Oh, certainly, on both counts. Deny or shooting down the idea of writing rape definitely downplays or dismisses the reality of it. As you've both said, it happens. Humanity is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination; it's ugly and disgusting and, at its worst, can be downright appalling. One only needs to look at the treatment of POWs in war, the homeless veterans, and, indeed, the treatment of everyone in between to see that. We are a hostile, disturbing race. If one cannot express that nature, in any form it takes, then what is the point of it all?
Well, there goes my defense... Honestly, officer, the books told me it was okay!
Purely pornographic depictions of rape, without offence intended, GG, to me, fall under a different category all the same. But no, even there, I wouldn't call it lazy or otherwise. One has to formulate and write it in a way that is just enough to draw the readers in, but not enough to turn them away. I haven't done purely porn, so I only have my experiences to fall back on here (feel free to throw tomatoes)... It's been hard for me, probably because I don't write it, to craft a convincing scene while keeping it just disturbing enough without overdoing it. (I think I had you read it, CR, as Beta...but I could be mistaken...)... And I'm still worried I'm pushing too far... (but that's what A/Ns are for, right? And tags...)
"Oh, YEAH!" the Koolaid man cried, smashing through the wall. "Now suck on me straw!"
And to end…
Certainly, there's no laziness in it.
While I would say advancing character or plot (or romance) is something it should do, having the gratuitous rape scene to remind the reader of the world, to shock them, or even remind them of the characters in this world, is just as valid.
Am I rambling again?