Jwsponky Posted May 27, 2018 Report Posted May 27, 2018 (edited) An attempt at answering booblover’s ‘Hiccup the Overlord’ challenge, though I make no promise the ‘M’ rated parts will be any good when I eventually get the story written. Rough Outline: Mildew attempts to kill child Hiccup, who is then found and raised by the Minions in a ‘prologue’ chapter that makes ample use of time skips to show Hiccup developing various plans that will come into play during the story proper Hiccup (RTTE age) goes through the events of the first Overlord game and the Raising Hell expansion, ending up trapped in the Infernal Abyss by the actions of Quaver, possessed by the spirit of the previous Overlord. After a few years in the Abyss Hiccup manages to break free, conquering the Barbaric Archipelago before going through the events of the second game interspersed liberally with liberating/conquering the various ‘Disney kingdoms’ from the magic hating Glorious Empire of the second game Personal twists: The Minions would be an all female species, think social insects taken to the extreme, and would include several ‘O.C. tribes' I was struck with the idea for, created by Hiccup’s alchemy experiments in the prologue. 1. Yellows- Able to throw lightning bolts, their distinguishing trait being a pair of deer like antlers with small electrical charges occasionally arcing between the tines 2. Whites- Able to throw razor sharp icicles and would be the surest footed on ice and snow, their distinguishing trait being a pair of forward facing bull horns 3. Greys- Having the keenest noses and ears of the Minions, they would serve as trackers and scouts, their distinguishing traits would be long fangs, bat ears, and a bat nose 4. Oranges- Having the keenest sight of the Minions, they would serve as snipers, their distinguishing traits being a line of spikes going down their scalp and spine as well as a Nadder tail 5. Blacks- The strongest of the Minions, they would serve as siege engineers and hold the front line of a shield wall, their traits being long fangs and tusks as well as a mane of bristles 6. Purples- Able to throw balls of acidic slime, their distinguishing traits being a rhino like nose horn and a double row of spikes down their backs similar to Singetails’. The Minions would have Mounts that would be spawned in a similar manner to the Minions, the result of another of Hiccup’s experiments with samples of the Minion hives, resembling a cross between LOTR style wargs and monitor lizards, with traits of their respective Minion tribe. The original Overlord who first created the Tower Heart charged the artifact by sacrificing several evil sorceresses, such as Maleficent and Grimhilde, whose spirits were bound to the Heart like genies to their lamp. The sorceresses act as advisors and mentors in sorcery to Hiccup. During the prologue, the sorceresses summon the Netherghul from the game ‘Overlord: Fellowship of Evil’ to act as bodyguards, commanders, and mentors in combat to Hiccup, with the two male Netherghul being rewrote as female. Hiccup is, through Valka, a descendant of a previous Overlord which is why the Tower Heart seeks him out when the current one dies, and he attacks the fallen heroes in the first game to recover the ‘family heirlooms’ they stole. The mistresses, in addition to the increase in curves of the original challenge, gain an increase in height as a side effect of the corruption/domination spell of the second game, their final heights ranging from 6’ 6’’, slightly above Hiccup’s adult height of 6’ 2’’, to 8’ the record for woman height, depending on the height they started at. The civilian women in Hiccup’s domain get a similar but smaller boost, allowing the mistresses to stand head and shoulders above the crowd. I plan to include LOTR style orcs, because I like orcs and because the first game already had humans, elves, dwarves, and hobbits by a copyright friendly name. The dragons will be shape shifters like in boobloover’s ‘adult HTTYD’ challenge. I plan to include a few plot twists from an HTTYD story I had been writing before my muse dried up, causing me to switch focus to this story, which had been #2 on my list of project ideas. 1. Dagur, female in this story, and Heather are Hiccup’s twin elder sisters, though Dagur still ends up raised by Oswald the Agreeable. 2. Gobber has a daughter named Camicazi, based on the HTTYD book character of the same name, who is Astrid’s cousin. 3. The ‘Berk teens’ include a girl named Snakebite, partly based on the book character Tantrum o’Ugerly. 4. Mala and Atali are siblings, with the Wingmaidens being a sect within the Defenders of the Wing that venerate Razorwhips instead of Eruptodons. 5. Valka gives birth to a son named Jotun a few months after Cloudjumper takes her to the Dragon Sanctuary. I admit I’m still debating on including this one… 6. Valka is Oswald the Agreeable’s sister, married to Stoick as part of a peace treaty 10. The mistresses Hiccup takes are originally just meant to oversee the areas Hiccup had already conquered before the decide to seduce him, and are given their own Overlord gauntlets. Mistresses: Maleficent- One of the sorceresses sacrificed to make the Heart, rewritten as an orcess due to her green skin Grimhilde- One of the sorceresses sacrificed to make the Heart Ursula- One of the sorceresses sacrificed to make the Heart, she has Ursula's color scheme with Vanessa's figure and the ability to shift her tentacles into legs Mad Madam Mim- One of the sorceresses sacrificed to make the Heart, appearing in her ‘beautiful’ form, reimagined as a human/elf hybrid Mirage- One of the sorceresses sacrificed to make the Heart, drained of part of her magic by La before the events of the story, she is initially trapped in the form of a house cat Inferna- One of the Netherghul, she is a Ruborian woman with skill at fire magic Malady- One of the Netherghul, she is skilled at curses and necromancy, the later of which Hiccup views as ‘impressive, but impractical’, since you would need to kill an army to raise an army, as task for which you would need an army Cryas- One of the Netherghul, an elf with skill at ice magic, rewritten from a male named ‘Cryos’ in the Fellowship of Evil game Haka- One of the Netherghul, an orcess with lightning magic, rewritten from a magicless male dwarf named ‘Hakon’ in the Fellowship of Evil game Zarina- Hiccup meets her during the prologue during her exile from Pixie Hollow, and gives her a place to stay and preform her experiments in exchange for occasional help with his own Rose- The mistress of Spree Velvet- The mistress of Heaven’s Peak Demona- The unnamed succubus queen from the first game, eventually given dominion over the Infernal Abyss Titania- An elf O.C. based on LOTR’s Galadriel and Disney’s Gargoyles’ Titania, wife of Oberon Greenhaze, mistress of Evernight Forest Aza- An orc O.C. based partly on the Hobbit’s Azog, the chiefess then mistress of Dol Gubad, an orc colony with a longstanding with the elves of Evernight Forest Lura- An orc O.C. based partly on LOTR’S Lurtz, Aza’s second in command Tauri- An Elf O.C. based on LOTR’s Tauriel, a slave liberated from the dwarves, mistress of the Golden Hills Jewel- The mistress of Ruboria, Hiccup spares her after she asks for mercy, something the other fallen heroes didn’t think to try Astrid- The mistress of Berk, but originally attempts to convince Hiccup to let her fight alongside him and the Netherghul Camicazi- The mistress of the Bog Burglar islands, home of the Bog Burglars, her tribe in the books Ruffnut and female Tuffnut- The mistresses of the Meathead Island, home to the Meathead tribe, a tribe from the books, female Tuffnut basically looks like Ruffnut wearing Tuffnut’s clothing Heather- The mistress of the Outcast tribe Dagur- The mistress of the Berserker tribe, she basically looks like Heather with brown hair wearing Dagur’s armor and war paint Snakebite- The mistress of the Amber Slavelands, home to the Uglithug tribe in the books, the tribe of the character she is partly based on Toothless- Mistress of Dragon Island Stormfly- Toothless’ second in command Windshear- Toothless’ third in command Kelda- Mistress of Nordberg, rewritten as a wolf queen, a character from Overlord: Dark Legends, a shape shifter that turns into a giant wolf and commands other smaller wolves, also shape shifters in this story Valka- Mistress of the Dragon Sanctuary Mala- Mistress of Caldera Cay Atali- Mistress of Wingmaiden Island Nikora Stormheart- Mistress of the Dragon Hunters Iduna- Mistress of Arendelle, Elsa and Anna's mother Elsa- Iduna's assistant Anna- Iduna's assistant Gothel- A witch with skill at making potions, she approaches Hiccup seeking protection from the Glorious Empire for herself and Rapunzel, claiming to have found her in the woods as a baby Arianna- Mistress of Corona Rapunzel- Eventually Arianna’s assistant Cassandra- Guard and handmaiden to Ariana and Rapunzel Lady Caine- An old friend of Jewel’s, she shows Hiccup some old smugglers’ tunnels to get some of his Minions inside Corona’s walls when he conquers the city Ariel- Mistress of the mermaids of Everlight Reef, seeks out Hiccup’s help against the Empire forces in the area as he passes through, able to change her tail into legs Juno- The mistress of Everlight Jungle, rewritten as a spider queen, combining the spider queen enemy from the second game and the wolf queen concept from Dark Legends Elinor- The mistress of Dun Broch Merida- Elinor’s assistant, lead a guerilla campaign against the Empire’s occupation of Dun Broch Belle- The mistress of… I don’t think the village in ‘Beauty and the Beast’ ever received a name… any suggestions welcomed. Possibly rewritten as a she beast, queen of a kingdom of beasts, possibly with a culture partly based on the Urgals from the ‘Inheritance’ series, mainly due to the fact that from the few clips I've seen of the remake, the CGI Beast looks more like an Urgal than the Urgals in the actual ‘Eragon’ movie Esmeralda- The mistress of Paris, mainly added as a nod to the fact that in real life the Vikings did attack Paris in 845 and caused enough damage that in later years all they had to do was show up and the Parisians would offer up loot to get them to go away rather than try and fight them again Fay- Mistress of the Wastelands, rewritten as a salamander queen, a combination of the salamander king enemy of the second game and the wolf queen concept of Dark Legends La- Mistress of Opar, drained Mirage of part of her magic by beseeching her to appear and trapping her in a rune array, before trading Mirage to the original Overlord to save her own skin Jasmine- Mistress of Agrabah, possibly rewritten as a naga, mainly based on the episode of the TV series where she is turned into a naga, and sultana of a kingdom of nagas, able to shift between naga and human form Clarissa- Emperor Solarius’ bodyguard, eventually made mistress of the Empire Heartlands, taken from the Fellowship of Evil game Well, that's all I've got so far… Comments and suggestions welcomed Edited June 15, 2018 by Jwsponky Removed a mistress after thinking about it Quote
Red_Light_Zone Posted May 27, 2018 Report Posted May 27, 2018 A Good story. I like how you’ve incorporated elements from the game into them occupying the Disney Kingdoms. But I would make some changes if you’d like to hear them. Quote
Red_Light_Zone Posted May 27, 2018 Report Posted May 27, 2018 Add another minion: and Indigo type born with wings so that you can have a flying force. Get rid of Narissa and just have Ursula be one of the sorceresses sacrificed to the tower heart. She’s already described as a sea witch and hardly anyone knows about Enchanted. This is more of a personal thing, but don’t have the Netherghul be his concubines and don’t make the dragons shapeshifting bimbos. The sorceresses are one thing as they can have physical bodies to sleep with, but there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Don’t make Maleficent an orc, she’d already stated to be a type of fairy, just stick with that. How about losing the LOTR races too? Not that it’s bad to have, but it just seems unnecessary to have considering how big this story is. It’s already a tree way crossover between HTTYD, Overlord, and Disney, adding more will make it boring and confusing real fast. If you love the orcs so much, why not just make the minions the same size as orcs with Hiccup’s alchemy? It wouldn’t be too far of a stretch to have him make a potion that would increase their size and strength. Don’t make the Minions females, just keep them (Mostly) genderless. If you want a sexy minion, why not have the Jester drink an experimental potion by mistake and have her be a sort of Harlequin to entertain Hiccup more. Don’t make Dagur and Tuffnut women. It removes their personality, plus having essentially two Ruffnuts is taxing. How about making the Netherghul based off of the chaos gods from Warhammer? There is four gods for four bodyguards. And they already have the same colors. Make Khorne a pure melee DPS, Tzeetch the mage, Slaanesh a speedy rogue that fights in booth range and melee, and Nurgle a tanky meat shield (though, to be honest, I would also make him a Tree man and have him be a sort of Healer/Tank). Quote
WillowDarkling Posted May 27, 2018 Report Posted May 27, 2018 I’m going to step in here, and remind everyone that this is supposed to be a thread for a story that is already written and posted, so please, at least get the story up before you start to suggest additions and changes. Willow Darkling, forum moderator. Quote
Red_Light_Zone Posted May 27, 2018 Report Posted May 27, 2018 1 minute ago, WillowDarkling said: I’m going to step in here, and remind everyone that this is supposed to be a thread for a story that is already written and posted, so please, at least get the story up before you start to suggest additions and changes. Willow Darkling, forum moderator. And I will counter saying that there is no story in this guys account. Quote
Jwsponky Posted May 28, 2018 Author Report Posted May 28, 2018 7 hours ago, WillowDarkling said: I’m going to step in here, and remind everyone that this is supposed to be a thread for a story that is already written and posted, so please, at least get the story up before you start to suggest additions and changes. Willow Darkling, forum moderator. I apologize Mr. Willow if I misread something that said discussion threads were only for preexisting stories. Mine is still mainly in the planning stages, but I by no means wish to break the rules, so I shall abandon this thread immediately. Quote
Red_Light_Zone Posted May 28, 2018 Report Posted May 28, 2018 Just now, Jwsponky said: I apologize Mr. Willow if I misread something that said discussion threads were only for preexisting stories. Mine is still mainly in the planning stages, but I by no means wish to break the rules, so I shall abandon this thread immediately. Wait, what did you think of my suggestions? Quote
Jwsponky Posted May 28, 2018 Author Report Posted May 28, 2018 (edited) 15 hours ago, Red_Light_Zone said: Add another minion: and Indigo type born with wings so that you can have a flying force. Get rid of Narissa and just have Ursula be one of the sorceresses sacrificed to the tower heart. She’s already described as a sea witch and hardly anyone knows about Enchanted. This is more of a personal thing, but don’t have the Netherghul be his concubines and don’t make the dragons shapeshifting bimbos. The sorceresses are one thing as they can have physical bodies to sleep with, but there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Don’t make Maleficent an orc, she’d already stated to be a type of fairy, just stick with that. How about losing the LOTR races too? Not that it’s bad to have, but it just seems unnecessary to have considering how big this story is. It’s already a tree way crossover between HTTYD, Overlord, and Disney, adding more will make it boring and confusing real fast. If you love the orcs so much, why not just make the minions the same size as orcs with Hiccup’s alchemy? It wouldn’t be too far of a stretch to have him make a potion that would increase their size and strength. Don’t make the Minions females, just keep them (Mostly) genderless. If you want a sexy minion, why not have the Jester drink an experimental potion by mistake and have her be a sort of Harlequin to entertain Hiccup more. Don’t make Dagur and Tuffnut women. It removes their personality, plus having essentially two Ruffnuts is taxing. How about making the Netherghul based off of the chaos gods from Warhammer? There is four gods for four bodyguards. And they already have the same colors. Make Khorne a pure melee DPS, Tzeetch the mage, Slaanesh a speedy rogue that fights in booth range and melee, and Nurgle a tanky meat shield (though, to be honest, I would also make him a Tree man and have him be a sort of Healer/Tank). 1. The idea of flying Minions had been one I had considered, but my plan had been for the dragons to form Hiccup's air force. 2. I admit that swapping Narissa for Ursula had been an idea I had not considered, since at the time I can up with the 'bound sorceresses' idea, I had still been debating her's and Ariel's in the story. 3. I'm not sure where you got the idea I was making the dragons 'bimbos', like any naturally occurring race there would have been both males and females, and a varied level of intelligence depending on the individual. 4. I did not know Maleficent was supposed to be a fairy. I thought her species was left to speculation, and I just picked orc because 'sickly green' is not a hue typically associated with human hide. 5. If I get rid of all the races in LOTR I would have to get rid of the entirety of the events of the first game, since it included three kingdoms of men, a kingdom of elves, a kingdom of dwarves, and a kingdom of halflings, which were hobbits by a copyright friendly name. 6.That had been one of my plans that I had forgotten to mention… 7. The idea of making them female had little to do with 'sexy', and more just taking the society of social insects to the extreme, as mentioned in the original post, with the in story explanation of the original Overlord operating under the belief 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned' 8. Um... Not much to say on this one beyond agree to disagree I guess. 9. ... How can war hammers have gods when they are merely weapons developed in response to the increased structural integrity of plate armor?.. Edited May 28, 2018 by WillowDarkling corrected a misunderstanding Quote
Strange_idea Posted May 29, 2018 Report Posted May 29, 2018 So to repost my earlier suggestions I was thinking something similar to the drive systen i mentioned, though reversed. with Hiccup (and maybe other magically-gifted girls) acting as a source, the girls would gain more combat-capable forms and abilities, further transforming them and allowing them in turn to empower troops under their command, with characters directly connected feeling the effect much stronger. To further the connection, This could have the side effect of tapping into or CREATING latent abilities that they could refine and use in their own time. Some examples of possible drive forms: Jasmine becomes a tiger-girl and gains powerful fire magics (a reference to the ifrit, which also ties into he history with rajah and the genie as well as a nod to her villain, mirage). this also gives her immense speed, sharp claws and catlike flexibility. possibly throw in a few of the more dangerous tricks from the genies she’s seen, like jafar’s sword-summoning. the harem girls also transform Ariel becomes a living water-spectre like her kingdom-hearts 3 summon, and gains the ability to swim through the air and land as well as a a trident which grants her incredible water magic and lets her summon phantom sea life. her sisters also transform. Astrid grows twice/three times as tall, gets stormfly wings, scales, spines and tail and gains flight, lightning breath and the ability to call down actual storms (e.g cloud, galeforce winds etc). The other vikings…. probably have their own forms Cinderella turns into living crystal and gains absurd agility, luck and causes things around her to repair themselves to her wishes. or she gets a fairy-self to protect her and carry out her bidding. Merrida would probably be a full-on amazon with will-o-wisp fire around her blade. Aurora grows taller, gains the powers, clothes (modified to be more erotic) and some traits of maleficent and summons fairies to do her bidding. or she gains dream-weaving powers and makes all her enemies fall asleep. or both or she gains fairy-clothing and trais and can make solid ‘dreams’, like giant thorny vines Alternatively, hiccup and a girl are removed from battle, but the abilities are spread to EVERY harem girl. being powered by their ‘connection’, hiccup and the girl sleep together to keep it going Quote
Strange_idea Posted May 29, 2018 Report Posted May 29, 2018 Also, i think he meant dragon bimbos in the 'resembling a human figure with a jessica rabbit figure' sense, not the intellectual sense Quote
Jwsponky Posted May 29, 2018 Author Report Posted May 29, 2018 (edited) You make some good suggestions, and coincidentally I had toyed with the idea of giving Aurora 'Poison Ivy' style powers over the vines as an unintended side effect of Maleficent's eternal sleep spell and 'forest of thorn vines' spell being in effect for the undetermined amount of time since Maleficent was sacrificed (see twist #3) to the 'present', likely with the eternal sleep spell having an 'eternal youth while the spell is in effect' clause. But I admit I'm unsure if I'll include Aurora in the story at all since from what I recall of watching 'Sleeping Beauty years ago Aurora didn't have much of a personality and was more of a prop than an actual character... I had also toyed with the idea of adding the character Mirage that you mentioned as a mistress as well, but given that she is essentially a goddess, I couldn't think of any benefit for her… Also just for the sake of saying, the 'enhanced' females would be closer to She-Hulk than Jessica Rabbit, not necessarily growing 'body builder' muscles, but definitely toning what was already there. Edited May 29, 2018 by Jwsponky Quote
Strange_idea Posted May 30, 2018 Report Posted May 30, 2018 I meant in terms of breasts, but thay works similarly. As for aurora, well she's a bit bland but workable. She has some personality to work with, and if you take her as 'raised by fairies' you can have an interesting and slightly off persona for her. Shes also better in 'maleficent', so there's that Quote
Jwsponky Posted May 30, 2018 Author Report Posted May 30, 2018 I was not aware that Maleficent had her own movie... When did this happened ? Quote
Red_Light_Zone Posted May 30, 2018 Report Posted May 30, 2018 3 minutes ago, Jwsponky said: I was not aware that Maleficent had her own movie... When did this happened ? Basically, they fleshed out Maleficent's back story as to why she's evil. She was once a powerful fairy girl who fell in love with an ambitious peasent boy. Her duty was to protect Moors, a magic forrest that stood between two kingdoms. King Henry decides to conqure Moors for reasons and he and malefecent come to blows. It ends woth him being mortally wounded, but he declairs that whover kills maleficent will be named his successer and marry his daughter. Stefan, the peasent boy she fell for, betrays her by drugging her but cant bring himself to kill her. So he just cuts off her wings. Angry, Malefecent takes revenge on the now king stefan by cursing her daughter. This drives the king mad. Over time, malefecient cares for Aurora when the bumbling fairies fail to do so. She tries to end the curse, but it was too perfect, so she grabs a prince to have him un do it. This fails. Finally she gives the princess a motherly kiss on the forhead, which counts as a true loves kiss. Quote
Jwsponky Posted May 30, 2018 Author Report Posted May 30, 2018 12 minutes ago, Red_Light_Zone said: Basically, they fleshed out Maleficent's back story as to why she's evil. She was once a powerful fairy girl who fell in love with an ambitious peasent boy. Her duty was to protect Moors, a magic forrest that stood between two kingdoms. King Henry decides to conqure Moors for reasons and he and malefecent come to blows. It ends woth him being mortally wounded, but he declairs that whover kills maleficent will be named his successer and marry his daughter. Stefan, the peasent boy she fell for, betrays her by drugging her but cant bring himself to kill her. So he just cuts off her wings. Angry, Malefecent takes revenge on the now king stefan by cursing her daughter. This drives the king mad. Over time, malefecient cares for Aurora when the bumbling fairies fail to do so. She tries to end the curse, but it was too perfect, so she grabs a prince to have him un do it. This fails. Finally she gives the princess a motherly kiss on the forhead, which counts as a true loves kiss. Huh... Call me old fashioned, but by the sound of it I think I'd prefer the 'Sleeping Beauty' version where she's evil for the fun of it... Quote
Red_Light_Zone Posted May 30, 2018 Report Posted May 30, 2018 Just now, Jwsponky said: Huh... Call me old fashioned, but by the sound of it I think I'd prefer the 'Sleeping Beauty' version where she's evil for the fun of it... That’s why I said you aren’t missing much. It’s not a bad movie, but I like the cartoon better. Quote
Jwsponky Posted May 30, 2018 Author Report Posted May 30, 2018 13 minutes ago, Red_Light_Zone said: That’s why I said you aren’t missing much. It’s not a bad movie, but I like the cartoon better. On an unrelated note, since in our direct message conversation you suggested making Maleficent a fairy like she was in the movies, a fact of which I was unaware, instead of an orc, as well as removing the idea of orcs from the story all together, what race would you suggest changing Haka the Netherghul to? Quote
Strange_idea Posted May 30, 2018 Report Posted May 30, 2018 I enjoyed it, but largely because I'm a fan of old fairy stories. And i made sure to see them as seperate continuities. Theres a surprising number of nods to medival traditions and stories between them. The part i think you could use is, aurora thinka the fairies are her aunts, but knows theres something not right about her life and luck, sowhen the mysterious otgerworldly lady shows up she thinks maleficent id her fairy godmother. (Maleficent's face is priceless). You could use that as part of your version Quote
Red_Light_Zone Posted May 30, 2018 Report Posted May 30, 2018 Just now, Jwsponky said: On an unrelated note, since in our direct message conversation you suggested making Maleficent a fairy like she was in the movies, a fact of which I was unaware, instead of an orc, as well as removing the idea of orcs from the story all together, what race would you suggest changing Haka the Netherghul to? I don’t know the Haka, but keep the Netherghul as is. They are, after all, character unto themselves. Quote
Strange_idea Posted May 30, 2018 Report Posted May 30, 2018 I agree. If you want a race for her under her ghouliness, you can say she was an elf and it reacted REALLY badly to the transformation. Like in tolkein! Quote
Red_Light_Zone Posted May 30, 2018 Report Posted May 30, 2018 Also, don’t my suggestions, too litterally. I only said them because it seemed like you had too much going on at once IMO. Do what you like. Quote
Strange_idea Posted May 30, 2018 Report Posted May 30, 2018 Actually, have orcs. Make them elveas that the fairies proper twisted for a joke or punishment. Quote
Red_Light_Zone Posted May 30, 2018 Report Posted May 30, 2018 Just now, Strange_idea said: Actually, have orcs. Make them elveas that the fairies proper twisted for a joke or punishment. I second this idea Quote
Strange_idea Posted May 30, 2018 Report Posted May 30, 2018 If you take your time and make things lead into each otger you can get away with more. By making orcs part of the elves you make it easier to takr in at once Quote
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