GeorgeGlass

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GeorgeGlass last won the day on April 17

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  1. Excuse me? In watching Marco and Star, Jackie can see that their feelings about each other are fundamentally different from Marco's feelings about her. Although Marco enjoys himself with Star (after getting past the awkward stage), their sexual encounter visibly lacks the passion and intimacy that characterized Jackie and Marco's coupling at the Chillaximus Spa. So, ironically, watching her boyfriend have sex with Star makes Jackie see that Star is not a threat. Glad you liked that. Exactly. Jackie has never struck me as the type to get in the way of her own happiness. Star’s apology was one of those “I wish they would do this on the show” things. If Star ever finds out what Tom was trying to do at the Blood Moon Ball, I'd like to think that she would apologize to Marco (after reading Tom the Riot Act) for chastising him that night. (Unless, of course, All Possible Worlds’ theory about the Blood Moon choosing the souls that it binds together turns out to be right.) I couldn't readily think of a way to involve Rogelio more in the story. But keep in mind that his visit actually lasted almost a month in story-time. Thanks! Yeah, this thing basically turned into a novella. It was a labor of love. Thanks again.
  2. I have to remember not to let other people use my phone to send texts or emails. I’ve used it so much for porn writing that the thing keeps suggesting “fucking” as the next word.

    1. FairySlayer

      FairySlayer

      Who knows – maybe they’ll be happy to take its advice one way or another. ;)

  3. I’ve never heard of “Out With Dad,” but maybe I’ll check it out. I don’t generally write stories about live-action shows, though.
  4. Thank you! I would be happy if Star and Marco got together in the end, but I would also be happy if they ended up best friends for life.
  5. I've always had mixed feelings about the notion of Star and Marco having a romantic relationship. On the one hand, they are great together, and no doubt they would be great in a long-term boy/girl relationship, too. But on the other hand, I feel like their getting together romantically would be, in a sense, a step down for them, because romantic feelings could easily get in the way of the wonderful friendship they have (which seems to be pretty much what happened in season 2). So I decided to make “Star’s Crossed Lovers” about the strength of Star and Marco's friendship and how much each of them values it. You SO get this. Thank you. That's fair. To be honest, when I wrote that scene, I was still thinking in terms of all of the material in chapters 12 and 13 being one chapter, and I didn't want to cram two prolonged sex scenes into one chapter. Also, I couldn't think of what to do differently with Marco and Jackie's second sexual encounter that would distinguish it from the first. So I was not at my most creative there. Not now, not ever. I guess that's the Star-and-Marco way of saying, "And they lived happily ever after." In the end, it's all love. Romantic love is just one flavor. That's an interesting theory. It would explain why the painting talked to Marco (something that has yet to be brought up on the show). It also casts Tom in a less asshole-ish light, because it implies that Tom might have been merely hoping that Star was destined to be his soulmate instead of trying to trick her into becoming that.
  6. Author Notes (SPOILERS) The idea for “Star’s Crossed Lovers” came to me when I was writing my previous SVTFOE story, “It's Different for Boys,” in which Star volunteers to help make Marco look cool in front of Jackie, and Marco tells Star that if she ever needs a wingman with Oskar, he'll be there. The story goes in a completely different direction after that, but the idea of Star and Marco becoming each other's wingmen stayed with me. I figured, they're opposite-sex best friends who have crushes on other people, so why wouldn’t they help each other out? The other inspiration for this story was a sketch by Kyder of Star fist-bumping Marco while he's getting it on with Jackie. The one thing I thought would have made the picture even better would be if Star were doing Oskar at the same time (because I loves me some parallelism), so I decided to make that happen in story form. After having the initial idea, I had to do some research, because I didn't know what a wingman actually does to help his buddy get with someone. So I posted the question on a couple of different forums. The general consensus was that the wingman’s role is to make the other guy look good by saying things like, “Hey, I heard about that big raise, congrats!” in front of the woman the guy is trying to impress. That helped me figure out what Star and Marco would say in front of each other's respective crushes. Coming up with the title was difficult. Not satisfied with my own ideas (eg, “Flight of the Wingmen”), I posted a brief summary of the story here on the AFF forums and asked for suggestions. Fellow SVTFOE fanfic writer GrayNeko came up with the nicely witty title “Star’s Crossed Lovers.” As mentioned in the disclaimer at the start of the story, I began writing before season 2 aired, and I fully expected that at least some of the events of season 2 would contradict what happens in the story. This proved to be the case, to such a great degree that I didn't even try to reconcile the story with season 2 canon. Here are some of the points of contradiction: • In chapter 4, Star gets upset at Marco for describing Star and himself as being “just friends.” But in the episode “Mr. Candle Cares,” Star uses this phrase to describe her relationship with Marco. • In chapter 10, Janna uses the narwhal blast spell and implies that she learned it from Star’s spell book. However, in season 2, we learn that narwhal blast isn't in the book (because Star made it up herself). • Tom actually proves to be a bit sympathetic in the season 2 episodes “Mr. Candle Cares” and “Friendenemies,” whereas in “Star’s Crossed Lovers,” he's a straight-up villain. (Before season 2 began, I thought that Tom might end up being the Big Bad for the season, given the scuzziness of his trying to trick Star into binding her soul to his in “Blood Moon Ball.” But upgrading Ludo was a valid villain choice, too, IMO.) • The big one: In season 2, Star develops a crush on Marco. I'm not against that; it just wasn't the direction I wanted to go in this story. Boner is based on the skeletal guy who is chained to the wall and about to get smashed with a mace (voluntarily, it seems) in “Blood Moon Ball.” I created Boner mainly to give Tom someone to talk to as he formulates his evil plans, but he's there for comic relief, too. I imagine Boner as having the slowest, dullest voice that Tom Root (the actor who voices Tom's life coach, Greg, as well as many characters on other shows) could manage. Grandpa Rogelio was inspired by the World's Most Interesting Man from the Dos Equis commercials. The first bit of dialogue I thought of for Rogelio was his words to Marco in chapter 9 about how “the pasión, she die...Not quickly, like the slaughtered pig whose slit throat sprays blood like a lawn sprinkler...but slowly, like the pig with the chronic atherosclerosis.” His fondness for disgusting similes grew from that. The name of Tom's favorite brand of horn polish, Dr. Boggs’ Hex Wax, is a play on Mr. Zogs’ Sex Wax, which is used on surfboards. The bit in chapter 6 about Janna's parents lamenting the loss of their favorite business establishments (the goth store for her mom, the coffee shop for her dad) is meant to imply that Janna is the offspring of a goth and a grunge. That would explain her behavior and fashion sense perfectly, don't you think? I've always thought it was a little weird that Oskar has those fangs and that they have yet to be explained, or even mentioned. So I came up with the half half-demon thing to explain why Oskar has them. The idea of Janna finding Marco’s handwritten five-step plan in chapter 6 was inspired by Fairy Slayer. When he beta-read chapter 1, he commented that Marco putting the list in his pocket was surely a setup for someone to find it later. I hadn't even considered that, but then I thought about a certain girl who gets a kick out of picking Marco's pockets, and there we were. The title of chapter 7, “To the Maximus,” is sort of a double entendre, as it refers to both the Chillaximus Spa and to the gluteus maximus—the muscle of Jackie's that Marco especially wants to massage. The bit about Star and Marco cuddling up with the laser puppies for warmth at night was inspired by my cats, which I sometimes find sleeping on top of me when I wake up on a cold morning. The only laser puppy that has been named on the show to date is Sajak, who is presumably named for Pat Sajak of Wheel of Fortune. Thus, the three laser puppies that are named in chapter 9—Harvey, Barker, and Eubanks—get their names from other American game show hosts: Steve Harvey (Family Feud), Bob Barker (The Price Is Right), and Bob Eubanks (The Newlywed Game). A few ideas I toyed with and rejected: • Rogelio (and therefore Marco) is descended from a noble family that was banished from Mewni for siding with the monsters in the Great Monster Massacre. Rogelio is in the current royal family's good graces, though, and he contacts them (through a magic mirror of his own) at the end of the story to give a mysterious report about “how things are progressing” between Star and Marco—implying that they are expected to get together eventually. I rejected this idea because it implies that there will be a sequel (which I am not planning at this point) and, more importantly, because it undercuts the story's theme of friendship over passion. • Janna is not fully human but is partly some sort of spider-creature. This idea came from Janna inexplicably baring a pair of spider-like fangs in “Interdimensional Field Trip.” (Yes, they were probably plastic fangs Janna bought at the museum gift shop, but who knows?) But I didn't think this would add anything useful to the story. • We find out that Jackie has known about the five-step plan for some time (maybe because Janna blabbed), but she isn't angry about it; rather, she feels flattered that Marco would go to such lengths to become her boyfriend. But that idea seemed contrived and, ultimately, unnecessary, because Jackie could easily figure out on her own that Star was the catalyst for Marco starting to court her. I often “proofread” my work by having the Voice Aloud app on my phone read it to me, which makes it easier to notice misspellings and repeated words and such. (I got this idea from Fairy Slayer.) Amusingly, although the app has problems pronouncing certain words, like “piece” and “wash,” it pronounces “Uncle Hardegarbamar” perfectly. If this story were a movie, I would want the poster to show Star and Marco standing back to back, ready to kick some butt, with the tagline, “Not just friends. Best friends.”
  7. Suddenly, Marco looks like the typical protagonist of a harem anime movie. As Rogelio said, true friendship requires faith. Star has that faith in spades. Jackie and Oskar's hints helped Star and Marco jump-start their arousal. Once their motors were running, though, they were ready to do things their own way. I couldn't imagine Star and Marco having sex without talking. I mean, these guys don't even stop talking when they're fighting monsters. Thank you! Final chapter to be posted shortly. Yikes. I didn't even think about that. BTW, in your review of chapter 6, you mentioned that you were pretty sure what “gift” Tom was going to have Janna pass along to Star. Were you right? (The gift was the four passes to the Chillaximus Spa.)
  8. Miraculous is seriously formulaic, but as Phineas and Ferb proves, a formulaic show can be great if the formula works. And Miraculous has certain qualities that make it good lemon fodder: -an understated sensuality (eg, Ladybug's nice figure in her form-fitting costume) -two main characters who are attracted to each other in a big way -magic, which makes many a plot device plausible Oh, I left out a fandom in my previous post: I’ve been working on a Steven Universe story on and off for some time now. .
  9. I’m currently working on the third chapter of my latest Phineas and Ferb story, “Hot Yoga.” I’ve also got a Miraculous story in the works (to be titled “Miss Match”), as well as another The Loud House story (“The Loud House After Dark”). I’m definitely open to writing a Milo Murphy’s Law story, but I’m waiting for the right idea to hit me.
  10. Thanks! My ego is now fully inflated. Whoa. Time dilation… Thank you! Although Oskar is a canonical character, he has been used so little on the show that writing him is almost like writing an OC. That has given me a lot of freedom to develop him. When I first thought of writing this scene, the awkward start -- especially the hysterical laughter when they try to kiss -- was the first thing that came to mind. I love words and wordplay, so I like coming up with ways to use it in Star’s dialogue. Being from another dimension means that she isn't necessarily familiar with all of our idioms (nor are we familiar with all of hers, like “riding the unicorn”), so there’s lots of room for language fun. Thank you! It took me quite a while to figure out how that scene was going to work. Eventually, I realized that the action needed to flow from the two characters’ personalities, and that meant their letting loose and having fun. My bad: My original plan was to end with the 12th chapter. But as I wrote it, I realized that there was too much material to fit into one chapter, so I split it into two. Now the last chapter will be 13 -- which will be posted soon, because it's already written and just needs a little cleaning up. *blushes* Actually, the omission of the quotation mark there was intentional. When a piece of dialogue continues into the next paragraph, you leave off the end quote in the first paragraph as a clue to the reader that the same character is still speaking. Thanks so much for the review! Final chapter coming soon.
  11. Thank you! I generally only write fanfics about shows with which I’m very familiar (because I want to get the characterization right), and Star Vs. is one of those. It’s my guess that the writers of the show coined the term “warnicorn” while they were writing “Mewnipendance Day,” and they liked the word so well that they kept using it whenever the opportunity arose.
  12. Star has used the word "unicorn" on at least two occasions that I can think of: In “Star Comes to Earth”: “Some people have called me reckless and irresponsible just because I fight monsters, and tame wild unicorns!” In “Blood Moon Ball”: “My best friend is a unicorn...I'm not gonna bathe in unicorn blood, Tom.” And, of course, she loves Marco's ringtone song, "Space Unicorn." To the extent that there is any logical consistency in the world of Star Vs., I would guess that a warnicorn is a particular type of unicorn that has been specially bred and trained for battle. But there are other types of unicorns, too. Thanks for the comment!
  13. I suppose a corollary of what y’all have been saying about hooking the target audience is that different types of stories call for different types of summaries. The summary for a funny story ought to be at least a little bit funny itself, whereas the summary for a mystery ought to be mysterious.
  14. Not that I can think of. So I guess you’re right about the rarity of hung shota stories.
  15. You're not wrong about that. I was inspired to write this story after reading “Hung Shota” by Slutwriter over at Hentai Foundry. I think she discontinued it without finishing, but I enjoyed the six chapters she wrote. http://www.hentai-foundry.com/stories/user/SlutWriter/9856/Hung-Shota/24289/Chapter-0/Patient-Zero/page/all