She is the One

[Mr_Fairplay]

@Joe Long, sent you a PM, check it out man.

[Guest Akamu]

Are there any age restrictions here? In bashful's latest chapter he wrote that Adam is 14 and Megan had been 13 when she did stuff.

I doubt it - if I remember correctly, Magusfang's main kid characters in the Boy/Girls/Shadows in the Grass stories are/were about the same age, and he's been able to post 130+ chapters...

By the way, how goes Chapter 7 of your story?

[Joe Long]

I doubt it - if I remember correctly, Magusfang's main kid characters in the Boy/Girls/Shadows in the Grass stories are/were about the same age, and he's been able to post 130+ chapters...

By the way, how goes Chapter 7 of your story?

Chapter 7 is past half, there's about four scenes left. I've been so busy with other stuff.

Meanwhile, I went back to the beginning and started doing a serious rewrite, and will re-release the new and improved version. Nothing's changed, but hopefully the story is told better.

I've tried to take out things not as pertinent to the plot, cut out the narrator telling the readers stuff (let me tell you about my dad...) and replaced those with new scenes that let the characters act it out and tell each other the same info. A much more satisfying way to tell the story.

I will post chapter 1 here in a few weeks and start my own forum so I don't hog up someone else's forum.

[Chester57]

Meanwhile, I went back to the beginning and started doing a serious rewrite, and will re-release the new and improved version. Nothing's changed, but hopefully the story is told better.

I've tried to take out things not as pertinent to the plot, cut out the narrator telling the readers stuff (let me tell you about my dad...) and replaced those with new scenes that let the characters act it out and tell each other the same info. A much more satisfying way to tell the story.

I will post chapter 1 here in a few weeks and start my own forum so I don't hog up someone else's forum.

I haven't started on your story yet, Joe, so I'll wait for the re-write since you feel it will be better.

[Joe Long]

I haven't started on your story yet, Joe, so I'll wait for the re-write since you feel it will be better.

Just this morning had a beta reader give a thumbs up to chapter 1, so now it's mostly down to editing. Soon.

[Guest John]

Great story

[Guest Akamu]

Just found Jordeso's "Kinky Vanilla" series on XNXX, and he has some serious talent: http://www.sexstories.com/profile833988/jordeso

[Joe Long]

Just remembered, had wanted to say that Ranch goes great on steak. One of my favorite wraps is to take a large tortilla, lay a couple slices of roast beef on it and a slice or two of provolone. Heat in microwave for 3o seconds. Top with a handful of salad mix and some ranch dressing. Wrap tight and enjoy.

[Mr_Fairplay]

I know it's been a while since anyone posted a theory, but something just occurred to me, Joe had a crush on Brad, he also is in a relationship with Belle and by the looks and general consensus of it, he's crushing on Sam as well. Let's say it's Brad who comes back, will Joe show a reaction?

[thismy]

I know it's been a while since anyone posted a theory, but something just occurred to me, Joe had a crush on Brad, he also is in a relationship with Belle and by the looks and general consensus of it, he's crushing on Sam as well. Let's say it's Brad who comes back, will Joe show a reaction?

I was just thinking about some stuff.

I'm not really seeing that though. I think Joe made it clear to Jack that he was done with Brad. But who knows.

[thismy]

Damn page reloaded. Was near the end of my long post. Fuck. This second one might not be as articulate.

I have a couple points on the last chapter. There were some sections that didn't seem right in context with the rest of the chapter, and the story as a whole.

First, I didn't like the skating rink incident. In the midst of a much larger problem, Jack is, once again, slammed (literally) by another incident. It didn't fit the tone of the chapter. It fit the overall "Jack gets beat to shit." Tone that this story sometimes carries, but not that of the chapter. It seemed force, and I don't understand what the need for it was. Maybe Joe was basing it off real events. I don't know. Just didn't work for me.

My second gripe was Jack's annoyance with Kayla not wanting to have sex. That, in my opinion, was very "not Jack." In general, he's a good guy, and he works with and understands Kayla. But at that point, he went "full douche", like I don't remember him doing before. Sure, he's a horny teenage guy who's not some perfect idealist, but he's usually better than that. In lieu of the whole situation, he should have been more rational about the fact that, "hey, I just had sex with my cousin and now my girlfriend's uncomfortable about having se near her and its only been a couple of days since the incident." Instead he's like "fuck her, what a bitch for not helping me get off." (That's how if came off to me, obviously not how Jack thought it)

Those two things just didn't work for me.

[Joe Long]

My second gripe was Jack's annoyance with Kayla not wanting to have sex. That, in my opinion, was very "not Jack." In general, he's a good guy, and he works with and understands Kayla. But at that point, he went "full douche", like I don't remember him doing before. Sure, he's a horny teenage guy who's not some perfect idealist, but he's usually better than that. In lieu of the whole situation, he should have been more rational about the fact that, "hey, I just had sex with my cousin and now my girlfriend's uncomfortable about having se near her and its only been a couple of days since the incident." Instead he's like "fuck her, what a bitch for not helping me get off." (That's how if came off to me, obviously not how Jack thought it)

Well, Jack is still 16 (for a few more days). He may outwardly accept that Kayla doesn't want to have sex, but that doesn't mean that he has to be all sunshine and roses on the inside with it. As he is the narrator, we see his thoughts where we can't know the thoughts of others unless they show them to others, especially Jack.

[Chester57]

First, I didn't like the skating rink incident. In the midst of a much larger problem, Jack is, once again, slammed (literally) by another incident. It didn't fit the tone of the chapter. It fit the overall "Jack gets beat to shit." Tone that this story sometimes carries, but not that of the chapter. It seemed force, and I don't understand what the need for it was. Maybe Joe was basing it off real events. I don't know. Just didn't work for me.

Joe WAS basing it off real events. Namely, the most common of real-life events-- shit happens. I think the accidental collision served a purpose by driving Tara into a screaming rage after seeing Jack slapped around. The incident helped get her out of the miserable funk she'd been in for days.

[thismy]

Well, Jack is still 16 (for a few more days). He may outwardly accept that Kayla doesn't want to have sex, but that doesn't mean that he has to be all sunshine and roses on the inside with it. As he is the narrator, we see his thoughts where we can't know the thoughts of others unless they show them to others, especially Jack.

But the problem here is that if you say, or do, one thing, and think another, that's not a good thing to build on. (Bare with me here). Now of course, this isn't the case in all, or nearly all situations. Obviously, you comply with your boss, your SO, your mother, ect, and may be thinking another thing a lot times. But when in a committed relationship, especially on an issue that is one of the main parts of that relationship, thoughts become words. Yes, Jack is allowed to not like that Kayla feels awkward, he's allowed to be annoyed. What I'm saying is that he shouldn't have, or he should have voiced his problem. I'm criticizing Jack for being bothered by not being able to have sex for two days. There are a lot of other problems connected here. Jack has the right to be mad about Kayla not liking the threesome when she instigated it. (Whoops, I think I just beat my own logic there) but Jack should be able to handle it. That's what I think at least.

[Joe Long]

Jack should be able to handle it. That's what I think at least.

Jack's a human. He's a male. He's 16. Joe hasn't released the next chapter yet (there may be consequences for dickish behavior)

Sometimes the mouth runs faster than the brain, even for those of us past 50. And many times I let my wife know I'm annoyed at something even though I allow it to happen. I have a little routine. She tells me something that will likely cost me time, money or both. I know it's for a good cause, or there's no way I can get out. So I'll say something like "oooh kaaay, grumble, grumble". Sometimes I have to remind her that I said yes, I'm just whining.

[Guest No_One]

I don't think it was just that Kayla said no to sex. I think Jack's frustrated with everything and sex was just what he chose to strongly react to. He's frustrated that he was (not quite but kind of) forced to do the threesome, frustrated that he couldn't pleasure both girls to the bet of his ability, frustrated about their reaction, frustrated that nothing really went the way he hoped it would. Then he thinks maybe sex would help (this is a crappy situation and anything that could possibly help is a sign of relief for Jack) and he's shut down. It's not just the no to sex that caused the reaction but the entire situation. That's just my two cents, though.

[Joe Long]

NO_One, I think you nailed it.

Alto, we have to give the author some degree of trust;. After 34 chapters and 700,000 or so words, we the audience do know the characters very, very wll - but only Joe knows what coming in the next chapter or two. Somebody may do something that's not like them, but it could be setting up something in the next chapter. Acting uncharacteristically can also come back to bite them in the ass. In most cases, we might have to give a chapter or two grace period before we can raise legit questions of a character's actions.

[thismy]

NO_One, I think you nailed it.

Alto, we have to give the author some degree of trust;. After 34 chapters and 700,000 or so words, we the audience do know the characters very, very wll - but only Joe knows what coming in the next chapter or two. Somebody may do something that's not like them, but it could be setting up something in the next chapter. Acting uncharacteristically can also come back to bite them in the ass. In most cases, we might have to give a chapter or two grace period before we can raise legit questions of a character's actions.

Yeah, I guess so.

This is something to look at too. The conversation they need to have hasn't happened yet. They've discussed things about the threesome, but they haven't really discussed it. Read here:

Jack is frustrated about the situation. While he says "I'm the one with the dick" to Tara, he is still frustrated and angry. We've seen the window into his mind. While I still stand by my point about the frustration with Kayla not having sex, I do see the other things piling into this. Whether or not he will ever admit it, Jack probably feels as though he was trapped in a corner on the issue. The girls waited to get him "hot and bothered." So he's angry at Kayla and Tara about that. He's upset because, no matter how much he loves Tara, he had sex with his cousin. He's angry at Kayla for saying that he was ok, then jumping ship. This has all been pointed out by other people here. It's a shit storm. Someone's gotta clean that shit up eventually. All they've done so far is get out an umbrella and push the shit aside with their shoes.

The grace period is coming to an end. Another chapter, and this shit all spills over. I agree here with Joe Long. So I see where Jack's frustration is just, and where it adds to the story. I guess I'll see how it all adds up. There's a lot they have to talk about, and they'll probably approach it as teenagers do, in some sort of stutter steped or irrational way. But Jack is almost 17. They're maturing. (or they should be)

They're getting along better, and at the end of the last chapter, Jack thinks it could almost be like normal again. But when it all comes to face, we'll see how well they get along.

[Mr_Fairplay]

Oh boy, looks like all of us came back from hibernation, huh? I'm just kidding.

I agree with the assumption that Jack's dickish behavior is a combination of everything that he faced, first the threesome, his performance, the reaction of the girls...Kayla turning sex down is just icing on the cake, it's not the cause itself merely it is a small part of many. When the summer saga began, Jack wanted nothing more to relax, chill out, hang out with Tara and Kayla and fuck the latter's brain out (multiple times), but what he got instead was an emotional shit storm, a cluster fuck if you will, Jack's been through a lot in the last chapters and now he's nearing his breaking point, the annoyance is just the first sign of that.

[Joe Long]

Right, Jack wasn't merely upset that he went two days without sex (if he thinks that's bad, wait unil he's married!), but why he didn't get any - Kayla said she wasn't interested! That may have never happened before.

[Joe Long]

The trip to the cabin is over. Jack, Kayla and Tara look forward to returning home and getting on with 'normal' life, with the threesome behind them. New adventures will arise once they start interacting with all their friends and work mates.

But it's still under the surface, a thorn in the flesh, and as soon as some shit goes sideways Kayla is going to be in full PMS mode. Seriously, I think it will take her awhile to be comfortable being intimate with Jack. It will be a problem.

Tara, like she did in the roller rink, may be susceptible to meltdowns, where the anger just lets loose. She still hasn't figured out what she really wants in life, the quest that led her to the threesome.

[thismy]

But it's still under the surface, a thorn in the flesh, and as soon as some shit goes sideways Kayla is going to be in full PMS mode. Seriously, I think it will take her awhile to be comfortable being intimate with Jack. It will be a problem.

Tara, like she did in the roller rink, may be susceptible to meltdowns, where the anger just lets loose. She still hasn't figured out what she really wants in life, the quest that led her to the threesome.

I have a feeling Tara may find someone soon. A good guy that will sweep her of her feet. I don't know how soon it'll be, but I think it's coming. Will Jack have any resentment? In the chapter where Tara moves in, Jack mentions that the thought of Tara being with someone irked him, though he wasn't sure why. Jack implied that Tara has had a fair amount of it sex before. Not that she's a slut, but that she's willing to get involved quickly, it seems. Will she be nervous or feel weird about sex now? Also, we she get angry at her perfect man for seemingly no reason? Like Joe Long said here, she probably has a lot of anger that needs to be released.

Also, in the situation with Kayla, I agree as well. I think that when something bad happens, Kayla will lose it. Flip out on a massive scale. Maybe at Tara, who knows?

[Joe Long]

So far in her young life Tara has confused love and sex. She isn't the first teen girl to do that. She wanted sex from Jack to know what it's like to be with someone who treats her right.

Tara, here's the memo: Forget about the sex. Keep looking until you find a guy who's sweet and treats you right. Then you can think of rewarding him with some honey. Don't get the cart before the horse.

Once she realizes that truth, she can settle down and have a satisfying relationship. And Jack can feel jealous.

[Guest Guest]

I think Kayla is coming home to a broken home. Her parents' fued just left too many questions unanswered.

[Guest Dark]

Considering the comments, it seems that either this chapter or the one after, shit will hit the fan. Hopefully not as bad as the last saga.