GrayNeko's Review Response and Discussion Thread

[Guest]

Yeah, the idea of a potentially successful Friends with Benefits relationship is what really turned this from a one shot about Star and Marco getting together into what will be multiple chapters that are who knows how long. I'm glad you liked it.

I did like it, but if I may, I feel like you can tap into the same vein you did with your Ben/Charmcaster setup and really run away with this, generally withholding outright trauma for the time being. You did such a good job playing with the alien environment of the island, and I think you can do an equally good job with the magical nature and multidimensional playground Star Vs offers you.

It's my hope that's the power you'll bring to play, anyway.

Edit: Boom, post 1 of page 6.

Edited September 2, 2015 by ForgetMeNaught

[GrayNeko]

And for discovering the region known as Page 6 I award you the Literary Explorer's Medal, wear it proudly good sir. But honestly, thanks for the feedback and suggestion. I hadn't really considered that idea but I could easily work it in with something else I had planned. It definitely opens many interesting doors in terms of character interaction. Thanks again and I'll do my best when it comes time to work on it.

In the mean time, I've started a fan raffle on my HF account since I just recently reached the 100 fan milestone, only took me seven years but I ain't complaining. I'm giving away a story of the winner's choice so expect a stand alone from me in the future as well. Oh, and if anyone is interested in joining the raffle let me know and I'll post a link.

[Guest]

And for discovering the region known as Page 6 I award you the Literary Explorer's Medal, wear it proudly good sir. But honestly, thanks for the feedback and suggestion. I hadn't really considered that idea but I could easily work it in with something else I had planned. It definitely opens many interesting doors in terms of character interaction. Thanks again and I'll do my best when it comes time to work on it.

In the mean time, I've started a fan raffle on my HF account since I just recently reached the 100 fan milestone, only took me seven years but I ain't complaining. I'm giving away a story of the winner's choice so expect a stand alone from me in the future as well. Oh, and if anyone is interested in joining the raffle let me know and I'll post a link.

A medal? Bitchin. Gaze upon me with utter jealousy, ye stupids.

As for the raffle... Yeah, why not? Throw it out there, my man. Who wouldn't dig a chance to win?

[GrayNeko]

My 100 Fan Raffle.

[GrayNeko]

Harem Lover 2015-09-04 id # 3000070852

If you make another chapter to this i think Marco should have a threesome with Star and Jackie

While that is definitely a possibility down the road, we're a ways from that. After all, there are five whole condoms they have to get through and who knows what kind of high jinx will ensue to mark those special occasions. But seriously, like I've said, this whole thing snowballed into something much bigger than what I intended, but since it seems to help keep my writing flowing I don't mind so much.

[GrayNeko]

Swindle 2015-09-27 id # 3000070910

Now this was just amazing. I love myself some long in depth in character smut.

Any idea on when's the next chapter upload?

Thank you very much. I love writing in depth in character smut. As for when the next chapter will be up I have to finish the piece ForgetMeNaught won in my fan raffle on HF and once that's up I think I'll jump back to either my Ben 10 piece or this as I've got ideas rattling around in my head for both and I can't wait to get to them.

[GrayNeko]

Fairy-Slayer 2015-09-30 id # 3000070918

This was a super fun story. I love how you captured Marco's uncertainty about Star's seriousness with the punishment issues, then also how she led him along into all that sexy business. Great work on the natural way it developed and then how hot all of the various sex scenes were. On top of that the bits about Marco's uncertainty about their relationship is really cute too, and Star's way of motivating him to get further with Jackie is quite wonderful (for both of them, I'm sure). I really enjoyed it all. Thanks.

Thanks for your great comments FS. I'm glad you found it so entertaining and I hope you continue to do so with future chapters. It's good to hear you thought the development felt natural, it's always one of my concerns with my work so I really appreciate seeing that. Star and Marco's relationship is probably going to be the most fun thing to develop but probably because it might get a little rocky along the way. Once again thanks for your review.

[GrayNeko]

Little Red Riding Gwen Review

Adrian 2015-10-10 id # 3000070960

it's stores like this one that makes me wish we had a favorite system on this site. 10 out of 5

Well thank you very much Adrian, glad you liked the give away story I did. I too wish the favorite system of this site was a little less complicated, it's kind of a pain to add anything to the recommended reading section. Appreciate the super score!

ForgetMeNaught 2015-10-10 id # 3000070961

It is smexier a second time!

High five.

I'm so glad you like it man. It was such a great prompt that you gave me and while this was my first time writing for a piece for someone else I've never had so much fun working on a piece. High five right back at ya!

Edited October 10, 2015 by GrayNeko

[Guest]

Glad to review. And check it out, nearly 2k hits in a couple of days time. Not too shabby, GN!

[GrayNeko]

Adrian 2015-10-12 id # 3000070968

as I said before I wish this site had faves on it but it doesn't so I went over to HF to add it to my faves there but couldn't find it. was it posted there after the contest was done or just given to the winner?

Unfortunately HF no longer allows content containing underage characters, it's the reason I found my way here in the first place (for which I'm quite glad as I've received some great responses and chatted with plenty of fine folk), so the story there simply contains a link to the story here. If you're willing to jump through a couple of hoops you can add this work to your Recommended Reading section of your profile, just click your My Control Panel and go to your Add Rec Reading button. You have to put in some vital info like title, author name, and the appropriate ID number but that last part can just be copy and pasted from your address bar when on those pages. Again, I'm glad you like the story and I wish it was a little easier for you to show your appreciation but that's the best I can give you.

[GrayNeko]

Guest 2015-10-15 id # 3000070976

Great story, I really liked it!! What does HF stand for? I'm curious.

DemiDemon 2015-10-15 id # 3000070977

I like it, it's different and sort of has a mystical sense to it, if that makes any sense. Anyway, it's a good story, though I have a question. What does HF stand for?

Thank you both for your comments and to answer your question, HF stands for Hentai Foundry, an adult art site that also includes erotic literature and adult fan fiction. It went through a purge of all material with underage characters.

[Guest DemiDemon]

He!! I loved Little Red Riding Gwen, but what's HF stand for?

[GrayNeko]

He!! I loved Little Red Riding Gwen, but what's HF stand for?

Dude I love your enthusiasm but if you had taken a moment to look you'd see I've already answered that question in the post right above yours.

[Guest srg09]

I have one small question for you is there a place where I can get your story on PDF files??

So I can get save it on my pad and read it even when not connected to internet

thanks for your time

[GrayNeko]

Sorry, there is not. I'm not very well versed with anything other than Microsoft Word so that's all I use. You might be want to see if someone else around here knows of a way to help.

[GrayNeko]

Fairy-Slayer 2015-10-27 id # 3000071011

That was a fun little tale and an interesting effect that Gwen's cycle had on the alien. Great use of his/its instincts to bring Gwen to such beautifully-described pleasures, and the details about both the sexual responses and what was going on around them were great. Also that hopeful bit about "practicing just in case" at the end was a sweet touch too.

The inclusion of her cycle is all thanks to ForgetMeNaught, it was one of the details included in the prompt that just worked out so well. I'm glad you liked the details and descriptions so much, I strive to show, not tell, the reader and I feel that's always tricky with sex since everyone's sexual experience is unique. As for the ending, I was quite happy with how that came out, mostly because FMN's details for what he wanted really helped inspire that bit.

[GrayNeko]

Darrius Mcgavock 2015-10-29 id # 3000071015

Hello my name is Darrius and I want you to please continue updating your story it's getting better and better now that I can't wait till you update your story but yeah Please continue to update your fanfiction it's getting better and better now so please continue to updating please and thank you.

Hi Darrius, thanks for the kind words. I hope you mean my other works like A Charmed Life or Extradimensional Besties are the Best! because otherwise I'm gonna have to break your heart by informing you that Little Red Riding Gwen was a one shot piece since it was a prize won by ForgetMeNaught in my 100 Fans Milestone raffle that I held over on Hentai Foundry. If you did mean my other works or just my writing in general then have no worries, I'm working on the next chapter of my Star vs the Forces of Evil piece currently and will jump back to A Charmed Life once I get that done. Here's a little spoiler for those who are interested, the next chapter of my Star piece is going to feature Janna.

Edit:

Hey Darrius, still appreciate the support but the review you put up on Extradimensional Besties are the Best! was identical to this one and not to sound inconsiderate but if you don't have something to say about the piece itself I'd rather you just give me an upvote to show your support. I just feel like the review section should be saved for genuine comments, not spamming the same message.

Edited October 30, 2015 by GrayNeko

[GrayNeko]

Something for all you turkey chompers out there to chew on while you digest your Thanksgiving day meals, the latest chapter of my Star vs piece is up! Have a good holiday folks!

[GrayNeko]

Hey just wanted to share a little something an anon over on /aco/ whipped up while we were chatting about the latest chapter.

Edit: The lovely anon also colored it

Edited November 30, 2015 by GrayNeko

[GrayNeko]

Another review for Little Red Riding Gwen:

Eduardo 2015-12-11 id # 3000071106

Te felicito, es una buena historia, ojala hallan mas capitulos

This marks my first Spanish review, me gusta! Anyway, for those of us not fluent in Spanish Google translates it as:

"I congratulate you, it's a good story, hopefully are more chapters"

Thank you Eduardo, I'm glad you liked it. Sadly it is a one shot piece, as much fun as it was to write.

[GrayNeko]

Review for Extradimensional Besties:

Fairy-Slayer 2015-12-18 id # 3000071122

Chapter two was quite an intriguing and very sexy (times three... or four? I lost count) twist to the sordid tale. Maybe Star's "conditioning" of him is working a bit too well, or perhaps he's just such a sweet and wonderful guy that everyone wants to help him achieve his goal.

First off, nice way to ease into the situation without telling all of the day's events in order or even full detail. I think the way you filled in the information fit nicely and didn't confuse me as to the chronology at all, plus the timing worked when Marco finally checked his messages. Sneaky Janna was funny and cute. You did a wonderful job with Marco's attempt at deception regarding the J, and the idea that Janna is turned on by the idea of Marco and Star is fantastic; actually, I get the feeling that was what drove Janna to choose this particular "price" for her silence, though it's pretty clear what she's planning.

... or are you going to surprise us somehow? There's still this curse thing going on or something...

So yes, it was a deliciously steamy chapter but also had some great character development and story advancement. I eagerly look forward to what's next.

Fairy, a review from you is such a welcome treat. I'm glad you found this latest chapter so enjoyable on multiple fronts and that slow reveal about the day's events was so well received. I'm sure your hunch about Janna's plans isn't far off but I still hope I can surprise you with future installments, hopefully in part thanks to advice and suggestions I've received from other readers. Also the thing with the curse will become clear in time. Once again thanks for such a great review.

Edited December 19, 2015 by GrayNeko

[GrayNeko]

Charmed Life Review:

Shadowkat 2016-01-19 id # 3000071183

Good story hope to read more soon.

Thank you, I've actually been working on it a little now that the holidays are well and over.

[GrayNeko]

Extradimensional Besties Review:

BR42 2016-01-22 id # 3000071191

I recently came across both chapters of this fic and was really impressed with it. The writing is excellent; high quality writing is a rarity among fanfic but especially among mature fic, making this story stand out all the more. Additionally, the characters' dialogue and actions are thematic (once you allow for the smut), with a good streak of humor throughout. It's really good, is what I'm saying.

On top of all that, I liked the fact that the fic played up one of the strengths of the show: Star and Marco have romantic interests beyond one another. That's great and is allowing the author to bring in other characters and, if they want, tell a longer and more varied story. Plus, Jenna in this fic is a trouble-maker and a voyeur. That's creative and much more interesting than her usual treatment as a stalker or silver medal.

Also, the smut is top-quality. Just, really great. And the author does a good job keeping the wit and energy of the fic going alongside the explicit content.

I sincerely look forward to more chapters of this fic and plan to check out more from this author as well. GrayNeko, thanks for writing all this and keep up the good work.

I'm so glad you're enjoying this so far and I appreciate all the kind words. It's great to hear that people like the idea of Star and Marco pursuing other people romantically because I agree that it is a strength of the show. Instead of a 'will they? won't they?' scenario where we are teased with the possibility we're pretty much told they will after "Blood Moon Ball" and now we're just enjoying the ride until they get there, and it's not like it said they have to get together right away either, just that their souls are bound together so they could chase others, even fall in love for a time before their drawn back together, so like you said it gives me room for a more varied story.

As for Janna, I love lurking on the Weekend Star threads over on /co/ on 4chan, those guys have built some of the craziest head cannons and interpretations of characters and their Janna love has rubbed off on me some.

I'm always relieved to hear the sex flows with the story rather than detracts, I strive to make it a continuation of the story rather than a point where the plot stops so characters can mash genitals together. Once again thanks for enjoying my work and thank you so much for your review!

[GrayNeko]

GeorgeGlass 2016-03-12 id # 3000071328

I'm liking this so far. Although I didn't quite buy Star's use of coercion to get Marco to play along, I thought their encounter was hot (and Star's choice of underwear seemed very in-character). You paint a very believable picture of Janna in chapter 2; I like that we get just a brief peek behind her facade at the real and conflicted emotions underneath. Looking forward to the next chapter.

I'm glad you're liking the story George. I'll admit that this story started out very much in the porn without plot realm so if the initial encounter seems weak or flimsy I might not have reworked it as it developed in my head. I'm glad the encounter was still enjoyable. I've had a lot of fun coming up with Janna's personality and can't wait to show everyone more.

[GeorgeGlass]

I forgot to mention a couple of things in my review:

--I had several LOL moments while reading it. Because SvtFoE is as much a comedy as anything, I feel that humor is essential to making the story true to the show. So well done.

--I like Star's stepwise plan for Marco. As it happens, I'm working on a story with a similar theme (although it involves the two of them coming up with a stepwise plan together to help each other get with their respective crushes). So I'm looking forward to seeing whether the plan works, and Marco's rewards along the way.