Writing a DP scene

[pippychick]

Well, I’m about ready to start. I don’t think I’ve written this before… it hardly matters even if I have, since I’m doing it with vastly different characters. If I had, it would have involved Nimbrethil, and she was dominant, but she definitely wasn’t a Brienne. Not at all. So...

I’ve done the usual oodles of research and stuff, so there’s a lot going through my mind as I attempt this, but if anyone has any tips at all on writing a good double penetration scene, here would be a good place to post them.

The biggest challenge, despite the mechanics, the preparation, etc is keeping these three in character throughout. I don’t see the opportunity for all that much dialogue, which is a bit of a bind. I mean, they’ll speak, obviously, but they’re clearly not going to be talking about anything or asking each other the time of day. Dialogue is usually the easiest way to establish character, which pretty much just leaves action, which is already a really busy area, description wise. Still, it should be quite easy to get Clegane in character there, since Brienne will be looking at him through most of it. Rather more difficult for Tormund. But then I suppose he could have more dialogue, as the instigator of this. You’d think Brienne would be easy, as the pov character, but I don’t think that’s going to be the case. This is going to be overwhelming for her, and having her in character in her thoughts isn’t enough anyway. She needs to display it outwardly.

Mind you, if ever there was a character likely to ask the time of day under these particular circumstances, it’d probably be her. Actually, I can hear her doing it…

But, yes… I’d be really grateful for any suggestions, hints, tips, etc. you guys have.

[BronxWench]

It’s an extraordinary sensation, DP is. I’m sort of assuming Clegane will be the bottom of the cookie, so to speak, with Brienne as the filling and Tormund topping the lot, which is good. He’d have the most experience with this, and he’ll be in the trickiest spot. But for Brienne, it will be an overload of sensation. There is an added level of stimulation from feeling both cocks moving in you, and pressing against each other, with you in the middle. If the men set up a slightly alternating rhythm, it’s absolutely breathtaking. It’s also incredibly empowering, because both males are going to be just as caught up in the sensory overload. They’ll be surrounded in tight heat, and feeling something big and hard pressing against them every time they move, or even breathe. 

I think you’re right about Clegane being easy to keep in character, and Tormund, too, since he seems a natural as a teacher, or guide, for them both. But Brienne? This is miles outside anything she would ever have dreamed of, and I think she will either let them know (“Move! No, don’t move!”), or be reduced to almost animalistic moans and grunts.

But really, this will be brilliant for her, and enormously fun to read, I suspect!

[Desiderius Price]

Writing a scene for me? 

- DP

 

[pippychick]

28 minutes ago, BronxWench said:

I’m sort of assuming Clegane will be the bottom of the cookie, so to speak, with Brienne as the filling and Tormund topping the lot, which is good. He’d have the most experience with this, and he’ll be in the trickiest spot. But for Brienne, it will be an overload of sensation. There is an added level of stimulation from feeling both cocks moving in you, and pressing against each other, with you in the middle. If the men set up a slightly alternating rhythm, it’s absolutely breathtaking.

*nods* Yes, I’m envisaging it that way around. Mostly because that way Clegane gets to have those favourite things of his well within reach. He’d like it best there. Edge of the bed might be best, so Tormund can have a foot on the floor, perhaps. It gives him more control if he’s going to be directing a lot of this. I haven’t been specific, but Clegane hasn’t done this before to my mind, so hopefully we can get to see him experiencing feeling Tormund moving alongside him, through Brienne’s eyes.

As for the movement, I think they’d really have to alternate at first anyway, just to ease her in or it’d be a bad experience for her. So it’ll be quite slow to start. Tormund’s got some lengthy kind of prep planned, but even with that, it’s going to be a lot for her to take. There’s a lot of pressure involved on entry, that’s the danger point, making sure she stays nice and relaxed for the beginning, because that’s where it can really hurt if you’re not careful. After that, it should become a lot easier. Luckily, I think she’s at ease enough with them both now, and Tormund is quite good at getting her to accept things. Plus he seems to undersand pacing quite well. He’ll also make sure she’s communicating at all times. Well, until she gets to the point of being completely non-verbal, lol. I don’t think she’s got any idea at all how much she’s going to like this. They keep having surprises lined up for her, don’t they?

Bronx, this is so helpful, everything you’ve said – thank you!

[pippychick]

32 minutes ago, Desiderius Price said:

Writing a scene for me? 

- DP

 

Ahhh… unfortunately not… and I think you’d be taking your life into your hands if you turned up in their universe and interrupted them right now, lol. The only reason I get away with it is because they have no idea whatsoever that I’m there… *g*

[JayDee]

A good amount of lube is never a bad idea with going around the back, and if Tormund from the TV show is built on the scale of Tormund Giantsbane from the books it’s gonna be necessary!

[pippychick]

27 minutes ago, JayDee said:

A good amount of lube is never a bad idea with going around the back, and if Tormund from the TV show is built on the scale of Tormund Giantsbane from the books it’s gonna be necessary!

I think he’s going to go with a good amount of lubrication at the back and the front, worked in nice and deep for a while. And all over the two of them before they start. Never too much for this.

Um… I seem to have made Clegane quite… well, kind of well proportioned too. *coughs, and gives Brienne an apologetic look*

She’ll be all right. I do have some power here. Although I have to admit I should probably have seen this coming right at the beginning. I didn’t, because I was too busy trying to solve the will they/won’t they slash issue that came up. By the time I’d done that, Tormund had already got it as a little ambition. And by ‘little ambition’ I do of course mean life goal. They’re all going to die. He wants this first, like the last meal of the condemned or something.

I’ll make him pay later. When they’re all in Tarth and he’s having to wander around half naked, and he can’t sleep at night because it’s too hot. She can laugh at him then. I really think he’ll hate it. The chances of these three being able to settle anywhere except the north are zero.

 

[pippychick]

Occurs to me as I’m writing this now that while the boys swear in their thoughts all the time, Brienne doesn’t even use the word ‘cock’ in her own mind. This is an extra challenge that I should probably have foreseen when I said in my AN: “Of course I’ll be continuing in Brienne’s pov!”

Bloodyhell… *sighs*

 

[pippychick]

Hi Anon

I write third person but usually pick a particular character and go with their pov for the length of a chapter or a scene. I wrote the scene from the woman’s perspective in the middle (i.e. she felt). But to be honest they enjoyed it – a lot – so they’re definitely going to be doing it again… and again... so if you have a male perspective on this (or any advice at all!), I’d be eternally grateful, since I write the boys’ pov much more often than I write hers.

While I didn’t originally envisage a lot of homoerotic content in this fic, it’s looking ever more likely that one of the guys will be in the middle at some point too. That’s a whole other set of things to think about, I’m sure.

At least they can’t do this in a tent on the road. There’s no way whatsoever that Brienne can stay quiet. No way. And I’m definitely not thinking it would be kind of funny to try it… *smirks* even if I know the other two characters are thinking exactly the same thing. She’d probably kill them. Literally. With her sword.