Bad Titles

[shinigamiinochi]

Untitled's annoy me more than bad titles just because you can't really search for them on google. I had one story that had been untitled for years and I refused to post it. Last year I finally posted it. 'Ethereal', not the greatest title, but better than nothing. I have a pretty poetic mind, so I find it very easy to come up with titles that both describe the fic and leave much to the imagination. For example, when I joined Nanowrimo I couldn't think of a title. Since it was about werewolves, I settled Solstice. I've seen so many corny sounding werewolf books that i didn't want to be one of those people and the exact definition of a solstice fit the idea of the book. I find that, shorter the title, the better. It annoys me when the title is so long, it reads more like a sentence than a title.

[vivilover69]

Maybe I'm obsessed, but I love my titles.

Merry Christmas, Vivi Ornitier

was one of the sweet ones.

Little Angel, Don't Cry

is going to be a fluff fic.

Portal to the Unknown

is likely going to be gross.

I loved my Willy Wonka fic, if anyone remembers it, it was called

The Further Adventures of Willy Wonka

Black Mage Zen

is just so cool.

Confessions

is so QUEEN.

But, even I have bad ones, as evident by

Challenge Fic 1

And

Final Fantasy Night Live!

is a spoof of SNL, of course...

[Pepperedjack]

I try to think of the most flamboyant titles for my fics. Which probably works against me and the more serious or sarcastic nature of my work, but I cannot resist the temptation.

[Velvet D Coolette]

Thinking up a title is pretty much the last thing I do. Don't know about anyone else?

I'm working on one at the moment and, half done, it's Hand of God. I don't like it at all. It needs a new one, but I'll only know what it should be when the story's complete. And even then I'm not sure.

I've still no idea.

I've got one called Soul Control. I spent 3 months on that fic and for half that time it was called Mind Control. But as that's a Derren Brown series I wanted to change it... so made it Soul Control. I can't change it now, I've posted it too many places. But nothing else seems to fit.

[TheMistressMystery]

I just can't not-reply on this... I'm from Holland, so English is not my native language, and I think spellingmistakes are quite commom in stories written by non-native speakers. Things I see in other people's stories are mostly the little spelling errors and the word-mixup. Though I have to say that some of the most horrible spelling is in the native-speaker-fics, what we call "breezer-language" in dutch (bacardi breezer)... Horrible!

I always try to come up with witty titles, but that's kinda difficult at times. I'm currently writing a story that is H/D (Harry Potter) and has the working title "Better then Klum". It has something to do with fashion...

Another HP-fic of mine is called "How to beat Slytherin, or, making Malfoy cry" the double title is deliberate, want to make the potential readers curious...

On another point, my experience with crappy titles is that the story connected to is is usually as crappy as the title. I can say that I do select my stories by title as well as by summary...

Edited December 19, 2007 by TheMistressMystery

[Lost_Soul]

I was just now browsing through the Harry Potter section and found myself wondering where the hell these titles are coming from. A good many of these stories have titles like "Gay Sexin!" and "Alone on an Island" (not actual titles,but I don't want to use real ones I've seen in case it may cause a flame war.) These tend to be multi chaptered fics that are supposed to be very plot centric. However, how am I supposed to believe that when it looks like I'm browsing through bad Pornos and dime store trashy romance novels?

This tends to happen, I noticed, in the more popular fandoms (i.e. Naruto, Harry Potter...) which tend to also generate the worst fic writers. Is there some way to end the madness? Is there?

IS THERE!?

ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!! ; GAWD... AND I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE THINKING THIS! Yeah I know how you feel! I can't hardly take ANY story seriously with titles like that; heck, it doesn't even catch my interest to even READ a story with an awful title and most of the time, they end up being badly written stories! >.< I agree on what you say about browsing through bad pornos and dime store trashy romance novels. XD; Its how I feel sometimes when everytime I go through AFF to find a story to read. I don't think there is any way to end the madness my dear, for they have freewill and we cannot stop them from coming up with such titles and bad stories. -__-;

[Guest TheAdrians]

Eee. We only have one fic running right now and we hope people don't cringe at the title we chose. x_0

TLT stands for The Last Temptation...

Piss, we're actually description readers, not title readers. Not to say the title is uninportant, but we've never turned away from something because it had a dime-store sleeze title. We do agree that spelling errors are a huge turn-off though. D:

[Lost_Soul]

Yeah, it's bad if you have spelling errors, and people should know how to use spell check because it's there for a reason. o.o English is my second language and I still use spell check, dictionary, AND the theasarus to help with my spelling and the variety of words.

[Helluin]

I have yet to see "Goin' to the Chapel" in my little corner, but maybe I haven't looked far enough.

I've seen some real howlers, often those with spelling mistakes or strange punctuation.

I like titles to have puns or double meanings. I'm not sure if this is a wise practice, but it pleases me.

~ Besaid Blues: crackfic, one of the characters was in fact blue.

~Resurrection: She's dead inside after losing her first lover; he's a dead man, a ghost who can't rest until he's fulfilled an oath. The story ends when he does, so at first glance the title appears to be woefully inaccurate-- but in fact he's helping her learn to live again; she's helping him finish his quest so he can rest in peace.

~ Still Life: same two characters; a vignette of him watching her sleep, imagining what she'll look like when she's older.

~ Wanted: Dead or Alive -- the opening piece that set the Resurrection series in motion.

[Lost_Soul]

I have yet to see "Goin' to the Chapel" in my little corner, but maybe I haven't looked far enough.

I've seen some real howlers, often those with spelling mistakes or strange punctuation.

I like titles to have puns or double meanings. I'm not sure if this is a wise practice, but it pleases me.

~ Besaid Blues: crackfic, one of the characters was in fact blue.

~Resurrection: She's dead inside after losing her first lover; he's a dead man, a ghost who can't rest until he's fulfilled an oath. The story ends when he does, so at first glance the title appears to be woefully inaccurate-- but in fact he's helping her learn to live again; she's helping him finish his quest so he can rest in peace.

~ Still Life: same two characters; a vignette of him watching her sleep, imagining what she'll look like when she's older.

~ Wanted: Dead or Alive -- the opening piece that set the Resurrection series in motion.

I agree with you on this one. But I can understand how hard it is to find a title for said story and making it work with the story. Usually I'll read a story if the title catches my eye though. If it sounds original or creative and fits the storyline as well. Like one title I have thought of for my lovers story is "Mundis Animus"; it was my idea to have it in latin, my lover wanted it to be "Heart of the Universe" originally, but I thought it would sound better in latin. (group decision between us) and the title itself fits the story perfectly. It actually works if you have someone else helping you with the idea of a story title, you know.

[haruha_raharu]

My first two stories, "Interruption to a Bath," and "Snooping Around Pays Off," both had horrible titles. Not just because they're blatant porn titles, but just horrible in general. However, I guess I didn't really care enough about the titles to try to think of better ones. My stories are mainly porn with plot, after all, so the title is not going to add some deep literary meaning to the story.

I guess in AFF, I see the title more as a part of the advertisement of the story, instead of an important part of the story itself. I just put up whatever I think adequately describes the story in a few words, and be done with it. I prefer titles that tell me at least partly what to expect in the story, instead of single-word ones that only have a deep meaning if you understand the context. Of course, I'm guilty of the latter myself, with titles like "Wish of a Red Moon" or "Garden of Thanatos," which you wouldn't understand unless you already know the source material quite well.

[Masamune]

I always struggle to come up with titles.  They're important, but I just can't ever seem to think of one that captures the essence of the fanfic (what I write) and that might attract readers...  I used to be pretty bad with some of my titles, at least I think so now...  Here they are, close to the order I wrote them in:

Twisted Destiny (cliche fail AU title!)

When Shooting Stars Fall (look at me writing a deathfic! I'm all brooding and dark!)

Carrier (too much Starcraft?)

I'm the Merry Jester (it's supposed to be ironic cuz it's angsty...)

Snowstorm (lazy... was a fluff fic...)

Nothing There Anymore (back to angst fever)

Last Reunion (unimaginative...)

Memories of You (really unimaginative...)

Stupid to Love Him (somehow I still like this one)

Unlikely Circumstances (could have been a better title)

Where Hearts Crumble and Lie (too much? Well, for a story I never got past the first chapter of... yes...  But, I dunno, it's the kind of title that'd grab my interest)

Souls Disappear in the Snow (aside from the weak attempt to do alliteration by using the word 'Souls', a title I actually still like)

Shoot Me in the Dark (pretty sure me shouldn't have been in caps...)

Pale Blue Ink (let's give away the plot twist in the title!)

All That's Left of a Memory (angst fever fever!!!)

Sex, Substances, Sin, Salvation (I have a problem with S words.  I could never think of a title for this one... so I just went with the first thing...)

Sin or Spend the Night All Alone (overdramatic)

Stuffing the Turkey (i like this one)

yeah, so, personally I don't like it when a title is too short and doesn't seem to tell you anything about the story, or when it's super flowery or cutesy.  I tend to go towards dark and sad stories, so I don't mind if it's a little over the top in that department.

[sunnylewis]

Okay, I have to say, I have some bad titles for my stories.

Lets see, there is Moonlight Lovers (sailor moon/yu yu hakusho/harry potter/naruto crossover). My very FIRST story ever written and posted. It is currently complete and being rewritten.

Then there is Finding (sailor moon/yu yu hakusho crossover). Gods, what was I smoking when I named it?! Its...Its...its boring!!! T.T

There there is, in order, A Not So Simple Destiny (sailor moon/yu-gi-oh), and Memories (sailor moon/Dragon Ball Z). I really do need to rename them, but I have no idea how to do so.

Now though, I'm rather proud of Xanders Many Faces. Its straight to the point and it hints at what I'm trying to do. Its the other story besides Imaginary that I'm proud of the title on. Gods, its pathetic.

I think at one point or another, every author has a bad or cliched title, no matter who they are and how long they've been writing. But when someone just doesn't try to find a good title, its not cool. You know, there might be a good story, but the title turns the people off from it. But then again, I have my fav authors and don't really read new stuff unless I'm bored enough.

[Guest yramjb]

What bugs me much more than bad titles are summaries like this:

"I know, I know, my summaries suck." "This story is probably really bad, sorry." "I'm not a good writer." Yeah, that makes me REALLY want to set to readin' that story!

Edited February 6, 2008 by yramjb

[Dominic Shade]

Personally if I see another title that starts with "Of" I might stop reading fanfiction. Things like "Of blank and blank" Most of the writers don't even know where that title comes from and it's so grossly overused that it makes me want to flame them without reading their story. I know, I know, I repress the urge, but it's still there and this drives me crazy.

[Solaris]

Here's one that might make people wonder what is it about?

S & M.

But if the summary wasn't there, you wouldn't know what it was.

Here's the summary.

Dawn and Kaven have kinky sex.

The story deals with two characters having really kinky sex.

A night to remember.

Blaze asks Nami for help in losing his virginity.

An offer you can't refuse.

Sassy asks Shasta to marry her.

Grandmother's footsteps.

Nydia is a killer for the BRAWNS.

And guess what? Those stories have yet to be written!

Beth

[Guest Rosemarius]

Oh damn, this topic is worrying me I HATE titles. Several times I've had the whole story written but I didn't publish it because I couldn't think of a good enough title. And I am very picky in titles, including my own!

Worst ones are, apart from the illiterate ones, the ones that have nothing to do with the story but are only here as an attempt to be poetic

Example:

TITLE: Moonlight flower

*PLOT: Guy X and Girl Y make out. Then kiss. Then have rough kinky sex for an hour, while her pussy never dries and his dick stays erect for the whole time. Oh, and it's their first time of course.

I just hate that. Seriously! Alright, the title is pretty, and it does sound poetic but...what's the point?!?

And the "I can't write summaries" thing is annoying, I agree. "Summary Inside" is acceptable though, because maybe he/she couldn't summarize the story in the little space given.

Not that I'm all good myself! I've happened to name some of my stories with horrible titles!

Some example, that really existed/exist:

-Cristal Shade: One of the kind that now I hate the most: pretty, poetic, but HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE STORY!!! But the story sucked anyway, so whatever (note: that story is not on the net anymore)

-No hope left: ...was I drunk? Was I being emo? Was I in a confusional state? (...don't ask. PLEASE. Just don't)

-Beautiful Dirt: I love this title. Seriously. This title rocks my socks. It's the title of a song, and though the song didn't have anything to do with the song, I picked it up anyway. Now, why am I listing this with the bad titles? Simple: it doesn't have a fuck to do with the plot!!! Argh! It was supposed to have a different plot when I started writing and chose that title (actually...it was going to be a very dirty PWP...but then...a PLOT ended up in there!!!How did that happen, I don't know...)

Though that, there are some titles I'm very proud of, like:

-The Silent Sin: Best title I've ever found. It sounds cool and enticing. Even better: it fits the plot! (It's a story about abuse and such themes...of course the protagonist tries to keep everything hidden; plus, it involves a priest, and some religious themes, so it does really fit the "Sin" thing)

-Castigatio Corporis: It's a latin word. It means Corporal Punishment. Guess what that fic's about *grins* (note: this story is yet to be translated. I'd do it...sooner or later...someday...in a distant future...maybe...)

-Incubo: "Nightmare" made me think of a certain guy with blades in his hands. (hint: it is NOT Edward Scissorhands. Neither is he Wolverine), so I decided to use the same word in my original language...and voilà! 50+ views and a shitty review in only one day XD

Also, there are the tricks to make a shitty title decent:

a)Turn it latin. Latin words have usually an appealing sound.

b)Turn it another language. If you are not English, you can use this at your advantage: use a word/phrase in your own language that fits and that might sound cool. It doesn't matter if the real meaning is: "smelly socks" (as long as your story IS about smelly socks), when you'll explain that inside the story they'll be already curious about the story.

c)Use the title of a song. Songs often have good titles. Look for a song that you like and that could have a fitting titles.

*Random plot based on a good amount of fanfiction I've read

[Obsolescence]

I usually use music to make me get in the feeling of a chapter. I wrote a story called Playgirl which was to Ladytron's song (Which is really essential to the story, if you listen to the Zombie Nation remix. . . Though I don't force my readers into certain music.). of course since it turned out to have more chapters the mood changes, so I had to find other songs, while some of them are more apparent than others, sometimes I get cool names. Through if I use a song title, I sometimes switch it up or add another word so it's not a direct rip off. Nothing I have posted though.

A long time ago, I took song fic to an entirely new level and wrote a story based on an album, each chapter having to match up with a song from one album, and still convey the story. It was difficult, but i really liked the idea and would love to do it again.

I have a pet peeve for really normal one word titles ex. 'Love' (I shouldn't complain I have a story called Blue). Sometimes it's the only thing that fits. But I'd rather have a 'And. . .' or really random word, that I have to open the dictionary for. If it's going to be one word I want it to pop out.

[Valiant]

I've seen my fair share of stories with horrible titles. But using the word "love" isn't so bad. I have 3 fics on AFF so far so good and I think I did a good job of naming them.

Red and the Wolf - It's just a re-make of Little Red Riding Hood

Love Planet - It's a DMC fanfiction about Dante and a new stripper at the Bulls-eye Bar/Love Planet strip club. If you played DMC3 you'd know exactly what I'm talking about.

Control - Now this story I'm redo-ing due to someone not being original enough to write her own story with her own ideas. It's a Resident Evil AU fic with Albert Wesker and an OC.

I'm working on one based on this vampire dream but I need some serious help trying to get my thoughts settled. Bleh.

[TheBlackadder]

I'm not afraid to be told I suck (Yes, I'm THAT hungry for feedback), here's my titles for my stories I have posted, tell me if they stink. Might be the reason no ones reading them

Pirates Of The Caribbean:

1. "Tortuga: Roses and Thorns" – This is a story about Commodore James Norrington’s time on Tortuga between the First and Second movies, when he had resigned his commission and was living among those whom he had despised most, having become one of them himself.

In this story, he is paired up with an original character named “Dani”, who is a young independent, self-reliant prostitute that has lived on the island for years. She is the only one left who will put up with James’s arrogant attitude, violent mood swings, physical roughness, and melancholy states. Everyone else on the island couldn’t care less about wither or not he turned up in a ditch, and can’t understand why Dani puts up with him at all.

(This is my one complete story I have posted by the way)

2. “A Marriage to a Fine Woman” – In this story having been shunned by Elizabeth, Norrington decides it would be better to enter into a marriage contract with a lady’s father the proper way. His closest friend Gregory begins to remind him that he’s not getting any younger, only to be told that Norrington has already made arrangements, even though he had not yet had the privilege of meeting the young woman herself, her father was a very well known man. WIP

It’s not until his wedding day when he is pledging his vows that he realizes it had not crossed his mind to inquire about her age, having simply assumed that she would have been older. Yet Norrington soon finds himself wed to a child bride.

3. “State Your Name” – Lord Beckett became such a success thanks to his obsessive nature. But when a young girl who was only supposed to be a one night’s distraction is ‘rescued’ from his grasp, he is unable to let go and becomes obsessed with having her for himself. WIP

4. “A Commodore” – James Norrington. A Successful, upstanding, wealthy, handsome, Commodore of his majesties Royal Navy, well respected throughout the military ranks, and well known in the Caribbean and England, even commended by the King himself. There is no finer man for a husband to be had.

So why is it no one seems to want to marry the poor man? Well no matter, Heather’s mother has entered her into a marriage contract and the date is set. Yet Heather is hardly about to go quietly. WIP

(I have more, but I’m thinking I need to break up these posts because they are too long.)

~Marian The Blackadder~

[Guest Tuftiperkys]

I've seen more than I care to of absolutely horrible ones, too. There have been times when I spent weeks trying to figure out a title (for my serious fics, humorous not so much, they're pretty straight forward). And I really hate it when a word is spelled wrong in the title! Seriously, when you see something like "Severus: A Hare's Breath Away From Love," rather than "Severus: A Hairsbreadth Away From Love," does that make you want to read it? I'd immediately wonder, looking at the first example, if Snape was into some weird French kissing/bestiality thing with rabbits.

I wholeheartedly agree. There is nothing more obnoxious or grating on my nerves than misspellings in summaries or titles, confusion with homophones, or gratuitous typos. This is the advertisement for your story and you're not even going to try to make it look presentable? I understand mistakes, we're all human and to err is in our nature, but some stories just make me cringe. Although, I suppose in a way I appreciate the author broadcasting, 'Don't read this,' in their own way so that I don't waste my time.

As for chapter titles, I generally use a single word that relates to the story and while I wouldn't say they were anything to write about, I don't think they're anything to vomit over either.

It has nothing to do with my comment but I just found this shark looking thing and...I'm a dork and I couldn't resist. Wait, the blood is that of terrible writers. But bless their hearts, they're trying. I just don't have it in me to be too mean.

[Guest Monsterking]

i agree completly with most of you however i do feel that as long as the story itself is good i guess it is only an MINOR detail to have an crappy title for it

[Birddi]

Agreed with the following comments:

Untitles suck.

Bad titles are plentiful. As for the Harry Potter and the ....., can we please not.

Misspellers for titles and summaries should die. No remorse. People who likewise don't capitalize or suncuate their summaries and titles should die.

This is a Random Title of Love -vs- this is a random title of love!!!!

That said, I have not great titles. I'm a bit stuck on one that I'm writing now. But my lord. There are some humdingers out there.

For SUMMARIES - WHY IN HELL'S NAME WOULD YOU SAY YOUR STORY ISN'T GOOD? I'M GOING TO AGREE WITH YOU, you angsty emo! If your supposed humbleness is sincere, which I gag on, it reads not as humility but as a whiney self-centered ploy for attention and cuddles. It's damned annoying, and your story doesn't get read. Please stop.

.... I feel better.

[maidenhair]

I think that titles are a bitch!

You can write a wicked cool story but if it has a lame title, no one's going to want to read it! I have more trouble deciding on titles then on what to write. You want something unique that will stand out but not sound pretentious. *sigh* It's tough!

[shinigamiinochi]

actually, I base my reading on the warnings and summary. It isn't usually until after I've read several chapters that I finally have to ask myself what the title is. I mean, there are some great horror movies out there with lame, generic titles, but I'm really glad that I've watched them. So, titles don't really affect me, though I do hate it when I'm writing a fic that I can't come up with a title for.