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AndyMesselton's Review Replies and Story Discussion Thread
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Mind posting a link?
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AndyMesselton's Review Replies and Story Discussion Thread
AndyMesselton replied to AndyMesselton's topic in General
Wow, that’s a really long review! I love the enthusiasm, and I am really glad you enjoyed the story despite being unfamiliar with Skyrim itself. I wasn’t actually describing Shadowgreen Cavern, but rather just a place I made up. The places you can find Spriggans in the game are all quite similar for the most part, so I’m very pleased I managed to recreate the feel of one of them so well. Thank you for reviewing and being so positive. A ten-thousand or so word story like this one takes ages to write and then edit, and I really appreciate you letting me know what you thought. I have a few other stories on the site, so please feel free to check them out and let me know your take on them if any interest you. -
AndyMesselton's Review Replies and Story Discussion Thread
AndyMesselton replied to AndyMesselton's topic in General
Nature’s Revenge From InBrightestDay on July 15, 2019 So this is the first of your stories I've read, and I have to say it was very well done! I've never actually played any of the Elder Scrolls games, but you did an incredible job describing everything, giving a very clear idea of what Aela looked like as well as what a Spriggan looks like. I even found out, when looking up Spriggans, that you did a good job describing shadowgreen cavern! It's cool that you used an actual location from the game. I honestly felt really bad for Aela through a lot of this, given the stuff you detailed about her being rejected by the Dragonborn. I haven't played Skyrim, but in other RPGs I have a real problem dropping NPCs I've worked with specifically because I tend to get attached to them, and this kind of runs with that, actually showing what happens to an NPC emotionally when the PC decides not to stay with her anymore. Of course, now, if I ever play Skyrim, I'm going to feel obligated not to drop Aela to prevent something really bad from happening to her. Speaking of something really bad happening to her, the sexual content itself was also well done. True, this is technically mind control, but if it hadn't been, then we'd have Aela screaming and crying through this, which would have been way worse. Actually, my first worry was when you mentioned the Spriggan's phallus was made out of wood, and I thought "Oh dear God the splinters!" Thankfully you didn't go that route, and instead had Aela enjoy it, with nothing more severe than some bruises, and the whole thing was pretty hot. So yeah, a very well-written story, so much so that even someone who's never played the game can enjoy it! - Yesterday
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I think I got a little too fixated on the “starbound” part of Starbound Glory. It’s pretty cool to see a story about the age of sail, though. It was really cool seeing the chain shot make an appearance. I always love seeing the specialized cannon ammunition, and chain shot in particular made a memorable appearance in Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl (in the scene where the Black Pearl takes out the Interceptor’s main mast), so it was awesome seeing it here. And, of course, as Mythbusters showed, hitting a person with it has rather gory results. I think there’s some sort of ingrained “Oooooh” reaction whenever something bad happens to someone’s genitalia. It’s almost a reflex. That is the advantage of a collection of short stories; you don’t have to explain everything at once, and can expand on certain details as you go. It’s actually almost subversive. Charlotte spends almost the entire restof the story as a total badass, composed and in control at all times, so seeing her make a bit of a goofy mistake here was pretty funny. It does also help to humanize her, and of course makes sense in context, since the beds on a ship, even in the captain’s cabin, are inevitably going to be rather small, making it easier for accidents like that to happen.
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Same here; granted there are a shortage of fanfics like this, also I’d add Aria to the group just because keeping her alive as a broken slave would be a worse punishment for her then him killing her
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I’m not sure myself, but Speedy has a Facebook link on their profile, where updates and other information is posted. You might find out there if the story is on hiatus, or if there was a sequel.
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Do you know if this story is complete or not? Or maybe has a sequel?
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Never mind I found it on fanfiction somehow got these two sites mixed up.
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Thanks for all the feedback, folks! Some of these ideas are great. (I really want to use “Hell in a Handbasket” some time.)
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Yay! Another review for Charlotte and the crew in Tales of the Starbound Glory, this time from @InBrightestDay. From InBrightestDay on July 14, 2019 Okay, full disclosure, given some of your other stories and the name of the ship...I actually thought this was going to be about space pirates before I started reading. You still have your flair for action, and the attack on the French ship is visceral, not to mention that bit where, while disabling Abraham's hands, Charlotte ends up slashing him in a very...personal place. He had it coming, but holy shit did that make me cringe. Related to that, when Charlotte throws him out onto the deck, all the other crewmen attack him. While I'm sure they know he's a perennial screwup, they don't necessarily know what he's done this time, only that their captain saw fit to punish him violently, and that's all they need to know. I bring this up because while there were female pirates (Anne Bonny being one of the most famous), they were a definite minority, to the point that the ship's contract sometimes outright forbade women from being onboard. Charlotte's male crew, meanwhile, is fiercely loyal to her, and I'd imagine there's a really interesting story about how she won their respect. Charlotte felt her heart racing. She didn't understand. Not completely. This actually made me laugh, because that was kind of my reaction. I mean, Isolde was almost raped, and then was in the mood really fast. I'm not complaining, mind you, since the sexual content was quite well done and pretty hot. I did also like that bit where Charlotte attempts to flip across Isolde and ends up missing the bed and falling on the floor. I think we've all misjudged where the bed ends at some point in our lives, so that made me laugh. *** Okay, full disclosure, given some of your other stories and the name of the ship...I actually thought this was going to be about space pirates before I started reading. Lol. I certainly thought about making it space pirates, but a certain someone, I thought, would enjoy it as historical pirates. I certainly did writing it. . You still have your flair for action, and the attack on the French ship is visceral, not to mention that bit where, while disabling Abraham's hands, Charlotte ends up slashing him in a very...personal place. He had it coming, but holy shit did that make me cringe. Related to that, when Charlotte throws him out onto the deck, all the other crewmen attack him. While I'm sure they know he's a perennial screwup, they don't necessarily know what he's done this time, only that their captain saw fit to punish him violently, and that's all they need to know. I'm glad my action scenes still have the attention capturing hold. Lol. I enjoyed writing it in the quick, rapid pacing with bloody violence, despite the research into cannon fire and the chain shot. I'm glad it made you cringe, it was definitely meant to. As for the crew, I definitely wanted to show that most are unconditionally loyal to Charlotte. Always a few whi would be problems. This so that eventually i might be able to expland as they come to. I did also like that bit where Charlotte attempts to flip across Isolde and ends up missing the bed and falling on the floor. I think we've all misjudged where the bed ends at some point in our lives, so that made me laugh. Lol. Yep. I read somewhere that mistakes work for a first time scene and really felt that it works in terms of Charlotte's character. Lol.
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Okay, I had to show up just to call attention to that title! Although that one’s kind of amazing too, in an almost poetic way.
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Jeez, you put a lot of thought into this, @InvidiaRed Next time I need to name a story, Imma steal your brain for an hour.
- Last week
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A Price For Freedom Terrible Mother Aspiring Teen Wow!Mom Going For A Twofer Ruin Your Own Life Mother Drugs Are Bad But I’d Rather Live Where The hell Is Child Protective Services Between Cock And A Hard Place Hell In A Handbasket In Times Like These Prison Doesn’t Sound So Bad Let Freedom Cum Gay Porn Is Better Than Death Be A Better Parent Or How I Did Gay Porn To Escape Ungrateful Bitch I Suck At This Cum Doesn’t Taste So Bad No Cooch For Miles Good Thing There’s Viagra Cause Y’all Are Ugly As Hell Pussy Desert : Hell For A Straight Guy Are You There God? Cause You Fucked Me Over My Gayporn Escapades Why Yes Son I Do Suck Dick Better And Here’s Why I Got Plenty Of Practice Pearldiver At A Sausagefest Nothing But Sausage As Far As The Eye Can See But All I Want Is Clam Beggars Can’t Be Choosers Die Bitch Die Or How I Found The Cheapest Granny Farm To Send You To Escaping Perdition Cock Was My Salvation Perdition or Purgatory No Officer She OD’ed So It Isn’t Murder Gay Porn Or Crippling Debt Its Okay To Let Druggies Drown In Their Self Imposed Misery The Adventures Of A Self Made Orphan Blood Is Thicker Than Water But Cum Is Thicker Than Blood What Do You Mean That Bitch Fell Down The Stairs Salvation by Vice Viceful Virtue The Stairway To Heaven Is Covered In Cum Apologies to My Ass Prostate Punching For Punitive Damages Incurred by Inheriting Debt No Girlfriend For Me Just Ass As Far As I Can See
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I think you mean "Post tenebras Lux" By "CJ black" -
This story is usually in Issei's POV but if needed you can show the POV of the other characters In the beginning it's in Rias POV a few weeks after she made Akeno her queen she and Akeno was visiting Japan with a member of Sirzechs peerage watching them they hear some screams and Rias runs to see what's happening a stray devil has attacked a group of humans the member of Sirzechs peerage quickly took it out leaving only the humans (a child near death and his parents how are hurt but will live) Rias overheard the parents begging to the child to hang on until they find help for him and she saw the desperate loos on their faces as if if the child died their Hope's and dreams would end with him she told them that she could save him and told them what would happen to him they didn't care as long as their son lived Rias not sure what evil piece to use she decided that he would be her pawn (he didn't look like a rook, bishop, or a knight to her) and to her surprise he needed all her pawns Issei grow up between living with his parents and living with Rias and her family he had help learning all he needed to know and how to fight from Rias and her family he unlocks his sacred gear to Rias's family surprise it was the boosted gear Even at a young age Issei decided that he wanted a harem and Rias and Akeno was fighting for the position of his number 1 girl when they hit puberty they started to use their bodies to get a upper hand on the other (the farthest the went was letting Issei grope their growing breasts which led Issei getting his Balance breaker after accidentally poking Rias's nipple When Rias got Koneko she and Issei had the same relationship as when she met him in canon but warmed up to him more quickly trying to get him to not leave her out When Rias and her the rest of her peerage moved to the human world Sirzechs had Issei's remodeled like canon and like canon only the women in Rias's peerage moved in with Rias taking Issei's room for her and himself (like canon others go sleep there with him) Rias's family one condition was for her to go to school in the human world was no sex with Issei until he entered high school Rias was his first Akeno was his second Koneko was his third but she was forced to wait until she entered high school Other girls in his harem are Asia Xenovia Irina Rosswisse Ravel (she met him when they were younger and developed a crush on him) Kuroka (when she joins she loves having sex with Issei and Koneko during threesomes Koneko didn't want to at first until Kuroka convinced Koneko that men love see sisters doing sexual stuff together) Issei is usually the POV when there is sex but if you want the girls to be the POV it only when they are having lesbian sex Anyone else in the harem is up to you
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Chapter 14 (Straight to Hell) is posted after a very long hiatus.
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I really like @CloverReef “Hug it out” idea. It sounds like something the parent would actually say but totally fits the nature of the story idea.
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the fic starts off with alien plant women converting ivy into one of them then they spread to the rest of gotham most characters seemed to be female
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Could we have two new band categories: Pantera and Skid Row, please?
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Hope you’re feeling better, Mal and taking it easy. Loved the conclusion to Taylor’s punishment, and what I think it’s leading to for Taylor’s future If I’m right, Ari wanted something to do and it seemed like she might be getting more than she bargained for. So definitely can’t wait for the next one!
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I actually like “Tension” as well.
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The Sibling Predicament A Steamy Solution Hug It Out Though I do like “Tension” because it’s nice and simple. So if you don’t really like it you can just use the word, or the word ‘tense’ combined with something else.
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BITCHED! (Naruto/AU!Hinata fic), Review and Discussion Thread
Guest replied to modeac's topic in General
I'd vote for option A, personally, if only because from whay I've read from the story so far, I don't quite buy Naturo willing to admit that he loves crazy Hinata-chan, yet. Maybe give that a bit more time, that's my opinion. Loving Sakura the Pink Viper, though. An unexpected and very delightful twist. What are the future plans for her? Will the story feature her consistent bitching of Shizune? Or will she broaden her horizons a bit? Personally, I'm hoping the she has another go at Shizune without the genjutsu, and maybe stuffs her full of some more billiards-- testing how many can fit inside Shizune. -
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