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Sinfulwolf

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Everything posted by Sinfulwolf

  1. Final review of my backlog. Once more from @Tcr on Blood and Lace I have been trying to imply feeding off the energy of demons or those with demonic taint, is what’s pushing the transformation along. What Alison’s involvement may have had, that’s for the reader to consider. But it wasn’t Alison herself that fucked Derek, it was Sydxun’s presence in the basement. The wife has been pointing out to me that the transformations have been getting a touch stale. So, trying to make them a bit more dramatic. A bit more of a push towards the final stage of it all. Perhaps I should do more from the PoV of someone changing, but it’s mostly a physical thing. We all know how Kris feels about the changes already. This I will state though, once they change, it’s permanent. I didn’t want them shape shifting or anything. As to what that means for Kris and Sam well… we’ll see how into demons Sam is. Heh. I had to put little things like that in there. Little bit of Canuck humour for Canuck readers. But also play a little bit with the differences between them and their nationalities. I really thought about Aliens when writing this scene. A little bit of suspense with the action, further pushing the story to Erotic Horror instead of just smut. I like to think I can write some decent action set pieces. Mia has become a great tool for story and world building with her involvement with the Succubus Consul. And the Consul herself lets me do some good world building and give little glimpses to what Hell is like in this particular setting. I mean, that’s the other world. That’s the place that’s been done so many times over. I gotta try and make it somewhat interesting to the reader. And how it works as well with the devil’s and sins. So, it worked to have Felrya explain some stuff to Mia, and to have Mia broaden her current understandings, as they weren’t entirely correct before. The training regimen… that’s pretty much exactly what it is. Though, Felrya does enjoy doing it as well. Lo and behold. Glad you think the scene overall is hot though. And those particular lines. I didn’t want my demons to be necessarily ‘evil’ but I can’t have them be goody two shoes either. They do come from Hell after all. But I thought it was a good place to make some points about current governments and leaders. Humans certainly are far from perfect. As to those historical figures… who knows. I may get around to toying with the occupents of Hell a bit more in the future. Rasha is certainly meant to be the tragic one. The fallen one, and perhaps more so when we eventually get to backstories and the like. For the time being, we get to see her fall deeper and deeper. Manipulated to thinking she’s doing things of her own free will. But we know everything is for that next fix. That next high. The next hit. Whether she’ll pull back. even I’m not entirely sure anymore. The lord, well… you’ll see. I really wanted to start this off with as much normalicy as I could. Every little drop of it before things go a bit wacko. I think I succeeded, and it’s why I went with characters outside the main cast. The main cast is well outside of normal anymore. So I brought it some good ol humans to sell the normalicy. It also really sets up Alison for what she is, and some of her abilities, and the strengths of her master. The spell though was broken because of Kris, and even Kris doesn’t entirely know how she did it. The Mary Sue thing is actually something I’m usually not too concerned about. Kris may be the most badass, but she’s not the best at everything. And she’s still learning. If I was better at writing investigations, this would shine through a bit better. But thanks for the review, and very glad yer enjoying.
  2. The next review from @Tcr on Blood and Lace I felt it was important to set that stage. Helps ground the narrative, especially when we’re dealing with demons and the like. So glad it worked out. I spaced those out to get a good pause in there. I play these scenes in my head, much like a movie, so I write to get the effects I really want. I purposely wanted to disrupt the flow a bit here. The Crime Scene was fun. This is where the more horror like elements of the story really start creeping in after the coroner scene. I wanted this to really set in “Not a typical porn story”. As to the implications and what might be running about… read on and see. I tend to be pretty stubborn with stylistic stuff. That be me. I do need to bring Sam into the picture more. I have this character that I barely use, because it doesn’t fit. We’ll see what I come up with in the future for her. The protesters are a big part of the world. Helps ground it, because most people would not be happy with the state of affairs. But it also lets me set up future plot threads. Glad you liked the conversations, and Felrya’s description. She’s a big player after all. I used to be bad for using too many commas. Perhaps I’m overcompensating now. Ah wells. The Preacher. He’s fun. I like him muchly. As to what he is, you’ll see. Rasha I felt was the most important to get sympathetic. It’s too easy to shrug off people who are addicts, and that is what she most certainly is. So I had to show a struggle, a reason, and always keep pushing her further down that spiral. As for a turn around. We’ll see. Derek I like playing up some Cop Drama tropes with. He is military police after all. You are right in that him not being more changed, more advanced in his transformation, is why the spell works so easily on him. The role reversal though was more a side effect of how I’ve been going through the story. Perhaps more at the end would have been good, but again, I didn’t want to cram too many sex scenes in. Thank you again for the reviews.
  3. Another from @Tcr Thank ye. Always like to make a good impression with the chapter opening. Though, I certainly should have done more to show that the roof was leaking. A bit of confusion like that can certainly take people out of it. Though, not much happened in the room the night previously. I have gotten to the point that sometimes I just allude to the sex rather than showing, mostly because there’d be too many sex scenes, and not enough driving of the plot. I know this is a smutty story but it’s still a story first. In hindsight I think I could have done more with Kris’s realization. Eh, parts I wanted to sound somewhat awkward. A little less super hot and more stumbly. How well I succeeded, I dunno. Though at the end of the day, most of the scene should be sexy. And I’m glad it was. I’ll watch the commas, but I’ll keep sticking away from italics. It kind of hampers my style of perspective. I really liked that scene, was fun to write. Glad you enjoyed it. I have my moments certainly, lol. I did like how that turned out. Though, I think the biggest change for Mia is being back in a sort of comfort zone, and away from her ex. She’s got a task to focus on now, instead of being left to wallow. Rasha is the most difficult to write, mostly due to the addictions she’s bringing upon herself. It does feed into lust being more than sex, but it’s also her human element, trying to deal with what she’s seen and done while in Hell. Burying it all in substance abuse. But I did really want to play with the sins, and what else could come from them. I play with the other 6 later on in the story a bit. You’ll have to read on and see The Derek scenes here are shorter mostly because he gets some screen time already with Kris. This scene was really just to help set up some later shit. Though, him being the weakest in your eyes, perhaps I’ll have to tinker and play with him a bit. Give some more meat to them bones. I shall do what I can, but thank you for the reviews. And long ones I do enjoy.
  4. Bit behind. Got a few reviews from TCR on Blood and Lace. “They” actually refers to the government. Certainly should have been more specific there. I was kind of going for that ambiguous ‘they’ that people use when talking about government organizations. Glad ye liked the description though. Aye, there should be. Though I don’t think italics are needed. That’s certainly a style thing. Too many “thoughs” I think is the biggest issue. Missed that one. Yeah, I fucked up with Your/You’re. The comma though I don’t think is needed. Comma’s generally mean a pause in dialogue. Didn’t want one. Yeah, used Courtney too often here. But, if you’ve not noticed, I tend to put a fair bit in after a dialogue tag. That’s the way I write, and that’s starting to really get into “proper” and “science vs. art” of writing. Glad ye liked the sex though, and how the scene closed out. Though, I won’t tell on what yer reading into it. I really wanted to show the aftermath of the train, and that scene was just too cool in my head not to include. And it could be that, or it could be she’s just doing better getting away from her now ex. Holy fuck is that line awkward. But, yeah Rasha is really delivering on the T&A aspect, mostly. Yep, thin. Why thank you. There are aspects that certainly I wanted to be brutal. Yeah, I focused more on the interactions here. I didn’t want to go into too much depth here though. It was mostly just to get these two back together and show how they get on. Didn’t want to play with much of their abilities cause then I can’t slowly unveil them through the following chapters.
  5. Ahhh, fair enough. That makes sense too. Well, I’m glad to see a happier ending coming out of it, even if they journey won’t be easy (I don’t think it should be either, considering).
  6. Heh, tropes are there cause they work right? Sometimes dancing along trope lines works, because not using them just doesn’t make sense. And I get the form of therapy, I often write to vent and get all the shit out onto the page. Certainly helps. When it comes to the assault team, don’t worry, I full well knew they were the Tactical Unit for the PPD from the introduction in the office. I am, fairly familiar with how organizations like this operate. Which is why I initially raised an eyebrow to the charging in method. But, it makes sense in this case, considering precedent. Guess I’m just tired of having these groups always painted as the villain as a whole. It seems, cheap. As to the range thing. Heh, fair nuff. Looking forward to Part 3. I do believe, from what I’ve seen, that I will enjoy what continues to come out.
  7. I didn’t mind the torture stuff, I just started viewing it as a horror, and I quite enjoy the story. Considering some of the shit I’ve put in my own writing, can’t get pouty when others do the same stuff. And I have already started ‘The Woman in the Statue’. It’s pretty cool seeing the continuation of your story. Certainly happens. I guess in the end, I felt it didn’t go well with the set up of ultimate badass. But, something needed to happen for the story to go. I didn’t have a problem with the outfit per se. I’ve come across a lot of different settings where the angels wear very little. I think it just felt contradictory with the line about avoiding lusts. Whereas had she just been wearing the stuff, it might not have stood out to me so much. And no problem. It was a good read.
  8. A new review for Blood and Lace, and it’s a thick one: Firstly thank you much for the review. Especially such a long one, and never need to apologize for reading, and especially not for leaving feedback. First, I’m glad that Kris and Sam’s relationship seems good, and their dialogue natural. Dialogue is certainly an area I have some doubts in my abilities, especially in making it sound natural. As you noted that some of it seemed just a bit stinted. I think I may have been having an issue with trying too hard to push forward what I needed to happen next instead of letting these two breathe just a bit more and help really nail down how they feel about each other. Certainly something to work on in the future. Would certainly like to discuss what you felt was stinted. As to Sam looking things up, I thought that would be an interesting way to kill two birds with one stone. A) A little bit of exposition, but also B) Show Sam’s willingness to invest in the relationship, despite not having signed up for demonic corruption. Moving on to Mia’s scene well… hard to give much away about what’s going on in her mind without spoiling anything. Looking back there’s certainly some roads I could have pushed down instead of what I did. But we shall see how it turns out no? Glad you liked the shadowy creatures. There is certainly more to come. No answers to them for now. I did try to make the scene hot and disturbing at once. There’s a few times I gun for that. Rasha… at this point in the story Rasha’s personal tale is turning out to be a bit of tragedy. The spiral keep’s descending. Derek, well… same replies. Thank ye kindly. As to what he’s calling for. You’ll see.
  9. Why thank ye. I’ve not been tempted to kill off Lydia just yet, but we’ll see if any future stories bring her to a demise. I wanted the dark aspects of the story to more be background, and focus on some sexy fun between these two. Thanks for the review!
  10. Author: Sinfulwolf Title: Illyria’s Masquerade Summary: The Necromancer Illyria is hosting a Masquerade Ball in her castle. Many are invited, but there is one in particular that the sultry sorceress has her eyes upon. And the mistress always gets what she wants. Feedback: Always welcome Fandom: Original Warnings: F/F (main focus), M/F, some transformation. Solo story or chaptered story: Solo, all done now. URL: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109210 Review Reply thread: http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/topic/67125-sinfulwolfs-review-responses/
  11. Two reviews for my Krampus story! Woo! The only reason I don’t have it listed as complete is in case I ever want to return and play with Lea some more. The connections to Blood and Lace itself are pretty minimal, but I certainly felt that the setting opens up a lot of possibilities for fun. Thank you kindly for the review! I really don’t like to hold much back with anything I have slapped the “Blood and Lace” setting over. Suits the darker themes of the world as a whole really. But writing the Krampus was certainly fun. I looked through a bunch of the lore, but at the same time tried to think of how something like that might actually be. So he was fun to write, without letting too many of his motives shine through. And that you sympathized with him, well… that’s a feat I’ll claim happily. Your welcome for the tale, but thank you very much for the review. Very glad you enjoyed it!
  12. More that I resurfaced here later than Christmas last year. I have it posted elsewhere as well.
  13. Author: SinfulwolfTitle: A B&L Christmas: Krampus Delights of PainSummary: Lea has found herself on the naughty list. But with the portal to Hell opened, there is more than jokes and coal as consequence. A visit from the Krampus will show her the depths of her own lust, and a thrill for the ecstasy of pain.Feedback: Always welcome. Constructive criticism and discussion helps to improve.Fandom: Original FantasyPairing: N/A Warnings: Anal BDSM Bond CR Cuck Dom Ds MF OC SandM Spank Tort Toys ViolenceSolo story or chaptered story: SoloURL: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109200
  14. Well… now I’m posting a story I wrote last year.
  15. Thank you very much for the review (almost wrote reveal for some reason… brain still awakening it seems) But, since this story was so firmly from Varia’s point of view, I thought some of the descriptions and such would be a sleek way to world build a bit too. It being fantasy, I’m on the back foot for making the world feel real and lived in, so I do all I can to get that sensation for the characters and setting. Sometimes it works, as it seemingly did this time. Thank you again. Also, I do love my FF sex scenes. As that was the meat of it all, glad it was hot.
  16. Hmmm, that’s definitely something to keep in mind. I certainlly wanted there to be connections to the Halloween story, but I did mostly want this one to stand on its own. May have been a bit heavy handed with the connecting threads. As to the fade to black, heh, sorry about that. I think my thought process was I wanted to cut the scene while it was still good and sexy, and before I started to just get a bit repetitive. Thank you for the review!
  17. I find I get a little bit more done around now because I get time off from work. Sure there’s all the holiday prep that’s gotta happen, but without the work portion it’s fairly low key.
  18. Ha, that it does, I will admit. The world is much like that, so it fits for what’s our near future.
  19. @Desiderius Price That’s fair. I wasn’t overly lost through it, which is a good thing, and impressive seeing as how connected all your stories really are. Surely more impactful for those that have read everything, but I could still easily follow the story only missing the more subtle cues. @CloverReef Well, I’m a little sick in the head, so even that hard left turn was fun. I’m glad you love it. I want to work more in this world at some point. Whether that means a fully fledged story, or keep showing Lydia’s journey through side characters. I also have the soft spot for witchy characters, and I don’t write them enough (I say that about a few things...). But thank you about the comments on the writing style. I could always use a few ego pumps.
  20. I do have a lot of fun with the Roman elements and bringing them into a fantasy world. I’ve actually been trying hard too not to make the Clergy and the religion of Ilimm the too typical overbearing Catholic knockoffs. I did throw Varia into a different kind of situation, and I had fun with the play between the two. I’ll be revisiting this world again at some point. Thank you very kindly for the review! I think that was the one big thing I wanted to tackle with this setting, is not having light and dark equate to good and evil, even if the two do sometimes treat the other that way. I’ll have to explore Lyxa a bit more in the future though. And glad you thought the characters were ‘delightfully human’. Also, good quote.
  21. @BronxWench the challenge is always fun. See how often you can do it without starting with bodies… though… can always end with many. @Desiderius Price It’s always fun to try different things. I find with one shots and shorts I often try to bite off more than I can chew. I think the best way to do it is look at a singular event and really double down on it. Of course, this is writing, and there’s many best ways
  22. Had a typo on my letter to Santa… Be careful with that N placement, else you’ll get something entirely different.
  23. Tentacles are often fun. I’ve not written them in awhile… at least nothing posted as of yet. Still, trying to straddle both might be interesting task. I’m not entirely sure what WAFF is… so do that so I know?
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