BronxWench

Word of advice to any Wall Street private equity firm thinking about this potential buyout? Do not fuck with the All-Father.  

Word of advice to any Wall Street private equity firm thinking about this potential buyout? Do not fuck with the All-Father.  

Yeah, I’m going to say it’d be the otherway around. You’d think it would be like wolves descneding on some old dude but then you realize Old Saint Nick has one eye.

Started off as a conversation with a coworker about the likely OSHA violations (for Santa’s Workshop).

Hm. Bitter, jaded, and sarcastic… Perfect!  

It sounds like they want a bit of world building or stage setting up front.

I might manage to finally write Meaningful Gifts this year, so you might have smut from me before the year ends.  Fingers crossed, everyone.

Aw.  Well, cursed internet!  More time to write?

Only for long enough to write that status and this reply! Hoping to be back more after Christmas though.

Glad you’re back!

I remember asking my grandmother how much of a seasoning she used, and she cupped her hand and said, ”This much.” Drove my mother nuts, but I totally understood it. I just had her measure it out and pour it into my hand. Worked like a charm!

Funnily enough, dinner prep is something I rarely bother to measure for. I cook by taste and by eye. mostly, but then again, I all but grew up in restaurant kitchens. Baking, however, requires very precise measurements and perfect temperature control. Baking is ALL science.  
 

Funnily enough, dinner prep is something I rarely bother to measure for. I cook by taste and by eye. mostly, but then again, I all but grew up in restaurant kitchens. Baking, however, requires very precise measurements and perfect temperature control. Baking is ALL science.  
 

To measure or not to measure, that’s the debate    Some dishes, this ain’t required, like number of bacon strips to cut up for the scrambled eggs.  Some flavoring ingredients, like cinnamon or vanilla or even garlic, can be easily increased in measure, so for french toast, I’ll eyeball it.  That soda mix I made, that required the syringes.  And the rocket propellant, that required the digital scale down to the milligram precision.

“Looks about right” is really a unit of measure, really, I swear

I remember asking my grandmother how much of a seasoning she used, and she cupped her hand and said, ”This much.” Drove my mother nuts, but I totally understood it. I just had her measure it out and pour it into my hand. Worked like a charm!

Funnily enough, dinner prep is something I rarely bother to measure for. I cook by taste and by eye. mostly, but then again, I all but grew up in restaurant kitchens. Baking, however, requires very precise measurements and perfect temperature control. Baking is ALL science.  
 

You’re talking to somebody who spray painted a kitchen aid mixer and labeled it “NOT FOR FOOD” – it’s sitting in the garage between uses.

See you get it!

Funny enough, when I was super crazy on the soda habit, tried making it myself, pretty pleasant.  Was measuring out “essential oils” for flavor by the quarter millimeter, so I turned to syringes to measure this stuff out.  (Way better than trying a “measuring spoon”.)

You made me laugh so <3
 
Now this might sound weird but I do use lab equipment in the kitchen. Since food preparation is essentially applied chemistry.
Beakers are surprisingly handy for measuring spices.

Well, suppose you could turn lemons into lemonade… but if you tried to “taste test” it with the local pets, you might get locked up on animal cruelty.  So, try burning it beneath a beaker of water, see how many calories it contains by measuring the temperature rise?

There was no vegan turkey at our home. There was a 21 pound turkey, however, and it was GOOD.  

yes! That’s what bothers me the most over six hours of effort, not a phone call or hell even a fricking text. oh hey I brought fake turkey!
 

There was no vegan turkey at our home. There was a 21 pound turkey, however, and it was GOOD.