Bad Titles

[Guest Alien Pirate Pixagi]

I was just now browsing through the Harry Potter section and found myself wondering where the hell these titles are coming from. A good many of these stories have titles like "Gay Sexin!" and "Alone on an Island" (not actual titles,but I don't want to use real ones I've seen in case it may cause a flame war.) These tend to be multi chaptered fics that are supposed to be very plot centric. However, how am I supposed to believe that when it looks like I'm browsing through bad Pornos and dime store trashy romance novels?

This tends to happen, I noticed, in the more popular fandoms (i.e. Naruto, Harry Potter...) which tend to also generate the worst fic writers. Is there some way to end the madness? Is there?

IS THERE!?

[Mourningstar]

I'm not sure about ending the madness, but at least those have titles. I think I just might dig my eyes out with a plastic spoon the next time I see another story titled "just another x/x" or even worse, "no title yet, tell me if you think of one". *shudders*

[NightScribe]

I've seen more than I care to of absolutely horrible ones, too. There have been times when I spent weeks trying to figure out a title (for my serious fics, humorous not so much, they're pretty straight forward). And I really hate it when a word is spelled wrong in the title! Seriously, when you see something like "Severus: A Hare's Breath Away From Love," rather than "Severus: A Hairsbreadth Away From Love," does that make you want to read it? I'd immediately wonder, looking at the first example, if Snape was into some weird French kissing/bestiality thing with rabbits.

[Guest Yhitzak]

It would be a much shorter list to come up with stories that have genuinely *good* titles. Does anyone know of *one*?

[TerraBreaker]

I'm not sure about ending the madness, but at least those have titles. I think I just might dig my eyes out with a plastic spoon the next time I see another story titled "just another x/x" or even worse, "no title yet, tell me if you think of one". *shudders*

I agree, needless to say whenever I encounter said stories, they aren't getting a click from me - in some sections it really feels like you're sifting through a very large haystack. Titles should be meaningful or amusing in some way, shape or form.

[Hermione Malfoy]

I agree, needless to say whenever I encounter said stories, they aren't getting a click from me - in some sections it really feels like you're sifting through a very large haystack. Titles should be meaningful or amusing in some way, shape or form.

I agree to. I only hope none of my titles are bad.

I can't stand titles that give away the plot.

I am not a Slash fan but some of the Slash titles are better than the het ones. Most het ones give too much away in the title.

[Iggy_lovechild]

I know of a bad title...and it's one of mine! "Love's Fierce Purity". So pretentious. I don't know what I was thinking.

Hmm...as for other bad titles...I can't think of anything specific. I guess...I tend to steer away from the obvious shit, although that all can vary from fandom to fandom sometimes.

[Guest Alien Pirate Pixagi]

It would be a much shorter list to come up with stories that have genuinely *good* titles. Does anyone know of *one*?

My boyfriend is pretty good with titles (my personal fave is ZOMBIES!) and I have seen some pretty okay ones. One was "Wicked", a Harry Potter slash fic, another was "Nobody Move" a Naruto slash fic that made me cry.

And for the moment, that's all I can think of... TT__TT

[Guest Madapple]

I know this is meant to be fic titles, but I work PT in a book store and we got in one of those serial romance books and the title was:

The Tough and Tender Sheikh

I was like, WTF?

Of course we, my co-workers and I, have running contests to make up the most absurd titles. Things like:

The Ukranian Used Car Salesman's Afternoon Delight

or

The Scottish Football Hooligan's Virgin Mistress

[DarkCabaret]

I myself am a bad title giver. I used "Love Conquers All" on an HP fic, it was horrible. Didn't match the story at all!

My new one is good though. I'm still the process of working Chapter One but it is going to be called:

Pirates and Children.

A friend of mine came up with Pirates and Parenthood but I don't want people calling it pap .... that's just not right lol so it became Pirates and Children!

[Guest Pink Lace]

Hey you read my mind or something! I was gonna write a new parody PWP titled "Just Another Fuck." *giggles* It's *supposed* to be a horrible title!

[Iggy_lovechild]

Oh! I just thought of one! Like...in almost every fandom some characters are getting married/should be married/whatever and so odds are you're going to run into a fic with this title: "Goin' to the Chapel..."

And it doesn't matter the pairing half the time either, with is cool I guess, but still...*gags* New ideas please?

[Guest Pink Lace]

Hey you read my mind or something! I was gonna write a new parody PWP titled "Just Another Fuck." *giggles* It's *supposed* to be a horrible title!

I was inspired and wrote not just one, but two stories with bad titles.

I'm dying to write "The Greatest Mpreg Story of All Time:Ass Babies Attack!" but it's really, really gross so I haven't been able to write it... YET.

[Iggy_lovechild]

Meh...right now I'm working with a shitty title. "Before the Fall"...fuck, that's cliched...I don't even know how it really relates to the story.... Hopefully, I'll have a better title by the time I think about posting it.

[Guest WFK]

Meh, usually, after the first chapter, you can usually pull something out of the chapter itself....maybe? Hopefully? If it just doesn't come to you!

Like a really neato line that struck you as particularly genius, and build from that? Look at other works (movies, etc) maybe get some ideas from those.

[Iggy_lovechild]

Well, since that last post I've re-named the story "Buried Heart/Naked Soul". I'm not sure if it's any better, but I'm much more comfortable with it and it's very fitting for the subject matter.

[Bargle5]

It would be a much shorter list to come up with stories that have genuinely *good* titles. Does anyone know of *one*?

Blowing my own horn a bit here, but I come up with good titles more often than not, (I think).

For my own stuff:

"The Missing Bits" A bit of double entendre.

"Terms of Payment" Wherein Snape explains just what the terms are.

"The Regret of Argus Filch" One where I think I got the title just right. Not many people have read the story though.

"I Blame Ron Jeremy" Unfortunately, I don't think enough people know who Ron Jeremy is these days.

"Lavender Takes the Lead" Title is probably better than the story. I like the alliteration.

"Afraid to be Beautiful" Sounds unlikely, but is intriguing, I hope.

"A Short Journey" Again, I was going for intriguing.

"Train of Thoughts" Metaphorical and it takes place on a train.

"Making Things a Little Bit Better" Not as happy as it might sound.

Just to show they aren't all gems:

"3 HP Shorts" Well, that's what it is.

"Hermione Plus" The good ones that fit the situation had already been used.

Other peoples:

"Frogs in Winter" by LadyoftheMasque. A bit of obscure quoting and a very funny story.

"Corsicuum" by LotM again. Sounds naughty.

"In the Sex" by Qestral. A fine, intriguing one.

"Crumpled" by Antosha. Snorkacks? Yup. Antosha is consistently good on titles.

"External Penetration" by Argyle_S. I just had to find out what that meant.

"Strings of Pearls and Copper Curls" by Aspen. Erotic references.

"The Best of a Bad Situation" by RossWrock. Harry certainly does make the title.

"Harry Potter and the Infernal Plan" by Jori. Another one where I just had to find out what it meant.

"Harry Potter and the Things You Just Don't Joke About" by Metafrantic. Another one who is consistently good on titles.

"Harry Potter and the Casanova Potion" By H. Dragonfly. Who could resist a title like that? Not me.

[DarkCabaret]

"I Blame Ron Jeremy" Unfortunately, I don't think enough people know who Ron Jeremy is these days.

I am blessed to be one of the handful of people who know who Ron Jeremy is .....

[StoryJunkie]

There's one in the original section that popped up today, "Love and broken heart's" (sic) I have enormous fun with titles, although I was intimidated when I first came here, thinking I had to make up a title for each chapter! I had to laugh when I read the chapter title for one of the orgy posts: "Ch 45: Chapter Titles Suck"

[madlodger]

StoryJunkie

There's one in the original section that popped up today, "Love and broken heart's"

That story is written by a young Finnish person. She writes them in Finnish and translates to English. She is improving in language department consistently.

I wonder why noone let her know about this. It might be because it's a repeat mistake for her. Plural -s and possession -'s . Finnish must have a major structural difference in that and it's hard to grasp. What surprised me is the fact that I didn't notice it, even though I read it. The only reason coming to mind is that in this author's fics I am used to filtering mistakes out in favor of plot. I will let her know about it. Thank you.

Edited June 5, 2007 by madlodger

[Demosthenes]

Still, you have to hand it to foreign authors who have the balls to try their hand writing in English. I myself edit for a Finnish gal, and she's an excellent writer. I'm sure that her work is flawless in Finnish.

[Demosthenes]

It could be the best story ever put to page, but if it had a downright shitty title, I wouldn't give it a second glance. Now this isn't to say that clever if not somewhat cheasy titles apply, such as Robert Asprin's quirky "Myth" series titles.

"Myth Conceptions"

"Myth Directions"

"Little Myth Parker"

"Sweet Myth-tery of Life"

A little bad title-wise... but his work is still enjoyable.

[Schmetterling-Meeko]

This is great. I really enjoy reading what you all found. I have a few good titles for the stories I'm trying to get published, but a few of them I just don't really want to commit too. It just seems better than calling them book 1 or book 2, etc... Maybe it's the creative side that says, 'Come on, find something to call the book until you can think of something better.'

[SFC_Omicronus]

It would be a much shorter list to come up with stories that have genuinely *good* titles. Does anyone know of *one*?

I'm not going to deny it: I'm tooting my own ocarina here (horn seems so...cliché, and I actually own an ocarina...lol). I'm really proud of the following of my own works and their titles:

"Internal Affair" -- A double-entendre, and the one I'm probably the most proud of.

"Roads Leading Back" -- There's a certain rhythm to the title that seemed so right.

"Reaching The Stars" -- Slight double-entendre here as well.

I should note that when it comes to the story, I try to theme the chapter titles around the title of the whole story, just to give it a sense of unity as well as some sort of theme. I believe "Internal Affair" is the only one of the aforementioned titles that doesn't follow this rule.

[Toushikku]

I agree with you... (though I've written my share of bad writer's-block stories)

And I think there's no end.

As long as they get attention, bad writers will continue to write bad stories.