greenwizard

Lately all my boyfriend and I do is fight. This morning was no exception of course. And why when you're already down, does it seem that there are lots of people that just make things worse? And on top of that everything seems to go wrong? Ok, I've done my bitching. I feel slightly better. I'm gonna go curl up in a ball now.

I am so sorry you feel that way cupcake.

Cool thanks. Now I have something new to explore and play with.

I loose all the time. I suck at games Hmm.. lemme think.... Well, I've never betrayed someone that I care about, not on purpose anyway.... [/color]

I still haven't entirely figured the whole thing out but.... my question pertains to naughty points. Are those what people keep calling money? And what in the heck do you do with them?

She looks good from what I can see. I've stated before that I like a woman with curves. And Zyx... while you're entitled to your opinion, you don't have to be so rude about it. It actually is a real problem. An average woman sees men drooling over a woman who has had so much plastic surgery she could be called Barbie, and you think that this average girl needs to just get over it? And of course as long as "Barbie" is around, men don't even aknowlege the average girl's existence, no matter how naturally beautiful she is. Cultures have been telling women that they aren't good enough for centuries, today's culture is no different. Shall I bring up girdles? Women used to wear those things because beauty was an unaturally small waist, even though it did considerable damage to their internal organs. And has anyone heard of foot binding? Chinese men once had it in their heads that tiny feet were sexy. So women bound their feet up to deform them and make them tiny. Of course walking was painful, but they had nice feet. And last but not least... my favorite time period.. Ancient Egypt. Both wealthy men and woman had to put on pounds of makeup and jewelry. They shaved off all their natural hair and wore wigs. Those are just a few examples of the insane things humans have done to beautify themselves for the opposite sex. Personally, I think we need to cut the crap and concentrate on natural beauty. I am so tired of getting judged for my looks it isn't funny. I am an intelligent person with a lot to offer, but people decide whether or not they want anything to do with me usualy based on how cute my ass is....

*Banned* for being a SOGGY MONKEY! P.S. Yeah... I have been into my allergy meds lol

Ok, new rant for me. Is it really fair to judge someone presently for what they did in the past? I mean, I've done things I'm not proud of, though I won't go into detail. I personally think I shouldn't still be held accountable. I mean it was a REALLY long time ago people! I've learned from my past mistakes. I'm not entirely the same person I was then. But some people won't give me a chance... I have to say it really pisses me off. Why bother to change at all?

It's because of this wonderful culture that we live in that says if you're not a walking skeleton with skin you're fat and ugly. She thinks she's ugly because she doesn't look the the models on tv and in magazines. It's sick really.... and no one is doing anything about it.

Oddly, not much bothers me when it comes to reading. I have read some pretty weird shit and liked it. After I'm done I'll be like wtf... how did I get turned on by that? But when in the moment I just go with it. I believe that there is a big difference between fantasizing and doing. I'm a little more conservative when it comes to writing though. I'll do incest, BDSM, rape if it's important to the plot, and minors over the age of 14.

When I portay evil in a character I like to make them seem very... calm. Like when most people do something bad it's usualy because they lost their temper. There's lots of them shouting and screaming. But what scares people is when someone should be throwinging a tantrum, but they just sit still and are eerily quiet. And when they see something awful they show no emotion. Maybe you could have something awful happen, and have the uncle just pretend to get as upset as everyone else, but only one or two people see through his act.

Only God knows when the world will end. It's in his master plan. If you try to read it your memory of it will be erased. I will agree that something bad is going to happen soon though.

Good for you Lost_Soul! Most people really never do find their soul mate. Some days I wonder... When I first met my boyfriend I felt like that. But we started living together and lots of problems popped up. We started fighting a lot. I think it's because we both have our own issues. We got along much better in earlier lifetimes.

I didn't like the game fuel. I do like livewire though. The original pitch black was better than the new and improved. I try to stay away from dew though. I get all hyper and drive everyone crazy.

Yeah... exactly. It's insane. Oh, I should probably clarify something. In the "are there any virgins out there?" thread, I said that my boyfriend was the one who took my virginity. That's true, but at the same time it isn't. He was the first person I've had consensual sex with. If I didn't consent, then to me it doesn't count. I refuse to let anyone "take" my virginity. Maybe I'm just overly stubborn. The only authority figure I have ever told that believed me was a friend of mine; an also gay cop. Hmm... I have male friends that are also gay, and I haven't had sex with them... how odd. The most I've done with any of them is given them a hello kiss, and we sometimes slap and grab each other's asses when we're joking around. Maybe I'm a human being rather than a mindless sex machine... All of the rape victim support groups I've found are for women. Now seriously, no offense to all of you ladies out there... I believe that men an women should have equal rights. But this country has gotten so focused on women's rights, that men are loosing a few rights in the process. I guess there are laws now that companies have to have so many women working for them at any given time. Well, if a job is open and they need a woman because they're one short, it doesn't matter how qualified the men who apply are. If the only woman to apply isn't nearly as qualified as ten men who applied, she'll most likely get the job anyway. How fair is that? We need to stop looking at gender and start looking at people.

I agree with you on all points myself. Rant 1: What we need to do is IMPEACH OUR FUCKING TRAINED MONKEY MORON OF A PRESIDENT AND HIS FOLLOWERS!!! Sorry, but that's been under my skin for a while now. They impeached President Clinton for having oral sex with some other woman, but they won't impeach Bush for lying to Congress to go to war??? WTF!!?? My boyfriend has a very hard time finding a job because he doesn't have a high school diploma. After months of looking, he's now flipping burgers. I have cavaties that I can't get fixed. When I need to go to the dr I can't. Why do you ask? No health insurance of course! Our state does have aid, but my income is too much. My income is disability because of the severity of my depression. How in the fucking hell can someone on disability make too much for medical assistance?? If my boyfriend didn't work we wouldn't be able to pay our bills! And the other fucked up part.... Since we aren't legally married our incomes are supposed to be separate. They didn't count his on my aplication because my disabilty check is too much all on its own. But on his application they counted mine. He has a fucking heart problem!! One dr told him it was mitrovalve. Another said it wasn't, but wouldn't tell him what it was... He needs to be seen regulary by a doctor to monitor it so he doesn't.. um... die! How can people be so concerned with people in other countries when I'm sitting here with prety bad allergies and a strong family history of diabetes, and I have a boyfriend with something wrong with his heart, and we can't get help. Rant 2: I've been raped. I've never told anyone... No one is sympethetic to a gay man getting raped. All gay men think about is sex, and hell a big strong man such as myself should be able to fight off an attacker. I was drugged by an ex boyfriend and he did what he wanted to my unconcious body. I was also raped by a woman that I thought was my friend. She made a bet with another of her female freinds that she could get me to sleep with her. She made up some crap about being depressed and got me to go to a bar with her. She kept buying me drinks until i was so drunk I couldn't walk. I don't remember any of it. I know about both instances because of other people. The first one, we had a mutual friend with us. He had gone to bed, but came down and walked in on it. He stopped it, and a few weeks later decided to pull me aside and tell me about it. The second one, the friend she made the bet with told me. She said she never meant for things to happen like that. But I'm a man and I got laid so I should be happy right? Women have been using the women's rights movement to their advantage. There are sexist men, but there are also sexist women. I personally don't think that there is such a thing as an inferior sex. Men and women are just different. We still have those hunter gatherer instincts from long ago. Rant 3: I believe in animal rights. I'm an animal lover. I feel bad for animals that go to the slaughterhouses. But I'm also a carnivore at heart. People killing animals just for their fur pisses me off. Killing them just for sport is just as bad. I have neighbors that hunt deer by the dozens and they just leave the bodies to rot. I'd like to shoot them. But human beings were made to eat meat. It's a little thing called the food chain. Right now we have oscars, which I guess are a type of pihrana. If I were to put a goldfish in that tank they'd eat it. Maybe PETA should come to my house and yell at them... I don't feed them live goldfish, I couldn't. I feed them freeze dried bloodworms and krill. But the fact of the matter is, if those animals were to be released then they would get eaten by other predetaors most likely.

I suppose Atheism could technicaly be considered a religion. It's the state of not believing in a higher being. I think science is interesting. I myself like to know how things work. But here is a little food for thought.... I've watched the Harry Potter movies so much my boyfriend is threatening to burn them. When I put in the DVD and it loads, it plays a little mini movie thing and goes to the play screen. If you don't press play in a certain amount of time it just plays the mini movie thing over and over again until you do. I know this because I have gotten into arguments with my boyfriend, or he wanted help with something and I've been taken away from the TV for an amount of time. Now sometimes I'll put the movie in and then go out to the kitchen to get myself a snack, usually popcorn with extra butter. If there is no other living person in the house, but I yell out 'can someone push play for me?' I'll come back with my snack and the movie will be playing. If I tried to explain that using science I think my poor brain would explode. The explination that doesn't make my head hurt is that my house is haunted. There was also the time my boyfriend had to format his computer and we were looking for the discs to reinstal one of his games. We tore the damn house apart looking for that stupid box with the discs. We gave up and just went to bed. The next morning the box was sitting on top of his computer. I've also been roughly shaken awake with no one in the room. You might say I imagined it, but it's hard to imagine someone holding your shoulders and shaking you hard enough to give you whiplash. When I went downstairs to investigate why I was so rudely woken, I saw that I left the crockpot that I had chili in on. The chili was completely dried up and burnt, and it was smoking a little. If I hadn't turned it off it might've caught fire.

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.... Aristotle. I read what you wrote and thought about it. Then I stated what I deep down in my soul know. I'm not trying to convert you. If you want to continue to believe only in science then by all means go ahead. Just don't put me down because I choose to trust something that I can't see in the physical world. I may be wrong, but all you seem to be doing is saying the same thing over and over when someone presents a belief different than your own. It doesn't seem like you're willing to entertain anything other than science rules all. Science is interesting. It was one of my best subject in school. I've also seen the the laws of science defied with my own two eyes. There have been times when modern medicine has done nothing for me, but buying household herbs and following a recipe created by people hundreds of years ago cured what ailed me. You could say that it was only the power of suggestion and belief, but that isn't based on science either. All I can tell you is that it works. I suppose that that is all I have to say. One of us is right, and the only way to find out who it is is to die. And I'm not allowed to do that for a very long time.

With all the depressing subjects out there I thought maybe I would lighten the mood Let's get to know each other and talk about our favorite foods! I love love love Italian. If anyone wants to get me to eat, all they have to do is wave something with lots of pepperoni, tomato sauce, and cheese under my nose. My overall favorite is a toss up between lasanga and pizza. A friend just came over to check on me and brought a homemade pepperoni pizza.... I'm so full I can't move. He is so evil he knew I wouldn't be able to resist! I really like fruit too. Fresh fruit is the best. Canned is all soggy. It doesn't get much better than fresh picked wild strawberries.

Why do people keep thinking I'm a girl? lol I have that one yahoo email.... but I just wanted to make a female roleplay character dammit!! *sigh* I sucked at playing a female too...Go figure. But you're right Juno. As I said about my friend, you can't help those that don't seem to care enough to want help. She is perfectly content to drink, smoke weed, and have sex with random strangers. What can I do? When I was trying I used tough love on her. She would sink into self pity when her latest boyfriend dumped her I would point out that it was her own damn fault. If she wanted things to change she was going to have to change the way she went about things. Surprisingly going to a bar and going home with a man to fuck his brains out first, then deciding if you want a relationship with him never seems to work out for her. I have a high sex drive myself, but I've been able to contain myself. I have never gone home with a random stranger despite getting invites. I content myself with my hand because I have very old fashioned views about sex. That and I know that just having sex with a random person that doesn't care about me wouldn't fill the void. My hand does a better job than a random stranger would.

It sounds like things have gotten pretty rough for you. To ask if you're acting normal is a loaded question though. Normal is a relative term. What's normal for me probably isn't normal for you. I probably would have failed everything and had a complete nervous breakdown. I don't blame you for not wanting to go home. Your family almost makes mine seem functional.

Hmm... strange places... Well, after reading this post I don't feel so dirty and strange lol. The weirdest I guess was out in the woods during a rainstorm in the mud. I love the rain. Then there's on top of the dining room table, and the bathtub. I can't really think of any other strange kinky places. I guess I'm just tame.

Well, you guys used lots of big words and philosophies. The fact is that people may debate this topic for the rest of the millenia, but the existence or nonexistence of God will never be proven by science. Science is strictly a man made thing. It's the same as the existence of ghosts. Science will never prove that either because science and the spiritual are on completely different planes of existence. I don't think religion is all bad, just the people who use it to manipulate others. Christianity seems to be the worst of religions (no offense to anyone out there that is a Christian). They are the ones who throughout history have made it their personal crusade to get everyone to believe as they do. Catholics and Mormons are the worst of the Christians. Those in power use God as a way to get people that follow them blindly to do what they want. I myself follow the Wiccan philosophy, and while researching this religion I read all of the horrible things Christians have done in the name of God. Wiccans were made out to be devil worshippers and slaughtered by the hundreds. In reality nothing could be further from the truth. The basic Wiccan philosophy is 'Do what thou wilt but harm none'. While they were being persecuted the Wiccans never once fought back. They believed that if they did it would give them bad karma. I don't believe God exists, I know. I fear him. My personal belief is that if you're not afraid of God you're an idiot. He could just decide to poof you out of existence. But I guess everyone's personal view depends on their experiences. I remember some of my incarnations, and will never forget getting screamed at by God. I think you have to be REALLY bad to get screamed at, so very few souls will have that experience. If you want to know what I did, only ask if you have an open mind and won't mock me. Ok, I've said my peace. You don't have to agree with me, just please don't treat me like I have the plague because of my views. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I can't make you believe what I do, and I'm not even going to try.

I had a way of controling myself, but I'm not allowed to do it anymore. I didn't eat. My stomach could be growling so loudly someone across the room could hear it, but I'd just keep watching TV. I was accused of having an eating disorder. Wanting to be thin had nothing to do with it (and yes guys can get eating disorders too it just isn't as common as girls getting one). It did start out as me wanting attention. I wanted to see if anyone cared. Those that did care woulid tie me to a chair and make me eat. I think that's a big part of what screwed my digestive system up like it is. Well that and family history. I didn't tell any of that to the dr though. The last thing I needed was one more person wanting to make everything all better with a pill. I have to have at least one meal a day or I get tied to a chair In a way it's annoying, and in a way it helps. I mean they wouldn't go to all that trouble if they didn't care right? Having someone that cares around definitely helps. Lost_Soul, if you need someone to talk to I'm here. I'm an aquired taste, but you might like me I know you have your lover, but sometimes having more than one person to talk to can help. The same goes for anyone who needs someone to talk to.

That's how I feel about it. With my already high sex drive, perfume commercials that are borderline porn don't help. I could turn on the TV at any given time and find something about sex. While I think being able to talk about this stuff with other people is a very good thing, I think the media takes it overboard. It gets me thinking and I'm almost always turned on! But my boyfriend isn't in the mood. We both feel that it's not right to pressure someone into sex when they really don't want it. I used to hint to see if he was in the mood, but all that got me was rejected most times. So I just started to not even bother with him and went and took care of it myself. He may really find me attractive, but when I can strip naked in the living room and can't pry him away from the video games, it doesn't feel good. It seems to be kind of a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. If I try to romance him and sit on my hands I'm constantly getting rejected because he's rarely ever in the mood. If I say screw it and go upstairs then he sees it as me not needing him; and therefore isn't ever in the mood.