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Posted

Why are all my cans of shaving cream empty?

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There are plenty more up on the shelf, behind the cookies.

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Posted

Did you see that sign, 'blowjobs half off for soldiers?'

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Please remain seated until the aircraft comes to a complete halt.

Posted

Oh, isn't that a cuddly and cute snake?

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The force required would exceed 400 foxbats per hour.

Posted

So why aren't you trying to fly to Russia and back in 45 minutes?

It's because the carpet didn't match the drapes.

Posted

Sir, the entire nation is asking why the President declared war on one room of the White House?

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It's the only thing meaner than a wolverine with a toothache.

Guest echtrae
Posted

Have you seen StoryJunkie on her latest rampage?

Follow the tutorial.

Posted

So, this fic gets me hot. So hot. Way hot. And my manmeat gets so hard. I guess there's something i can do, when it gets like that? Something to relieve the tensions? But i don't know how. How can i learn how to beat off?

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That's just one of the ads for the site, don't worry about it.

Guest echtrae
Posted

What is that annoying thing in the upper right corner?

It is, but a scratch.

Posted

I'm thinking about becoming a devout Republican. Wanna join me?

(I guess someone didn't know what "the carpet didn't match the drapes" means.)

It's very easy, I assure you.

Posted

Is it okay if I ask your mom out, some time?

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(I guess someone didn't know what "the carpet didn't match the drapes" means.)

(You guess wrong. It's referring to the relative pigmentation of the two main collections of hair on a woman, suggesting that at least one of them has been subject to color enhancement. I just didn't feel like using it that way. But go ahead, use it again, maybe someone else'll answer the way you want them to.)

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Dude! That's the biggest burrito I've ever SEEN!

Posted

So, what's your most successful pick-up line?

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It's not that sort of friendship.

Posted

How do you like the macrame pants?

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It's locked in a safe-within-a-safe, both welded shut, wrapped in sheets of expended uranium, dropped half a mile down in a salt mine, wedged under a granite boulder, buried under sixteen tons of fast-drying cement, and the shaft sealed with a steel cap. Plus, we put a sticker on the seal: No entry.

Posted

So what did you think of my last post in the orgy?

I just wanted a pretty girl to like me! Was that so wrong?

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