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  1. Today
  2. It’s like a horror film when someone thinks it’s a monster… and it was! I used to lurk on the old Godawful Fanfiction forum, since just about every story I’d written at the time was linked there. There was a lot of stuff posted that was worse than mine, sure. I know my way around the barely readable bullshit! And I meant in terms of content and themes rather than terrible grammatical constructions :p Feel free to use it! Ya know you’re welcome to use anything you need from my stuff anyhow. I’m sure readers would love to see Kevin smashing a necromancer’s box. What’s weird is I have the ideas, it’s getting the phrasing down, constructing the sentences so they flow and hold the interest and read good. I’ve managed it before, but it’s kicking my ass trying it again.
  3. Before I get into this, I’d just like to tell you that I was signed on writing a reply on another thread when you posted this. I happened to have headphones on, but had Youtube paused. The point of all this is that I was jumpscared by a notification. Anyway… You haven’t seen barely readable bullshit. I don’t want to name names, but I’ve read some stuff that is riddled with typos to the point of it being genuinely distracting. Well, while the use of Hsilgne would have fit with other demonic casting, it’s entirely possible that spells designed for mortal use might, once cast, respond to commands in the user’s own language. Also, it would have lost the comedic value. Seriously, that made me laugh so hard I kind of want to reference it in the Holiday Special now. *As Luzurial is dealing with the Dread Tree* Necromancer: “No! I can’t let you stop me.” *places backup weapon* “Box...” Kevin: *smashes box with a hammer* “I don’t know exactly what that was going to do, but I’mma just preemptively say fuck that noise.” That would make sense! I think Thundercloud’s even mentioned it. Who knows? Sometimes ideas come to you when you’re not thinking about the story in question, at least not consciously.
  4. InBrightestDay

    George Glass' Review Responses -- Original Fiction

    Well, I had to look that up, but tragically no. It actually looked like a small apartment in Florida with lights that never seemed bright enough, and a dog who had a creeping sense of separation anxiety. Ain’t nobody debating the hotness of Mizore! Though I will say there’s something kind of funny about calling a spirit associated with snow “hot.” As for the yuki-onna themselves, I’ve done a bit of research into them, along with other yokai, for a story I’m writing (no idea if I’ll pull it off, but I’m shooting for “creepy romance”), and there are a lot of different depictions depending, it seems, on what region of Japan you’re in. Sometimes yuki-onna are terrifying (some stories have them stealing children or eating children’s livers), sometimes they’re just kind of sad, and sometimes they’re both (the aforementioned Snow Bride story), so authors have a lot of leeway in terms of how to portray them. Sorry! That was my fault; I should have just said “reapers” or “guides to the afterlife” or something.
  5. Asras' Abomination may be the first of a series of prompt oneshots showing the effects of dark magics and demon dealings. If so I’m tempted to change part one to an index page, move it into paranormal general, and lump them in together given the connected themes and recurring characters that’ll no doubt show up.I seem to recall that’s allowed *Checks guidelines* yep – specific exception for Table of Contents for oneshot collections! I’ve finally realised putting ‘Flashfic’ in the summary is a good way to let folks know how damn short it’ll be too, to avoid folks getting over excited by the story codes. Anyway @InBrightestDay has kindly reviewed it, due to what must be the site’s highest tolerance for my barely readable bullshit. Thank you for revieing this! I’ve always said tentacle porn is one of my weaker areas, keeping it real short may have helped me hide the deficiencies but absolutely is gonna leave it too short for anybody to really enjoy as porn. I’m actually kinda surprised there is any hot imagary, so thanks for that, but thanks also for the frank appraisal of why it’s got negatives. S’all good feedback. I almost feel like this is meta humor about people ignoring the tags or bold face Turn Back Now warnings you put on your snuff stories. The link to Sarsa only makes me think of this more. In addition, I kind of like the fact that spells here are apparently named like some of the ones in D&D ("Asras' Abomination" would fit right in with "Bigby's Crushing Hand," "Evard's Black Tentacles," etc.) and that instead of being named after Sarsa, it's named after her Mary Sue. Heh, I’ve said before I’m not great at subtlety. You’ve nailed it there with some of the folks I was thinking about- ya see an evil summary, ya know it’s wrong, don’t damn well read it! Asras is no Mary Sue! Just because her magic is the strongest anyone has ever seen and even Voldie loves her for it… Oh, wait a sec… I literally burst out laughing at this. I can't even fully explain why. In Slumberverse America, Box X you. Initially I was going to have the box require the old backwards speaking reh ckuf etc, but I felt that might actually need explaining within the story and there wasn’t the word count, so eventually I just decided the spell was dumbed down enough to only need ‘Box’ for the commands. Oooh! This one was waaay overthought. Basically, Octavia’s a shoes fan. She goes in the room, everyone is wearing in dancing shoes on that expensive wooden sprung floor, so not worthy of comment in her thoughts. Then in stomps Kizzy wearing totally unsuitable boots… and stomps right through a box onto that expensive floor. Kizzy wearing docs got a mention in another story somewhere. Quite why she favors them is a bit of a mystery, I suspect they were a present. Heh, thanks. I liked it! I figure another time I can have folks get the vampire/werewolf mixed up too “Lupa? So you must be the werewolf?” “Oh sure! Yeah, when I was born they said ‘This kid? She’s gonna be a werewolf some day!’ Fuck you, I’m a bitch but I’m not a bitch.“ They got some great stuff on that internet. Thank you again for your review! I don’t do the prompt fics really expecting reviews, but it’s nice at least to get something down and created and of course to make something of DG’s efforts in setting the prompts. I wonder now if I can get the damn re-write done or if I’ll just end up doing another prompt fic.
  6. GeorgeGlass

    George Glass' Review Responses -- Original Fiction

    Re: “Snow” From InBrightestDay on April 24, 2019 Wow, what’s it like there? I’m picturing damp stone walls, bare bulbs dangling from the ceiling...basically Drusselstein. I learned about yuki-onna from watching Rosario + Vampire. (I don’t watch a lot of anime, but now and then one sucks me in.) I thought the young yuki-onna Mizore was hot, and I liked the concept – sort of sirens of the snow. Thanks! Sticking to the limit definitely took some doing. (Full disclosure: I had to look up “psychopomp” at Dictionary.com.) I have the idea that members of Hisashi’s family have been doing this for a few generations at least. (They’re prone to cancer, but it doesn’t tend to strike until they are in their 40s or 50s, after they’ve had kids.) They know where to go to find a yuki-onna; then she gets a meal, and the terminally ill man gets a pleasant death. Thanks for reading and reviewing!
  7. Yesterday
  8. Sablesilverrain

    A Prince in Lion's Clothing review replies

    Talliane: They have a pretty solid case. And their attorney is good at what he does. Ron and Ginny are going away for life. Or what’s left of it. Molly, however, will learn when they go missing. And cue the harpy dramatics when that happens.
  9. JayDee

    Week 203 - 28 September 2014

    Pen Name: JayDee Story link: Asras' Abomination Review replies link: Review Replies -Original Type of fic: Flashfic Rating: Adult+ Fandom: Original Pairing: Tentacle demon, buncha OCs, Warnings: 3Plus AFFO Anal ChallengeFic COMPLETE Contro CR DP MC MF Rape Tent
  10. Premise- In the summer after his final battle with Voldemort Harry decides to spend the year healing both mentally and physically. While staying in a Small Villa loaned to him by the Delacours in Greece, Harry is visited one nice by a she devil, almost literally. He finds a Succubus on his bed and while he may try to resist her he finds he can't. 5 Hours of Passion later and Harry watches as his angel and his Demon flies from his window as he does what should of been impossible. He satisfied a Succubus As she returns every night Harry finds that her visits become easier and easier for Harry to survive and thrive in. And with that more and more girls and women from his past appear in town and Harry learns the true benefits of Suviving a Succubus General Idea - Harry after surviving sex with a Succubus by satisfying her is gifted sex magic abilities, like he will always rise to the occasion, eventually after a more visits he learns he can control if and when he cums, and at the peak of his abilities eventually gains the ability to have a metamorphic cock, like growing bumps, ridges, spikes or even a second cock. Harry uses these abilities to not only continue to survive his nighty visitor but also court the girls and women he meets. Requirements - 1) Harry must fuck a Succubus and gain powers 2) Some of the Harem are Women from Hogwarts 3) Harry must have a older lover in the Harem 4) Harry is hung Restrictions - 1) Slash 2) The entire Harem is Hogwarts girls 3) The Succubus killing Harry 4) Pregnancy before a Epilogue Request - 1) OC's in the Harem not including the Succubus 2) Professor Sinistra, a Slytherin Girl (or Girls of you have them be the Carrow Twins) and Su Li of Ravenclaw as girls in the Harem 3) some of the Women after sleeping with Harry at his place wake up to the nighty visits and join in 4) The Succubus is a Self Aware being, perhaps even hides her nature as a normal person between her need to feed
  11. Guest

    George Glass' Transparency Thread

    Hi, it’s me, I just wanted to say hi and ask how are you doing. Also, I wanted to show you a list my most anticipated things of this year, so that you can see if it matches up with your ‘List of most anticipated things of this year’. So 1. Avengers:endgame comes out this Friday, and it is my most anticipated movie of this year, it really is shocking of how time flies by so fast, it was almost like yesterday that everyone was theorizing what the title could possibly be:) 2. Godzilla: King of the Monsters, my 2nd most anticipated movie of this year, if you didn’t know, they just released the final trailer for the film and it is amazing, it looks to be a very beautiful and gigantic film for Godzilla:) 3. Chapter 4 and 5 of ‘The More, the Merrier’, I am loving the story so far and cannot wait to see what happens next, specifically in chapter 4 of ‘The More, the Merrier’ Thanks to ‘Hot Yoga’ and this story so far, they have made these characters, who are mostly b- related characters(p.s. I don’t know if that is what they are actually called, I’m just guessing) some of my favorite characters in the show, and important to me:) 4. The final chapter of ‘Little Rose’, like I said before, it seems that time flies by so fast, soon the final chapter of this amazing story will be posted, and I am loving it so far, I am really excited and can’t wait to see what will happen in the final chapter:) 5. Star Wars Episode 9,I think this movie will be great, mainly because J.J. Abrams is returning to direct and if you haven’t seen the trailer yet, I won’t spoil anything, but let’s just say that it will blow you away:) So anyway, that is my list of most anticipated things for this year, let me know what you think of the things in my list when you have the time, and see if it kinda matches up with whatever you have anticipated for this year:) Good luck with your stories, and hope to hear from you again soon, bye and have a good night.
  12. Last week
  13. Quadrille. Ok. I do a flashfic using this word as nothing else seems to work. I can’t even get the darn re-write to work! bah. 

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      One pairing a part after the intro sounds like a good balance! Chapter 5, with an encore all character fourway would probably be a step too far and leave Ken in a "The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised" situation.

      (Yay, Futurama ref...)

    3. InBrightestDay

      InBrightestDay

      Quote

      Chapter 5, with an encore all character fourway would probably be a step too far and leave Ken in a "The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised" situation.

      I have actually thought about ending it with a foursome, but I keep waffling on whether or not to try it.  I’m not planning on it for now, but I’ll see how it goes writing the rest of the story.  If the 3Plus tag should suddenly appear on the story, you’ll know what I’ve decided.

    4. JayDee

      JayDee

      What if you decided to go with “Ken cloned himself twice so he could have a threesome with himself”? 

      I see the next week’s prompts are “reviled, repulsive, revolting” so I guess that one’s gonna be an autobiography for me…

  14. Sablesilverrain

    A Prince in Lion's Clothing review replies

    Talliane: Harry is going to get pictures of the graveyard from Tom and work on fabricating a false memory with his memory of Tom’s resurrection and Tom’s instruction on what he originally planned to do. Draco was in the RoR for a good long while, but he was being surprisingly appropriate. Because Fred and George were bad. Dumbledore was holding onto the contract until he was sure things would work out right. Too bad for him that they didn’t.
  15. Sablesilverrain

    A Prince in Lion's Clothing review replies

    Talliane: Glad you like it! Tom will be dealing with Ginny later, since he heard what she had done, he’s just relieved right now that it was already invalid.
  16. BronxWench

    Posted a chapter this morning, now it's...NOT THERE?

    My work laptop, which has a touchscreen, has an extraordinary amount of hissies involving forgetting how to touchscreen, zooming and refusing to zoom back out, and deciding I’m inputting too fast for its miniscule memory to cope with, so I restart a lot. Of course, it doesn’t help that the OS is Windows Hate, and the browser is IE. I even have to use Outlook for my work emails. It’s the damned Dark Ages, otherwise known as being a government employee. I forget how old my desktop is, but I tweak that mercilessly. It doesn’t dare misbehave, or I change out something inside. More power! More memory! Faster HD! ::cackles madly::
  17. Wishing @Melrick the very best of birthdays, and many, many more! :hug: :bday: :birthday: :twirl:

    1. Show previous comments  12 more
    2. Melrick

      Melrick

      Thank you kindly. 

    3. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      Jumping in late, so...happy un-birthday?

    4. Melrick

      Melrick

      Un-Thanks!

  18. Melrick

    Drawn Together

    Author: Melrick Title: Drawn Together Summary: Perry’s trip from Australia to New York City brings him physically closer to his life-long friend than ever before, a friend he's always felt an undeniable connection to, a friend he never thought he'd meet. They're close but still not quite close enough, or are they? Feedback: Yes, as always. Fandom: Original Pairing: N/A Warnings: AFFO, ChallengeFic, Fingering, HJ, M/F, M/M, Oral, Voy, Anal, D/s, Rim, 3Plus, DP, WIP Solo story or chaptered story: Chaptered URL: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109288 Review Reply thread: http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/topic/64204-melricks-review-replies-original-fiction/ This was the first story I’ve written in 2 years. It was originally intended to be nothing more than a simple one-shot, just to see if I could still actually write, but it ended up growing from that. And it is my birthday today, so wouldn’t a quick review be a nice birthday present? lol
  19. Things which literally never happen to me:

    1. Hearing Nuvole Bianche without mentally melting into a blissful rapturous puddle
    2. Seeing “Woozle” snoring with his mouth open and his little tongue hanging out without snickering
    3. Smelling an old book without the urge to huff it like a lunatic regardless of who’s watching
    4. Tasting a well-prepared quality tea without being thankful for life in general
    5. Feeling Heiferlump step on me with her pointy little toes without shrieking in pain then apologizing for startling her.

     

    1. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      I’d never heard this extraordinary piece, but thank you for making my morning sublime. After a rough weekend with an epileptic corgi in hospital for cluster seizures, I needed this bit of beauty to chase away the last remnants of stress.

      (The wee lass is home, doing her best impersonation of a stoner pup, and seizure-free which is brilliant… :D )

    2. InBrightestDay

      InBrightestDay

      I suspect you did this just to let us all know about Nuvole Bianche.  If so...thanks!

    3. CloverReef

      CloverReef

      I don’t understand most of this, but most of my life I’ve liiiived for huffing old dictionaries, so… now we’re sisters. 

  20. Ghost-of-a-Chance

    Posted a chapter this morning, now it's...NOT THERE?

    BronxWench – yes, I was able to get the chapter reposted with edits done in Word. Thank you for your advice. I also restarted after the crash because my computer was running slower than our landlady during office hours. (Read “It was basically just sitting on its butt and getting paid for it.”) It doesn’t surprise me that the chapter loss was probably related to the crash; I had a feeling it was. The situation happened because I had Spotify open, one of the cats decided he needed Mommy-time right now so hand it up, he plopped his tush right on the keyboard, and somehow he managed to click the touchpad on the obnoxious ad I’d muted. This opened a new tab in the browser, (already open) the tab froze, the other tabs froze and stopped responding, then the browser crashed completely. Chances are there was nothing malicious about the ad or site – my computer’s a ‘12 or ‘14, if I’m remembering correctly, and tends to not tolerate gifs and videos worth a lick, and my antivirus hasn’t made a peep. The page probably just had too many of those new-fangled moving talking pictures on it and ol’ lady Toshiba said “No witchcraft here.” Geez, JayDee, that stinks! Hate having to rewrite things entirely, and for it to be a long review? That had to be so frustrating! Honestly, I was lucky in this instance–I’m importing these chapters from another site and editing before posting, not typing them directly into the post box. Sure, I lost a lot of corrections, formatting, and scene expansions, but the chapter itself was already backed up. Since this, I’ve been doing edits in Word (like I should have all along, TBH) and posting them after backing them up. If I’d lost the chapter completely, as in without any backups? Yeah, I’d probably be a lot more upset. (like “Where’s my Scotch, I’m about to start cussing a blue streak” upset) As it is, a cup of tea and cuddling the cat was enough. No, “Woozle” didn’t get in any trouble for sitting on the keyboard – he got a treat. It was my fault for being on the computer instead of spoiling him. I’m a good people-servant.
  21. HannibalPorter

    Memoir

    My wife and I are working on a book about how we grew up together. Because of the stranger topics throughout, and especially the fact that we were going to be pretty descriptive with the sex scenes, we’re probably going to market it as erotica. We’d like the opinions of some of our fellow writers, so as to avoid unnecessary pitfalls. We’d love to keep this all 100% accurate, but we already know that we’ll at least be changing the names of everyone in the book, and even for the portions where we have reliable documents, you can only trust the diary/journal entries of preschoolers so much. For anyone who would be interested in helping us refine our lifelong adventure into a literary adventure, please message me.
  22. If you could give me a rundown, maybe some key frames, I could put together a prospect script for you.
  23. GeorgeGlass

    George Glass' Transparency Thread

    SWP1: The next and final chapter of Little Rose is going to take a bit longer than the previous chapters, because unlike them, there wasn't any material already written for this chapter; I only started writing text for it a couple of weeks ago. I haven't written any of the "action" scenes yet. Had a nice Easter dinner with friends. Hope you had a good Easter, too.
  24. Evil Fairy

    Evil Fairy's Review Replies

    For GeorgeGlass’ comments on Mabel Pines Saves Christmas!: I’ve always been rather pleased with how this one came together, so I’m very glad that you found it fun! Rest assured, a Northwest always collects on her debts. That three-way is coming like a freight train...a very slow freight train that’s made a lot of unexpected stops and detours, but is definitely on its way! Trust me, there are good reasons for this chapter coming first. The long delay in between...not so much. But it’s definitely on the horizon! Mabel is just 100% pleasure to write, or at least that what I found. And her misinterpreting Wendy’s Christmas feast, her festive underwear, her afterglow lines, it’s all just so fun and full of that essential ‘Mabel-ness.’ It makes me very happy to know that you got a kick out of her in this as well. As for Wendy, yeah, her confession about missing her younger bod is the kind of thing that hits some particularly high notes for me as well...great minds think alike and all that. That little revelation is also one of the reasons for not diving right back into Pacifica & Dipper that I mentioned. Well, I do feel like I’ve got a bit of fire lit underneath me to come back to this story now. (Famous last words) But whenever the next part does come out, I hope you’ll enjoy it as well! (It’s actually a New Year’s Eve story, but I refuse to be a slave to the calendar! )
  25. Sablesilverrain

    A Prince in Lion's Clothing review replies

    Talliane: Sorry about that. Umm… How about another semi-cliffhanger? Heheh. Don’t hurt me!
  26. JayDee

    Posted a chapter this morning, now it's...NOT THERE?

    Firefox is pretty good for me with AFF, but I always try and type stuff into a doc before posting. Even reviews. The last long review I wrote I didn’t and lost it! Had to re-write it. Gotta be much worse with stories.
  27. BronxWench

    Posted a chapter this morning, now it's...NOT THERE?

    I’ve poked around a bit, and I think it was linked to the previous crash. Firefox has been stable for us lately—there were builds a few years back that were gruesome with our archive code but they seem to have gotten past that. But when a browser crashes, I always recommend a full shutdown of the computer and a restart. I use Chrome, and while it’s very rare that it crashes, if I don’t do the full shutdown of my computer, everything is glitchy until I do so. I’m so sorry this happened, but hopefully you’ll be able to post the edited chapter successfully once you’re done with the edits in Word.
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