Anesor

I think it depends heavily on the audience you want to write this for: like mainstream, men’s adventure, YA, or capital ‘L’ literature. I know the romance genres I read wouldn’t put the emphasis on her appearance instead of her experiences and agency.  Dwelling on her appearance/not his is a concern of adolescent lack of confidence.  I know my brother (a human) didn’t settle into his appearance until nearly twenty.  Men’s adventure would glowingly dwell on her bust size regardless of her skill.  Literature might bait and switch by having her be trans or aggressively asexual.  YA would make it a lesson that there is no lack in the hero or curse in the different sizes for the three women.
Unless there’s a particular reason why being a busty elf adds to the story, that being an important aspect of her personality would be off-putting.  Mine has changed as I rolled through lifestages, but I doubt and hope whatever size it was, was not even in the top ten things that people think is important about me.  (I allow exceptions for medical like back damage or professionals like actors)  There might even be an element of fairness, if the women are to be described for eyecandy viewpoints, describe the men as well.  Like the Mandolorean actor looks real good under that beskar.  Not sure if I explained it right, but comparing bust sizes would probably get me to ditch the story if nothing else softened the bad taste. Good luck!

I think it depends heavily on the audience you want to write this for: like mainstream, men’s adventure, YA, or capital ‘L’ literature. I know the romance genres I read wouldn’t put the emphasis on her appearance instead of her experiences and agency.  Dwelling on her appearance/not his is a concern of adolescent lack of confidence.  I know my brother (a human) didn’t settle into his appearance until nearly twenty.  Men’s adventure would glowingly dwell on her bust size regardless of her skill.  Literature might bait and switch by having her be trans or aggressively asexual.  YA would make it a lesson that there is no lack in the hero or curse in the different sizes for the three women.
Unless there’s a particular reason why being a busty elf adds to the story, that being an important aspect of her personality would be off-putting.  Mine has changed as I rolled through lifestages, but I doubt and hope whatever size it was, was not even in the top ten things that people think is important about me.  (I allow exceptions for medical like back damage or professionals like actors)  There might even be an element of fairness, if the women are to be described for eyecandy viewpoints, describe the men as well.  Like the Mandolorean actor looks real good under that beskar.  Not sure if I explained it right, but comparing bust sizes would probably get me to ditch the story if nothing else softened the bad taste. Good luck!

Hi,
I took a look at both profiles, and it looks like they belong to the same person based on information in our records. Given that we only allow one account per member, what I’m going to do is remove the Kirara_Grey account as a duplicate account.
I do want to thank you for catching this one. We haven’t finished clean-up in either Inuyasha or Originals, and the older stories are rife with this sort of thing. But we really, really dislike plagiarists here on AFF, so we always are grateful to alert readers! Thank you! 

There’s only so much an automated spelling and grammar checker can accomplish; sometimes their ones and zeroes get crossed and they suggest incorrect corrections. If you know already that your work is correct in that instance, it’s easy enough to just delete the flag and move on, but what about when you’re not sure? What about when you actually start questioning whether the checker’s suggestion, wrong as it sounds, might be right?
I give you the “am I wrong or is my grammar checker an idiot?” thread. Here you can post your spelling and grammar questions and – I hope! – get answers. For clarity’s sake, try to follow this form:
The sentence: Write out your sentence in its entirety.
The problem: Describe what part of that sentence has caught your checker’s attention, the proposed correction, why you think the checker might be wrong, and if possible, why it might be right.
 
Good luck, and I hope this thread becomes a valuable resource for those of us about to go round an’ round with our grammar checkers!
 

So there are different types of magic elements, using fire for this one.
Fire, Holy fire, Hellfire.
I have always known Holy fire to be a blue or white, maybe golden? but there is also a fire that undead tend to use, it can also be a blue or white. Normal fire is …… normal but what about Hellfire?
I have been thinking about it and I feel that a deeper red, maybe a blood red would be better to make them feel different?
any thought on this one? 

Sickly green for Hellfire, definitely. Think 1960s-type neon acid green. It always induced a strong desire to tear my eyeballs out and soak them in a cooling bath, that color…  

Well it depends on what the magical combinants are. Holy for example should just burn bright no matter what and little to no smoke. Hellfire in contrast should be smokier in contrast due to its unholy nature/ Implications of its reactants. Typically hellfire in fantasy is much redder/(I’ve seen purple) WOD uses balefire ,
https://whitewolf.fandom.com/wiki/Balefire_(WTA)
Several characters of mine have died to the rather nasty stuff. Since aggravated damage is something you can’t just shake off you die in a few rounds and you can’t soak aggravated damage.
https://dresdenfiles.fandom.com/wiki/Hellfire
Hellfire in fantasy is either bright green, green or more sickly colors to denote the hazard its entails. Sure, its more destructive but you’re also dabbling into things that at the minimum puts your self/ the soul at risk. No matter what color you use. Note that hellfire, is essentially highlighting and magnifying  the worst aspects of fire itself without the positive ones to mellow it out. Its description should reflect that at the very least.
People panic at the smell of smoke, or the first flickers of fire. Hellfire should be magnified 10x Cause the spirit even subconsciously should be hammering that primal part of the brain screaming GTFO NOW!
Undead should use more phantasmal fire. Think corpse lights or willow wisps. ghostly fire may not burn as hot as regular fire but it should be just as nasty if you get hit with it. maybe illuminating the person’s bones/spirit while its affecting the body. Maybe, even making the unfortunate person phantasmal themselves as their essence burns.

Increasing testosterone, estrogen, and progesterone can increase a woman's libido but can also create a she-monster from the deepest depths of Tartarus lol being the recipient of HRT I can tell you it's a toss up as to what you get lol

Speaking from the increasingly uncomfortable vantage point of being female, let’s toss Logic on its long-suffering head, please, because Logic is standing there with hands on hips and insisting that sex is 90% mental for most women. If the head isn’t into it, it’s not ever going to be earthshattering, or wonderful, or even remotely addictive. Yes, hormones are involved, but not in the way you seem to think.
While estrogen, progesterone, and especially testosterone have an effect on causing a woman to desire sex, increasing those hormones doesn’t have the end result of increasing sexual desire. Estrogen makes you look feminine, and progesterone is essential to carry a pregnancy to term. Testosterone can affect sexual desire, and yes, women make and use testosterone. Increasing it would however have some nasty side effects, unless you like very masculine, hairy, infertile women.
Unless you want to dabble in the feel-good neurotransmitters like serotonin, which makes you happy, or dopamine, which makes you feel good, or oxytocin, which seems to induce cuddling, I’m not seeing a way to use hormones in any logical manner. There isn’t a way to medically/neurochemically/biologically make this happen without taking that leap in the fantasy this truly is, and try to create something that will allow readers to suspend disbelief long enough to not want to skillet into insensibility both your character and you for creating him.

A)One of the darkest aspects of Harry Potter’s world is that love potions are readily abundant and heavily used to the point there had to be several wizards/witches who had to develop cures or other tricks to circumvent.
D&D/ Pathfinder/ D20 systems have charm magic which forces the afflicted to view you, your words and actions in the most favorable ways barring blatantly suicidal orders or outright harmful ones. Aka. Best friend forevers at least until the effect wears off. The Bigger Badder version with a prison record Is Dominate Person/ Monster in which the effect is outright mindcontrol. Both of these completely compromise a victim’s free will and belong to Coercion.  The former implies a widespread date rape culture in which witches are the targeted demographic if by the sheer variety young witches are given access to is any indication.
The latter is one of the reasons why the horny bard trope is so abundant.
There’s no way to mince words, Any method of enforcing your desires on others is a moral event horizon. They’re a villain.
 

Thanks for taking the time to write to us to express your concerns.
While we know the subject matter of this story isn't everyone's cup of tea, it isn't against the Terms of Service nor is it illegal. We are well aware of what we can do and not do legally. As long as it is properly labeled, it will remain on the site. This website has always been and will continue to be free of censorship. The option you have as a reader is to click past it to a story that's more to your liking.

Title 18, Part I, Chapter 110, Section 2256 of the US Code defines what constitutes child pornography in the United States, the country where AFF resides. The key part of this definition is paragraph 8, including subparagraph A, which states in part: "'child pornography' means any visual depiction … where the production of such visual depiction involves the use of a minor..." The link to it is here:
*http://www4.law.cornell.edu/uscode/18/2256.html
Also, the Supreme Court took on such a case, and their decision is here:
*http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/cgi-bin/getcase.pl?court=US&navby=case&vol=000&invol=00-795

Child pornography is only defined as a visual thing as in pictures and such, not dealing with stories. That is what we go by until a law is changed in the US. Though you, and many others, may find it offensive, it's legal right now and per our guidelines on maintaining free speech, will remain until such time as the laws of the land that hosts AFF are changed.
Below is a link about our no censorship policy...
http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/19094-site-news-1-9-11/

it still shows for me for Android

 
note 15 million downloaded from this site?

Hmm, my timing is off again, having some RL agency issues presently.  I’m a firm maybe, likely after the 1st.

Hmm, my timing is off again, having some RL agency issues presently.  I’m a firm maybe, likely after the 1st.

Hmm, my timing is off again, having some RL agency issues presently.  I’m a firm maybe, likely after the 1st.

Hmm, my timing is off again, having some RL agency issues presently.  I’m a firm maybe, likely after the 1st.

Seconding using terms from World of Darkness (werewolf the apocolypse,and vampire the masquerade) at least for ideas. Those systems also provide alternates, like their darker are Sabbat. Since you are doing normal and darker variant, that might get to be a lot of custom vocab, is the lifestage that different dark or light to require separate names?.
I saw a recommendation for fantasy writers to limit your custom words to one page.  The words may be second nature to you, but readers get annoyed if they have to flip back and forth (had comments in a critique group too on this, and mine were greek derived)
For elder vamps of a coven, I’ve also seen Sire (also used in Buffy/Angel, which is more well-known than WoD) 
I’m personally not sure I could take Latinate terms for ‘wolves or vamps seriously. Not everything old and respected is roman, and taking these names from another language might make it fresh.  Alpha/beta/omega is already used in so many non-shifter stories, using it is a two-edged sword. [And to switch genres, do the latin-sounding Sith lords’ names in Star Wars make you laugh like me? Sidious is intimidating, Vader is germanic father which is strange for Palpatine to give him, and Tyranus is asking for scatological mocking.  Sith names just keep getting less intimidating: Lumis is especially humor inducing: look out for Lord Light!]  If I wanted a diferent flavor. I’d go old english or really ancient like Egypt or Asia.

Contrasts also work great.
If the world is pessimistic but the character is staunchly optimistic. Or in a world where everyone doubts themselves. That one character just straight up loves themselves. Humanity is so wonderfully diverse.
having characters answer existential stuff can provide that blissful breath of life that makes your character far more real.
A microcosm in an macrocosm.
Do we shape existence as existence shapes us?
Are we alone in the universe because we perceive ourselves to be alone in the universe?
What if death is as limited as life?
The question of I
The ramifications of the meaning of life being different for everyone
What if there is no glory in war?
The massive implications of single individuals decisions helping shape history. 
Why is apathy worse than death?
Etc...

How about things like struggles with addiction (Smoking, drugs, alcohol, gambling), is not good spouse but is a great friend and/or parent. Someone struggling to make ends meet yet is terrible with money that opens them up to exploitation. A crooked cop that believes the system is fucked anyway so they’re just going to look after themselves (or perhaps some loved ones). A soldier that enjoys killing a bit too much, but has learned to channel it to the battlefield.

Ah, you’ve stumbled on to the great mystery of fiction with any relationship, because there is no true answer. It depends on the writer’s intentions and the specific characters. You seem to have already done some thought, and THAT fits these characters, Another story may have a different answer.
Try not to worry about how it will seem to others, the first person you need to please is yourself.  (And a writer can do either extreme if set up right)

What you said makes sense. Characters are people, and people are not the same. I know a couple who started off as a one night stand, and have been together for twenty years. I know another couple that held off for years, and then broke up after having sex. My cousin and his wife rarely argue over anything, and all my neighbors do is argue.
I need to think in terms of what is right for the characters, and not worry about what anyone else has to say. 
Thank you. 

Well said! It’s tragic you were discouraged before, but it’s good to see you’re powering through and coming back to your art. 
It’s great to write for yourself, but don’t be too hard on yourself for keeping your audience in mind too. Of course you can’t please everybody: some people out there will never be pleased no matter what. But you can get to know your particular audience, and what appeals to them so you can have fun playing with their emotions. 

But for the sake of staying on topic… Of course I agree with the people who said it depends on the characters and the situation. I personally don’t mind having chars jump into bed immediately, as long as there’s a damn good reason and it makes sense to the plot. Personally if I have a promiscuous main, I’ll have sex from the start, sometimes even with the main love interest, but if you do that, you need to balance it with a heap of conflict between them to make that initial roll in the proverbial sack interesting. 
Good luck with your story, and don’t hesitate to ask more questions! 

Thank you all so much. Your responses made me realize that I had been thinking more in terms of readers, when I should have been thinking solely on what was right for the characters. That was what had been causing my confusion.
The bad thing is, I broke a promise I made to myself without realizing it. I gave up writing years ago because of reviews. I promised myself that this time, I was writing for me, and wasn't going to worry about pleasing readers. It is impossible to please them all, no matter what you write, or how how good you are.

I’m amused that my thread about flaws turned into a thread about redemption. Just to clarify what I meant by ‘redeemable’, it’s not so much that they kill some one and go off and pray it away. I meant more balance within their ongoing traits rather than a pivotal redeeming event in the story (which is great too). For example, he’s a killer, but he’s also really good at flower arrangements. He’s got a major flaw, but he’s also got a major strength that makes him likeable despite his flaw. 
My interest in this topic hasn’t waned mostly because my love for ugliness is going strong and I’m aware it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. I’ve gotten more than enough reviews that told me so. “OMG U NED 2 MAKE UR CHARS LIKEABLE STOOPID!!” And yeah. Of course I do. Mr. Murderous whoreyface is totally likeable, so I dunno what they’re talking about. 
As much as I intend to keep my chars flawed when I wanna, being aware of the expectations of the audience and finding some semblance of balance helps sometimes. 

Ah, you’ve stumbled on to the great mystery of fiction with any relationship, because there is no true answer. It depends on the writer’s intentions and the specific characters. You seem to have already done some thought, and THAT fits these characters, Another story may have a different answer.
Try not to worry about how it will seem to others, the first person you need to please is yourself.  (And a writer can do either extreme if set up right)