred around this one night stand, I couldn’t help but just have that attraction and sexual tension start as soon as Lili walked in through the door. Then I started thinking about how to not just make it sexy, but kind of relatable for something that really is bordering on the edge of fantasy (Full on fantasy to me cause I know the backstory). So a couple little moments here and there I felt would help that. And since you liked it, I think it worked. And yes. Yes I meant screaming, lol. The bit at the end I meant to hint at a lonely life Lili has been living. And the drooling well… I included that cause too often media shows sleeping women as these perfect little creatures of beauty. I thought a nice little drool bit might really bring it down to reality. Glad you enjoyed! And thank you for reading and commenting!
  2. I thought Michael was an Archangel and his doesn’t end with ‘-el’ I think at this point we could concede these are names given to beings that we struggle to understand, and the ones they may hold for themselves don’t match up.
  3. Heh, fair, and thank ye. Tentacles can be damn hot. All that slithering. But, it lets me crank up weirdness and creepy too. As I keep saying, ad infinitium. Heh, maybe some of the good ol Romero films, but I likely owe more to Zack Snyder and James Gunn with their work on the 2004 Dawn of the Dead for how the possessed act. Damn that opening was awesome. And heh, fair, but I think the context is pretty equal. Fuckin You Tube. But I’m glad it works. Well… the change is basically the entire plot, so of course ye do. The original idea was more realistic and more drama based. More erotica than Erotic Hororr. And good. Sabine will be found soon enough. I thought it did. I’m glad it worked. I was a bit worried I was going overboard with some of the comments. The addictions though are less based on her change, and more on PTSD, not wanting to deal with what she did in Hell, and what she allowed to become of herself. It’s letting her be manipulated. I’ll see what I can do, but plot and story will determine when Sam appears again. But yes, I like throwing in the occasional phone call, thoughts, memories, and the like to link to her a bit more. And showing their caring. Glad you are.
  4. A review on Blood and Lace chapter 8 by @Tcr Yes, yes it has. And far too long in the coming as well. My basis is writing at a Hentai website, so I figure I’d bring a little hentai element into the story. I just… grounded it a bit, and it becomes a bit closer to horror on many levels. Plus tentacles. They’re fun to write. But yes, it was a challenge to have elements of the erotic and sexual/sensual, while also delivering on disturbing and horrorific. It’s a challenge I’m often posing to myself with this story, and it’s been fun. Eh… possibly a big bad. It is certainly one of the Devil’s that’s been referenced a few times throughout. As to what this particular one has in mind… time will tell there. I’m glad you found that creep factor though. Without it, I figure the presence of this Devil would be diluted. As to the sound of his voice… well, that’s up to the reader eh? As to the questions, and “What just happened?” well… what do you think just happened? I thought I was fairly clear cut on the delivery, but if I wasn’t… that kind of works in my favour this time around. The possessed, the damned, I’ve been eager to introduce for awhile. There’s a bunch of variations too that act… ever so slightly different from each other, depending on the sin they were imprisoned within. The ones we have here being Lust. But I had a lot of fun bringing them forth, and trying to present a zombie like foe that just… was odd, and fucked up. I actually took a bit from the comic “Crossed” for inspiration. The duality of them though is of my own design, and it did let me play with ethics and such a little bit between these two characters. A mix of zombie movie and city riot certainly works for the situation. I wanted that kind of chaos amidst it all. Heh, that line was inspired by the one in Battle Los Angeles that’s very similar. The question mark thing… it’s a bit of a typo, but it’s more a statement in a question for I suppose. I’ll ponder changing it and how that might alter the delivering in my head. And I wanted to show that… these four are becoming outsiders. They’re different, physically representing the very thing that seemingly invading. I just figured not everyone would be on board with them. Well, that jealousy may sap soon enough. We’ll see. Intentional. I find modern people very cynical, and so I wanted to portray that. I was experimenting a bit using You Tube and Headlines to deliver some world building. How did it turn out overall? I’m glad you’ve been enjoying Mia’s character arc. Part of it stemmed from my switch in plot and tone for the story, resulting in Mia’s end goal changing. Therefore, higher arc for her. Now… the relative bookstore owner. While writing I was aware of the cliche, but it’s not a big revelation in my mind if she turns out to be the witch. To me, it was on the nose enough for Mia to start following that particular bread trail and see where it leads. So while cliche, I didn’t want to build it up to be this massive revelation. More a small one. Yes… yes it does. Her rollercoasting really comes from her addictions. The highs and lows from the drugs, sex, and booze. Each low is getting lower, digging that pit deeper. I was tempted to go a bit cringier, but… people don’t often talk like that. I alreadt feel these examples are a touch extreme, but it works for that particular scene setup. The ending implication was a perfect fade to black moment. I really do need to involve Sam more. Alas it’s not on the cards for the immediate future. But it felt good to ground Kris in that love again. Thank you as always for the review.
  5. It’s possible they may not fire, but it’s more likely they would at least have used the non-lethal weapons under the pre-tense of actually protecting those trying to break in. I’m not sure what an electro gun would do to a vehicle, but it’s possible it’d be able to shut the vehicle down. Or a few well placed bullets to the tires. In the end it’s a small thing that I picked up on that sometimes has to get swept under the rug for the purposes of the story going ahead.
  6. Chapter 8 is finally… finally… up and available.
  7. Well, it’s only polite when reading someone’s work to leave something at least. But yes, a little touching on the military certainly goes a way into world building. I don’t think JayDee really played with that aspect cause the world building took a second seat to the act of that the story was displaying really. But yes, the soldiers with some preparation should be much better trained and prepared. I’ve been tinkering with some ideas of sloth based demons and monsters for a bit, so I feel the difficulties there in trying to put it out there as being associated with that particular sin while also being a viable threat. But the slug design and bone plates really sold the image. Glad I was able to help somewhat. I’m glad ye had that thought. Cause holy hell, nothing mucks up an operation like a bunch of people running around thinking they know what they’re doing yet not having a clue. While Luzurial confronting Kevin would have made me smile, it’s good you didn’t cause that could have been hurtful. No one likes having their pride poked at. Especially by the pretty girl you slept with and wanna protect. There’s a lot of reasons why Kevin acts the way he does, down the cultural ones, love, etc. etc. etc., and you have made good points and listed them. But… after all the times it’s brought up Luzurial is an arch angel, and how strong she is despite not being at full strength, it comes across really thick as a kind of male pride thing in Kevin’s behaviour. It’s part of his character for sure, but it’s also a little sad that nothing’s gunna change much in the next 75 years in regards to viewing women as the one’s that always need protecting on all those levels. There are reasons it could have happened sure, but it’s something that really popped out to me. Especially after promising an arch angel that these kids would be protected. Guess it all comes down to ROEs, which you’ve only slightly dabbled in. But considering the world ending threat, I kinda figure the thing should have gotten a few rounds up the grill and hood… I’ll try not to mention all the machine guns and such. And I am looking forward to seeing the conclusion.
  8. Ha, fair enough. They aren’t related, so no worries about bigger pictures there.
  9. Oh, she is changed. Read the story proper, and you’ll see. Bwahahahaha. But yes, this was supposed to just be a soldier and I wanted it to just be those emotions. The actual arriving at the homestead. Though, hitting that tarmac is nice too. I probly did. Apologies. Well… comments and reviews are nice. And yes, heh, it does come across a bit like a second review. My original reply still stands.
  10. A fresh batch of reviews I’ve not responded to yet. Here goes: First up, @Tcr for the Prompt Oneshot “Blackburn” Glad the sex was hot. A smutty one shot certainly would have fallen apart otherwise. This was fun for me, and aye I certainly wanted a different feel and tone to it than I did for Blood and Lace. I’m just happy the interactions between Eloise and Lauren was enjoyable, because otherwise no one would have made it to the sex later on. I think I tried harder for elegance this time. Cause of setting. Lol. Next we have another for “Blackburn” from @JayDee Excellent that you liked it! And Annabelle was rather enjoyable to write, with just offering peaks at who she was. And that viper line I loved, so couldn’t help but slither it in there. Lauren was really the crux and start of the whole story. She was the first figure I imagined, pretty much right after I walked out of the movie “The Favourite”. The story was originally going to be more focused around her, but when I sat down to right, I had it from the Queen’s perspective to make it more interesting to introduce Lauren. The sex was just fun to right, and I realized I’ve not done much anal fingering, or mouth riding. So I fixed that. The last of the batch for “Blackburn” is from @CloverReef After watching a bunch (okay, only 2) of historical pieces centred around the intrigues of court, I just had to write something about it. Glad to see my thing for those small gestures is still appreciated. I’ve always enjoyed doing it, and I won’t stop… so that it’s enjoyed is good, lol. I’m honestly not sure what I originally intended for pace, but I’m glad it is enjoyable and interesting. Lauren… as said to JayDee, she is the crux of the whole thing. Last review is from @InBrightestDay for the tale “Comin’ Home” Don’t worry, I’m just happy you did leave one at all. The return home… I think I wrote this around Remembrance Day, and I had to think back to a lot of things I was personally remembering of how I felt on my own return home. It’s one thing to see your loved ones again, but then as you mention, there’s a slight oddness of so many little things being different. It can make the familiar unfamiliar, and the warzone feel comforting again. can anyway. I know in real life soldiers don’t return home with all that gear, but I felt it would be a touch more impactful if she did. So... I wrote that in. As to the sword and wider world, it’s almost funny that I had forgotten about it when going to write Blood and Lace. But yes, I thought it would be an interesting little nudge. Well, I’m glad it came out all right. I think I just got hyper focused on certain elements to get across the steamyness I wanted. To all four of you. Thank you kindly for the reviews.
  11. Author: Sinfulwolf Title: Blackburn Summary: The twilight hours of the 19th Century are bringing much change. Nobles are being pushed aside by deeper pockets. Monarchies are giving way to parliaments. In this age of upheaval, at the end of a war between two great powers, a Queen will share a moment with a Captain of the army. But these two women are but pieces of the great game always at play. Feedback: Always welcome Fandom: Original – Femslash Warnings: F/F, Fingering, Anal, Oral Solo story or chaptered story: Solo story. From a writing Prompt. URL: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109284 Review Reply thread:
  12. Woo! I want to read your dark and depraved.
  13. Glad I could inspire something with that character, I do love dusting her off occasionally, and Corine seems quite cool. And I do hope you do more with this setting. Ambitions versus typing fingers battle or not. Perhaps something deliciously dark, and depraved. Like a good dark red wine.
  14. Crap… this is your review thread. But story straight: Comin’ Home was the story that kicked off Blood and Lace. I wrote it first, then decided to expand on what I had. As to the art… it was commissioned. I asked a friend to do it up, but the pin-ups were commissioned. There is one piece floating around that I’ve not shared here yet that was part of a trade but… yeah. Guess I’ve got the authorial arrogance and neediness. Well, fuck. Anyway, had to set records straight, so back to your review stuff.
  15. Your rambling there did make sense. But, while it’s good to have a support system, my exact concerns are going to be these two make love, and everything gets fixed (there’s only a few chapters left after all and at least one of them is going to be stopping the threat to the world). As JayDee said, making it F/F wouldn’t have made this particularly better. And I’ve not said you’re going to go that route… it’s just kind of primed for it right now.
  16. So… all it takes for the US to adopt metric is a demonic invasion. Good to know
  17. Author: Sinfulwolf Title: Comin’ Home Summary: A soldier returns home from Hell to her lover. Feedback: Always welcome Fandom: Original – Fantasy/Sci-fi Warnings: F/F, Fingering Solo story or chaptered story: Solo story. This is actually a rather short one shot that eventually spawned my Blood and Lace setting. URL: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109262 Review Reply thread:
  18. I’m not sure if it would have been Neutral Female only because Kevin and Abdul are clearly very out of their depths. However I think this also went to show how strong an Arch Angel can actually be.
  19. A review on Illyria’s Masquerade, from @Tcr Yer thinking too much of typical hierarchies. Remember, Illyria isn’t my character. This was done up for a friend starring one of her own creations, though most of the other characters that appear in the story are mine. She isn’t… harsh or anything like that. The character is supposed to just be sexy fun, I just gave her a bit more of a political bend in this one to emphasize her power and influence. Yeah, I really had to nail that to sell the scene. Glad it worked. Was meant to just be a quiet nod to my own works really. Felrya’s business is actually the story of Blood and Lace. But yes, this is something of a crossover, but it is not canonical. Just a reference. She is certainly a tease character. And the dress… my friend enjoys her butt cleavage on women. Can’t say I blame her… but I had to include that to some degree in the story. But I don’t wanna be one of them author’s that spends entire pages on clothing. I don’t think that’s why people are here. And yeah, the sex being tempered compared to Blood and Lace well… different audiences, tones, and stories. Kali was a fun little creation for me. I wanted to give Illyria a bit of a match, that made it sweeter when she ended up on top. Thank ye, I do try to write them steamy. And… well, like I said this was just a short one-off for a friend. I don’t know how much I’ll dabble in this world, but full novel is not up for consideration.
  20. Well, you’ve done well with the PTSD stuff, at least from my experiences with it. And heh, that’ll happen. The update to dialogue does make sense in the context, and it makes a lot more sense knowing it’s not supposed to last for even an overly long time, though I would have accepted a “You’ll find out next chapter”.
  21. Stuck, right in the middle of a lesbian sex sequence… oh, how the Gods of writing have abandoned me today.

    1. Tcr

      Tcr

      Well now...  That is troublesome...  I suggest...  no, maybe not that...  Possibly...  no...  What about...  perhaps not...  I know!  Porn!  No?  Damn...  Maybe reading some FF here?  You know, for inspiration...  

    2. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      And thus the mutual bean flicking commenced

      The exchange of fluids thus of sexual congress done

      And how of one penetration til the rising sun one with joy wept

      and one with sore hands and overworked jaw sighed

      content in her conquest.

    3. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      Well, that’s when you take out your pair of Sex DiceTM (Lesbian Edition) to help you decide who does what to which body part. 

  22. It seems @Tcr has gotten all caught up until I post Chapter 8 of Blood and Lace. Thanks again for leaving the reviews on each chapter. Glad you found that interesting. I’ve really enjoyed playing with the ‘lust shades’ that only succubae can see. I thought it a rather interesting ability that they could have, though a former friend of mine was the one that suggested it, and I just chomped on the bit for it. But, the reason I didn’t split the paragraphs and really have those shades shine, is that I wanted it to seem almost normal to the characters. That it was just another sense they have. I wanted it to blend in with every else, just like someone scanning a room and picking out plants, or the colour of someone’s dress. My geography ain’t the best. I chose Washington at first for having an isolated feel with fishing towns and the like, and it being close to the Canadian/U.S. border. Then went looking for the closest major city to where my fictional “Port Kent” is, and it happened to be Seattle. Also, I made the town of Port Kent, before realizing there was a city of Kent in Washington. That’s, some crazy coincidences. I kinda wanted to put forward that the doctor is fascinated by this all. I mean, people have been aware of the existence of demons and Hell for months in this setting. It’s something I need to play with more heading into the future. Hmm, fair points. Secondary characters help build the world. Gotta make em seem real too aye? Glad to hear my dialogue is improving. I certainly feel it is. I took a lot of time with this scene, trying to get the interactions just right to show how she’s changing, and how she’s still at the core, mostly human. It was fun, and pretty sexy, to write. Also fun toying with the power aspect of it all. Yer getting into very strict territory here when it comes to grammar and dialogue. A lot of teaching’s I’ve had, is pushing aside some rules can make for more interesting narrative and dialogue. The key is knowing which rules to push aside, and which to keep so that the story remains cohesive and not a wild mess. I did try. And Port Kent is more a… flashpoint. I thought so. It was a fun scene. Hmm, really that awkward? I kinda played with that particular line a bit, thought it might lend a bit to some weirdness. But if it’s really awkward might go edit it. As I’ve said, Rasha’s always been a tragic story to write, but she’s got a place in the story to deliver on things unseen by the others. Rather intimately as well. Yes, road head. Not the first time in this story either. I started picking up the pace of the transformation, because I figured people wanted to see the end product. And I want to have a succubus warrior going about doing her thing. Yeah, comma might have worked better. But the period gave the definitive pause for me. Sydxun and the new arrival. Things are certainly heating up in Port Kent. But yeah, I leaned on some of the implications there, building up from the previous chapter. Chapter 8 just needs to be edited. Hopefully it will be coming soon. I’m already working on chapter 9. Thank you again for the review.
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