Melrick

Look, I think we can all agree that Zyx is completely and utterly wrong, so let's either end this argument or take it out of this particular thread and start a new one in the appropriate place. This thread wasn't started to argue about what type of sex is right or wrong; it was meant to be about vocabulary boo-boo's.

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Hooray for anal sex! Anyway, back to the point of this forum... one thing that annoys me is when people write "off of". For example: "The guy got off of the chair and answered the door." The "of" is not needed! I admit that this is something I used to do in my early days of writing, but I soon learnt the error of my ways.

PM sent.

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I do have to rather disagree with you regarding a good looking man's effects on other men. Most guys that come into contact with an unknown but good looking guy is more often than not likely to initially respond with some level of caution, wondering if he's just a pretty boy, or a jerk. If the good looking guy then proves to be charming, that's different, most guys would react warmly to him then. But looks alone will NOT be enough to make most men simply give in. It truly does take more than that, believe me. Good looking men and women are more likely to get their way not just because of their looks, but because of their looks AND charm, even if that charm only lasts long enough for them to get what they want. It won't make a blind bit of difference how good looking a person is if they're also complete arseholes. B) But you're right, most people have contradictions to some degree - I know I do - and these characters might work just fine with a well written story around them. If the contradictions are too stark, though, then the story - and your writing - really will have to be extremely well written for it to not put people off. You probably should just get stuck into it and write your story and see how it all turns out. If it doesn't turn out quite the way you wanted then you can go over it again and do some serious editing to get it the way you want.

I expect to get a mention in the book then, if not a cut of the profits. B) lol

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You mentioned having another person to talk about the story with, and I think that's probably the best thing to do, apart from just leaving it for a while and coming back to it. It would have to be someone whose opinion you can trust. Everyone has opinions, but not everyone is correct, so you'd have to be fairly confident that their views and opinions are similar to yours, otherwise they could try to steer you in a direction you really don't want to go with the story. I don't really have anyone like that, hence the frustration and deletions.

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Well what I do is get all pissed off, leave the story, sulk and never returned to the story again, or possibly delete it. Is that helpful to you? I suspect probably not. B)

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Analysing characters from these short profiles really is fraught with difficulty, since you don't have the story around the characters, and that really makes a big difference. It can be very easy to get the wrong idea about the characters from these. What looks crap in a profile like this might work great in the story; alternatively, what looks great here could be rubbish in the story. It all comes down to how the author is able to tell the story and flesh out the character. And I'm also a believer of the story dictating the character to a large degree, rather than the other way around. That being said, the one problem I have with Samantha is her description: "She is startlingly attractive, yet not overly beautiful". That to me is a real contradiction. If she's startling attractive then she IS overly beautiful. Attractive and beautiful are essentially different ways to describe the same thing. If you're dead set on keeping that description then you'll really need to be extremely good with your explanation in the story for it to make sense. With Cameron... he's described as "overbearing and pushy" as well as "easy-going". To me, they clash somewhat. If he initially comes across as easy-going but then his overbearing personality makes itself known, then fair enough. But it sounds like he's still coming across as easy-going after the other characters have gotten to know him, yet also overbearing and pushy. So again, you'd really need to explain that extremely well in the story for it to work. Also, this: "While most people give in easily to his good looks and smooth speech..." I assume you primarily mean women? Because his good looks wouldn't make most straight men give in. You mention later that men initially hate his good looks, so I'm assuming that does refer to women. If you wanted men to give in then you'd need more than smooth speech; you'd need him to be charming on some level, otherwise his overbearing and pushy nature would quickly push guys away. As I said, it really depends on how you write these characters with a fully fleshed-out story around them. Good luck with it.