BronxWench

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  1. Like
    BronxWench got a reaction from pittwitch in The Direct Address Comma Rule   
    I am ancient enough to remember all sorts of rules of grammar and punctuation that have gone by the wayside, it seems. Such as using a comma at the end of dialogue, before closing the quotation and appending attribution, a convention that is also mysteriously absent in the archive.
    Even if our children aren't actually being taught any of these things, there are numerous websites where one can self educate. Google is our friend. Failing that, one can real a book, an actual published book that has been printed and sold. It will be a revelation to see punctuation properly applied.
  2. Like
    BronxWench got a reaction from pittwitch in The Direct Address Comma Rule   
    Or if they haven't managed to read an actual book? The sad part is that this is not limited to the younger members, either. There are a great many members old enough to have learned these rules, but who simply can't be bothered, or so it seems.
  3. Like
    BronxWench reacted to pittwitch in The Direct Address Comma Rule   
    Bronxie! That was my next sticking point. Geez, how can anyone call themselves a writer if they totally ignore all the rules of writing?
  4. Like
    BronxWench got a reaction from pittwitch in The Direct Address Comma Rule   
    I am ancient enough to remember all sorts of rules of grammar and punctuation that have gone by the wayside, it seems. Such as using a comma at the end of dialogue, before closing the quotation and appending attribution, a convention that is also mysteriously absent in the archive.
    Even if our children aren't actually being taught any of these things, there are numerous websites where one can self educate. Google is our friend. Failing that, one can real a book, an actual published book that has been printed and sold. It will be a revelation to see punctuation properly applied.
  5. Like
    BronxWench reacted to pittwitch in The Direct Address Comma Rule   
    This has been driving me nuts in the Archive. I learned this rule as a ten year old kid so I now question WTH our kids are being taught. This comma makes all the difference in the world in a sentence. Let's demonstrate!
    "Let's eat, Grandma!" means that we want Grandma to put the grub on the table.
    "Let's eat Grandma!" means that we have suddenly become cannibals and Grandma IS the grub.
    A lowly comma, long neglected by lazy writers, completely changes the context!
    It also applies to terms of endearment or titles:
    "Yes, Master," murmured the slave.
    "Good night, my sweet," whispered the dom.
    If even one person changes their evil ways, I shall rejoice with dancing, dearies!
  6. Like
    BronxWench got a reaction from BloodValkyrie in I'm new, and I have a question.   
    Hi!
    Where it is right now, in Movies-Misc > Crossovers is actually not correct. This is a catch-all category for fandoms that have no category of their own. When deciding where a crossover fiction goes, we tend to look at the main setting of the story.
    From looking at it, is it going to be set in the general universe of Bram Stoker's Dracula? If yes, then it really does belong in Movies > 1 through F > Dracula.
    If it's set in the general universe of Beetlejuice, then it goes in Movies > 1 through F > Beetlejuice.
    The good news is that you can move it easily yourself, and all of your associated data moves with it.
  7. Like
    BronxWench got a reaction from BloodValkyrie in I'm new, and I have a question.   
    Hi!
    Moderators don't have the ability to move stories from one category to another, but if you can give me the link for your story, I can take a look and see if I can figure out what happened. Our tech admin was moving stories in the Transformers category today as part of the archive clean-up project, so if your story was there, I can explain why it has been placed where it was. If not, I might be able to help figure out what happened.
  8. Like
    BronxWench got a reaction from Cuzosu in Bottom's in Slashfiction...   
    I prefer my characters to switch roles, and none of my characters is exclusively a top or bottom. You're absolutely right in it being both unrealistic and outright boring. I couldn't enjoy just one position for the rest of my life, so why would I write that?
    And emotional depth is what makes a character memorable. Men feel emotion, although certain societies expect men to pretend that they don't. Granted, I draw the line at the ever-sobbing perennial bottom (if I cried every time I had sex, I'd worry!), but I applaud you for letting your male characters show emotion.
    As far as the little whiners who want their uke/seme pairings that never vary, I say let them read a good boy-love manga since I'm quite sure they need pretty pictures to get the point of what they're reading anyway.
  9. Like
    BronxWench got a reaction from RogueMudblood in Trying to find a fic.   
    As we state, over and over,
    You may feel free to ask about the author, but do not solicit hard copies of other people's work here.
  10. Like
    BronxWench got a reaction from JayDee in The A.C.R.O.N.Y.M. game   
    Blithering Idiot Squirms Madly Under The Hose
    F R A T E R N I T Y
  11. Like
    BronxWench got a reaction from Raymy in The A.C.R.O.N.Y.M. game   
    Several Tentative Authors Texting Urgently To Organize Rampant Yaoi.
    B R O C C O L I
  12. Like
    BronxWench got a reaction from JayDee in The A.C.R.O.N.Y.M. game   
    Baffled Little Underagers Nervously Dare Emulate Ragingly Unrepentant Snape Shippers
    A B S O L U T E
  13. Like
    BronxWench got a reaction from Raymy in The A.C.R.O.N.Y.M. game   
    Several Tentative Authors Texting Urgently To Organize Rampant Yaoi.
    B R O C C O L I
  14. Like
    BronxWench got a reaction from Raymy in The A.C.R.O.N.Y.M. game   
    Seriously Urbane Role Player Requires Intelligent Sexy Enemy
    M A S T I C A T E
  15. Like
    BronxWench reacted to BoredStraight in Anyone participating in NaNoWriMo this month?   
    Hi all!!
    Not sure if there's another thread about this but I was just wondering if anyone else is participating in NaNoWriMo this month? It's my first year attempting it and with a full time job, 4 month old son, and 0 inspiration I probably won't make it but I'm going to give it a shot! Who's with me?
  16. Like
    BronxWench reacted to botticelliangel in Anyone participating in NaNoWriMo this month?   
    Yay nano! It's my first time attempting it too. Good luck!
  17. Like
    BronxWench reacted to BoredStraight in Anyone participating in NaNoWriMo this month?   
    Good luck ladies! And congrats on finishing two years in a row BronxWench! As for me it's the 8th already and I have 0 words so far
  18. Like
    BronxWench reacted to BoredStraight in Anyone participating in NaNoWriMo this month?   
    Did you finish BronxWench? I didn't this year.... not even close. But oh well, it got me back into writing regularly again after a loooooooong break so it was worth it!
  19. Like
    BronxWench reacted to KerantliDreamer in Anyone participating in NaNoWriMo this month?   
    I missed this thread, all because I didn't check anywhere during NaNo.
    I managed to get 50k on the 17th, very silly early too - 1:10am GMT time.
    I have the bad habit of not leaving much in the way of plot holes, I don't keep my inner editor shut up in a cupboard or she gets VERY shouty and derails my plots more than what my muse does!
  20. Like
    BronxWench got a reaction from Danyealle in We just keep chugging along!   
    ::dryly:: We're hardly a short-lived fanfiction website. We've managed to stick around for over ten years because our owner actually understands what's needed to run a site and keep it vital.
  21. Like
    BronxWench reacted to Cuzosu in Funny Typos   
    While I'm remembering it.... I don't remember where this one was, but when I found it.... *dies laughing*
    "What are you talking about? He's obliviously a girl."
  22. Like
    BronxWench got a reaction from Danyealle in We just keep chugging along!   
    ::dryly:: We're hardly a short-lived fanfiction website. We've managed to stick around for over ten years because our owner actually understands what's needed to run a site and keep it vital.
  23. Like
    BronxWench got a reaction from Raymy in Jokes   
    Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet.
    Here's what happened:
    Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room. "He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?"
    I put my best lizard-healer statement on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do. "Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"
    Oh my gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies."
    "What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!" I was equally outraged.
    "Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I accused my wife.
    "Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired. (I actually think she said this sarcastically!)
    "No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together).
    "Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.
    "Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me. (Again with the sarcasm, you think?)
    By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it. "Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."
    "OH, gross!", they shrieked.
    "Well, isn't THAT just great! What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know. (I really do think she was being snotty here, too. don't you?)
    We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later. "We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.
    "It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified.
    "Do something, Dad!" my son urged.
    "Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gingerly tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.
    "Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)
    "Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly.
    We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.
    "I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.)
    The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.
    "What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.
    "Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"
    I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside. "Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.
    "Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um....um....masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife. "Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr.Cameron."
    We were silent, absorbing this. "So Ernie's just...just...excited," my wife offered.
    "Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.
    More silence.
    Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.
    "What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.
    Tears were now running down her face. "It's just...that... I'm picturing you pulling on its...its...teeny little..." She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.
    "That's enough," I warned. We thanked the veterinarian and hurriedly bundled the lizards and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.
    "I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me.
    "Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.
    2 - lizards - $140...
    1 - Cage - $50...
    Trip to the Vet - $30...
    Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's wacker -.....Priceless...
  24. Like
    BronxWench got a reaction from Raymy in Jokes   
    Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet.
    Here's what happened:
    Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room. "He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?"
    I put my best lizard-healer statement on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do. "Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"
    Oh my gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies."
    "What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!" I was equally outraged.
    "Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I accused my wife.
    "Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired. (I actually think she said this sarcastically!)
    "No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together).
    "Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.
    "Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me. (Again with the sarcasm, you think?)
    By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it. "Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."
    "OH, gross!", they shrieked.
    "Well, isn't THAT just great! What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know. (I really do think she was being snotty here, too. don't you?)
    We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later. "We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.
    "It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified.
    "Do something, Dad!" my son urged.
    "Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gingerly tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.
    "Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)
    "Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly.
    We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.
    "I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.)
    The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.
    "What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.
    "Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"
    I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside. "Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.
    "Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um....um....masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife. "Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr.Cameron."
    We were silent, absorbing this. "So Ernie's just...just...excited," my wife offered.
    "Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.
    More silence.
    Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.
    "What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.
    Tears were now running down her face. "It's just...that... I'm picturing you pulling on its...its...teeny little..." She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.
    "That's enough," I warned. We thanked the veterinarian and hurriedly bundled the lizards and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.
    "I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me.
    "Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.
    2 - lizards - $140...
    1 - Cage - $50...
    Trip to the Vet - $30...
    Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's wacker -.....Priceless...
  25. Like
    BronxWench reacted to KerantliDreamer in Mentality   
    Never expected this to turn into a hot topic!
    And was never suggesting a good proportion of authors on here were bloody thirsty socio-paths
    Maybe a bit tapped in the head, but I think that goes for a good 99.9% of Authors anyway (I know I am)