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Posted

The most rivitting example of cinimatic writing to grace the pages of this or any forum in years. That and a heavy dose of humility will get you a smile.

So how did Quamp react to his last post?

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Posted

Hey, you've been answering questions with questions since dinner. Are you going to stop, now?

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Because there's an alligator in the water trap, that's why!

Posted

Is it possible to make eye contact while performing oral sex on an elephant?

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Three. One with stripes, two with polka dots.

Posted

Is it me, or is the Senator's speech long on imagery, short on actual content?

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The helping verbs: is, am, are, was, were, be, being, been, has, have, had, do, does, did, shall, will, should, would, may, might, must, can, could.

Posted

How can you stand dating an English Major that corrects your sentence structure?

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The third man in charge of the janitorial staff of the Empire State Building.

Posted

Three dead, forty wounded, six missing in action; two fires, a five car pile-up and a loss of containment at the nuclear facility. What is Supergirl DOING?

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For any operation which affords access, or may afford access, there shall be two persons present, each authorized in writing, with sufficient technical knowledge with respect to the task to be performed to negate any chance of error.

Posted

Why did you carry the donuts back to bed on THAT?

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Because the variables won't and the constants aren't.

Posted

If we made clothes out of sandwiches, where would we keep our wallets?

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Thirteen stripes, of red and white, a field of blue, with white stars.

Posted

You don't have to use a telescope, why don't you just hold your hands cupped and squint?

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Passing two two zero feet, all conditions normal on the dive.

Posted

Great. The eyeballs are all mixed up. Which irises are yours?

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Outnumbered, sure, outgunned, maybe, but never outclassed.

Posted

Do you know what the Canadian military's motto is?

Think zebras, not mounties...

Posted

You wanna be beaten unconcious or whipped until stripes of skin are torn outta your hide?

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Oh, Paul Lynde, probably.

Posted

Here! I looked everywhere, then figured that it might have fallen into the well, so a rented a crane and lowered a platform down and dove in and felt around, but didn't find it, so i figured it might have sunk into the mud, so I got a sump and pumped all the mud out until we hit the rock base at the bottom, then climbed back up and ran all the mud through a sluice, and examined everything left in the mesh and found this, took it to a jeweler to have it polished and the stone reset and finally, here, because i love you so much, this is your wedding ring, right?

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The cloaking device keeps flickering.

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