Virgin Scenes

[reine Seele]

I have an upcoming sex scene where my OC has sex for the first time. I don't want it to be the usual popping-the-cherry kind of scene. I want something different. Like, I was thinking that she could be on top, but I know that's not compatible with her character. I was thinking of a different position from missionary, but I wouldn't have the first clue about positions. I'm a professional virgin, myself. I would appreciate any suggestions and advice on the matter.

EDIT: Felt the urge to elaborate.

So, she's kind of a ditz. She's short, curvy, and pretty innocent. She's killed people before and isn't untouched by death, though it does cause her grief. She's veeeeery shy about her body and hates to have people look at her. She's very protective about her privacy. She's not completely stupid, though; calls herself an "informed virgin." Wants to sex her man, but doesn't know how. She's also been sexually harrassed by her brother, but I'm not sure if she was affected by it.

He, on the other hand, is almost twice her age and has been around the block a few times, with a few women. He's a scientist and an inventor, clinical and well-spoken. He's intelligent and sometimes looks down on the girl for her obvious lack of intelligence. He likes her, though, even if he'll never admit it. He's a hardened warrior who frets about details and is borderline paranoid.

They like each other, though it's more of an unrequited love on her part and a distinct interest on his part. She loves him and he's just interested. He considers her as his, though. And he hasn't been with a woman in, like, ten years.

I have no clue why I just wrote all of this.

[StoryJunkie]

Its a good idea to talk to a bunch of other women and ask what their first time was like. That's what I did. (My sister, mostly). Which amounted to: just laying there because you didn't really know what else to do. Unless someone's walking you through it, you're pretty much clueless, and watching porn really makes a virgin who is shy even more embarrassed and self-conscious. Ack. Awkward! Ask people out there...actually there might have been an old thread about first times. Maybe you could dig it up. It may be helpful.

GL

[reine Seele]

Yeah, thanks anyways. I guess that's a pretty good idea, though I'm not sure I know anyone that I'm comfortable talking to about this sort of thing. I'll probably end up doing just that, though, or making some crap up. The story takes place in a kind of middle ages setting, so there'll be no porn watching, lol. Come to think of it, my character would probably curl up and die from embarrassment. Any pointers about where to start with the poll search?

[Nanaea]

Any pointers about where to start with the poll search?

Um, here? Seriously, we're prolly your best resource.

If she's that shy, she's not going to be on top. It usually takes years, or even decades, for someone that self-conscious to become comfortable with their bodies and sexuality. Given that she doesn't like people to look at her, she'll probably try to have as little ambient light as possible. There's going to be a lot of blushing and probably some instinctual, modest covering up of her nudity (covering her exposed breast by crossing her arms over her chest, for example) and even a fair amount of giggling, if she's exceptionally nervous.

How embarrassed she will be depends on two things. How patient he is with her and how much she want him. Deep seated desire, even innocent desire, will go a long way towards countering her embarrassment . Alcohol will too, anything from a self-administered glass of wine to calm her nerves (if she's the type to do that), or her love interest plying her with liquor to loosen her up. It just depends where you want to take it.

I really, really hate the way a lot of 'first time' scenes are handled in fanfiction. The anatomy of virginity is almost always misinformed, and they are either stereotypically painful and bloody, or the 'innocent' girl acts like a seasoned whore. Sorry. [/rant] Just make sure you really know your anatomy. If not, research it!

As far as first time stories, just ask. I'm sure there are people here who would be willing to share.

[NightScribe]

I really, really hate the way a lot of 'first time' scenes are handled in fanfiction. The anatomy of virginity is almost always misinformed, and they are either stereotypically painful and bloody, or the 'innocent' girl acts like a seasoned whore. Sorry. [/rant] Just make sure you really know your anatomy. If not, research it!

I am so with you there Nanaea! One time, I finally got so fed up, I left a very polite (yet anon) concrit explaining a few things. Right after that, in one of the threads regarding reviews, the author quoted it saying "that's what I mean by good concrit!" You're so right with the research, too. It boggles my mind how, with access to just about anything on the 'net, people don't do it. That's why so many anal scenes bother me; even if you've never done it, you can research it (and don't get me started on all those earth shattering orgasms that don't involve clitoral stimulation! *grrrrr*)

[Iggy_lovechild]

First off, I must get this off my chest before I try to throw in my two cents. I fucking hate writing (though reading them is sometimes not so bad) virgin scenes.

Imho, it all comes down to the partner. If character's love is also virgin colour me clueless to help but if not...

Listen, it might help to have a gentle guide in the case of this girl, someone's who's going to be open and generous enough to let her explore and take it slow if need be. Also realize vigin sex is a balance of innocence and instinct. Folks may not be able to fuck like a porn star by instinct but it isn't out of the question that they might be able to keep a nice rythem going, if ya catch my drift.

[reine Seele]

All right, well, I've never written a virgin scene before, so I wouldn't know what to do. So I guess I'll go ahead and beg for advice while I have an audience. What points are an absolute? What do I absolutely need to have?

And while I'm on it, I might as well mention that her partner is not the most sensitive person on the face of the planet. They're both in the villain category and he's a pretty hardened criminal, so there's not going to be "love" or anything. I see him as more of an amused spectator, curious about her actions and what drives her. He is more interested in the scientific and psychological aspects of everything. He looks for motives. He cares for her, but it's not "love" yet, for either of them. They share a common attraction, so it's convenient for them to have sex. That pretty much sums it up for them.

(I really, really appreciate all the help and advice I'm getting here; you guys are so nice!)

[Guest Alien Pirate Pixagi]

From that little blurb, he may not love her, but he'd likely not be brutal either. You say he cares for her, which suggests that he'd at least make sure not to hurt her beyond necessity. Also, considering how shy she is, she most definitely wouldn't be on top, nor would she be completly naked. I can imagine that she'd be mostly clothed for the process, only removing what she has to (undies, pants, etc. If she's wearing a skirt at the time, however, it would only be the underwear. Everything else would stay on).

Also, when it comes to the blood, some women bleed a lot, others not so much. I know a girl where it hurt a lot, but there was very little blood (however, from what I know, the guy was rather well endowed, so that may have something to do with it).

[reine Seele]

Hmm, that may work, but I doubt my character would appreciate it that much, even if she is shy. I would think with a little reassurance, even if it's something sarcastic, like, "Stop that; it's nothing I haven't seen before," she'll come out of the shell a little. She already trusts this man with her life, so that part might not be as big a problem as I'm making it out to be.

I think the issue is more with him, and making him say and do things to make her comfortable, but without losing any of his image. I can accept the fact that I'm going to have to use the standard cherry-popping scene, with the standard missionary position, because that's what's convenient and what's done in these situations (from what I've read).

I plan on sequels, so there's room for heavy development in both of their characters (I do plan on the both of them actually falling in love, or as "in love" as villains get with each other). But what things do I need to make a point on? Like, I know there's bleeding, depending on the girl and other things, but is there anything else? I know tears, pain, and sweat are factors. Anything else to make this as real as possible?

[Guest Alien Pirate Pixagi]

Tears... That's probably a tad cliche' and not all together realistic. Does she seem the type to cry from this?

As for his reaction, he can be reassuring without going all "OMG! I'm so in lovez with you!" Things like "You have nothing to be ashamed of." or "You shouldn't cover a body like that." are reassuring without being romantic and would work really well if you set up his mood and general tone right.

[Nanaea]

I have to agree with Pixagi on the tears issue, and sweat? Eww. Unless she's really getting ridden hard, or the climate is really, really warm, it's probably not going to be much of an issue (unless it's nerves). If she were doing more of the actual work, say by being on top, then perhaps I could see it, but since she's not....

Throwing out an example here. I didn't undress all the way, I went down to negligee and stockings, so I was still mostly covered. Since this is back in the middle ages, you can do a lot with her in her undergarments. Whether it's a simple chemise and hand knit stockings, or something more elaborate will depend on her societal background (most likely).

I also didn't feel any pain or bleed, of course that's prolly because I had already done away with my hymen myself (). When that occurred it was a short, sharp pain, barely enough to make me gasp, and some light spotting (like you sometimes get at the beginning or end of your period). At any rate, I really didn't feel much of anything the first time and just lay there with my eyes closed waiting for it to be over with. Thankfully, sex has gotten much better since then.

From my own experience, and that of friends, orgasms aren't very likely the first time. I'm sure that there may be exceptions to the rule if the guy is a generous lover, but your male lead doesn't necessarily sound like he would be. I have to beg to differ with NightScribe about the earth-shattering orgasms without clitoral stimulation. Some lucky women do have very intense orgasms with only vaginal (g-spot) stimulation, but there again, not too likely with an inexperienced female.

[NightScribe]

I have to beg to differ with NightScribe about the earth-shattering orgasms without clitoral stimulation. Some lucky women do have very intense orgasms with only vaginal (g-spot) stimulation, but there again, not too likely with an inexperienced female.

I should have clarified (as I did in the review I left) that most women need the clitoral stim, but some do climax from vaginal penetration. My issue was with "first time" fics where after a brief bit of thrusting, the female is all shuddering rapture, best orgasm of her life. Puh-leeze.

[reine Seele]

Well, you've given me a ton to think about. I will say that my girl wouldn't cry as in "Boo-hoo, *sob* it hurts!" kind of crying, but more like an angry watering of the eyes with an, "Ow! Geez! Ow! Be careful, will you?" As for my guy, I imagine him to be generous enough if he thinks it will make her stick around. He wants to be good enough to her that she'll want to stay with him.

I honestly didn't know that the whole pain issue varied from woman to woman. I feel slightly relieved, lol. I would imagine that since my girl has never been with a man in in that sense of the word (and she definately hasn't done anything herself *blush*), there would at least be some mild discomfort from stretching, right?

I also agree with the whole "earth-shattering-orgasm" the very first time. I've decided that it's not going to be absolutely amazing with stars and explosions, but they'll both enjoy it

At this point in the game, she's come to terms with the fact that she likes the guy, so she does want him. Her shyness concerning her body stems more from fear of her brother's attraction to her than anything; she feels dirty because it was wrong. I believe that she'll be able to be more open with the guy, though, since they both share a mutual attraction. Scars won't be a problem either, since both are warriors and don't really care.

Man, you guys are great! I really, really, appreciate all the help and advice! *sobs* So nice...

[wattersk]

I'm not sure if this will be any use to you, but I thought I would put my own two cents in for anybody else who might be wondering.

First time was a mix of positions starting with me on top, then on our sides, my back to his stomach, and then traditional position. It was fairly uncomfortable, so I don't know if I actually reached orgasm. The two big pains would be:

a) Friction from the back-and-forth,

being thrust into too deep and/or too long.

A small note, too, if the guy isn't paying attention and presses his you know what against the girl in a non penetrable area, such as against the vulva, it can be painful.

[foeofthelance]

Hmm, best virginity scene I've ever seen was in Queen of the Darkness by Anne Bishop. But then your guy probably hasn't spent the last 2000 years learning how to pleasure a woman, so that might not work.

Best bet? If the guy knows what he is doing, and doesn't mind a bit of coaching, he might encourage her to get on top, if only so that she has some measure of control over the proceedings. He should probably handling most of the foreplay duties as well, though encouraging a hand job wouldn't be out of place. Blow job though, probably not. As for earth shattering orgasms, both yes and no. If the guy knows what he is doing, have fun with it, but avoid the Ultimate Pleasureing Penetration.

[StoryJunkie]

I er...took the liberty to interview my husband about guy's first experience, and he said that the first time he did it, he was taken aback by how wet and sloppy she was, and he lost his hard on immediately! (Mind you, he was quite young at the time and knew nada! about girls) (He was 13..."I didn't even have hair on my balls!" he said)

As for doing someone "gudentite" (as he so glibly puts it), he says that it can be painful for the guy if his foreskin gets pulled back too much. (if your character has a foreskin, I guess).

There you have it, so far.

(Where was this thread when I was 20?)

On the other hand, there was this other guy I talked to once, and he said that all he and his girlfriend did one night was kiss. It sounded beautiful.

[shinigamiinochi]

At 20, I'm still a virgin and since I have issues with even slight intimacy, i'm ok with that, but my cousin was only thirteen the first time he had sex. According to him, he had a lot of sexual knowledge, but knowing and doing are completely different and the whole time he was so scared he couldn't enjoy it.

[Monkey Lady]

All right, well, I've never written a virgin scene before, so I wouldn't know what to do. So I guess I'll go ahead and beg for advice while I have an audience. What points are an absolute? What do I absolutely need to have?

And while I'm on it, I might as well mention that her partner is not the most sensitive person on the face of the planet. They're both in the villain category and he's a pretty hardened criminal, so there's not going to be "love" or anything. I see him as more of an amused spectator, curious about her actions and what drives her. He is more interested in the scientific and psychological aspects of everything. He looks for motives. He cares for her, but it's not "love" yet, for either of them. They share a common attraction, so it's convenient for them to have sex. That pretty much sums it up for them.

(I really, really appreciate all the help and advice I'm getting here; you guys are so nice!)

Well if you don't want the sickly sweet standard missionary position, and she's too shy to be on top, you might consider bending her over a desk or something. He's probably rather aggressive, right, so that might work.

I wouldn't do the blood thing either. It has it's place, but in this case probably not needed. After all, not every woman bleeds. For me (if you don't mind me telling you about it) he pushed in and I was like 'oh! that's a really snug fit! It kinda stings, but it's not bad...and now it's nice.' It felt nice, but not quite enough for me to orgasm, and he tried to go too long and hold off his orgasm so we could try like ten different poses (not quite) and in the end he got a little frustrated and lost his erection. Kind of disappointing...but still fun too. I only had a few streaks of blood in my panties later and that was more from a tiny tear on the outside. My sister, on the other hand, spotted for a couple of days...so to each her own I guess. The stories where there is a huge splotch of blood on the bed just annoy me. I mean REALLY? A gallon of blood you say? Gosh! I'd say write a fantasy of yours, how you'd like it to be if you were that woman, and you'll be fine. Just don't make it this nauseatingly sweet scene or something out of a horror movie, and we won't tease you later for it.

[Monkey Lady]

Things like "You have nothing to be ashamed of." or "You shouldn't cover a body like that." are reassuring without being romantic and would work really well if you set up his mood and general tone right.

Those are nice lines to use and probably realistic enough. If she's shy, she'll probably cover her breasts or clamp her legs together so he can't 'see' her. Having him reassure her is a nice idea and will help set up your transition to falling in love.

[Monkey Lady]

From my own experience, and that of friends, orgasms aren't very likely the first time. I'm sure that there may be exceptions to the rule if the guy is a generous lover, but your male lead doesn't necessarily sound like he would be. I have to beg to differ with NightScribe about the earth-shattering orgasms without clitoral stimulation. Some lucky women do have very intense orgasms with only vaginal (g-spot) stimulation, but there again, not too likely with an inexperienced female.

I agree. It's a little awkward the first time. An orgasm is sometimes hard to achieve because you don't really know their body yet and they don't know yours. You don't know what angles work best with them, or how they fit you, or you're just not comfortable yet. I couldn't orgasm my first time, though half of that had to do with him changing positions every two minutes, trying to fit them all in. I was really close while I was on top, but he sort of gave up on his own orgasm and lost his erection (he'd been drinking a little too). It was just weird the first time and we didn't know what to do with each other.

NightScribe, I've gotta say you're partially right. Intense orgasms, sans clitoral stimulation, are more difficult to achieve and less intense for most of us, but don't give up ladies. I've had some very nice vaginal orgasms...though clitoral ones are usually the best.

[Monkey Lady]

I should have clarified (as I did in the review I left) that most women need the clitoral stim, but some do climax from vaginal penetration. My issue was with "first time" fics where after a brief bit of thrusting, the female is all shuddering rapture, best orgasm of her life. Puh-leeze.

I totally hear ya! Wouldn't it be nice though?

[Zimarah]

What the heck, I'll throw my experience out there was well.

I wish I was one of those woman that had it easy the first time. My then boyfriend, now husband, was very slow and considerate, but it still hurt like a son-of-a-bitch and I did bleed a lot. (Edit: Let me put this in perspective. Before I had sex, I had trouble using a regular sized tampon.) Despite the fact that it can happen, it's not likely the way I would write it. It is fiction after all. It was standard missonary, and the first time for both of us. We got experimental later.

It also took me a few tries to finally orgasm, and I do require clitoral stimulation to do so. After that first time, however, no problems with achieving orgasm.

[greenwizard]

I agree with the bending her over a desk and doing it from behind idea, especially if you don't want to do missionary. I can't offer any input on female anatomy, but while having my anal cherry pooped I laughed a lot. I know that sounds weird... but both of us were virgins in that department and we had no clue what we were doing. It hurt like a bitch, but I was sober and really nervous. I was with my two female friends when they were talking about it. One of them was asking the other for advice, (Seriously... did they not see me sitting right there?) and the one was saying to make sure they had extra lube on hand because sometimes a girl doesn't lube herself up enough on the first time.

[Zhaladjin]

while having my anal cherry pooped I laughed a lot

Dear God I hope that's a typo :S