pittwitch

My very first fanfic, Harry Potter, Snape/OFC. I took it down to work on it and my kid ran a magnetic toy over the CD.

I was easily lost in the fantastical world of Ghost and Gerry once more. The fierce devotion the two lovers show to each other, the depth of the care that Ghost feels towards his charges, and the lengths, challenges and obstacles he confronts in their defense were spell-binding. His dilemma was my delight.

Thank you all!
This ought to be an interesting set of drabbles.
DVP though, is three words even in initialism form so I feel I ought to be anal and disregard it as part of this challenge, but I will maybe try and do a sixth drabble with it anyway. Because, fuck it, it shows willing.
Hope to do the first one today
Thanks again!

This is a job... for COSMO:
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a6896/cervical-orgasm-guide/
Anything beyond that is gonna be, from your male perspective, like putting your balls in a mincer and slowly turning the handle while listening to a deaf guy whistle.
As for the horror story, fuck it, just shove it right through there and make a point of noting the blood and agony and pissing self with excruciating pain. It's all good.
...What? I'm JayDee, damn it...

It's way in the future, right?
"The JayDee Memorial Planetary Research Center"

Close your eyes and imagine the scene unfolding before you like a movie. Describe it.
Personally, I can't stand when someone feels like they have to beat me over the head with things as a reader. I don't need a blow by blow. Set the stage. Engage the readers' senses: sight, touch, taste, smell, hearing.
Are the girls giggling? Does he hear that? Is the blanket scratchy or soft? Does someone's soft hair tickle against a bare thigh?
I don't necessarily need the mechanics of ejaculation spelled out ... we've all seen it, experienced it in some way or other.
I agree with BW - sometimes less explicit is far more erotic and sensual.

Change from fanfic to original to reach a wider audience?
Well, it worked for E L James!

My profile says 2006 but I'm sure I was reading well before I registered. Time sure flies when we're having fun!

My profile says 2006 but I'm sure I was reading well before I registered. Time sure flies when we're having fun!

I didn't find AFF until around 2009, and didn't register right away, although I was reading happily before then. Funny how fast this became "home," though...

I know, I know, my current user account wasn't registered until 2005-07-30, but I started coming to AFF regularly on December 21st 2004. There wasn't a forum back then! Just the wossnames, yahoo groups. Remember yahoo groups? Ewwww....
It seems a fuck of a long time, to be honest. I was only 22 when I started reading here, and a whole heck of a lot of the stuff I used to do online I just don't anymore. I've tried to think of a few bigger fandom changes over the decade:
1) Livejournal! I used to spend an assload of time on LJ, it was great for fandom stuff, great for discussions, great for pointing and laughing at drama.
2) Trolls used to be fun! These days, they pretty much all appear to be psychopaths. Not even funny psychopaths. Old days trolls could wind users up, have a laugh, move on. Now they ring people up and threaten to rape them to death over video games. What the fuck, assholes?
3) Harmonians still believed there was a chance Harry would end up plowing Hermione. And old school trolls could wind them up.
4) Fanfiction.net didn't enforce any of their ru... nevermind. That one's still good.
5) I could have done one of these lists for hours and made it entertaining. Now I'm, like, old and my mind's going and frankly I probably did too much weed back then.
6) I guess I just miss the most amusing of the old users. Sometimes I stop and wonder what they're up to.
10 fucking years. This isn't some "Hey, I'm old school! I'm a fucking old user look at me" bullshit, because nobody cares about that crap, and anyway, compared to some I'm still a noob!
It's much more of a "holy fuck where did the time go?"

While Bronx might not spank you, I WILL warn you and then ban you, Magusfang, if you spread lies like that about AFF, joking or otherwise. And no, I'm not kidding.

While I believe magusfang is joking with us, allow me to clarify that this site, this haven of free speech, will not ban all Harry Potter stories unless or until the unlikely event of JKR issuing a Cease & Desist order occurs.

Grammar: a lost art.

I am going to be making lists of what the lazy slugs in my house will be doing while I work. Because, yes, this is work. I have 2 teenagers and a daft one that are all quite capable of handling rudimentary tasks, like putting things in the damned dishwasher, or making a damned bed. Or even putting away their own clean laundry. They know where to FIND the clean clothing, so putting it where they usually find it shouldn't be too much of a stretch.
And I have wine. If they piss me off enough, I'll order another case...

The best thing about that line is that you could re-use it if you ever wrote a scat fic.
Edit: bah - BW beat me too it!

Close your eyes and imagine the scene unfolding before you like a movie. Describe it.
Personally, I can't stand when someone feels like they have to beat me over the head with things as a reader. I don't need a blow by blow. Set the stage. Engage the readers' senses: sight, touch, taste, smell, hearing.
Are the girls giggling? Does he hear that? Is the blanket scratchy or soft? Does someone's soft hair tickle against a bare thigh?
I don't necessarily need the mechanics of ejaculation spelled out ... we've all seen it, experienced it in some way or other.
I agree with BW - sometimes less explicit is far more erotic and sensual.

Close your eyes and imagine the scene unfolding before you like a movie. Describe it.
Personally, I can't stand when someone feels like they have to beat me over the head with things as a reader. I don't need a blow by blow. Set the stage. Engage the readers' senses: sight, touch, taste, smell, hearing.
Are the girls giggling? Does he hear that? Is the blanket scratchy or soft? Does someone's soft hair tickle against a bare thigh?
I don't necessarily need the mechanics of ejaculation spelled out ... we've all seen it, experienced it in some way or other.
I agree with BW - sometimes less explicit is far more erotic and sensual.

Okay. I'm going to stand right up and stay this loud and proud...
I love good concrit.
There. I said it. Now, what do I mean by good concrit? Tell me where I screw up, by all means. If I have run-on sentences (a major problem of mine), tell me. If I messed up the chronology of a story, or have a dangling thread, tell me. If my vocabulary for a character is quite frankly OOC, tell me. All of these things are things I need to know to improve as a writer, and I know I can improve. I'll keep trying to do better until they pry the keyboard (or whatever it's become in future) from my cold, dead fingers.
But I also need to know that I did some things right. Tell me what worked, what you loved, what made you stick with me long enough to want to review.
I'm going to quote a review I got here, on AFF:
I haven't made it back to fix the issues, but can I tell you how awesome a review this is? And this detail was for a 1,000 word flash fic. I LOVE reviews like this. Don't get me wrong. I won't turn away a short and sweet, "Loved it!" review, because that's always fun. I don't even mind hearing, "I just didn't get into it." That's fair enough, and I'm not silly enough to expect everyone to always love my work. But to take the time to give a thoughtful review like this is just so damned flattering to me as a writer.
Now, why don't we see more of this? Authors like the one you encountered, who only want to hear how marvelous they are. Me, I learned a long time ago that we only learn by making mistakes. So, I play with words, and put them together, and I really, really want someone to tell me what they think.
I do try to give concrit when I can, but I have to admit, it's harder as a staff member. I'm always mindful that I am an archive mod here, and even though I only leave concrit reviews as just another member, I do run the risk of someone thinking it's an official sort of thing. Trust me, it's not, and I am making a conscious effort to review more when I read for pleasure. And so far, no one has hated my concrit, so let's hope that continues.

Gotta agree, regular schedule is the way to go. I wish I could keep regular with updates meself!

I'm drawing a complete blank here. What are you trying to even say?

I've noticed a really weird trend in the fan fiction world, and it's utterly baffling to me. I'm talking about the fan fiction reader who doesn't write, themselves, but seems to think that all fan fiction should be tailored specifically to their tastes. They go on public forums and post things like, "Here are the things I hate about fan fiction stories!" and then proceed to make a long list of things they dislike seeing in fan fiction, implying that these things should never be "allowed" in any fan fiction publication. These are the same people who will write reviews saying, "Ew, gross! This is disgusting, why would you even write this?" even when the story was clearly tagged.
I don't get this mindset at all. It's such a weird sort of entitlement.
"How dare these authors spend their valuable time creating stories that they don't get paid for, and then post them online for me to read absolutely for free! They should magically know what I want and write only that! It's such a waste of my time to have to scroll through stories that don't interest me! All these authors I don't like should gtfo because I DESERVE BETTER!"
Here's what I have to say to these readers:
Why do you think you deserve better? Even if the story is the stupidest thing ever written.... It's free. What are you offering in exchange for the author's hard work that's supposed to be so valuable that it will motivate them to want to write something you personally will like? Obviously it's not money, because in most cases, fan fiction readers don't make the "leap" to purchasing original fiction by their favorite authors. They're hard-core freebie-seekers. And it's sure as hell not attention, because fan fiction authors just don't really get much of that either (have you ever calculated the average review per hit ratio? It's abysmal.).
What exactly do these readers think authors get out of writing fan fiction? Are we supposed to magically know that they're reading and enjoying it, and be spiritually fulfilled by the knowledge that some schmuck in Idaho thinks we "write good smut"? Why do they suppose we are doing this, if it's not for attention or money?
Reality check: Most authors are just writing stories to entertain themselves, because anything else would be an exercise in constant disappointment. We share our stories online out of the goodness of our heart because what the hell? It's already written and maybe someone, somewhere will derive some enjoyment from it... Some of us listen to feedback if it's given, but by the time the story gets posted, we've already received our main "payment," because the fun of writing the story was the whole point for us.
Ultimately, we're writing for ourselves, not for the readers. If the readers happen to like it, that's just a nice bonus.
What some people don't seem to realize is that learning to write well is a HUGELY time-consuming endeavor that is very unlikely to ever "pay off." It's a labor of love. The very fact that anyone ever even tries to do it at all is pretty damn impressive, no matter how bad their attempts are.
Let's talk about what it REALLY takes to learn to write well, shall we? Because realistically, this is what you're expecting writers to do FOR FREE when you demand high quality fan fiction.
First, you have to spend literally years learning the nuts and bolts of your language (grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc). And just knowing what's correct isn't enough for fiction. You have to understand WHY it's considered correct, keep track of how the language is changing over time to be sure that your knowledge isn't out of date, and learn how to break the rules intelligently for artistic effect (to achieve effects such as unique voice, character dialects, etc.) Even things such as whether words are Germanic or Latin in origin is important (because Germanic words sound 'casual' and Latin words sound 'academic' and 'smart' and that makes a difference for how your work is perceived by the reader).
At the same time, you have to spend years reading and studying anything you can get your hands on. Being well-read from an author's perspective does not mean having read 100 books within your favorite genre. It means having read AND ANALYZED thousands of books, across all genres, both in fiction and nonfiction. It means reading books you don't like to try to figure out why other people like them. It means reading in genres you hate so that you can understand the perspectives of the types of people who may be the villains in your novels someday. You need to have not only read for enjoyment, but studied the structure, voice, use of dialogue, description, etc... Reading as a writer is hard work, and it takes a special kind of person to think of it as 'fun'.
And that's still not the end of it. Even a barely passable writer who has done none of this will at the very least have spent countless hours writing stories that will never see the light of day (expect perhaps in an online forum or critique group, since feedback can help writers get better...) And all of this is just the bare minimum of what is required to write basic commercial-style fiction. If you want to write something more "artistic" you have to go back and study the classics, and also keep track of what's being done in the lit fic world, so that you understand what has already been done and why it was unique or groundbreaking. Getting an MFA doesn't hurt, if this is the route you want to go (though it's by no means mandatory).
Now think about all that for a second. Knowing what is required for "good" writing, what does bitching about bad fan fiction contribute to this process? How does it help authors to write better stories (or even make them WANT to!)? It doesn't.
So let's talk about action steps.
Let's say that you really deeply do want to actually help promote good fan fiction. There are two main ways you can do it:
1) Provide substantive critiques for authors who want them.
Reviews help writers know that someone is enjoying their work, and even bad reviews can help a writer who is actively trying to get better. Hits don't count. Votes don't count. Reviews that say, "I like this, it's great!" don't count. All of these things are nice and will definitely give the writer the warm fuzzies (which is a very nice thing to do!), but it won't help them write better stories.
Here are some examples of what is helpful to a writer who is actively trying to improve:
"Chapter X made me feel ______. I liked it/didn't like it."
"I really liked the way you described _______. It was really beautiful, and did a great job evoking the atmosphere of the scene!"
"Man, that foreshadowing in Chapter 1 was really cool."
"I generally liked it, but this word wasn't used correctly. A better word might be ______."
"The way you wrote Character X's dialogue was really true to the source material. You captured his voice wonderfully."
"I was really interested in _____, but you never followed up on that. I was a little disappointed, because it was a neat idea and I was really looking forward to seeing where you went with that!"
"This line was hilarious/sexy/heart-breaking: _______. Good job!"
2) Support fan fiction authors whose work you enjoy.
Follow their work and read/review when they post something new. Let them know you like their work and want to see more of it. Subscribe to their stories if that's an option. Pay attention to whether they have published original fiction, and if they have... buy it, if you can scrape together the money! And then, tell your friends about their work.
In the end, the only truly reliable way to ensure that good artists continue to create their art is to support their career.

The difference is largely in the visual depictions found on that site. I'm going to quote from the response we give to complaints about stories with under-18 fictional characters:
We follow a policy of no censorship, as long as the content is legal. While we can't allow stories involving real persons under the age of 18, fictional characters are permissible as long as the story is properly tagged so those readers who prefer not to see such content can click on past it.
And given the volume of Harry Potter fictions involving a large cast of generally underage characters involved with each other, with professors, with parents, with siblings, and with creatures, I'd say that it's not so much the content as it is the context.

I may post a semi-raw chapter to give readers something to look at if I have not been posting much because of the real world situations that happen, but I replace such chapters as soon as is humanly possible with grammatically repaired versions. I tend to use human speak in dialog because people don't use proper grammar when they talk to each other as a rule. However, I am very strict with my own writing when it comes to all other elements.
To my thinking, grammar checking programs are the most important tool any writer can purchase. I have never had interest in cell phones or text message programs of that classification. On facebook, I am constantly lost when I run into text speak outside of the terms LOL, ROFL, WEG, and LMAO. I avoid text speak because I have never understood what was attractive about it. Laughter is one of my favorite things, so I do tend to abuse the above terms. Also, I loved the Weird Al song. Word Crimes made me laugh a lot so thanks for sharing that one @GeorgeGlass.
I have seen a number of text speak stories on various sites across the web. Because I do not know the lingo, I must back pedal to find a different story. In some respects, the lost art of grammar is a sad statement about how our society has become fixated on doing everything faster, and more efficiently to the point it no longer has any meaning at all. We are losing too much of what once made civilization great. Fast and gratuitous actions only seems to increase the pressure of consume more ideals that are sold constantly on the radio, and on televisions around the globe. Civilization is losing a lot of what made it special because of the lost art of grammar usage I believe.

I've also found over the years that F&SF women writers incorporate horror into their works as well.