Bad Author

[Kimmimaru]

Ok, so, thanks to the help of many abusive reviews and people saying that my writing is boring I have decided to give up writing. Sounds overly dramatic doesn't it? Well, ordinarily a bunch of disgusting, childish trolls wouldn't bother me but the abuse has been nearly constant and that, on top of numerous other personal issues, has made me reconsider my abilities. I thought I had talent, I have, in fact, written an original fantasy story that I was going to get published after much needed editing but now I am even reconsidering that.

I suffer from Dyslexia, I wrote fanfiction with the intent to improve my writing abilities on the advice of a well-known, published author who told me; 'Never stop writing'...except now I just can't do it anymore. I read a lot of fanfic and there are is some wonderful work out there, work that I can never even hope to compare to. I put a lot of my heart and soul into my writing, I even got over 100 reviews telling me that I made them cry. I draw heavily on personal experience to give the story depth and dimension but aparently that's not what people want, people seem to want one dimensional characters who have little to no emotion, characters who are unrealistic and OOC. Because god forbid if a male character cries after his best mate is murdered! God forbid if they suffer emotional damage after being consistently abused! No one wants stories that stick close to the original books of my chosen fandom, I don't know WHAT they want but its not my stories. I have been told, not just by trolls, that my stories are all the same...well, I can't write humour. No one gets my sense of humour and I tend to get a load of blank looks from something that I find hilarious, so I tend to stick to angst. What is the point in continuing something that will, inevitably, end in disaster? I wanted to publish my own books. It's been my dream since I was a kid to have my own work in book-format, I used Fanfiction as a way to test the waters so to speak, to see how people reacted to my style...but aparently that's boring. Many times I have received concrit telling me that my 'style' is boring, well, my style has been developed over ten years of almost consistent writing so really I don't see how I can change that. I have stories ranging from third person to second! I have experimented with different ways to write, I even reduced one story to almost entirely speech. I am dyslexic so my grammar/spelling is not going to be up to scratch but even THAT has improved exponentially, and yes, I DO have a tendency to stick to simple sentence structures and words but what else can I do? I don't want to spend hours attempting to find the correct spelling for a long word that will only be in there to make me look intelligent. No, I won't do that.

For years I suffered from horrendous confidence issues and for a while Fanfiction actually helped me, I found that with support I had the confidence to overcome a condition that would ultimately hold me back in Writing. Now I have come to the conclusion that I will never improve, if my very style is boring and my plots repetitive, how can I ever hope of publishing my own Original Fiction? I loved writing, but now I just can't do it anymore! It's driving me nuts going over everything I have written like some kind of OCD turtle and evaluating my own talent...or lack thereof.

So there we have it, Kimmimaru is bowing gracefully(Or not, depending on your outlook) out of writing...for good? Who knows. I refuse to put up with consistent abuse telling me what a terrible author I am, ok, I get it. I'm a bad writer. I hope to god that no one else ever has to feel like this, giving up on dreams is agony.

Fanfiction was never a game for me, it's not even really a hobby, it was a means to an end. But now Dyslexia has conquered and this bad author is going to stick to reading, because no one can go wrong with that...oh wait! I can because I even read shit backwards.

(Update: 11/01/13 or, if you're American: 01/11/13...I think that's how it goes...) JUST AN FYI: I wrote this in the heat of the moment, I have decided, after extracting all my frustrations and taking them out in this rant that I will not give up. I apologise for any confusion but I like to rant about things, it gives me an objective stand point when i re-read my feelings...like punching a punch bag I suppose. I needed to vent to people who understood the situation, having probably been there themselves. Also, I have some personal issues IRL at the moment which do not help my state of mind, but slowly I am sorting through them and will come out stronger for it. Thanks for the support and advice, it's always much appreciated.

Edited January 11, 2013 by Kimmimaru

[DemonGoddess]

Perhaps you should stay away from the abusive site, and not give up entirely. From what I've seen of your reviews here, you don't have that issue.

[Cuzosu]

I'm very sorry to read this, and sorrier still that people have been putting you down and degrading your ability. I, personally, think it has potential. Do you still need work in some areas? Yes. Everyone does. And professional writers tend to have editors who are paid to fine-tune their grammar, spelling and punctuation, so I've never seen the sense in being rude about that issue--to anyone.

I will also note that I have not read all of your works, but I can say this for sure: you do have a sense of humor. It's sly, it can be rather dry at times, and a portion of it is situational irony--but it's humor and it's there, regardless of what these other people have been telling you. (I should know; I am very picky about humor fitting the characters and situations, and nothing I write has no humor. This has to do with one of my two philosophies on life, which is, "If you can't laugh, you aren't living." Perhaps I take it overboard at times, but in my case usually helps others cheer up, even if I'm morbid.) If they don't see humor in your stories, that's not your shortcoming, it's theirs. Maybe they just haven't suffered enough to learn to laugh when they have the chance, but I have, and I think you have as well.

The people who think your works are bad should, in my opinion, be lined up and shot. (Of course, I think a lot of people should be lined up and shot. A number of government officials, for example. Still haven't done anything about it, but I wouldn't be upset if someone else did.) There is no such thing as a bad story, the same as there is no such thing as bad art. The only differences are the practice done and the feelings associated with it. One of my grandfathers is a professional artist/muralist, and he will openly tell people that when he started out, his artwork often ended up in the trash. He practiced and practiced, and now he gets a lot of people who really enjoy his work. I'll PM you the website if you'd like, though it doesn't have photos of everything he's done even in recent years on it.

I probably wouldn't make a great beta right now, but if you'd like I am more than willing to be your sounding board for ideas, particularly for this original story you mentioned. (Haven't read it, but you do write well from what I've read, and besides, I enjoy being a sounding board. It lets me help others and be creative at the same time, which is a fun combination.)

[Kimmimaru]

Honestly I have no idea what is wrong with me at the moment, it's not just bad reviews because to be honest I expect haters in any creative field but I am really struggling with self confidence and having my stories spammed and hated on to the point where I have to actually delete the story and repost it is just wearing on me. I love creating, I believed it was what I was born to do, whether it is stories or art (I'm an artist too). Hell, it's the ONLY thing I'm good at. I suppose that if I wasn't feeling so emotionally vulnerable at the moment I'd just brush it off, but my dad walked out on my mother recently and I am the only one who is with her twenty four seven, she also has heart trouble and so I'm looking after her. The reviews are just a tipping point I suppose. I do write a LOT of angst but writing has always served as a form of stress relief, I literally pour my emotions into my stories and in some ways this could make me more vulnerable. I don't know, perhaps it's just a temporary thing, I might just be going through a phase and will return to writing when I'm feeling stronger...who knows?

[Kimmimaru]

I'm very sorry to read this, and sorrier still that people have been putting you down and degrading your ability. I, personally, think it has potential. Do you still need work in some areas? Yes. Everyone does. And professional writers tend to have editors who are paid to fine-tune their grammar, spelling and punctuation, so I've never seen the sense in being rude about that issue--to anyone.

I will also note that I have not read all of your works, but I can say this for sure: you do have a sense of humor. It's sly, it can be rather dry at times, and a portion of it is situational irony--but it's humor and it's there, regardless of what these other people have been telling you. (I should know; I am very picky about humor fitting the characters and situations, and nothing I write has no humor. This has to do with one of my two philosophies on life, which is, "If you can't laugh, you aren't living." Perhaps I take it overboard at times, but in my case usually helps others cheer up, even if I'm morbid.) If they don't see humor in your stories, that's not your shortcoming, it's theirs. Maybe they just haven't suffered enough to learn to laugh when they have the chance, but I have, and I think you have as well.

The people who think your works are bad should, in my opinion, be lined up and shot. (Of course, I think a lot of people should be lined up and shot. A number of government officials, for example. Still haven't done anything about it, but I wouldn't be upset if someone else did.) There is no such thing as a bad story, the same as there is no such thing as bad art. The only differences are the practice done and the feelings associated with it. One of my grandfathers is a professional artist/muralist, and he will openly tell people that when he started out, his artwork often ended up in the trash. He practiced and practiced, and now he gets a lot of people who really enjoy his work. I'll PM you the website if you'd like, though it doesn't have photos of everything he's done even in recent years on it.

I probably wouldn't make a great beta right now, but if you'd like I am more than willing to be your sounding board for ideas, particularly for this original story you mentioned. (Haven't read it, but you do write well from what I've read, and besides, I enjoy being a sounding board. It lets me help others and be creative at the same time, which is a fun combination.)

I agree with the lining up and shooting idea! Lol. I accept that I'm far from perfect, having read through everything I have ever written I have come across many mistakes, from spelling to grammar to plot inconsistencies but I usually just say; What the hell, i'm only human! I simply try harder to remove such mistakes in future. I probably should have a Beta as I do find it hard to tell if I have made a mistake but I tend to be very particular about how I want my story and if someone tries to change it I'll get pissy, lol.

As for my Original Story well, it's a Trilogy and it's already written. I am just going back through it, fleshing it out with description (My first drafts always tend to be the very skeleton of the story) and stuff like that. I also have a friend of mine who went to University to study Creative Writing and wants to become an Editor, she's said she is willing to act as Editor on it and she will get it up to publishing standards. But the offer is much appreciated, thank you.

I'm glad you can find the humour in my fics, I don't consciously write it in so it's nice to know it's there. I doubt I'm going to be able to stay away from writing, I haven't written anything for a few hours and can already feel my fingers itching and I'm being bombarded with a ridiculous amount of plot ideas... -.-' It actually does my head in a little, lol. I am kept up at night by my brain going; Oh! You could do this! This would be good! Why don't you try this! Arrrrg! Shut up!

I still think that perhaps my fanfiction is a bit...Same-y. But I can't write anything without angst in it and with fanfiction I always like to stick as close to Canon as possible, even in an AU. I just can't get my head around WHY people troll my stories. What is their REAL issue with them? Why can't they explain to me where they think i'm going wrong? And saying; 'Your Sirius is a wimp' does NOT count. In my stories the majority of the time he's a CHILD, children won't have the same control over their emotions that adults have, they cry when they skin their knees ffs. Then of course there's the whole 'Sirius isn't a bottom' thing...it's the one constant in the trolls' reviews. I have spoken to gay men, I have researched it, I have watched porn and I have had plenty of personal experience in the bedroom myself, as far as I am concerned Gay couples don't always have set roles. Being human beings they don't fit into typical yaoi stereotypes, REAL gay couples can be versitile too if they wish. Then you have the whole Sub/Dom relationships, I definitely have experience in mild BDSM and the Sub has ALL the power. People seem to assume that the Dom does but that's not true, the Sub is the one who can make the Dom have a good or bad time. I mean think about it, if they just lay there and did nothing the Dom the would also not enjoy himself, then you have the whole 'Safeword' thing, the Sub says 'Stop' and the game stops. It's the same in Bottom/Top relationships, the bottom can just lie there like a wet fish and the top will be left doing all the work and probably feeling really terrible about himself and his performence, so, I will stand by my convictions that it doesn't MATTER who is top and who is bottom. In my personal view Sirius makes a rather excellent Bottom because I reckon he'd be able to seduce the pants off of anyone, I see him as someone who breaks all the rules, he is the dominant one even though he is the bottom as he would be able to dictate to his top what feels good and what doesn't...if you get me? I have always seen him as a bit of a playboy, finding seduction as easy as breathing, and what is more of a power trip than knowing you can make people chase you? I find the stereotypes to be almost sexist because it makes me wonder what these silly little children think about women...Women have no choice BUT to 'bottom' so to speak. Women don't have cocks, and yes, there's strap on's etc but i'm talking about normal, everyday sex. And yet you get some very Dominant women, even without toys...no one ever thinks about that do they?

[Kimmimaru]

Just had a thought...it's odd how the vast majority of my fics have the father figure as the instigator of abuse. Hmm...

[Danyealle]

Alright, first and foremost, I’m going to say I’m a blunt being. That’s why I don’t chime in on many of these threads as people take what I say, and how it’s said, wrong. With that being said, I’m going to jump into this.

Starting off, I’m going to stay one thing very clearly. Dyslexia is not an excuse to put out anything that is poor in quality. Period. End of story. I’m dyslexic and I don’t do such a thing. I’m also published. Yes, it’s a struggle to work with it but it’s not an excuse to do so. It just takes you slowing down and going about things differently. Help from a beta would also assist in cleaning up mistakes you make on such things because of it. There are ways around it; all you need do is look for them.

The other thing I’m going to say is this; though I know you’ve had problems with trolls, especially on The Pit, the realism is that if you can’t handle such things, writing isn’t for you. Trolls are like ants at a picnic. They happen. And, the thing is, the more they know they’ve gotten to you, the more they are going to do it and push harder. If there is a site that doesn’t rein in such beings, get off it and go to other ones. If they follow, report their ass. It’s that simple. They might not be able to do much but they can help. Beyond that, you ignore them. Trust me, I’ve had my share of the beasts. When you don’t respond or let them get to you, they get bored and move on.

Now, I’m going to say something that you might not think is supportive or what you’re looking for but it’s factual… If you can’t handle the concrit reviews or someone telling you that you’re doing something wrong, writing isn’t for you. You are going to get them. Though you might not like what they say, the realism is that you probably need to listen. Especially if it’s been said by several people. Writing, and how you do it, is an ever evolving thing that you should nurture and make grow. It changes a great deal over time. You can’t change if you don’t realize you are doing something wrong and just stick to what you are over and over.

Now, you said you had one you wanted to publish. I’m here to tell you from experience that if you can’t take the reviews, don’t submit it. First, there are something most authors will get at least once over their life; rejection letters. Then, if it is picked up for publication, the edit process you have to go through to get it ready will about kill you. I’ve been through it five times now. Some of the editors are very nice about it and some make the overly harsh concrit in the archive for stories look nice. It’s bad, even if they are nice. It’s horrific if they aren’t. You do it and go through it, though, to put out the best product you can. Dealing with some in the archive is nothing compared to that process, trust me. If you can’t deal with the concrit or other things, you won’t survive this and will be in tears over the whole thing.

I’m not trying to be mean here, just lay out the facts of how it goes. Please try to take it that way.

[Kimmimaru]

Alright, first and foremost, I’m going to say I’m a blunt being. That’s why I don’t chime in on many of these threads as people take what I say, and how it’s said, wrong. With that being said, I’m going to jump into this.

Starting off, I’m going to stay one thing very clearly. Dyslexia is not an excuse to put out anything that is poor in quality. Period. End of story. I’m dyslexic and I don’t do such a thing. I’m also published. Yes, it’s a struggle to work with it but it’s not an excuse to do so. It just takes you slowing down and going about things differently. Help from a beta would also assist in cleaning up mistakes you make on such things because of it. There are ways around it; all you need do is look for them.

The other thing I’m going to say is this; though I know you’ve had problems with trolls, especially on The Pit, the realism is that if you can’t handle such things, writing isn’t for you. Trolls are like ants at a picnic. They happen. And, the thing is, the more they know they’ve gotten to you, the more they are going to do it and push harder. If there is a site that doesn’t rein in such beings, get off it and go to other ones. If they follow, report their ass. It’s that simple. They might not be able to do much but they can help. Beyond that, you ignore them. Trust me, I’ve had my share of the beasts. When you don’t respond or let them get to you, they get bored and move on.

Now, I’m going to say something that you might not think is supportive or what you’re looking for but it’s factual… If you can’t handle the concrit reviews or someone telling you that you’re doing something wrong, writing isn’t for you. You are going to get them. Though you might not like what they say, the realism is that you probably need to listen. Especially if it’s been said by several people. Writing, and how you do it, is an ever evolving thing that you should nurture and make grow. It changes a great deal over time. You can’t change if you don’t realize you are doing something wrong and just stick to what you are over and over.

Now, you said you had one you wanted to publish. I’m here to tell you from experience that if you can’t take the reviews, don’t submit it. First, there are something most authors will get at least once over their life; rejection letters. Then, if it is picked up for publication, the edit process you have to go through to get it ready will about kill you. I’ve been through it five times now. Some of the editors are very nice about it and some make the overly harsh concrit in the archive for stories look nice. It’s bad, even if they are nice. It’s horrific if they aren’t. You do it and go through it, though, to put out the best product you can. Dealing with some in the archive is nothing compared to that process, trust me. If you can’t deal with the concrit or other things, you won’t survive this and will be in tears over the whole thing.

I’m not trying to be mean here, just lay out the facts of how it goes. Please try to take it that way.

First off, thank you for being honest, I like honesty and appreciate it. Secondly, I don't think you're being harsh, nor will I take it the wrong way.

I can handle concrit, if someone says; 'You can make it work better if you do so and so' or 'I didn't like this bit because...' that's fine. In fact that's what I WANT. It's why I like reviews. However, the kinds of reviews I have been getting are more along the lines of; 'Your stories shit.' with no reasons why, and 'You suck go die' (That's a popular one). I also have had people critising my characterisation based on the fact that I have one character bottoming, and this seems to offend their childish sensibilities.

I am NOT using Dyslexia as an excuse for posting bad work, I am simply saying that If i make a mistake then more than likely I have not realised it is there because I am dyslexic. If anything having Dyslexia makes me more careful, if more nervous, about my mistakes. People tend not to sympathise with you unless you point out your problem, I have been called thick for not being able to spell things...which is far from the truth, I suppose I have just set up an automatic defense system where I feel the need to warn people so that I can avoid that situation.

Then of course you have my personal problems to take into account, I think (after some retrospect after posting this) that it has made me emotionally vulnerable and things are getting to me more than usual. Like I said, normally it wouldn't bother me and I would ignore anything that is meant to be offensive, it never used to bother me, it's only recently that it's been affecting me.

Mostly this post was simply to allow me to let off steam, to get rid of my frustrations and try to order my thoughts, re-evaluate my feelings on the matter and generally have a good bitch and whine, lol. As I said previously, now i have had a chance to think and have cleared my head, I doubt I will give up...I can't stop myself from writing as it's an obsession. Call it a 'heat of the moment' thing...

Thank you for the advice, support etc.

[botticelliangel]

I understand your frustration, and reaction to the trolling remarks. Reading your original rant made me cry, because I have felt the same way. But feelings are feelings, you do not have to act on feelings because they are temporary. And I just wanted to remind you to look at the source: these are people who you don't know, who could just be doing it because they do get a reaction out of you. You don't know their motivation and you cannot control what other people say, do, think, or feel. What you can control is yourself. You do have the power to get better at whatever you put your mind to, regardless of disabilities. I didn't learn how to read until I was in the fourth grade, and I have consistently scored terribly in spelling throughout all of my educational experience. And I know I can change those things. I know I can work and work until I get better, because I refuse to just allow other people to tell me that I will fail. Its hard work, and it does hurt when people point out my mistakes and shortcomings. I choose to take those and make myself stronger.

I hope that you can do that too, because I want to have hope for you. I read this right after getting an incredibly harsh and hurtful review on an original project that I have been working on for about sixteen years. The review came from my best friend, who spurred me into writing in the first place. She means well, and she has zero tact. So while I sit down and read her review I cry, because she doesn't understand that she tolls everything, and then I read the review again. I look for the concrete remarks in it the things that I can take away and work on. Truth is no matter what I say she will still call one of my characters evily mcevil pants (grrr...), and I can still choose to look at that and say 'what about this character makes her think that way?'

I'm trying to be motivational to you, and give you the sense that you do have control over this because writing is one of the only things that is completely from you!

Good luck, and I really hope you can use these experiences and make yourself stronger.

[username-classified]

I rode the short bus to high school, there’s no way around it. I have both verbal and non-verbal language based learning disabilities as well as ADHD. It may come as a shock, but I have a very hard time writing. I mean very hard time writing, and I..am..a bad writer…there I said it. I have no qualms about it and it does not shame me to admit it. I, however, write well enough for myself. I enjoy getting my ideas out to share and I’m always improving.

Think about why you started writing. If you believe your writing helped you achieve that goal, then you did well as a writer. With every piece of art, there will be critics and trolls. Stephen King gets trolled by family guy almost constantly.

I started creative writing as a hobby about 13 years ago my senior year of high school. The work I have posted on this site has been reworked by my wife (her online alias is botticelliangel). She’s offered to be my beta (it’s part of how she convinced me to sign up for this website) so I assure you, when I write on my own, it’s not nearly as good as what I post on this website. She does a great job at polishing up my work to make it much better.

You might be asking yourself, why is he telling me all this (then again you might not be asking yourself that) I want you to know that I’m someone who does struggle with writing, but I still enjoy writing. I admire anyone who has the courage to post their work and stand on that podium. Waiting for responses, and even risk having tomato thrown at them. I want to leave you with one bit of advice. I implore you to think about it...I mean really think about it...don't just read it at it's initial face value. I apply this philosophy to all of my hobbies, and it allows me to enjoy said hobbies regardless of how good I am at them.

“if you can’t learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.”

I came across this in a de-motivational poster, and it was a picture of a guy in the middle of crashing on skis. I thought to myself “this guy sucks at skiing, why does he keep doing it?” Then I thought to myself. “wow…that guy, loves to ski so much, that he does not let the fact that he’s not very good at skiing stop him from doing what he loves to do.” I decided to apply this to all of my hobbies. Since then; it’s not about how good I am at something, it’s about how much I enjoy doing it.

I’m sharing this with you because I know that once you start thinking that you are a bad writer; the thought will make you second guess everything you write, and everything you have ever written. DON’T LET IT! Don’t give up. You can either torment yourself by trying to convince yourself that you are a “good”writer (trust me…this will involve a lot of angst and self doubt) or just keep doing what you love to do.

[Kimmimaru]

I understand your frustration, and reaction to the trolling remarks. Reading your original rant made me cry, because I have felt the same way. But feelings are feelings, you do not have to act on feelings because they are temporary. And I just wanted to remind you to look at the source: these are people who you don't know, who could just be doing it because they do get a reaction out of you. You don't know their motivation and you cannot control what other people say, do, think, or feel. What you can control is yourself. You do have the power to get better at whatever you put your mind to, regardless of disabilities. I didn't learn how to read until I was in the fourth grade, and I have consistently scored terribly in spelling throughout all of my educational experience. And I know I can change those things. I know I can work and work until I get better, because I refuse to just allow other people to tell me that I will fail. Its hard work, and it does hurt when people point out my mistakes and shortcomings. I choose to take those and make myself stronger.

I hope that you can do that too, because I want to have hope for you. I read this right after getting an incredibly harsh and hurtful review on an original project that I have been working on for about sixteen years. The review came from my best friend, who spurred me into writing in the first place. She means well, and she has zero tact. So while I sit down and read her review I cry, because she doesn't understand that she tolls everything, and then I read the review again. I look for the concrete remarks in it the things that I can take away and work on. Truth is no matter what I say she will still call one of my characters evily mcevil pants (grrr...), and I can still choose to look at that and say 'what about this character makes her think that way?'

I'm trying to be motivational to you, and give you the sense that you do have control over this because writing is one of the only things that is completely from you!

Good luck, and I really hope you can use these experiences and make yourself stronger.

I'm sorry it upset you. I just feel that sometimes I need to rant and it helps me relax (weirdly enough), I also find it is a good way to review my feelings as if I was reviewing a story, I can look at it objectively once I have written it down if you understand what I mean? I realise now, after writing all that, that it's stupid to give up just because of one or two haters, I think this is just something I needed to air, like dirty laundry. If the reviews had been genuine concrit I could have handled it, because it's cold and impersonal, I find that much easier to deal with than outright abuse. I have been called a C**t (I hate that word, won't even type it), been told that I should kill myself and that I am a terrible person, I think I have enough emotional baggage to deal with without having people be that personal.

I appreciate the support, honestly I do. Even if it does come from strangers, it's strangers who will more than likely have gone through the same thing and will have a much better understanding of the situation than my own friends and family. Thank you.

[Kimmimaru]

I rode the short bus to high school, there’s no way around it. I have both verbal and non-verbal language based learning disabilities as well as ADHD. It may come as a shock, but I have a very hard time writing. I mean very hard time writing, and I..am..a bad writer…there I said it. I have no qualms about it and it does not shame me to admit it. I, however, write well enough for myself. I enjoy getting my ideas out to share and I’m always improving.

Think about why you started writing. If you believe your writing helped you achieve that goal, then you did well as a writer. With every piece of art, there will be critics and trolls. Stephen King gets trolled by family guy almost constantly.

I started creative writing as a hobby about 13 years ago my senior year of high school. The work I have posted on this site has been reworked by my wife (her online alias is botticelliangel). She’s offered to be my beta (it’s part of how she convinced me to sign up for this website) so I assure you, when I write on my own, it’s not nearly as good as what I post on this website. She does a great job at polishing up my work to make it much better.

You might be asking yourself, why is he telling me all this (then again you might not be asking yourself that) I want you to know that I’m someone who does struggle with writing, but I still enjoy writing. I admire anyone who has the courage to post their work and stand on that podium. Waiting for responses, and even risk having tomato thrown at them. I want to leave you with one bit of advice. I implore you to think about it...I mean really think about it...don't just read it at it's initial face value. I apply this philosophy to all of my hobbies, and it allows me to enjoy said hobbies regardless of how good I am at them.

“if you can’t learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.”

I came across this in a de-motivational poster, and it was a picture of a guy in the middle of crashing on skis. I thought to myself “this guy sucks at skiing, why does he keep doing it?” Then I thought to myself. “wow…that guy, loves to ski so much, that he does not let the fact that he’s not very good at skiing stop him from doing what he loves to do.” I decided to apply this to all of my hobbies. Since then; it’s not about how good I am at something, it’s about how much I enjoy doing it.

I’m sharing this with you because I know that once you start thinking that you are a bad writer; the thought will make you second guess everything you write, and everything you have ever written. DON’T LET IT! Don’t give up. You can either torment yourself by trying to convince yourself that you are a “good”writer (trust me…this will involve a lot of angst and self doubt) or just keep doing what you love to do.

(Just realised, I am SHIT at working this forum! Lol. I keep getting lost!) Thank you for the advice, I shall take it to heart. I won't give up, as I have said earlier, my rants tend to be 'heat of the moment' things and I tend to be dramatic and stroppy with them but afterwards, once I have calmed down, I find it much easier to deal with and think about it rationally. Your comments have really cheered me up however, thanks.

[Cuzosu]

I agree with the lining up and shooting idea! Lol. I accept that I'm far from perfect, having read through everything I have ever written I have come across many mistakes, from spelling to grammar to plot inconsistencies but I usually just say; What the hell, i'm only human! I simply try harder to remove such mistakes in future. I probably should have a Beta as I do find it hard to tell if I have made a mistake but I tend to be very particular about how I want my story and if someone tries to change it I'll get pissy, lol.

As for my Original Story well, it's a Trilogy and it's already written. I am just going back through it, fleshing it out with description (My first drafts always tend to be the very skeleton of the story) and stuff like that. I also have a friend of mine who went to University to study Creative Writing and wants to become an Editor, she's said she is willing to act as Editor on it and she will get it up to publishing standards. But the offer is much appreciated, thank you.

I'm glad you can find the humour in my fics, I don't consciously write it in so it's nice to know it's there. I doubt I'm going to be able to stay away from writing, I haven't written anything for a few hours and can already feel my fingers itching and I'm being bombarded with a ridiculous amount of plot ideas... -.-' It actually does my head in a little, lol. I am kept up at night by my brain going; Oh! You could do this! This would be good! Why don't you try this! Arrrrg! Shut up!

I still think that perhaps my fanfiction is a bit...Same-y. But I can't write anything without angst in it and with fanfiction I always like to stick as close to Canon as possible, even in an AU. I just can't get my head around WHY people troll my stories. What is their REAL issue with them? Why can't they explain to me where they think i'm going wrong? And saying; 'Your Sirius is a wimp' does NOT count. In my stories the majority of the time he's a CHILD, children won't have the same control over their emotions that adults have, they cry when they skin their knees ffs. Then of course there's the whole 'Sirius isn't a bottom' thing...it's the one constant in the trolls' reviews. I have spoken to gay men, I have researched it, I have watched porn and I have had plenty of personal experience in the bedroom myself, as far as I am concerned Gay couples don't always have set roles. Being human beings they don't fit into typical yaoi stereotypes, REAL gay couples can be versitile too if they wish. Then you have the whole Sub/Dom relationships, I definitely have experience in mild BDSM and the Sub has ALL the power. People seem to assume that the Dom does but that's not true, the Sub is the one who can make the Dom have a good or bad time. I mean think about it, if they just lay there and did nothing the Dom the would also not enjoy himself, then you have the whole 'Safeword' thing, the Sub says 'Stop' and the game stops. It's the same in Bottom/Top relationships, the bottom can just lie there like a wet fish and the top will be left doing all the work and probably feeling really terrible about himself and his performence, so, I will stand by my convictions that it doesn't MATTER who is top and who is bottom. In my personal view Sirius makes a rather excellent Bottom because I reckon he'd be able to seduce the pants off of anyone, I see him as someone who breaks all the rules, he is the dominant one even though he is the bottom as he would be able to dictate to his top what feels good and what doesn't...if you get me? I have always seen him as a bit of a playboy, finding seduction as easy as breathing, and what is more of a power trip than knowing you can make people chase you? I find the stereotypes to be almost sexist because it makes me wonder what these silly little children think about women...Women have no choice BUT to 'bottom' so to speak. Women don't have cocks, and yes, there's strap on's etc but i'm talking about normal, everyday sex. And yet you get some very Dominant women, even without toys...no one ever thinks about that do they?

Yes, a beta is probably a good idea. If not more than one.

Hahaha, yes, details usually are good to have....

Well, I'm glad you'll keep writing. Certainly I'll enjoy it. And I'll check out this story of yours, but I'll wait until you're done adding descriptions so I don't make unnecessary comments.

As long as you use different plots, I see no problem with keeping to the same genre. (*facepalm* I told you already that I can't not write humor; it just doesn't work. So what do I do - or rather, what did I do - but start writing a Bleach fan fic, HC, where Urahara's depressed because Yoruichi just died. Yeah, that's...not flowing easily from my head into my fingers. *sigh* Guess I should've stayed away from the whole depression thing, but in all the yaoi fics I've read with Urahara, he's never the one who needs help first, if at all. And I...wanted to see that. Why I had to write it myself instead of suggesting it to someone else.... Shall I say that I'm a sucker for mischievous characters, especially the sly ones? Kyoraku said he wanted to comfort "Kis-kun"...and then ruined the moment by adding that, if "Kis-kun" wanted, he could be comforted in other ways, too. "Kis-kun" wanted to take Benihime to his head - which urge his blood-thirsty blade of course seconded - and I broke down giggling. Maybe that's why I started it, because they made me laugh. *grumps* Humor. Every time, the humor.)

If you ever want to throw in humor but don't know how, you're always welcome to ask me. I can't ever seem to stop it. It leaks in around the edges. (Tried to write a FFVII fan fic for a friend, called it Soaked. It spun out into a few disasters and then, at the end when the guys had gotten together like my friend had wanted, I was going to finish it with something merely mentioning the deviant yet humorous actions of Reno - probably at work the next day or something. Instead, he showed up for dinner while the two newly together guys slept off their exertion, and inspired a line that still makes two of my friends crack up. "Reno: saving men's dignity, one piece of pizza at a time." As it was said in an announcer-type voice, it made us laugh all the harder, and...*shakes head* We none of us can look at pizza the same since. Not mentally scarring - no, it was perverted and therefore not something most people want to explain to their family when dinner's on the table. But it was also Reno and his warped humor and the way the situation turned out. *smiles* Quite fun, in a rather demented way. -- In hindsight, most of my stories wind up odd but amusing. No joke; I've got a Bleach drabble on FFnet with Shinji and Starrk, two characters I've never seen paired together because...I don't know why...but I was in a writing mood and really, really tired, and my mind seizes on this crack drabble notion even though I don't do drugs and I wasn't drinking, and the next thing I know, I've written the moment when their relationship turns from acquaintances/friends to something more...at least on one side. The horrible thing is that every review I've had on it there includes amusement to usually large degrees AND says something about, "Wow, you made them work! I want to read more of them now!" And I...I mean, what the hell? I write...I write a crack drabble and it's hilarious and in character?! *facepalm* I take deep breaths and wonder what's wrong with me when I think on that, I really do. It's not that I don't enjoy my humorous moments, it's more that I...am so perfectionist about having everyone in character that even when I make things amusing, it works. So I suppose you could say that I have your problem in reverse. You can't write humor in intentionally, and I can't leave it out, even intentionally. *makes face* Well, at least I can enjoy reading the other genres....)

As to the top/bottom, Dom/sub thing...well, yes. People are unfortunately pig-headed about that and perhaps always will be. (I hope not.) But I'm with you on that, though I will say that sometimes, for the sub, it's about giving up that constant control they keep in the rest of their lives, letting someone else do as they will and just following.

Edited January 9, 2013 by Cuzosu

[Kimmimaru]

As to the top/bottom, Dom/sub thing...well, yes. People are unfortunately pig-headed about that and perhaps always will be. (I hope not.) But I'm with you on that, though I will say that sometimes, for the sub, it's about giving up that constant control they keep in the rest of their lives, letting someone else do as they will and just following.

^Oh yes, that is definately a huge part of it...I was just trying to explain it from the point of view of my Trolls. Trying to show that Sirius being a Bottom/Sub or whatever doesn't mean he's totally giving up his power.

Lol! I just read through your whole response, its random. I am reading Bleach but I admit to never having read any fanfic on it, perhaps I should start? It must be so easy to write Urahara as humorous I mean in canon he has me in stitches.

Perhaps we should gather all immature preteen trolls (I truly believe that these are the types who are trolling me, I mean just their outlook on life shows they have little to no experience) and set fire to them, we could have a party. Lol. I am so glad you enjoy my writing, it makes me feel a million times better that at least one person does.

[Cuzosu]

Yes, I did catch the rant. It was just one of the reasons you hadn't pointed out there.

*blush* My randomness can be...insane. *sigh* And when I'm feeling uninspired, I tend to ask friends for help. Fei gives me requirements that I try to include (and am not always successful because I do what the story needs as opposed to what I want, even though it makes things more difficult for me...). Raymy gave me a plausible scenario to work with where I'm stuck on my Bleach story CK, which started out as a semi-serious threesome-to-be, and...the second chapter devolved into betting. I was...slightly horrified and couldn't stop laughing. And it wasn't Shinji who started the betting in my head, contrary to what the story says. No, it was Kisuke, because Urahara Kisuke has this...mischievous streak...and I can only deny him when mischievous Shunsui gets to me first. *sigh* I think I'm hopeless; Shunsui's really good at saying, "Hey, wouldn't this be fun...?" with a wink and then passing me the sake bottle, and suddenly I find my muse intoxicated - not me, my muse - and I've got plot to merge into my main story line.

Well, you may want to finish at least the Winter War before you read most of my fics, because I do give spoilers through that in some stories and I forget which ones. The drabbles...well, there are a few spoilers there, to be sure. And some completely AU. And a lot of crack-ish humor. (I implied so much kinkiness in drabble #22, for example.... And sent everyone off laughing and loving it, and the friend I specifically wrote it for told me it made her day because it had Byakuya in it. )

Urahara's hilarious. Especially when he irritates Ichigo. Honestly, I like writing him because he has a really diverse range of emotions that are shown. Shunsui's about the same, but he's...calmer about it. Probably age and experience in combination having an effect on him, like he knows how to distance himself from his emotions, and when he's resolved to fight he always seems somewhat sad, to me. Not a pacifist (obviously) but someone who would rather not fight if he can avoid it...though he'd be the last one of the Gotei you'd want after you, because he wouldn't take things personally--you'd just die because he outplanned you, and probably had a lot more power and ability, too.

Maybe the truth of it is that I have a preference for the canny ones, the ones who can outwit their enemies but also have an air of sadness to them, and determination.... *nods* I do, so that must be at least one reason I like them so much.

It would be nice, wouldn't it? I have a problem with people who think everything is always one way anyway, regardless of what the subject is, but when it comes to sex...no. But I'm glad I can cheer you up.

[Kimmimaru]

I'm reading the manga and so far I'm up to date, by that I mean I've just finished reading 'A piggy Party' chapter. (Don't know far along the anime is or even if you mean the anime or Manga...I forget most of the chapter names, lol.) I love Bleach but I couldn't write Fanfic on it, not without doing serious research, also my chosen fandoms tend to go around in circles. At the moment my main obsession is Harry Potter, concentrating on Marauder era...maybe one day I shall grow bored of that and move on. It's the same with Naruto. I have written Fanfic for Black Butler and Gravitation however, even if it was a while ago I wrote it. Oh and FF7, I have a tonne of FF7 fanfic on my Fanfiction . Net profile. That's another thing I am obsessed with. Love it. I'd die without it. lol. I'll have a read of one of your fanfics when I have time, I am currently concentrating on writing atm tho.

[Cuzosu]

Manga is my choice, too. The Winter War was the last part of the arcs with Aizen. And if you'd like to start reading my excessive humor (I mean, stories), I'd be honored. I can also recommend some, if you'd like.

I'm nowhere near caught up on Naruto right now. I keep trying to get back into it but my interest gets shot. *sigh* So I read, and I'm trying to dabble in writing it, but it's going to be horribly AU.

Harry Potter - I read in but haven't written, yet, though I've told a wonderful writer on AO3 that when she finishes her Harry Potter/Naruto crossover I will gladly adopt it in Naruto-verse, since she's dabbling in HP-verse. (At least, I assume her.... Haven't checked gender yet. *cough*) The story, I think, is a wonderful blend of the two but is also AU in its own right, and her attention to the little details of societies and interaction is superb. It's Minato and Kakashi yaoi. I also have a friend on FFnet who writes a really neat AU called Silver and the Sun, and she hasn't put it up anywhere else yet (it also hasn't gotten anywhere near explicit yet except in violence, maybe).

Black Butler is fun but I haven't found sufficient inspiration to write my own works for it yet. So I read.

Gravitation I haven't even touched yet, though I've thought about it.

FFVII is a blast. I need to finish posting the works of those that I have written. One of them is turning into a threesome--and it spawned another threesome that will have a series of side one-shots that go along with the main fic. I've been a big fan of FFVII for a long time (put it this way, I picked the game as a birthday present one year because the case looked interesting, and suddenly the whole family was playing it, and there were five of us then). I like to read, still, and I'm trying to finish up three stories in that fandom. Sparked (Vincent and Tseng); 12 (I will not type the full name if I can help it. This spawned from a mention in Soaked of a Christmas tradition Reno started.... It's also turned into a threesome....); and Seeing Red (Vincent and Reno, for my friend Fei who is with me staunchly through it all and is always up to playing sounding board and checking that my scenes aren't missing characters/details).

[Kimmimaru]

I've written quite a few fics in FF7 but I tend to concentrate on Cloud and Sephiroth, mainly because Cloud is the main character and Sephiroth is just fucking cool. (I have an obsession with Sephi, a fan-crush if you will, lol) I wrote a whole trilogy based around the original game, Crisis Core and Advent Children and even added my own 'afetrwards' bit...But I wrote them so long ago that when I read back I can't help but think; Wtf? That's horrible! Lol. Almost no punctuation, just full stops every five seconds. However, I got quite a few really lovely reviews from it so the story-line must have been ok. I also began writing about Sephi as a kid...after lots and lots of research into characters and storylines etc I managed to come up with a couple of chapters then stopped for some reason. Gravitation was what got me into Fanfiction, I wrote a couple of pretty terrible fanfics on FF.Net then stopped, then went back to it and came up with a couple ok ones...I have written two fics (Well one and a half as I can't seem to finish the rest.) which is a very excellent idea but I may have to re-write it as the structure isn't too good.

[Cuzosu]

I don't think anyone writes well when they first start out. It's a matter of practice. That's part of why I read a lot, so I know what I think is a good story and why and can make my own have similar quality.

I've never really been a fan of Cloud, but yes, Seph is awesome. I'm also quite a fan of Vincent--though I usually avoid reading him with Cid. Nothing against Cid, but in the original game he was all but married to Shera, just going by the way he acted, y'know? And he doesn't strike me as someone who'd sleep around on his spouse. Nor does Vincent strike me as someone who'd be willing to go along with it. *sigh*

[Kimmimaru]

I can't write Vincent in any kind of relationship...God knows why...although I suspect it has a lot to do with the fact that he is eternally obsessed with Lucretia. But Sephi is my One Winged Angel. I wuv him. Lol. He's just the perfect bad guy, and I can totally understand why he wants to destroy the planet, who wouldn't after what they'd done to him? (I have the feeling this thread has derailed...lol)

[Cuzosu]

Yes, it has...but it's still on writing, so it's not entirely off track. Just a little askew, perhaps.

[Kimmimaru]

Askew is never a bad thing, in fact, as words go it's actually quite a good one...Askew...yes, I like it. It will now officially be my word of the day!

[Cuzosu]

I like "rampant" today.... Not sure why, but that's the word I'm leaning toward....

[ladytsunadesama]

Just thought I'd throw my two cents worth in here. I've dealt with my fair share of flamersand abusive reviewers who thought they were "helping", I usually just delete the comment if I can tell it's just someone being abusive. There is absolutely no reason to post on someone's story "I hate it", "you're boring", "stop writing, you suck". As a reader, I've read my fair share of bad fanfiction and when I say bad I mean never should have left the authors brain. But that's only my opinion and the story that just made me go WTF might be the story the person after me is looking for and I'm not to slam a fellow author for that.

There really is a difference in trolling and constructive criticism, but some authors – especially those of us with a disability of some sort – can be a little bit touchy about criticism, constructive or not. We are also extremely susceptible to flamers who can get the best of someone who is already a little bit unsure. Perhaps constructive criticism is better saved for a private message or email.Flamers and gotten the best of me a couple of times, and I've given up writing at least 1000 times. But my hiatus of writing never last more than a month because it's just in my blood. Carpal tunnel, dyslexia, ADD or whatever else life throws at me, there's a way around it.

[RogueMudblood]

Perhaps constructive criticism is better saved for a private message or email.

Why? I'm truthfully curious. Why?

I honestly thought that the reason for posting works on archives like this one was to get the feedback of the community, writers and readers alike, in order to improve one's skills.

I'll grant you, some writers do state that they don't want concrit. But a vast majority of the writers I've left concrit for have actually thanked me for it.

Perhaps we have different definitions of concrit. I'm not just saying "your spelling needs work" - I tell them both strengths and weaknesses in their stories. I thought that's what constructive criticism was. How are you defining it?