AFF Halloween 2021 Revews

[InvidiaRed]

A place where the reviews go =p _{^{crazy I know!}}

[GeorgeGlass]

For “Night of the Were-Bimbos”

From InvidiaRed on October 19, 2021

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I enjoyed the somewhat happy ending. She got to unwind!

I thought it would be fun to take a break from the horror this year and just do something silly. 

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I hope her uncle gets the help he needs. Any addiction is just hard to rehabilate.

Jomahawk, who was both alpha and beta reader on this story, suggested that I give Loni a specific reason to hate Las Vegas. Losing her beloved uncle to gambling addiction was what came into my head. 

[InvidiaRed]

42 minutes ago, GeorgeGlass said:

For “Night of the Were-Bimbos”

From InvidiaRed on October 19, 2021

I thought it would be fun to take a break from the horror this year and just do something silly. 

Jomahawk, who was both alpha and beta reader on this story, suggested that I give Loni a specific reason to hate Las Vegas. Losing her beloved uncle to gambling addiction was what came into my head. 

I think I do have enough time to actually write

Day of The Himbo

full credit to you and all for the werebimbo and the inspiration

[GeorgeGlass]

2 hours ago, InvidiaRed said:

I think I do have enough time to actually write

Day of The Himbo

full credit to you and all for the werebimbo and the inspiration

Hey, if that's where your muse takes you, then go for it.

[Sinfulwolf]

From @InvidiaRed for Samhain Night

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Ah Sinfulwolf

Its always a pleasure.

You've got it all, a gentle dark, a much worse pitiless light that cares not what it burns and a friendly antagonist who doesn't quite understand nor care about human self-imposed complexicities.

Amusingly, it was meant to originally be far darker. But, I kinda wanted a happy ending for Ravyn so I switched gears a bit part way through. It was fun to write, though it took me the better part of 2 months to do so. Still, thank ye! Glad the succubus came across well.

 

I will read the other tales posted thus far, tomorrow!

[InvidiaRed]

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From GeorgeGlass on October 26, 2021

 

 

Re: "Clucking Doom" by InvidiaRed

John Madden once said, "Don't do anything great if you can't handle the congratulations." Looks like Berta earned herself the last job she'd ever want. Berta definitely got the short end of the lollipop.

Quite the imaginative world you have here: science and magic in what would appear to be a postapocalyptic setting, made all the more amusingly bizarre by Wudy the Wabbit. 

Thank you. I’ll go more in depth on my own review thread. Rudy kinda just popped into my head one day. A wholly benevolent theme-park mascot animatronic  with a lovingly developed company AI. Much Closer to Delta than say murder ‘nonfunctional inducing’ happy Gestalt

Close, but not post-apocalyptic. You know how cutthroat and thieving global corps can be and even subsidiary companies aren’t 100% transparent with the main one when it comes to R&D top-secret prototypes and tech. 

Spoiler

When

 

Edited October 27, 2021 by InvidiaRed
clarity

[Sinfulwolf]

from @GeorgeGlass

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Great story idea. I really liked some of the imagery, too, like the mouse (Ravyn's familiar?) eating the little crumb of bread, turning it over and over in its paws. the ending was a total surprise, but in a "Well I'll be damned" way and not a "That came out of nowhere" way. Nicely done.

Thank ye! The mouse wasn’t Ravyn’s familiar, just a presence in her home kinda meant to show her isolation and her connection with nature. Plus I thought it was cute hence the turning over and over. So glad you liked!

And that ending… I struggled with how I wanted to end it for weeks. It was originally gunna be far darker, and had plans for all kinds of follow on chapters, but I decided I had too many WIPs and this might be better as a fun little poly ending. Thank you!

[InvidiaRed]

From SinfulWolf on October 30, 2021
 

Clucking Doom by InvidiaRed

Certainly an interesting setting. I like that swirl of typical fantasy, with a touch of modern post-apocalyptic. The way things were described to let us know what they were, without actually giving the names. It was bizzare and abstract and most certainly a ride for us readers. And that ending... beware the rewards right?  Thank you, I struggled to make it evident without being overbearing with the details. The thunderous steps, the kill gaze and the ability to fly and flattening the luxury vehicle all had to point to Berta was no longer human.

Nicely done! Happy Halloween Thank You <3

 

For the Winter holiday You’ll get to see Berta again

in Vampire Gynoids From The Future

Edited October 30, 2021 by InvidiaRed
clarity

[GeorgeGlass]

From SinfulWolf on October 30, 2021

Night of the Were-Bimibos by George Glass

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A rather interesting take on a horror classic. Here though it does come across much as a blessing, and I did like the ending how it all came together and how these folks were in their normal lives.

Yeah, I wanted to go light this year, and I thought making were-bimbo-ism a blessing in disguise would be fun.

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A shame about Loni's uncle though. Also a great start to more stories should you ever wish to.

 

Hmm, could be. InvidiaRed has already expressed interest in writing a story about “were-himbos.”

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A very spicy piece for Halloween.

Happy Halloween.

 

Thanks for the review, and happy Halloween!

[InvidiaRed]

From Thundercloud on November 02, 2021
 

Review of Clucking Doom

This writing style takes some effort for me to read. Thank you for the review

 

There is some very nice imaginary used, but at quite a few places it feels to me like there you only get to see random flashes of the actual action. Like if there is dark and you can only see when the lightning strikes.

I think I succeeded then. It was roughly what I was going for. Its more of an existential kind of horror. You’re seeing it through only when Berta is in control.

Makes me feel there are stuff happening between the sentences that you can guess but that is never explicitly told. That disconnect is intentional

For instance "She jumped, and Berta frowned" had me totally confused if Berta had jumped or why she would frown. This also follows a sentence with a dance, something that made the junp very unexpected.

Spoiler

  She’s piloting a monstrous body

The title of the story also left me wondering...anyway, thank you for sharing the story with us.  I’ll go more in depth on my personal review thread.

[InvidiaRed]

On 10/31/2021 at 9:24 AM, GeorgeGlass said:

InvidiaRed has already expressed interest in writing a story about “were-himbos.”

  I’ll PM you so you get to see it first!  

Day Of The Himbo

[GeorgeGlass]

From Thundercloud on November 02, 2021

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Review of Night of the Were-Bimbos

Crazy funny idea and very well executed.

Thanks!

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The way the transformation happen and affect the clothes was a new concept for me.

Yeah, I didn’t want Bimbo Loni to have to run out and buy a whole new outfit, so I just included her clothing in the transformation. Clothing is such an inherent part of the “bimbo” stereotype that it seemed justified.

Edited November 5, 2021 by GeorgeGlass

[Sinfulwolf]

From @Thundercloud

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I really enjoyed reading this story that had good Halloween like theme and lots of sexual tension. The detail thajack-of-lanterns are use to ward against evil is a very clever idea. The final sexscene of the story fitted everything together very well.

One possible objection from me would be that the number of monsters is a bit over the top. Walking between the houses could include dangers on a "magical" night, but the actual combat feels a bit like a distraction from the main event of the story.

Thank ye!

And that’s a very valid objection. In hind sight I should have lessened it some. The reason its there is cause I was plotting a much longer piece it just got… smaller, instead of my usual thicker. I perhaps should have gone back and lessened it some.

Edited November 5, 2021 by Sinfulwolf

[Thundercloud]

11 hours ago, Sinfulwolf said:

From @Thundercloud

Thank ye!

And that’s a very valid objection. In hind sight I should have lessened it some. The reason its there is cause I was plotting a much longer piece it just got… smaller, instead of my usual thicker. I perhaps should have gone back and lessened it some.

Thanks for the answer. It was not such big issue that it disturbed my reading.

[Sinfulwolf]

Certainly good to know, but also something to keep in mind for myself in the future should I ever do another short in a similar vein.