GrayNeko's Review Response and Discussion Thread

[GrayNeko]

Aysha 2014-12-22 id#3000069984

this was another really great chapter! I love this story, it's like watching the show all over again, but with erotic perks. I'm glad to see you continue, and I hope it never ends!;p

Thanks, that's really what I was going for when I began this whole thing, sticking as close to the source material while expanding it in a believable, if adult, manner.

[Aysha c.c.]

was really hoping to read chapter 7 today? I hope everything's okay!

[GrayNeko]

Chapter is up Aysha. I don't usually post until late Fridays or early Saturdays, besides, just got done with Christmas, give a guy a break.

[Guest Edward]

Yeah... Charmscaster is in trouble right now.

I am glad to see Ben and Gwen are doing better in their side of the relationship.

Back in the days of the original show I was a total shipper of Ben and Gwen and since then I don't like seeing them in bad terms with each other.

I am really curious to see how some street gang can represent a problem for the characters.

I gotta be honest, the sex between Ben and Gwen was really hot, but I was bothered by Ben not being able to move freely.

That's totally my problem, not a problem of the story. Anything related to bondage and restricted movement make me uncomfortable.

Thanks for your work. I wish you a great (and sexy) new year.

[GrayNeko]

Aysha 2015-01-03 id#3000070028

I just wanted to review chapter 7 before I read chapter 8. chapter 7 was so awesome I read it twice. Enough said! Aside from thank you!

Thanks again Aysha, I'm glad people enjoy that chapter. I had it written up when I realized I had to change many details and I was so glad I was able to salvage the scene between Ben and Gwen.

[Guest Guest]

About chapter 8: You have to write a crime novel or something like that. The suspense in that chapter was killing me.

And about the newest chapter: it was really, really hot. And finally, treesome! Yay!! Very creative use of the towel, by the way.

I feel that Max suspects that something is going on between Charmcaster and Ben, and that he asked Gwen to go with them so Gwen could keep an eye on them.

If Gwen have such trouble with Ben's flavor, she should make him eat just pinneaple. xD.

Also, suddenly Kai! I did not see that coming.

Can't wait to see your third story: Charmed with Children, where Charmcaster deals with pregnancy and motherhood.

Just kidding. I am not even a fan of that kind of stories.

Anyway, great chapter to start a new year.

[Guest Edawrd]

Uh, It's me, Edward. I wrote the last comment but forgot to put my name.

[GrayNeko]

Thanks Ed, I'm glad you liked Chapter 8. I'll be honest, when I wrote it that was my least favorite chapter. It wasn't that I felt I could do better but it just seemed to be missing something but strangely enough as I look at it now it really doesn't seem all that bad to me now but at the time I just had a heck of a time writing it.

While the flavor was what initially put Gwen off about felatio I really just have her written as someone who doesn't enjoy it, perhaps because of a strong gag reflex. Perhaps she'll do some internet searches and come up with the pineapple idea in the future, or she might just use magic.

Yeah, Kai was a fun curveball to come up with but far from my last.

I actually have been thinking about incorporating this AU into another one where college aged Ben and Gwen have to put together a team of kids with powers to fend off Vilgax and a fleet bent on destroying Earth. I'd have to rework a little of it to reflect this setting but it would be feasible.

[GrayNeko]

Aysha 2015-01-17 id#3000070098

very interesting, what are the Knights really after? Are they after Ben? or are they after kai and Mr Green? Or could it be that Mr Green was the forever ninja? So many possibilities.

What on earth could Charmcaster be planning? how could it possibly allow Gwen and Ben to be together openly, I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

I DON'T WANT TO WAIT!

Yeah, this is one of my more complicated story arcs, but it will be pretty clear what's going on in a couple of chapters. Hopefully I'll have it finished before I get done getting caught up.

[Guest Edward]

The plot thickens.

So after reading the lastest chapter, I have several theories:

1. Ben was not the target of the attack. Kai was.

2. Ben is feeling glum because of the "smoke". It did something to him.

3. Gwen will change her appearance with magic.

I also think that Kai is hiding something.

Also, if I have learned something from hentai is that a spa is a place where a lot of sex happens.

[Belfry]

People should not feel letdown when you write a chapter without sex in it. I do that occasionally with my Johnny Test AFF, Crossed Lines, to speed up the story to a point where lovemaking is appropriate. Sex is simple; love is complicated.

I think I know what Charmcaster has in mind. I have used it before in my AFF.

[GrayNeko]

Thanks Belfry, I've dealt with that before on HF, but I know I'm writing a story, not just smut and many of my readers also recognized that which helped.

As for what Charmcaster has planned, I hope to hear if you guessed right, it's not terribly clever but it was something I wanted a chance to explore.

[GrayNeko]

leon 5 2015-01-20 id#3000070118

Awesome and to think i didnt notice this fanfic sooner. Keep it up

Thanks, I'm glad you like the story. If you can spread the word , please do.

[Guest Edward]

Oh, I can't believe I forgot of when they switched bodies in the show!

Here I was thinking Gwen would take the appeareance of some other girl. Silly me.

Great reading. You have talent to get differents moods. In this case, the mysterious atmosphere of the water scenes.

I really hope Ben realizes what happened with the girls on his own. If not, he will never live it down.

[Aysha c.c.]

Don't forget Ben is a genius he just likes having people think he's dumb!

[GrayNeko]

Yeah, I said my idea wasn't too clever since the show already did it but it has so much more potential with my scenario. And thanks Ed, I was quite happy with the scene between Gwen and Charmcaster at the pool, I'm really trying to differentiate how the three characters express their love and experience the emotion and I think that helped cement at least how Gwen feels. And Aysha, thanks for another review, I'm glad that chapter was well received.

[Aysha c.c.]

I'm a writer too and I know how much we all want reviews for each chapter so I always do my best to review what I read, you can even check out my stories if you want I wouldn't mind hearing from you.

[Guest Edward]

We need a whole chapter of just Charmcaster getting to know pop culture.

How would she react to Star Wars or Lion King?

I don't know, the mental picture of Charmcaster reacting to famous movies she have never seen is pretty funny to me.

[GrayNeko]

It is definitely a cute mental picture but I'm not sure she'd be wowed. Her life has never been mundane so I think she might have a hard time immersing herself in the story. If anything I think she'd be a fan of dramas and love stories, things that are more slice of life. I can imagine the scorn she would have for the Harry Potter films until Ben and Gwen get her to do some sexy roleplaying.

[Aysha c.c.]

Hey Neko-chan you chose my oldest and worst written story to read. I would have preferred you to read my Naruto, Teen Titans, or Transformers Prime story. They're so much better!

there's still a lot of mistakes in them because of my dyslexia and the fact that I use dragon speech recognition software that likes to f*** everything up! but aside from that I think they're really good stories and I'm quite proud of them!

Edited January 29, 2015 by Aysha c.c.

[Guest Edward]

Grandpa Max, NO!

Aw, I was hoping that Ben would notice the change. Oh well.

I freaking LOVE over-the-top-sex-scenes-with-magic. It's one of my favorite scenarios in fan-art and stories. Hopefully they will use that spell again.

I must confess I will fap with this latest chapter as soon as possible.

Poor Charmcaster neeeds to take it easy with the kids, she is going to hurt them because of her hornyness.

Max touched a subjet I have been thinking for a while now: what will happen to Charmcaster at the end of the summer? I am guessing she will live with Max, maybe? I don't see Ben's parents being OK with her living with Ben.

Looking forward to read what you have in store, Neko.

[Aysha c.c.]

I'm betting Max will adopt Charmcaster. I think that would be cool! By the way why hasn't she told them her real name yet? You know it's Hope right?

Edited January 31, 2015 by Aysha c.c.

[GrayNeko]

I'm glad you guys are enjoying the latest chapter.

Aysha 2015-01-31 id#3000070155

That sex scene was really intense and awesome! For a minute there when Ben started fire hosing Gwen's ass with cum I thought it might start pouring out of her mouth! Lol.

I I think that there's still time for bins and figure out the switch in the next chapter so I'm going to keep my eye out for that.

I had a feeling that the shooter or forever ninja was west, didn't know why he would do it but I had a feeling it was him.

I hope Ben and Gwen don't stick exclusively to anal and oral sex, I really enjoy conventional sex as well, and it kind of adds to the naughty nature of their relationship they just need to find a magical means of contraception.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter can't wait!

I wonder if I've given enough away for you guys to figure out what's going on with Wes.

I don't know how I feel about Charmcaster's "real" name being Hope. They introduced it in such a lame way in Alien Force/Ultimate Alien. I think if I do use that it will be more along the lines of "My name is _____, it's means 'Hope'" and the reason I haven't introduced the whole real name idea yet is because I'm basing magic off of the concept that all things have a "true" name and knowing that name gives a person power over those things.

[Aysha c.c.]

You're right about the lame way in which they introduced her name. The fact of the matter is that a person's true name isn't there given name. Your true name is a collection of words in the ancient language that describes your character, lineage, and even physical makeup in its totality.

As for what is going on with Wes, I think he's under some kind of mind control buy one of these forever-assholes Ben pissed off in the past. And I think that all the Tennysons will get captured. But the Gwen Tennyson that gets captured will actually be Charmcaster , and she will break the spell to come rescue them in her own body. How's that for guessing?

Edited January 31, 2015 by Aysha c.c.

[Guest Edward]

Oh my gosh!!!

I think I finally know who the evil mastermind is!!!

He is one of my favorite ben 10 villains, this will be great.