She is the One

[Guest Trey]

Love the stories can't wait for the next chapter hey jashley13 do you know what happen to bashful scribe

[that-one-guy]

hes still writing, was chatting to him on the other site. said it shouldnt be too long.

[Guest Mike Litoris]

Oh, and uhh... by the way, what I was referring to before was his habit of telling us exactly when and what time his stories were going to be posted, but in another language. Adds for some humour you guys clearly need.

[that-one-guy]

I got the referance, like when he would write morgen fruh

[Guest Anonymous]

Hm, well alrighty then.

Brad, while not being AS close with Jack as Joe was, was still his friend. And since Jack only had two good friends that he could talk to at the time of Brad's episode that wasn't related to him, I honestly don't blame him for being distraught at the fact that one of his friends that he's had all throughout his childhood suddenly hates him for who he is.

The thing with Kayla is kinda annoying, but it's realistic. What would you be thinking if your partner kissed/groped someone else? Yeah, Jack may say that he didn't know it was Tara, but does Kayla know that? And who's to say that Kayla doesn't forgive Jack so easily? I mean, it's possible, right? Kayla could decide to flat out hate him for a while, who knows?

As stated multiple times in the story, Craig didn't have any friends before the shit with Jack. Before, he didn't have a single reason to be nice to anyone. They all hated him, he hated everyone else, and him using girls was his way of making hinself feel better than everyone else. Now, he has actual friends, a girlfriend, and nobody really hates him. I'd say that's a good enough reason to be a nice guy.

As for Jack's parents, they still aren't all THAT happy about it, as you can imagine. Jack's Dad considered seperating his children even after saying that he was "alright" with it. Just because they say they're alright with it, doesn't mean they really are. And with Kayla? It's none of her business. It's got nothing to do with her, so...

Where was it stated that he hadn't had a single bad day of work? I'm sure he might have had one or two, but that's really trivial stuff. Not quite what a majority or readers really care about that much.

As for Kayla's pregnancy, who knows? Maybe she's already pregnant, maybe she just got lucky? Probably one of the small flaws I'll agree with.

And finally... Jashley13's stories and BashfulScribe's stories are arguably just as good as each other. Someone would prefer the plotline and theme in She Is The One, while another would prefer the writing style and execution of Being More Social. It's all a matter of opinion. (I'm 99% sure comparing the two stories is exactly what Bashful does NOT want to happen).

Of course, all of these points I've made can be easily argued against. But it's all an opinion, isn't it?

Alright, I guess I have to point out your logical fallacies, but this time I will also introduce some points regarding the 2-dimensional characters.

Firstly, what you say about Craig makes no sense. You can't use the effect to explain the cause: that's circular reasoning and it renders your point completely invalid. You say Craig is a nice guy because he has friends, but you justify it by saying that he made those friends by not being a douche anymore. That's the logical equivalent of saying "X equals Y because Y equals X".

Moving on to Jack's job: the "Jack not having a single bad day at work" argument is based on Jack's uncanny ability to always right wrongs and fix everything (With the exception of the coach, obviously, but I mentioned that in my last post). Jack turned Craig, his nemesis, into a friend. As soon as Brad turned to the dark side, Jack almost singlehandedly got rid of him. Jack made his parents and his girlfriend (of only a couple months, I might add) accept an incestuous relationship within his own family. Can Jack do no wrong? Obviously, kissing Tara was bad, but Jack never doubts himself for a second, immediately telling Kayla the truth, like the always-perfect, omniscient, wise-beyond-his-years white knight that he is.

Regarding the comparison between BashfulScribe and Jashley13, I know that that's not what Scribe wants: he wants to get out from under Jashley13's shadow so he can prosper as an individual.

By the way, saying "arguably" makes whatever follows it useless. NASA "arguably" didn't send people to the moon. You may think this is nonsense, but anything that can theoretically be argued against is "arguable".

I will now briefly touch on the two-dimensional nature of the characters. Jack makes mistakes, just like everyone else, but he always makes up for them by doing exactly what he should to fix them. Kayla has been the perfect teenage girlfriend since she broke up with craig. Alan, Amanda, and the parents are cardboard cutouts of the typical American family (excluding the ridiculous incest): the parents are forgiving and indulgent but can be "stern" when they need to be and Alan and Amanda are stereotypical angsty teens. Craig, when he was a villain, was 100% villain: never could he be expected to show his human side. Brad, after making the change to villainy, was 100% villain also. Jashley13 is hitting us over the head with a literary hammer, trying to make sure that we understand that Jack can do no wrong and that his enemies are minions of Satan.

I've had enough of thinking about this story for now, so I shall go, only to return when someone else makes an asinine, poorly-constructed argument against me.

-A reader

[Guest A readers critic]

Why don't you go find yourself another story to read if this one bothers you so much? Or better yet, why don't you post the link here to your "perfect" story?

I don't agree with any part of your assessment of this story and firmly believe you are wrong. But That's my opinion.

[Guest Pete]

I don't see the purpose for the asinine feedback towards the story. If you don't like it, by all means, don't. But there is no need for you to very rudely make critism about it. I didn't like certain parts of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, but I didn't write to Peter Jackson saying "I mean not to offend you but you have ruined the work of Tolkien" because it's just immature and mostly likely wouldn't be seen. The only difference here is that it most likely will be. I mean it's better than you trolling children in video games, but this scenario of critisism only benefits you by getting gratification of being rude. There is no reason you can't keep them to yourself. You would likely argue that it was for constructive purposes, but I sincerely doubt that. 'Arguably' and 'Poorly Constructed' are clear indicators that you intend to see a negative reaction or response from the person of who's opinion (which argued yours I might add) you didn't agree with, and you'll justify my basis of calling you out on being insulting on your self imposed opinion of the word 'intelligence'. And that creates a clear impression on what you want the author to experience after reading your comment. You again could argue that at the beginning of your statement you said it wasn't intended to offend, but having been the immature guy on forums myself in the past, it's just a way to cover your own ass in situations such as myself rebutting your point. There are so many points I could continue to deconstruct from your comment to point out why you are just looking for a reaction, I could probably delve into your psychology from how you've written it and discuss your issues of attention deficiency and cynicalism, but there is no point. Two points to end my rant. If you have a negative opinion, just keep it to yourself unless it has a constructive purpose. It just makes you look like an ass and I can't imagine the writer with 70,000 views will take much on board from it, other than a disinterest in reading your comments in the future. And yes, I'm being rude, obnoxious and down right insulting in this post. It's downright hypocritical. But it's not because I expect a emotional response from you, it's because like you I am very opinionated, but mine is towards the negativity you produce rather than the story itself. If you can dish it you can take it. And I'd rather not get a response from you, not because I have an insatiable need to get the last word in edge ways, it's just because I'd far prefer you took this on board constructively rather than try and justify behaviour I'm never going to agree with.

Sincerely,

A Reader, to, A Reader.

[Guest conman]

Hey guyz

I have followed She is the one from ch 2 itself and i'm a huge fan of his stories. I have also read all critics and encouragements to him. As you all know both jashley13 and bashful scribe takes a lot of time in writing next chapter, i want to know what other sequels are as great as these to you know pass the time of wait. Pls Post The Links

I READ THREE

JASHLEY13

BASHFULL SCRIBE

CHRIS AND CHRISTIE BY THE BLACKKNIGHT LINK BELOW

http://www.sexstories.com/profile732740/theblackknight

[Guest daddy's girl]

Alright, I guess I have to point out your logical fallacies, but this time I will also introduce some points regarding the 2-dimensional characters.

Firstly, what you say about Craig makes no sense. You can't use the effect to explain the cause: that's circular reasoning and it renders your point completely invalid. You say Craig is a nice guy because he has friends, but you justify it by saying that he made those friends by not being a douche anymore. That's the logical equivalent of saying "X equals Y because Y equals X".

Moving on to Jack's job: the "Jack not having a single bad day at work" argument is based on Jack's uncanny ability to always right wrongs and fix everything (With the exception of the coach, obviously, but I mentioned that in my last post). Jack turned Craig, his nemesis, into a friend. As soon as Brad turned to the dark side, Jack almost singlehandedly got rid of him. Jack made his parents and his girlfriend (of only a couple months, I might add) accept an incestuous relationship within his own family. Can Jack do no wrong? Obviously, kissing Tara was bad, but Jack never doubts himself for a second, immediately telling Kayla the truth, like the always-perfect, omniscient, wise-beyond-his-years white knight that he is.

Regarding the comparison between BashfulScribe and Jashley13, I know that that's not what Scribe wants: he wants to get out from under Jashley13's shadow so he can prosper as an individual.

By the way, saying "arguably" makes whatever follows it useless. NASA "arguably" didn't send people to the moon. You may think this is nonsense, but anything that can theoretically be argued against is "arguable".

I will now briefly touch on the two-dimensional nature of the characters. Jack makes mistakes, just like everyone else, but he always makes up for them by doing exactly what he should to fix them. Kayla has been the perfect teenage girlfriend since she broke up with craig. Alan, Amanda, and the parents are cardboard cutouts of the typical American family (excluding the ridiculous incest): the parents are forgiving and indulgent but can be "stern" when they need to be and Alan and Amanda are stereotypical angsty teens. Craig, when he was a villain, was 100% villain: never could he be expected to show his human side. Brad, after making the change to villainy, was 100% villain also. Jashley13 is hitting us over the head with a literary hammer, trying to make sure that we understand that Jack can do no wrong and that his enemies are minions of Satan.

I've had enough of thinking about this story for now, so I shall go, only to return when someone else makes an asinine, poorly-constructed argument against me.

-A reader

If you don't like this story than find another one and let us enjoy we like it and take your ass from here to another story

lots of love and big hug

love your story joe

[DemonGoddess]

@Guest_daddy's girl_* -

Something to keep in mind is that the poster above you offered what he or she felt was legitimate concrit. Most authors LIKE it, as it helps them in their writing. Because someone leaves a comment that isn't all hearts and flowers, doesn't mean the comment is any less legitimate, nor does it mean you tell that person to find another story because YOU disagree.

[angeldust]

Thank-you DG, I could see daddy girl's response if the posting had been rough & critical to an extreme. Writer's, as you said, appreciate input even if it points out things that we might not have thought of. Hell some folks make a living out of criticizing stories, plays, films, etc. and they're not all camdy coated.

[Guest conman]

Hey guyz

I posted earlier about links to few good sequels but the post was ignored. So could you plz give some LINKS.

As present conversation goes,

I personally want to be a professional writer and so i write few stories and show it to few well wishers. Personally i would want them to give me honest reviews after all it helps me improve and it is not necessary to consider every review important as it is and always will be your imagination. There is also no need to ask others to stop posting their thoughts, it is for jashley to consider them..

Thanks guyz and pls don't forget the links...

[Jashley13]

Intermission song from Les Miserables

[Guest Jack Francis]

Please put it up... The wait is unbearable

[Guest Anonymous]

Dear "Pete"

Although you have completely misinterpreted my last post (your grammar makes your writing nigh-on unintelligible, so I can't be sure), I would love to receive a psychological analysis from you. Now, the fact that your only evidence for this analysis is three posts to an online forum will certainly complicate things for you. Fortunately, I'm sure you are well-versed in psychoanalytic theory (despite not knowing that "cynicalism" isn't a word), and I would love to have you fix my horribly broken life, which you obviously know everything about.

Also, if you were telling the truth about being an internet troll (I doubt you were: I imagine you thought that if you said that then, I, too, would convert to the "good" side like you have), you would know that telling someone to stop posting their opinions is quite possibly the worst way to get them to stop.

By the way, thank you for providing me with the asinine, poorly-constructed counterargument I mentioned in my last post. I like debating, even if my opponents don't think before they reply.

-A reader

P.S. Do you know what asinine means? I only ask because you tried to use it to describe my argument, which obviously doesn't fit the definition of asinine. Thanks for trying, though: I appreciate the effort to improve your vocabulary by learning from me.

[Guest Dave]

#GetRekt

[Guest Anonymous]

Also, thank you to DemonGoddes061, angeldust, and conman for realizing that my initial comment was intended to inform the author about some things that he should consider, not to hurt anyone. My intention was not to start a flame war, but some people hear honest criticism and think it's hate-filled nonsense, and there's nothing I can do about that.

-A reader

[that-one-guy]

One day more

[Guest Fan_of_Jashley13]

Damn, "Pete" got his ass handed to him just like that other guy before him. "A reader" is unstoppable! Also, he wasn't immature at all. He didn't swear or say anything offensive,, so he shouldn't have to leave.

[Guest Jwatson]

Uuuuuuuuggnng. I'm dying of anticipation!

[BronxWench]

I don't see the purpose for the asinine feedback towards the story. If you don't like it, by all means, don't. But there is no need for you to very rudely make critism about it. I didn't like certain parts of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, but I didn't write to Peter Jackson saying "I mean not to offend you but you have ruined the work of Tolkien" because it's just immature and mostly likely wouldn't be seen. The only difference here is that it most likely will be. I mean it's better than you trolling children in video games, but this scenario of critisism only benefits you by getting gratification of being rude. There is no reason you can't keep them to yourself. You would likely argue that it was for constructive purposes, but I sincerely doubt that. 'Arguably' and 'Poorly Constructed' are clear indicators that you intend to see a negative reaction or response from the person of who's opinion (which argued yours I might add) you didn't agree with, and you'll justify my basis of calling you out on being insulting on your self imposed opinion of the word 'intelligence'. And that creates a clear impression on what you want the author to experience after reading your comment. You again could argue that at the beginning of your statement you said it wasn't intended to offend, but having been the immature guy on forums myself in the past, it's just a way to cover your own ass in situations such as myself rebutting your point. There are so many points I could continue to deconstruct from your comment to point out why you are just looking for a reaction, I could probably delve into your psychology from how you've written it and discuss your issues of attention deficiency and cynicalism, but there is no point. Two points to end my rant. If you have a negative opinion, just keep it to yourself unless it has a constructive purpose. It just makes you look like an ass and I can't imagine the writer with 70,000 views will take much on board from it, other than a disinterest in reading your comments in the future. And yes, I'm being rude, obnoxious and down right insulting in this post. It's downright hypocritical. But it's not because I expect a emotional response from you, it's because like you I am very opinionated, but mine is towards the negativity you produce rather than the story itself. If you can dish it you can take it. And I'd rather not get a response from you, not because I have an insatiable need to get the last word in edge ways, it's just because I'd far prefer you took this on board constructively rather than try and justify behaviour I'm never going to agree with.

Sincerely,

A Reader, to, A Reader.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and hazard a guess that you're not a writer.

The thing is, we learn from our mistakes. As a writer, I get more from well thought out constructive criticism such as Anonymous offered than I do from being told how awesome I am. I'm good enough to have gotten a couple of things picked up by a publisher, but it was listening to readers telling me what I got wrong that helped me improve.

My editor doesn't care about my delicate feelings. Editors are brutal, but if I listen to them, and keep my whining to a minimum, I wind up with a truly outstanding book. That's because there's no room for the thin-skinned when it comes to writing. And if Jashley13 isn't complaining to me about being flamed, then I think you can rest easy and not castigate Anonymous for doing what every writer hopes for.

[Guest JohnnyBanana]

What's the intermission song from les miserables?!

[Guest Anonymous]

I think i liked it better when we didnt know when it was coming out lol the anticipation is killin me

[Guest Mike Litoris]

Urgh. So much anticipation, so little patience. Can't wait for the next Chapter.

[Guest conman]

It's only 12 noon of saturday at my place and i would have checked for the chapter at least 30 times.