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Sleeping naked is the shit when you’re young. Then, one day, you’re middle-aged with a cat who likes sleeping between the sheets and has frigid toes, and you start second guessing everything. Heiferlump, by the way, wasn’t just thawing out her frosted toebeans on my bare ass. She also kept wiping her cold, wet nose on the ticklish spot between my thigh and cheek every time I dozed off. I’m not ashamed to say I committed the unforgivable crime of yeeting the baby off the bed. I’m not sorry. Kid needs some fuzzy socks or something.

Aside from my paranoia as an adult, my parents’ homophobia is likely the only reason they haven’t figured out I’m bi. Hearing your teenage girl singing the chorus of Spill the Wine as “Do I dig that girl? Heh!” probably should have made them question things. Fortunately, Heiferlump just thinks I’m embarrassing; her reaction to me singing is to roll over, grunt, fart, and go back to sleep with her paws over her nose. Cats don’t let you get a big head. (Yeah. Almost forty and I just figured out I’ve been singing that wrong all these years. Freud would be clicking his heels with joy over that slip. And almost forty and I only noticed now that autocorrect cut my age the first time. Ugh.)

"will-o'-the-wisp happenstance acclivity" or "brown library movement of good fortune compulsion " or "guesstimate happenstance door " Are these spam bots, or just trying to come up with some old style weekly prompts?

Beware the Ides of March!

Nothing like a trip to the veterinary ER to make a night interesting… Long story made short, Freyja had an abscess of her left anal gland. How did we know this? She decided to pass blood. While I’m not particularly squeamish, nor prone to the vapors when confronted with blood, this is my baby girl. She is not allowed to bleed, or have pain, or do any of the things that will make me want to strangle a handy god or three. She is an innocent furbaby, and deserves nothing but joy. But this at least was something that can be dealt with, and she is now home, loopy on pain meds and wearing the Inflatable Collar of Great Annoyance. She would like everyone to know that she lives with exceedingly evil humans, but we will be forgiven with sufficient treatos.

Always love your pets. You never know when you’ll lose them.

And for those of us in the northeast, here comes Snowmageddon Part 2, beginning Sunday morning and featuring blizzard conditions, winds of up to 55 miles per hour, and accumulations of 18 to 24 inches. For everyone affected, stay home, stay safe and stay warm!