Kurahieiritr

I've read it for you, Bronx, and to be honest, you kept the same rugged flavor that caught my imagination in the first short novel in tact. Second novels rarely live up to the first novel's potential. The fact that you maintained the ancient cultural hints and capitalized on them made the story. Seeing the undertones of prejudice and fear of knowledge was very believable. SO yeah, it was a great reading story due to those nuances.

Congrats on the next book coming out so soon. You've got a great storyline with this tale.

Hello to everyone who has been joining the AFF community of late. Hope you all enjoy your time here. It may not be the most review happy spot, but it makes for a great online home for sharing whatever wild things our plot bunnies can dream up to get all of us into writing.

A: LOL, yeah, I hear you. I think that had it been portrayed as horror I would have not been so freaked that a living girl was being torn apart while getting raped though. It was listed as a sex fetish variety tale, not a horror flick from hell. Considering I was trying to think of an angle for something I am working on, I just decided to check into something involving fetishes since I'm not all that savvy on them to be very honest. ROFL. Voyeurism is one of the few I know much about, and I thought I could find out about others. Needless to say I got a bad shock on that one.

I agree with Magus on this one. When a second book is in the works, then it is permissible to pull that kind of stunt. Sounds like you have a lazy reader in such a case who does not like surprises at that point. I wish you good luck in your ongoing saga.

A: The fact you're willing to have guts enough to put the tag in the storyline at the top of the chapter is what counts in my book. Shock can be done without being wrongfully underhanded. I am willing to check out things that shock me to a point, but everyone has a line that should not be crossed against their will, and I think you understand that difference. Reading a non con and a fetish tag does not prepare people for certain types of really disturbing fetishes, and that is a fact. I did not know there was a fetish for killing during sex that existed until I came across the wrong fic. I'd heard of strangulation sex before, but never had I heard of blood murder fetish until I was reading a specific story where the tags were hidden until the end of the chapter. Discovering halfway through a chapter that an Original character was getting raped while being dismembered was not a pleasant surprise to me since I had no idea that it was going to be written with such a gruesome amounts of detail. I had to stop reading the story because the tag said "non con" alone. The murder/blood fetish tag was found at the end of the story chapter, not at the beginning. I wish I had been goiven more of a choice in whether or not I was willing to read said chapter. It had the warning listed well after the scene began so I could not report it since the tag was listed at the bottom of said chapter I discovered when I skimmed to see if anything was listed in the afterthought variety A/N I had noticed the writer did add in another chapter. I don't mind fetishes as a rule, but something that bad in taste was more than I could stomach, and I would have skipped that chapter had I known about the level of twistedness the bad guys were capable of doing no matter what. It was the first non con tag I had ever seen that was that gruesome to be honest, and it has made ma a lot warier about what stories I read of late. Now I double check the sum of the story for A/N's before I read a single chapter of anything just to be certain that bottom of story tags are checked over in the event they exist. A: Fan girls exist who throw hissy fits over all sorts of stories simply because it does not fit their deluded ideals. Putting the wrong couple together is grounds for a lunch mob it seems. I did that and got to see how many flames and hate filled dramas can get shoved into my reviews on another fan fiction site before the rabid decided that that the way I put it all together truly worked even better than their preferred darlings of choice. ROFL. I don't get the rabid fan girls at all. They screamed and threw fits about the romance I designed, but they also kept reading the stories. Has anyone else ever had that happen to them?

A: Good to know. I've run across a couple stories during my time here that did not have much needed tagging in the summary, or the tags were reserved for the very bottom of the specific chapter so I've gotten a couple of rough surprises while reading to be honest. A genuine tag field would remove many excuses for those who like to shock the crap out of the rest of us just because they think they can. I'll be looking forward to the changes, so I can repair my summaries/tags once that is launched at some point in the future. No need to put the staff into any extra over worked conditions than you guys already have.

Try having her reeling from shock at seeing/hearing the master then. Present her having a full blown flashback via her point of view so that she is struggling to remember that she is in a new place and time. It would clear up any issues if you leave traces of her abused self much earlier in the story through foreshadowing scenes such as her awakening from nightmares or having her acting jumpy over sights and sounds she would be accustomed to hearing/seeing during captivity. Give her a scar that twinges or other items of the same kind to hint at her past being so dark before tossing the master at her. Such foreshadowing would be normal to such a storyline. A quick flash of a disjointed scene that pops in her head could also be a great way to make clear not all is well in her strong woman's world. If the readers find her hard to believe in when the trauma hits, it means you forgot to leave any traces that she is more complex than you have shown her to be to this point in your story line. All trauma victims have triggers, and that is a fact. Like I said earlier, victims have to learn what their triggers are so they can desensitize from them. If she does not yet know her triggers well enough, she is going to flip out completely and that is a known fact of psychology/psychiatry.

Not only is your idea possible, but highly likely if the woman has not learned how to desensitize herself to overcome the trauma of her past. The escaped woman would be paralyzed by her past when facing her previous master without warning, especially if she hears trigger words or phrases, or sees items that she could not defend against during captivity. Post Traumatic Stress tends to blind a person to the now they are standing within, and their brain misfires so they believe they are in a much different place and time where they cannot fight back in many cases. The sight of a specific item can also cause the same extreme reaction that throws the person mentally into another time mentally when they were completely unable to protect their lives and bodies. Smells can also cause the same thing to happen. I've heard of combat vets returning from war who flip out over smelling burned gun powder used in fireworks. They think they are back in a full blown war zone without any way to escape mentally so long as the smell of gunpowder is present. If you learn about PTSD, you'll find many different triggers to choose between and utilize unfortunately. Hearing repeated phrases from a period of extreme vulnerability/defenselessness before learning how to defend herself would throw her mentally back into that period before she learned to be strong and to defend herself. I survived abuse in my marriage when I was younger. My family rescued me and my infant son. they had to make sure that as the divorce proceeded, the beast could not see me without their presence. His words and smell caused flashbacks to happen to me with my ex until I found a way to break my responses to said triggers, and heal from the past so I did not have hard flashbacks that blinded me completely any longer. Abusers love to repeat certain types of phrases as a rule, so I could totally see the scenario playing out that you suggest. The hardest part of any healing is simply learning what the trigger phrases and words were so the victim can fight the habit of losing consciousness of where they actually are at that point. Desensitizing is difficult, but it can be done. Hope that helps you out somewhat.

A: I think this is the best news ever! Will be waiting with great anticipation for the new code re-writes to separate tags from the summary field. Any Idea how long until we'll be hearing about the launch of a new tag field, . . . next year maybe?

A: Everyone online creates a fake persona it seems. Since 1992, I have crossed paths with an overwhelming number of con artists who try to get something out of anyone they can connive into believing they actually care. The net does have some areas that are full of crazies of all classes unfortunately. At least here, the structure of our forum lacks the normal pressurized expectation of "pretending to fit in" garbage inherent with so many other places online. I find it refreshing that I can be my normal, opinionated self. Smart ass comments are allowed which is wonderful to get considering what a politically correct minefield the rest of the real world insists upon upholding as unspoken law. It is nice to be able to enjoy the freedom of speaking my mind without too much censure over it. So to all new folks, welcome to AFF's forums, and have fun letting your hair down and undoing those stuffy ties. Some of us might nibble a bit, but we don't really bite unless it is requested. ROFL

An in depth world build crib I recently finalized to share. Hope this helps someone in need. It is sci-fi geared, but you can use it for fantasy easy enough with a little tweaking. GENERALIZED OUTLINE- WORLD BUILDING BASICS: SCIENCE FICTION ASTRONOMICAL/GEOLOGICAL SECTION: PLANET NAME: PLANET CLASS: Moon, Super terrestrial, Terrestrial (earthlike)Sub-Jovian, Jovian (Think Jupiter) Sub-Terrestrial (Think Venus or Mars for size): If Terrestrial; is it like Earth now, or Past or Futuristic: How is this planet the same or different from our planet? Type of atmosphere? GEOGRAPHY: Mountains/Deserts/Plains/Woodlands/ Swamp/ Oceans, ETC. Physical features include Size/ Gravity/Atmosphere/ Moon (s)/ Sun class (f5 lower strength white through f-9 lowest- to G class yellow (our sun I in this category= G1 to G9 (9 is weakest)or K class (red Dwarf’s which may be close to death =Plot added drama/ and constellations of note: What natural resources exist (such as mining resources to build technology from if applicable)? How are these resources utilized by the dominant species specifically? CLIMATE: Distinct Seasons; Summer/Winter/Spring/ Fall/Dry/Wet/ & Types of Weather patterns: IE. Snow, Rain, Arid, Humid, Tropical, Temperatures expected average during each Season: FLORA AND FAUNA SECTION: FOOD SOURCES: What do people and animals on planet eat? DOMESTICATED ANIMALS: Types of livestock for work or food can your planet support based upon geography and climate? What types of companion animals or Pets does your world have, if any? WILD ANIMALS: What kinds of animals does this planet support naturally? How do the main People and animals from the wilderness regions interact? Are wild animals carnivores, omnivores or Herbivores, or some of each type? What is the food chain like? Ex: herbivores need plants in large numbers to eat so the carnivores can eat them and the omnivores eat both meat and plants aka like humans do: Are any of these wild life animals intelligent like your dominating species is intelligent? PEOPLE OR RACES SECTION: POPULATION SIZE: World population: City Population: (Only those needed for story line): Town populations: Village Populations: SPECIFIC RACE (s) of note: In what ratios? (I. E. 30% white skin, 15% black skin, 12% blue skin, 65% green skinned ) CULTURE AND SOCIETY: Villages or cities, rural or suburban, inner-city versus outer-city (think New York with Brooklyn and other suburbs for inner outer city concept) Language(s) spoken: Specific cultural aspects: (Hunter Gatherer/ Farmer/ Industrialized?) Holidays, Celebrations, Rites of Passage, Family Traditions? What are the most important festivals and holidays? How important to culture are these rituals and holidays? Behaviors frowned upon? Behaviors approved of? Word or Phrases specific (Idioms) to the region in question? Any known origins to the words or phrases used by people of this area? Significance of following cultural enrichment forms: Art: Entertainment: Leisure Activities: Architecture: Dress/Fashions: What forms do these items take? GENDER ROLES:Which gender is dominant or is there no dominance at all? How does society enforce those gender roles through education, Through expected conformation of roles between the two genders? Family structure: Who raises and teaches children? What levels of education exist on this planet or in a specific area? What forms of specialized Education systems exist if any? Who cooks meals by tradition? Who cares for sick family members with non lethal colds? Do extended families live together or is it Parents and children only in each dwelling? Are there different types of food eaten in different social classes or unified to region (japanese eat stir fry/Americans eat Steak and potatoes as example) SOCIAL CLASS: Warrior/spiritual, Wealthy/Working/Poor/Middle class Etc: Where do each class of people live and do their dwellings vary from class to class? Do clothing, personal items such as Jewelry or fashions vary based upon class and wealth? Doe Hairstyles and similar things vary by class and what types are there? (Long or short hair? Beards or mustaches etc go here) TIME SECTION: What calender or other methods of measuring time exist? Include clocks and time pieces, or sun dials, as well as give some form of indication as to whether or not this society is aware of months and years passing. (All technology using species will have both clocks and calendars for certain as will any medieval societies have at least calenders if they have oceanic shipping and trade with outside races and nations) RELIGION(S): One God or Many? Name some and denote genders implied: Spiritual philosophies: Beliefs about Birth, Death, and Afterlife ? Does culture condone Burial or Cremation, or something else? Why? Who is in charge of places of Worship? Does this place have magic practices and if so how does that affect the world on a planetary wide basis as well as locally? How does religion in general impact the world? Will it have relevance in the plot line of the story? Or will it simply be a low key element that helps define character behaviors in story line? Do different races have different Gods? Does Technology and religion co-exist peacefully or are there strong conflicts between the two factions? TECHNOLOGY SECTION: What levels of technology exist on this world (horse and carts/ or cars and planes/ Space ships and higher?) Is technology the same planet wide or only in specific regions? Is technology distributed based upon racial or economic factors or equally shared? Is there a technological aspect that will have significant impact upon the story? What is the major forms of transportation? (horse and carts/ or cars and planes/ Space ships?) How does technological advances shape these forms of transportation? What level of technology for weapons where applicable? (Forges/ assembly lines/Robot workers as examples) Are there any weapons restrictions, and are those restrictions important to the plot line? How has the technology (or magic) helped to build up or destroy the society that uses it? Is it still helping to build, or destroy its users? What level of medicine exists? Who does the healing? What technology is involved, if any? (Shamans and witches and magic users would use herbs or crystals) If technologically advanced what types of medical care is available to the people (Hospitals and insurance company concepts go here) What types of diseases and illnesses are common? Are they curable, or lethal? POLITICS SECTION: What kind of GOVERNMENT(s) exist in this world? (Story Relevance Specific) (POLITICS is always relevant to some degree in every story line!!!) How, & why did this government come about? Who makes and upholds the laws of the region? What are the laws and the consequences for breaking them? How are relationships between Countries? Are any currently at war with each other? If so, why? What level of law enforcement exists? Is there a structured legal system such as in America with lawyers and courts? Or is it ‘caught and hung same day’ variety (antiquated/medieval) system? Governmental Questionnaire: 1) Does your planet have more than one government? Sovereigns = King Queen, by birth with Dukes and Lords democratically elected= president and congress as example Elder’s council Land holders council dictatorships ogliagarchy Parliamentary (Limited Sovereign- must get elected groups agreement to do certain things) Militant (yes it is different from Tyranny, A.K.A. Dictators) Cooperative (a lot like Ogliagarchy, but a smaller group making the decisions) 3) Communications systems include mail, phone or other forms of vocal/written communications. Are there high tech telephones or is there a mailing system? How does it work for sending info like ‘Help, we’re being attacked! Send the militia!’ How does it work if calling home to say, “hey mom and dad I’m getting married next week, or I got that great new job!”? 4) taxation? How does it work? Purchases taxed only, Land, paychecks, possessions, birth fees? Be creative as you are not playing U.S.A. here. Example: a world that only taxes at time of birth, be it a sentient child or farm animal, all young are taxed which helps stop overpopulation. Perhaps a a historical nightmare that almost destroyed this particular species/planet would generate such a taxation formula. 5) Basic history...any major wars? Inter-species to interplanetary? More than one country/nation and governmental styles will have a past war history. First space voyage, famous treaties or constitutions with who signed and why? These are good to make obscure references to in novels that take place elsewhere if only to remind the reader of the exotic setting without having to bash readers over the head. Major holidays, interplanetary and galactic? Design a general interspecies calender, or national holiday calender depending on the genre writing. 6) Military.. Draft based or volunteer corps? Paid a good wage/ poor wage? Does this world have sets of treaties to provide troops in time of crisis in example Coalition sponsored or local provisions such as lord calling on vassals, or do they have full time experienced and trained army or similar liberation intentioned forces? Example : major ports and military platforms paid for By Coalition agreements in return for skills such as tech support, housing for warriors, docking/repair platforms in space etc...(sci fi examples) 7) Diplomatic corps) How many? Any special training/school system for this group, or do these diplomats train under one of the Halls (This is the term for schools based upon highly specific technology, medicine, textiles, political, police, computers or space travel in my sci-fi series which means trained by a journeyman level for the particular trade... It’s a guild based trade society kind as you can see....If you choose Hall style, is training off planet in technology space faring sci fi books formula, or planet sponsored (for home planets with resident halls such as fantasy based books would contain) give list of Halls and what they train to yourself to help insure plot consistencies and add details to plots through dialog etc... Or give list of educational expected forms such as home school to high school and college if possible. 8) technology, science and jobs section; Is technology eco friendly or industrial pollutants generating? Large city complexes with factories & refineries, or smaller information dominant social structures that have pleasant in home offices, smaller scientific designated areas versus agriculture regions. 9) Trade section/ large mass goods or specialized goods. Example, Are they like Corroscant from Star Wars.. Must import food and water to survive.. Or like Mon Calamari... Lots of exports, lesser imports due to self sufficiency. Export raw materials or finished, or refined goods. Taxes and regulations upon imports & exports where applicable. Community based trade without taxation such as a village would be seen as normal. IN DEPTH JUDICIAL SYSTEM: What rules for theft or does this species idolize it? Violence (warrior species will probably have ritual battles and other forms of accepted violence and laws that uphold forms of ritualized violence)are there laws for or against sex crimes? Or any other form of judgement ruled system such as divorce, wills/probate, and drug slave trade laws or bans etc. and who enforces... Military <militant rule government system> private security groups (hired by government?) Regulation trained police or law enforcement agency that is government backed. Embezlment, fraud/perjury, domestic situations: I.E. traffic tickets/ monetary disputes., lawsuits, you get the idea. ***This information can be used in future scenarios to explore corruption and other forms of negative enforcement as well as to challenge our respective characters in different world settings in the future trust me. The weirder and/or bizarre the laws, governments, rituals, and technology you design; the more creative the plots for Characters and creations to build one heck of a lot of twists, plots and fun.. All members are expected to visit everyone else’s planet and learn it’s customs etc... before this set of games is done. Please fill out as much as you can and do research on different types of governments in any encyclopedia, online, or in book form to learn how to design your background setting for your books you write. This information does affect every aspect of social order and will have strong bearings upon plots which must have some form of social cohesion. ECONOMICS: What types of currency is used? (Money and coins/ credits or plastic cards/ or implanted chips/ gems or barter forms (a Chicken for a bag of grain example) Currency? What are denominations in credit/ money forms for your planetary or nations? Driads for Coalition as example. If you have major ports of call built into your system, you may have a star grouping form of currency such as example Star Wars driad, as well as an internal set of indigenous, or planetary specific currency. Are the monies based on metals, papers, fabrics, jewels and crystals, microchips, cards, or barter? Is there more than 1 monetary system to be considered for this story line? Trade? Name some Imports, exports (look at geography for natural resources to come up with these items- a farming community will trade grain and food stuffs with more industrialized areas for things like forged metal goods etc) How are goods imported and exported? (By ship/truck/train/caravan/plane etc...) Are there taxes on imports and exports? How is local; trade carried out? (Barter may exist in local or a credit ledger you pay off when harvest time is done as example) HISTORY WORLD AND LOCAL Wars of significance? Treaties of significance? Major discoveries that have altered history Natural disasters, and other events that have altered history? Are these histories directly affecting your story overtly, or simply shaping character behaviors (same as religion) If important to main story list some ways it will affect the characters and story line potentially. History of interactions between different societies? Important historical figures that influence a culture or society? In Example: religions created by, governments designed by? Laws that make differences? Metals found and forged for first time? (You get the idea here) (*Myths from religions alive or defunct/ history / and politics are always relevant to the shaping of a character’s behavior and actions!) FOR FANTASY ONLY SECTION: MAGIC: If there is magic on this world is there more than 1 type of magic (type is healing or warrior, or holy relic making, or getting from one place to another in examples) How does magic work in your world? Cast and get immediate results or cast and wait, or perhaps you need a power object to do anything at all. What are the limitations of magic? (Example magic might not work to resurrect the dead, but it might be able to recreate an arm if you lose one in a fight) What Magic Taboos exist? (I.E. Creating a Frankenstein would be a taboo in many cultures) Comments notes and story relevance outside of these peramiters to be considered in researching the particulars: TIPS FOR SUCCESS!!! Make Lists to get the basics down onto paper Research items on your list that require it! Maps: get graph paper and build your own maps or buy some D&D type maps and then do mental alterations or chop and pastes onto larger sheets to create a map to help you see where your characters are going to and coming from! No matter what genre you are writing, so pace and time laws do not change and therefore you will have to give space and time references to build a good story Genealogy: Build bloodline maps for visual bloodline traits and such for future reference, even if not mentioned in the story per say, they can be great ways to add tension based upon race and other background hints you don’t go into in depth and they make for very interesting characters! Snippets scenes Begin writing snippets of scenes using things like religion, history and all the compiled information to see how you can subtly add these things to a story line in tiny ways that make it more realistic, believable, as well as more engrossing to read. Things like getting dressed based upon clothing styles and other things add visual interest and feel to a story line. Incorporating all this information contained inside this crib sheet is not needed or a good idea to add it all into the main story line as plot and scenes. But, it is helpful in keeping characters in a focused place with focused character behaviors and interactions with other non essential characters to add depth and strength to a plot or a scene!