InvidiaRed's review responses

[JayDee]

No, the typo was in my post above*! I don’t spellcheck replies enough on here…

*Edit:...ok, previous page now.

Edited April 4, 2020 by JayDee

[InvidiaRed]

From JayDee on April 05, 2020
 

Onto section 4/actual part 3 thanks to the prologue clarification!

And it starts with Harry in a tent pointing his wand at Hermione’s entrance, her flaps, and muffling, which fulfils my wand gag quota.

Best thing in this part by far is Hermione just cutting the damn thing in half an impaling it on a coat rack. Absolutely awesome moment.

Good use of the old repair spell as well. Really fits in that they aren’t just ordinary folks dealing with this thing but magic users who can keep their environment in decent condition. Wizard Kind have a much higher chance of survival of a zombie apocalypse. Wands don’t run out of bullets even if they can be overrun by a horde like anything else. And remotely sealing doors means that quite simply. Wizards can outlast even heavily fortified muggle locations. To say nothing of a wizard’s ability to repair damage. Where as muggles would have to abandon a location due to a breach.

One thing that stuck out,

His shield kept the dust from flowing out of the security center. An unseen barrier kept the debris from flowing out of the room.

Kind of feels like it is saying the same thing twice? I’m not sure if it is intended repetition or something left over from an edit? Most likely the latter I’ll fix.

[InvidiaRed]

From JayDee on April 06, 2020
 

Section 5! The new chapter! And while I said I’d probably only do a chapter or a oneshot review in exchange I kinda got into this and read the whole thing, so when there’s another chapter after this please tag me on the forum or something and I’ll try and take a look! Haha <3 I’m glad you enjoyed so much I’ll try to remember to let you know when I upload another chapter.

Nice to see Mafalda’s cameo – she was only briefly in it, I think, and then mostly being worn by Hermione, but I liked the character.

Two bits I liked especially here – the line about ol’ Tom killing the previous minister for being useless, that was pretty funny. You can see how he’d get away with it during a zombie apocalypse too. Apocalyptic events accelerated fast in this story. Rufus Scrimgeour was poised to take over as minister of magic being the head of the auror office. But, Since the disaster accelerated so fast. Voldermort to his credit dropped the charade, berated Fudge for his incompetence and just straight up slew him. He could have been considered an usurper but when he had Harry captured within a span of a couple hours of this. Harry and Hermione didn’t even get off the hogwarts train at the end of year six when this all went down.

Most notions of resistance died the moment Harry endorsed him.As in desperate times the wizarding world looked towards Harry Potter to save them. Neither of them are happy with the deal or this arrangement but desperation makes strange bed fellows.

  When the world you thought you knew suddenly changes without warning The Dark Lord Voldermort is keeping the wizarding community functioning. His Death Eaters have managed to more or less keep the peace. Even as the dead swiftly swarmed the muggle world.

The second bit was Harry getting Bellatrix to shut up with his thanks, that was just cool! Harry is also being sneaky. He told them fire works but no mention of destroying the head or what spells work on these true inferi. He’s absolutely following the letter of the deal. But also, directly showing resistance by ignoring the spirit of the deal. Clenched teeth “teamwork”.

And there’s more info on why Harry is going along with the bad guys too, which clarifies some of it. He’s probably as worthy as some of the others with only a muggle-born mother anyway! Bah, but, well, Bellatrix is mad as a bag of spanners.

Part of the deal was that Harry had to take the Dark Mark. And because of this Voldy will always know where harry is and the other magical brand they all were marked with while mocking Gryffindor also has another purpose.

[InvidiaRed]

From InBrightestDay on June 07, 2020
 

Well, crap, I fell way behind, didn't I?

I haven't been labeling these reviews, but this one is for Chapter 4

If I have a criticism of this chapter, I think it has to do with the fact that Adala is being very hard on herself for what she did last time, but it really doesn't seem fair.  As she says

If only to smooth over her inadvertent transgression.

Like the woman says, it's inadvertant.  As far as the story has mentioned, grass just grows around her feet wherever she lands; she doesn't do that on purpose, and the godling didn't just break the aspect like the gods of Mortane did back in the first chapter, there's mention back in Chapter 3 of all of Adala's pain receptors lighting up, meaning she actually felt her body being shredded apart by the high-pressure water.  This feels like the equivalent of tasing someone for ringing your doorbell when they didn't know you had sensitive ears or something.  I mean, she brings this up: Gods are beings of heightened emotions. Simply put, they feel in extremes.

They are beings of extremes. They don’t feel sad, they experience soul crushing sorrow, To them happiness is euphoria inducing joy. They don’t get mad, they get blindingly enraged. It also doesn’t help that death is little more than a temporary inconvenience. All this largely skews their perspectives. Well unless they’re one of the indivisible.

Like a stupid child she had ignored the warnings. Being minced had humbled her.

But if she had turned back, she wouldn't be able to talk to the guy.  She didn't barge in screaming like the Beldam did, but just walked in about as respectfully as anyone who needs to talk to someone else could, so all in all I can't help but feel like he owes her an apology.  But no, Adala criticizes herself pretty hard on this… Adala may be the goddess of justice but that doesn’t mean she’ll judge herself fairly. In a sense, she’s her own worst enemy by holding herself by an impossibly strict standard.  She’s been the judge so long that she thinks murder, arson and jaywalking are deserving of the same level of punishment. She’s been insulated and isolated from the world by her job, so she doesn’t realistically know how society functions.

In this circumstance. You caused an incident with a godling of all things. You will make amends and take responsibility. Ergo, Your fault, your responsibility. In a very round about manner Mater is trying to get her to understand and socialize. She’s speaking in terms that she knows Adala will understand.

...and apparently so does everyone else.  I get from the way the scene is written that it's supposed to be funny, but the godling is coming across like a major asshole here.

Of course, that is only the beginning of the chapter, and we have to get to the second part. ( The Godling up until this point is entirely new to divinity utterly ignorant of everything including essentially all divine politics.. He’s been going at this divinity entirely alone. Gods are not just people, they’re like nations, militaries religions, corporations AND people all rolled into one. And one just popped up essentially next door.

It is really interesting to think of dinner parties involving every pantheon in existence, and there was something that made me chuckle here:

Almost like the indivisible. Whose  ilk who were apparently incapable of basic math. And who had the highest deicide rate of any godly faction in existance . The feckless losers of the war of creation.

Now, admittedly the term "feckless" coming out of a deity is amusing in and of itself, but Adala's first criticism of the indivisible is that they can't do math.  So the indivisible can't do division.

Sorry, but that was the way I read that, and I couldn't help laughing. ( Its meant to be funny as well a major part of lore. The indivisible all unilaterally have the belief that by creating aspects or avatars they loose some small part of themselves. Therefore, They are always in one place at a time and at 100% full power at all times. The problem with this approach is not every situation requires full strength and they can be overwhelmed. Gods can horde rush indivisible with aspects. Whittling them down may take time but 1 damage is 1 damage and while breaking tools is an inconvenience its not harming the god in question who is free to recreate the aspect ad nausem while also learning attack patterns, weaknesses and the like.  Or to put it another way a whole number slowly being murdered by fractions. Thus the Indivisible while willing to fight for what they believe in still refuse to aspect. They refuse to learn how to aspect or advance that skill. Its understandably a deific faction in sharp decline. It also why they’ve wracked up the highest death count. When they’re destroyed they greet oblivion.

Then things get ominous as hell.

The inverted deity, Cruim, is really creepy, and I like the concept of something that isn't really a god so much as a sort of malevolent force.  This actually feels more Lovecraftian, in terms of being a concept that the audience struggles to understand, than the "Old Evils" do. Cruim has essentially been the only serious non-hostile cosmic entity in contact with the Godling. So there is a legitimate cause for concern if not outright worry.

Old Evils are part of a hierarchy like any other. The problem is Adala and the gods don’t really understand they are not the only cosmic force in the multiverse. Its suspected by the existence of the lesser powers and the fact that Cruim is a regular threat. The Multiverse is an impossibly vast place… And the gods aren’t alone.

but they’re blind to the fact that the gods faced “something” in the war of creation an opposing force? Or where they just an unknown kinfolk? Old Evils in particular are demigod level threats that corrupt in a manner quite like viral transmission. Mind rape is their calling card. Corruption their currency.

Things were somewhat confusing, though, at the end, as the creepy intrusion seems to involve characters we've never met before (at least not in this story) and yet whom the story seems to think I should know.  "Balor" is mentioned, but "Merynaton" is the one whose name I've never heard, and seems to be referred to as "the entity" right up until the end, which is a bit confusing assuming I've got it right and Merynaton isn't someone else. I’ll try to clear that up Merynaton is well a name for the Godling in question. Balor is an aspect who went rogue and willingly joined Cruim. In a sense, He’s the most dangerous part of Cruim merely by the virtue of his ability to think.

Adala should be more concerned with the fact that the Godling in question is in possibly regular contact with this anathematic force that is Cruim… And he hasn’t been corrupted, assimilated or affected. I’d be incredibly worried that a traitor who aided and abetted in the murder of his goddess is on speaking if not friendly terms with what amounts to the new kid on the block.

“You ignored the warnings. So that’s on you. There will be no enmity between us.

Wait, so the entity using the Trias avatar...is this the same godling from the start of the story?  If so, again, I find it hard not to read him as the rude one in this exchange.  Well, he's evidently decided that her penance for her "sin" is to apologize to Trias, which promises to be a highly emotional scene when I get to it. He just wants the hurting to stop. As an empath who isn’t fully in control. One could argue that Adala is the one unintentionally and unknowingly hurting him.Minding his own business and then he’s forced to feel Adala’s emotional turmoil against his will. The gods of dark aren’t’ like the light oriented ones.

Defintely will try to fix that. Merynaton isn’t in full control of his divine ability so his aspect is highly affected by his as of now unknown domain/portfolio. In this case, This particular aspect takes on the form of someone or something that is emotionally important to the viewer. Thus, Adala sees Trias. There is however another reason why.

I'm sorry if this sounded like I was attacking you.  It's always your right as an author to write the story that feels best to you.  This is just my subjective emotional reaction. I can’t improve if no one reviews. <3

Edited June 11, 2020 by InvidiaRed
Clarity

[InvidiaRed]

From DreamWorlds on August 22, 2020
 

Wow 10 whole years ago

That is crazy think about, that means if you were 15 when you wrote this that means your 25 now. Wow

Time continues ever onwards.

I’ll admit I forgot that brief story existed but I’m always glad for a review. Thank you <3

[InvidiaRed]

From JayDee on August 25, 2020
 

New Part! More insight into what Harry's feeling - so is his inability to hate a sign that he's been kind of desensitised by it all?

Possibly just me, but when Argus was described as having a fetching face I thought there might be a pun of getting him to fetch something. I mean, there was that well volunteered line... ok,yeah, just me.

 

Haha. Alot of fics focus on Harry being the Master Of Death as what makes him special. But what really makes Harry Potter OP is his great capacity for love. That which Voldermort has no knowledge of. Canon wise Harry doesn’t hate Voldermort but rather views him in this light of pity(For being unable to love) and he showed great compassion by even offering Voldy himself a last chance. Harry is actually pussiant and adept with this very unknown branch of magic.

As in taking one for the team and taking the killing curse granted his allies sacrificial protection to the point that at the very end of the battle of hogwarts Voldmort wasn’t able to affect any of his allies for very long. In his last moments Voldy gone Moldy was practically powerless in that final battle.

Voldermort was for lack of a better term was Harry’s love born Horcrux from the very moment wormtail took his blood. Since by doing so he took Lily’s sacrifice into his body. Essentially. Unless, Harry was consumed by fiendfyre, bitten by a basilisk without a phoenix nearby or possibly even kissed by a dementor.(Which likely would have taken Voldy’s soul fragment instead) Voldermort was the only one able to kill Harry. (Nothing says stupid quite like as giving your enemy protection that only you can break.)  Each was truly the other’s source of immortality however inadvertent.

Harry is so far the only one in relative safety in this story everyone else is fair game.

Harry may be seventeen in this story but he’s still learning about sexuality and he really doesn’t know how to feel about Argus’s sexual advances and whether or not they’re wanted. But one could definitely say Argus’s wandpolishing skills are indeed Outstanding.

[InvidiaRed]

From DeathLingers on October 14, 2020
 

i thought this would be alpha harry guess not. concidering he somehow lost control over voldemort on the first ch ive lost interest, refuse to read a possible uke harry. well i can try again later when im not tired and annoyed

Thank you for the review.  This particular story will probably not be your cup of tea then. This particular dark lord Harry is Versatile/ Leaning towards Powerbottom. He’s slowly coming into his power and all but he’s definitely the one in charge.

 

 

 

[InvidiaRed]

From JayDee on October 16, 2020
 

Part 6! SPOILERS IN REVIEW

 

Harry was going slow and steady as possible. He kept his wand at steady as possible Ooof! I’ll fix it.

Lines that are the same in porn scenes as non porn scenes

Definitely more of a slow and steady chapter for that, no rampaging flesh hungry monsters here – I liked the take on using magic to open the hole, get the seeds, and then close it again. I laughed out loud at the one line “Granted Harry knew Argus was probably into blokes. At least that was what Harry thought.  Argus took him to the root of his dick with a fervent gusto that made him reasonably sure.” Harry isn’t dumb but… If you read the stories he’s well… Unobservant, Oblivious and Occasionally foolish. So it’ll all balances out

What you’d want to call more than circumstantial evidence there. But what’s this darkness hanging about? Is Argus hiding something devious? Well, gotta have some conflict for stories. Foreshadowing DUN DUN DUH!!!

Nice descriptions around the Patronus too!

 

 

 

[InvidiaRed]

From Foxkidsboy9 on October 25, 2020
 

Hey can I be in this story

I deleted the duplicates since they were all the same thing. I heartily apologize but I’m afraid not. Thank you for the review however.

 

[InvidiaRed]

From InBrightestDay on October 27, 2020
 

Tricked

What have you done, Invidia!?  You've crossed over that which was never meant to cross over!  You've opened the seals and we're all doomed!  DOOMED I TELL YOU!!!

*Ahem.* Muhahaha!How could I resist? The doorway was clearly unattended and now through the archway they come! Dun Dun DUH!!!!

Ok, so I started this review wondering whether or not you'd cleared this with tcr, seeing as this is clearly a direct sequel to Death Always Wins, albeit with some rather noticeable changes, one of which is that you have it in your Powdered Sugar setting (which admittedly was inspired by tcr's story, but wasn't a direct continuation).  Then the story went in a direction that raised several questions, leading me to the assumption that this is the setup for a Duncan adventure (Duncan himself appears to have blacked out after the end of Temporary and then woken up here), and then…  (OOF!, Its not a direct continuation and events do significantly differ. I did message them so its all good. Gods are public domain.

Duncan's on a road trip to find Yua.

This is deeply flattering, and it would be very cool to see Duncan and Yua interact, but also might cause some potential problems depending on how it relates to the other stories.  I am very interested in seeing where it goes, mind you. (Holiday canon can matter just as much or as little as a holiday episode haha its own separate little timeline).

Uh...sorry this wasn't more of an actual review of the story itself!  I kind of got distracted when Yua was namedropped. (I did also reference The Woman In The Statue. It impressed me highly)

  The story itself feels more like the first act of something larger, which works in the sense that it makes people interested, but at the same time has the inevitable side effect of storylines here ending on cliffhangers (like whatever's going on with Lucifer at the end there. (Big J was his Uber driver, Luci played the fool this Halloween tricked so many times and he didn’t even realize it. Hel usurped him as the hero of the story)

One of Duncan’s previous incarnations was solidly revealed. Angrboða herself. The Norse Mother of Monsters and Wolf Mother) More importantly their personalities are vastly different. They do however share a hostility to Aesir in general and an irrational hatred of angels) Its also the reason why Lucifer couldn’t reap her. Yes, She is dead but essentially she’s but a single thread in a massive spider’s web. Or a single link in a chain.

It shouldn’t have been possible since she’s definitively dead and Duncan is multiple incarnations removed from her the rules however are significantly different on Halloween.

Someone actually did guess correctly that his other incarnation was none other than Dagda’s Doom- Cethlann

Edited October 28, 2020 by InvidiaRed
Clarity

[InvidiaRed]

From GeorgeGlass on October 28, 2020
 

Tricked

Ah, a sequel to last year's story -- although I just glanced at InBrightestDay’s review, which points out that the first one was written by tcr. Interesting choice to sequelize that.

I still like the idea of the various underworld gods, old and new, hanging out together. The bit about some of them collecting very few souls these days was a good one.

And I'm guessing the cabbie was Jesus? Yep, Luci is currently seriously punch drunk from being crushed. It also continues the theme of luci playing the fool. He likesto think he’s so clever but to put it best Lucifer is playing checkers while everyone else is playing 3d 4v4 chess.

That’s indeed why the cabbie is smiling. Wouldn’t you? You’ve announced yourself and despite every hint you’ve given the person in question still doesn’t know who you are.

[JayDee]

Ahh! So it was Jay the woodworker! Well, that does clear that up. I shoulda read the replies here before writing my review

Quote

(Holiday canon can matter just as much or as little as a holiday episode haha its own separate little timeline).

George Lucas: “Let us never speak of the holiday special again.”

Edited October 29, 2020 by JayDee

[InvidiaRed]

40 minutes ago, JayDee said:

Ahh! So it was Jay the woodworker! Well, that does clear that up. I shoulda read the replies here before writing my review

George Lucas: “Let us never speak of the holiday special again.”

I actually have a copy. After the catastrophic travesty that was “ray” they don’t have a right to criticize that special.

[InvidiaRed]

From JayDee on October 29, 2020
 

Tricked by InvidiaRed

(Also spoilery review warning. I never learned to review properly.)

So, I’ll start with a bit of a gripe, I know, I know I’m a dumbass – I just figure if you’re writing a sequel to TCR’s Death Always Wins and using an extended reference to InBrightestDay’s lady who was also a spider and then a spider lady (…and if that’s a reference to the Van Dijk he used in The Woman in the Statue, it’s technically my horrible rapist lawyer character…) the cool thing to credit the sources so any readers can go see further adventures. Especially with it being a sequel for any readers wanted to go back and see what happened last year with the Casino! Chips! Corpses! Craziness! Clocks! C-Words! Anyway, gripe done… ( I could put a link to the stories in the afterward.)

…This line here, “The televised elder abuse of a senile geriatric as his political party, was dead set on throwing his corpse over the finish line if need be.” Made me laugh right out loud, partly because it’s funny anyway, but coming right after the genocide reference it was a hell of a mood swing. Perfect comic timing there!

…I heard Gabriel last got the horn with Mary. Ok, sorry, bad joke. Nice use of the affable yet threatening phone call there.

There’s some really nice descriptions here. Just about anything about the effects of oblivion really comes across well. Gotta love an unmaking void. The corpse puppetting description too was nicely grim. I’m really not sure how Lucifer got out of there… alive is possibly the wrong term. Existing? I guess it really is a Halloween miracle, especially If that cabbie really was a part time carpenter. ( Halloween miracle, He’s alive partly due to a combination of factors Hel destroying her own mother, The stroke of midnight returning the usual rules of life and death and literal divine aid from his friends.)

The epilogue felt a little bit un-related (in defence I may have misunderstood an obvious connection! I ain't the sharpest knife in the bulb socket) but it was fun to catch up with Duncan again!

“two poisoned suns would shine over Nippon” is just an awesome mention in a great line. Been 75 years and that shit still hits.( Its also can be considered atleast in Duncan’s setting part of the start of total divergance. For the first time in modern history the heads of the various pantheons established communication with the superpowers of the world. Man had devised a weapon that was on par with what the gods were capable of and had the potential to destroy the world. and with them certain realms opened up and man could potentially visit these other places. For example the uber rich who can afford it. Olympus is open)

I shoulda said this to George too, but thanks to both of you for taking part and sharing stories with us. Sorry ‘bout the gripe at the start. Feel free to tell me to fuck off! (Never dear, I unironically enjoy your writing.

[JayDee]

22 hours ago, InvidiaRed said:

I actually have a copy. After the catastrophic travesty that was “ray” they don’t have a right to criticize that special.

Hey! I liked Rey! I was way more pissed with the way they just shit over Rose in the third one though.

And that said, my favorite Disney ‘wars was Rogue One. Fucking brilliant movie that.

Quote

( I could put a link to the stories in the afterward.)

Can’t hurt!

Quote

( Halloween miracle, He’s alive partly due to a combination of factors Hel destroying her own mother, The stroke of midnight returning the usual rules of life and death and literal divine aid from his friends.)

Divine aid: Good

Divine aids: Shouldn’t have barebacked pestillence.

Quote

Olympus is open

I’ve been there. It was cold, but beautiful. Can see why they figured gods hung out there back in the day.

Quote

(Never dear, I unironically enjoy your writing.

Fuck, I wish I did. I see mine as a perfect example of Sturgeon's law.

[InvidiaRed]

11 hours ago, JayDee said:

Hey! I liked Rey! I was way more pissed with the way they just shit over Rose in the third one though.

And that said, my favorite Disney ‘wars was Rogue One. Fucking brilliant movie that. That’s the only exceptional one.

Can’t hurt!

Divine aid: Good

Divine aids: Shouldn’t have barebacked pestillence. Well the horsemen would be leather clad motorcyclists now not a bad image. Mmm… Divine intervention is a thing in this verse.

I’ve been there. It was cold, but beautiful. Can see why they figured gods hung out there back in the day.  Now imagine having the finance to have a flying chariot escort the moment you cross a heavily defended gate and see the legendary halls of Olympus and see that the descriptions just didn’t give Mount Olympus justice. As you pay tribute to the Olympians and feast with nymph attendants and more for your brief visit.  Or decide earth just wasn’t for you and join one the many many frontiers now open to humanity.

Fuck, I wish I did. I see mine as a perfect example of Sturgeon's law. You’re being far too unfairly harsh on yourself.

 

[JayDee]

35 minutes ago, InvidiaRed said:

Well the horsemen would be leather clad motorcyclists now not a bad image. 

As very well demonstrated in the book and miniseries Good Omens!

Except they had Pollution instead of Pestillence on account of Pestillence had retired “muttering about penicillin”

Edited October 31, 2020 by JayDee

[InvidiaRed]

7 minutes ago, JayDee said:

As very well demonstrated in the book and miniseries Good Omens!

Except they had Pollution instead of Pestillence on account of Pestillence had retired “muttering about penicillin”

Nice. I should probably watch that. Thanks

[JayDee]

Book’s even better!

[InvidiaRed]

9 hours ago, JayDee said:

Book’s even better!

Ironically, My Home-brew setting has pollution too.

https://www.worldanvil.com/w/tfom-invred/a/horsemen-article

[InvidiaRed]

From Thundercloud on November 01, 2020
 

Tricked by InvidiaRed

This is the kind of story when you start reading and more once have to pause when you realize that there is yet another cross reference to another story you have assumed is unrelated...and then you start to smile and move on. Thank you, You are far too kind.

Maybe it would have worked better if I had the other stories in more recent memory, but even though I found most events understandable there was a couple references that left me scratching my head in confusion. When there was talk about Hel in the context of a wife and the references to Hel's mother I did not get it at all. Melinoe is a a two fold goddess much like Hel is. She is a goddess of nightmares, madness, The restless dead of whom did not receive proper rites. It was important to hightlight the bickering of poker buddies even if Mic was being cruel.

Ooof. I’ll try to clear it up as I consider Holiday canon to be Powdered Sugar first, Then Temporary and finally Tricked.

As for the parts that I understood I liked the interplay at the ranch. One of the thoughts I had while reading Death Always wins was that some of the tension was lost when not much was at stake for the participants. This story surely delivered something quite different. The missing associate for the devil, the bitchering between the gods and the combat meant this was a good read.

The ending with Uber driver was very funny...and then afterward there is an extra scene with somebody named Duncan that the others were talking about earlier (and I think you had the character in a story last christmas).

Duncan seem to have been in battle...or something that he does not remember...is the battle at ranch house???...and he shall do a quest that seem totally unrelated to everything so far. Incarnation shenanigans,  Simply put for the day of Halloween Angrboda a past incarnation had free reign after Duncan was infested by a underworld parasite.

I suppose there is series of stories you are supposed to read to understand what is happening, but for me it just left me wondering and confused. Had it ended with the Uber drive and no resolution on what happened at the ranch house it would have made sense from narrative point of view but now we got something that feel like the beginning of new (and promising) story.

[InBrightestDay]

To jump in a bit here for @Thundercloud, Tricked references about five other stories.  The most obvious part is that it follows up on Death Always Wins, but there’s also Invidia’s holiday story from last year, Powdered Sugar (where Duncan was introduced), Temporary (where he went to Italy to reap souls from those killed by the pandemic), The Woman in the Statue (Van Dijk is mentioned, though this is obviously an alternate continuity, given that angels aren’t crazed zealots on the verge of extinction there, and that I have a scene with Lucifer coming up and he’s...rather different than he is here), and since Duncan has been asked by some of the kami (guardian spirits from Japan) to track down an errant spider yōkai, one Yua Hayashi, that would be a reference to either After Party, Parlor Games or both.

Hel’s mother, “Ma”, is a reference to Angrboða, a jötunn from Norse mythology.  After...uh...mating with Loki, the Prose Edda states that she gave birth to three monsters: Fenrir (hence all the wolves), the Midgard Serpent and Hel.

[InvidiaRed]

18 hours ago, InBrightestDay said:

To jump in a bit here for @Thundercloud, Tricked references about five other stories.  The most obvious part is that it follows up on Death Always Wins, but there’s also Invidia’s holiday story from last year, Powdered Sugar (where Duncan was introduced), Temporary (where he went to Italy to reap souls from those killed by the pandemic), The Woman in the Statue (Van Dijk is mentioned, though this is obviously an alternate continuity, given that angels aren’t crazed zealots on the verge of extinction there, and that I have a scene with Lucifer coming up and he’s...rather different than he is here), and since Duncan has been asked by some of the kami (guardian spirits from Japan) to track down an errant spider yōkai, one Yua Hayashi, that would be a reference to either After Party, Parlor Games or both.

Hel’s mother, “Ma”, is a reference to Angrboða, a jötunn from Norse mythology.  After...uh...mating with Loki, the Prose Edda states that she gave birth to three monsters: Fenrir (hence all the wolves), the Midgard Serpent and Hel.

Thank you  for the summary <3 @InBrightestDay

Luzurial is a cosmic entity who predates the universe I’d put her in the same weight class as Hera and other queens of pantheons able to fight their spouses to a standstill.  Based on how she’s written she most likely would have sided with the gods. Gods are intimately connected to existence. They’re supposed to be there. They’re part of the grand design of the universe. They are exactly as they say they are. No more, no less. If she does have a counterpart my setting, She’s probably deep undercover and or desperately trying to fix the damage to the workings of the universe trying to get things back on track.

If they ever did meet.

Luzurial would burst into tears at the sight of him because the damage done to Duncan is too extensive, too deep.one side effect is the irrational insane rage that angels inspire in him and the other is when he sleeps he relives the worst moments of all his incarnations.

My Lucifer, Is a bit of a loser but ironically by being cast out long before everything went FUBAR. He inadvertently may have saved the angelic race all things considered. He’s also a bit  of a hypocrite pretending to be more evil then he actually is. All things considered he’s nowhere near the worst among the divine beings. More of a jerkass than anything else.

In a way, My setting’s angels have propagated more destruction and disruption of any grand design than anything Lucifer(In WiTS setting) could dream of. And they did it solely because their ideology told them to. This damage has far reaching effects and consequences. People and gods who died  or were never born were meant to do great things, prophecy unraveled, things that were never meant to happen happened. Things that should have happened didn't.

A major example is that Joutunheim made a trade deal with the US seven days before the Asgardian envoy even arrived for preliminary talks.

Angrboða- Is the name Duncan gave Logan in Temporary.

Angrboda is also presumed to be the witch of the ironwood who spawned a race of wolf giants who will grow stronger until one day Mánagarmr  is born among them and he will grow to devour the dead and in the end the moon. Just as Skoll/ Fenrir will devour the sun. Its not much a spoiler but those wolves in Tricked? They weren’t normal wolves. They came to midgard because they heard their mother’s call.

I almost had the change happen when Duncan returned home early but… She would have slaughtered Logan. 

A runt among the Jotun even with marine training would have stood no chance against the sheer might of a proper giantess in her prime. That’s not even factoring in the magical prowess Angrboda likely possessed. So I had to re-write. Because, having Duncan wake up and return to a destroyed home and ruined life again seemed to be just too mean spirited.

 

Edited November 3, 2020 by InvidiaRed
Clarity

[Thundercloud]

Thanks for deep dive into mythology.

I think that in general your writing style InvidiaRed is not quite compatible with my reading preferences.

When the story does not explain quite what is happening and I need to take a break and research why I recognize a particular name to understand what is happening then my reading focus is lost. When it is nordic mythology that I sort of remember, but not quite... then effect is even worse.

Nothing wrong with your style in itself, but it is not my preference. So keep working...but I will probably be a rare reader.

[InvidiaRed]

4 hours ago, Thundercloud said:

Thanks for deep dive into mythology.

I think that in general your writing style InvidiaRed is not quite compatible with my reading preferences.

When the story does not explain quite what is happening and I need to take a break and research why I recognize a particular name to understand what is happening then my reading focus is lost. When it is nordic mythology that I sort of remember, but not quite... then effect is even worse.

Nothing wrong with your style in itself, but it is not my preference. So keep working...but I will probably be a rare reader.

Thank you for the constructive criticism <3