greenwizard

My diagnosis depends on what shrink you talk to that I've gone too. I swear I hate them all. And I won't take medications either. Someone once said to me they only make you "artificially happy" and I think she hit the nail on the head. I'm sorry if I want to experience genuine happiness even if it's not very often. I don't cut. I have enough pain from other things thank you very much. I do have suicidle thoughts a lot. The only reason I haven't gone through with it is because of my religious beliefs. Some don't do it because they're afraid of what will happen. I don't because I know what will happen. Though sometimes I find myself debating on which alternitive is worse. I know someone who has depression and was a cutter. I tried to help her and be there for her. She was a total sex addict, and even though I thought I helped her with that, it turns out I didn't. I found out through someone else that she lied to me a lot. She told me what I wanted to hear so that I would stick around. In a way I guess we helped each other throughout high school. She had lots of friends, but she told me things she couldn't tell anyone else too. She knew I wouldn't drop her like a diseased animal like a lot of highschool kids would tend to do. But then she went away to the navy. I had very little contact with her and things didn't go so well. She became an alcoholic as well as a sex addict. The mess she got herself into is more than I can handle. I continued to try, but eventually I had to just say screw it. She doesn't want help. She continues to lie to me and tell me what I want to hear, then goes out and does whatever she wants to anyway. She justifies it by saying she's an adult and can do what she wants. I was emotionaly invested in our relationship, but I don't know about her. She was working with my boyfriend when I had a herpes scare. I had thought that maybe she had it, and somehow passed it to me. A nurse told me that while it's rare, it can be passed through using the same towel and stuff. I should probably mention that she was staying with us because she didn't have a car. I just told her that I needed to know if she had it so I could tell the dr how much of a chance there was. A few days later my boyfriend, who hadn't said anything to coworkers about any of it, heard her telling them that I must just be a manwhore that was sleeping around behind his back because she's clean. Her attempt to protect her reputation didn't work though. It blew up in her face because she had told them all about going to a bar and meeting some guy, then going home with them a half hour later to fuck his brains out. And it all turned out that I just had a weird acne problem. I tell you all that so you'll understand why I gave up on her. It just became too much to deal with her shit on top of my own problems. I can't help her if she doesn't want it. Helping others is in my nature, but even I have my limits. Helping others is how I help myself in a way I guess. It gives me a purpose. I throw myself into that and my writing. I cope by doing stuff that I do enjoy and indulging in life's small simple pleasures.

I'm thinking about it, and it's hard to define what I would consider cheating. I mean if my boyfriend were to go out and have sex with someone that would DEFINITELY be cheating. Things like going on a date with someone is cheating, as well as kissing someone else in a romantic way. I mean if I go out to lunch with a female friend I might give her a little hello peck. I don't think flirting is cheating unless you want it to go somewhere. If you're just being friendly than it's harmless.

Nah... spanking isn't cheating. And we should take turns! I had other evil things in mind too. I"m so good at being evil I scare myself.

For men; I'm not overly picky about physical appearence. My only big thing is that they look neat and clean, and not sloppy. Though I like a strong jaw line and soulful eyes. Eyes really are the windows to your soul. Broad shoulders that taper down to a small waist is always a plus. For body type I like well toned. Guys who have huge muscles are just gross to me. And I have a major thing for long hair. For personality I like a strong sense of humor. Anyone that can make me laugh is ok in my book. I'm in to myths and legends so someone who is into that sort of stuff would be good. That being said, he doesn't have to share my religious views, but he needs to have an open mind. I want someone who likes to cuddle and is physically affectionate. And he has to be emotionally stable to deal with my craziness. I like most kinds of music so that isn't an issue, but he has to be able to listen to all of my stuff and not complain. Someone who knows when to be serious and knows when to joke around is important. Sharing my love of animals doesn't hurt either. For women; I like soft features with pouty lips. I definitely like a woman with curves. Every time I see a woman who's so thin her bones are sticking out I get the urge to feed her. As far as breasts, more than a handful is a waste. A c cup is the perfect size I think. Personality is pretty much the same. I like a woman with confidence. I want to slap those women who are a size 10 and think they need to go on a diet!

When I was diagnosed the dr told me to take fiber suppliments. Those don't work. Now eating stuff with whole grains helps... And last night's little problem wasn't helped by the fact that I had donuts for dinner. Yeah, I'm supposed to be on a diet low in fat and high in fiber and protein. I don't follow it... The more junkfood I eat the worse it is. And yes, I wanna see the cartwheels for myself. If you die I'm gonna reserrect you, and after my nap I'll tie you up and do evil things to you.

Yeah, he's said that I'm doing so well by myself it doesn't seem like I need him. He doesn't feel like he should bother. I've said over and over again please.... bother. I've noticed when he tickles my feet or back I don't do it that day. For me being tickled is just so much better than sex. But that's only when another person does it. When it comes to tickling toys are ok, but it just doesn't completely cut it.

The kink topic got me thinking. All of my kinks come out while I'm going solo, which is generaly a few times a day. My boyfriend on the other hand, has no sex drive to speak of. We don't have sex very often. Since I'm not the type to base a relationship on sex, I don't do too much complaining. I just take really long baths and disappear into the bedroom for long periods of time. The problem comes when he puts me down for it. He can have sex with me once a month, and jerk off twice a year (which I don't think is normal for an average healthy man). Part of the not much sex is a personal problem of his which I won't discuss. But he thinks the amount I break out the toys and pleasure myself is sick. He hardly ever does it so I should be the same way. So I decided to start this pole out of curiosity. I'm wondering what other people's habbits are, and if I really am going overboard.

Whoever said they were into Italian guys.... I'm half Italian My mom tells me that my biological father is an Italian soccer player. Ok so if it wasn't for one night stands I wouldn't be here.... But anyway... back to the topic at hand. I don't really have any kinks that I've played out, but I've had lots of kinky fantasies while masturbating. Some of them include incest, rape, water sports, sadism, and bestiality. I don't think I'd ever actually do most of those, but fantisizing is fun.

It's true that written erotica is dominated by females. Men are mostly visual creatures that want to see it on a video. The same goes for all the role playing groups I'm in, especially the ones geared toward slash. I'm one of the creative writing types. I have both feminine and masculine traits. It's hard to tell with me sometimes. *stands with the rest of the men*

I agree that walmart is evil. I only shop there because there's really no place else to go. That's kinda how walmart works. But the little bitch was using something legit to be an ass. My boyfriend is a few months younger than me. Him and I went to the local liquor store when I was 21 and he wasn't. The guy at the register carded us both. I was of legal age and the one who was buying, but the guy couldn't sell it to me because there was someone under 21 with me. He said that if he sold it to me knowing I was with someone underage and I gave it to my boyfriend he could get in trouble. He was nice about it so I don't think he was giving us a hard time. He told me to come back the next day without my boyfriend.

I agree with Becca. Trust me, if there's blood, that means something is bleeding. The human body is not meant to leak blood. Just because your parents never cared (and I know what that's like) doesn't mean you shouldn't cupcake. If you don't go get checked out i'll... i'll... hunt you down wrap a rope around your neck and drag you! I'm a healer can't ya tell... As for the cramps comment... way off. It's not that men have a higher pain tolerence, it's that we're programmed from birth to be macho and pretend like it doesn't bother us. And me, I have something wrong with my digestive tract. I was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome, but I"m not entirely sure about that diagnosis. I get very intense stomach cramps every time I have to shit. And if I so much as eat a fucking cracker less than three hours before bed I'm up most of the night on the toilet whimpering and getting blury vision. Last night was one of those nights. And yet, I'm not saying to you 'at least you know what I go through on a daily basis'. Nope. I'm threatening to hunt you down and hurt you if you don't seek medical help. I care because it's in my nature.

Feet! I definitely have a major foot fetish. Long toes are really cute. My obsession with feet could have sometghing to do with how sensitive mine are. Suck on my toes and I'll be your best friend for life

Kids are overrated. I can't stand them, I never could. Almost all of my female friends have had babies (except ironically my slut friend). She tried to have a baby when she was married. It's probably a good thing she lost it because she got divorced a little over a month after that. Every time I hear a screaming baby I want to kill it. I honestly don't think I have the patience to be a parent. But my boyfriend loves kids and wants at leat one... Maybe some day we'll adopt or something. My mom keeps telling me I'll feel different about wanting to kill a baby if it's my own.

No virgins here. I was actually a virgin until I met my boyfriend two years ago. I messed around a little before that, but never actually went the whole way. I've always been a bit of a romantic. Movies really don't portray sex how it really is. My first time was... I don't know how to describe it. We were both virgins who had no idea what we were doing. It was horrible. Things got better eventually.

Hello, I'm in the market for a beta once again. I did a story last year , and after a long break due to many stresses in my life, I want to start on the sequel. It's going to be a James/Lucius mainly. There's also going to be some Harry/Draco happening in later chapters. What I really need is someone to check for spelling/grammar. It would also be great to have help with character development and stuff. My email is silverdiver19@hotmail.com

Yep.... one of the few things that keeps me going is that she'll eventually fall in a pile of shit and won't get back out. Her mommy and daddy aren't going to live forever. Her and her brothers don't know how to take care ofthemselves. They've never had to hold down a full time job to support themselves. They just all live at home and smoke weed all day. I know that when they're parents are gone they're going to up shit creek without a paddle. I might be screwed when my mom is gone, but I'll have a better chance at digging myself out. I just won't have a safety net anymore, which is scarry but there's nothing I can do about it. I at least have some experience in taking care of myself.

It's some gaming company this time. My credit card company is taking care of those charges on there I believe. Actually, it seems to always be gaming companies. The last time this happened on a major scale it was NetDragon through paypal. My boyfriend opened up a paypal account because he wanted to sell something on ebay. His account got hijacked and several more were created in his name. It seems like every time we call them up two or three more accounts were opened in his name. And HSBC.... They kept letting the NetDragon charges through because it showed up on their system as a subscription. The stupidity of some people is really starting to scare me... Needless to say, I don't do business with HSBC anymore. I had to get the Better Business Burueau involved, but it did eventually get taken care of. Getting the money back in my bank account is going to be a litle trickier. The bank wants me to contact the merchant. It's a company called Auren Newfarm. The only contact I've found for them for the US is an email adress! So I apparently have to wait to see if they'll actually get back to me. If they don't in a few days I'm going to have to go into the bank's main office and sign some papers stating I didn't authorize the charges. I'm just hoping and praying that there's some end in sight to all of this mess.

Ok, my turn to bitch and vent. What in the bloody fucking hell gives people the idea to steal other people's credit cards and go on a spending spree? What kind of person would do this? And why do I seem to attract them? Today my bf called the bank to see if a deposit he was expecting had come yet. It turned out we were over $100 in the hole! Of course we rushed right down to the bank to see what had happened. Well, my bf had tried to buy some video game online without telling me. He also decided to use the debit card (I have decided that those things are evil). We agreed when all of this shit happened the last time with his identity getting stolen that we would never under any circumstances would he use the debit to buy anything online. The whole point was to avoid what happened today. Anyway, he told me about it after the money had been refunded because the game he ordered was out of stock. And when we went to the bank it turned out that there were four more chages from the same company! He only bought the one game. To add insult to injury, I called up my credit card to see what was on it because I was thinking about going and getting a cheesecake or something to make me feel better. Do you know what I found? Four more charges from that fucking gaming company!! I don't know how they got my credit card, but they did. I didn't get my cheesecake because my card is now reported stolen. This is like the fifth or sixth time my card has been stolen in two years!!! It's getting really tiresome. And my bf had the balls to yell at me for getting pissed at him. We have no money, and we're out of things like milk and sugar. He says that I've fucked up and have no right to be mad at him. I've overdrawn us buying things for myself, and he was buying a game he thought I might like so we could play together. It's true, I did overdraw us by doing stupid shit when we first moved in together. But I learned. Lately when we overdraw his fingerprints are all over it so to speak. And I told him to never use the debit card ever for any reason online. He went and did it anyway. Things are incredibly tight as is. We should be able to get the money back, but what are we going to do until then? I know from experience that the merchant bank has thirty days to refund the money if indeed the charge is found to be fraudulant. I don't think that the utility companies and credit card companies will wait thirty days for their money.

*gives DemonGoddess a big hug*? I may be young, but I can still empithize. I've learned a lot since I've been out on my own. My bf and I work hard and struggle for everything we have. My bf works his ass off and does everything he can to not give his boss any excuse to fire him. But a female friend of mine I've known since high school is like those lazy fucks you're talking about. She got fired from her first job for not showing up because she met some guy and was practically living with him. She would spend most of her paycheck at the bar because she lived with her parents and had no bills to pay. She got another job and would swear and talk about her sexlife in front of the customers... and didn't get fired. That job she quit for a better one. When she needed a car someone gave her one for free. I don't like badmouthing my friends but... we wanna strangle her! She has no real responsibility and everything just seems to get handed to her. I can't complain too much. My mom does help us out quite a bit when we need it. But we don't go out to the bar, we don't go shopping for clothes, we don't spend money like it's water. We pay our bills and we're just barely holding our heads above water. She falls in a pile of shit and comes out smelling like a rose. It just doesn't seem fair does it?

Hmmm.... Hand over the cadbury eggs and no one gets hurt.... Actually, I come from a long line of chocoholics, but I'm not one myself. I get a craving for it now and then, but I can't eat a lot in one sitting. A hershey bar usually lasts me like three days. Is it just me or does chocolate make anyone else thirsty? Cadbury is definitely my favorite brand though. I can't get enough of those creme eggs.

Hi people!! I'm known by a lot of different names, but most people call me Will. My penname is greenwizard. I write mostly in the Harry Potter section. I haven't writen anything in a while, but I hope to start up again soon. I just need to get my ass in gear. My major hobby is roleplaying. I only do slash if I can help it. I'm always looking for new writing partners to do threads with. So basically, I'm a very bored and lonely "housewife".

You wanna talk about scarred, my mom and step dad actually went at it while I was in the bed. I didn't know it at the time, but I overheard her talking about it with some friends years later. I was scared of thundestorms when I was little and I guess one of those times my step dad was horny and not taking no for an answer. My mom had her back to him and I guess they were careful to not wake me. Fortunately for me I don't remember a thing. But the knowledge that it happened is.... ewwww.

I think folding clothes is one of those things that you either can do, or can't. I can't. My clean clothes are in a laundry basket by my dryer. I can sort of fold clothes when I really want to, but it doesn't look very neat.

I had my wisdom teeth out a long time ago. I was like 14 and an x ray showed that mine were sideways (with one even upside down). Leave it to me to have weird teeth. It ended up being major surgery. Again, leave it to me to have no swelling and barely any pain. But I hope you feel better. Just get lots of rest and you'll be back to normal in no time.

I know exactly how you feel. Situations like yours are why I date men, though that isn't without it's own problems. I am a very insecure person and I constantly need reassured. I drive my current boyfriend crazy. But fortunately for me he loves me and puts up with me. I don't know your gf personally, but from what you've writen, I'd throw her out of a third story window. First of all, seriously, who goes into someone's apartment and just takes their shirt off without a second thought...? I mean, I'm a blond, and I'm not even that stupid. I would take a guess that she knew what she was doing the entire time. Maybe she just felt like a little excitement. And her saying things that upset you.... that is just plain wrong. I've said hurtful things to people while I'm fighting with them, but I always apologize when we make up. She might have seemed like the perfect girl when you started dating, but a lot of times you don't get to know the real person until you've been dating a while. Even if she seems back to her old sweet self, she did it once she'll do it again.