[Committing Murder... Of Your Characters]

1 minute ago, Desiderius Price said:

Jeff has to live for a while, so that’s not anytime soon, however, I can certainly torture him and make him wear clothes

Future is a fairly vague term after all. Besides, torture is bleak. Even if it’s just scratchy wool on your skin. 

[Committing Murder... Of Your Characters]

6 hours ago, InvidiaRed said:

I’d go with with either sudden fatal aging, collapse into dust route. Or a slow decline as friends and family notice. Or A kiss of death. Or sucking the soul out of them.

I personally like the soul sucking bit. I’ve been trying to work in succubus feeding habits in an interesting way in my current story. I think it’s interesting anyway.

4 hours ago, Desiderius Price said:

That gives me an idea….

May we all pray for Jeff. His future may very well be bleak.

[Putting original songs in a fic]

If it works, it works. While I’ve stated that my experiences with it haven’t worked, that’s because they’ve never been tied to the plot very tight. If it is, as you @GeorgeGlass are indicating, it may well work. But as with all things, mileage may vary. And something like including song lyrics can be rather polarizing.

[Putting original songs in a fic]

1 hour ago, BronxWench said:

I’ve also seen it done, and like @Sinfulwolf I found it more distracting than useful... outside of Tolkien. I confess to a blind adoration of all things elvish.

Well we all have our little weaknesses. I love elves (thanks Warhammer for that...), and kind of wish I knew it.

[Putting original songs in a fic]

I’ve seen it done before. Tolkien did it, and so did Brian Jacques in his Redwall series. I mean, it does let you get a bit more creative and potentially show a bit more of the world. In my personal opinion I always felt it slowed down the story too much. I got pulled out too much to try and figure out what the melody was, and to basically hear a story in the story I was reading. And being a good writer of narrative doesn’t make one a good song writer.

[Committing Murder... Of Your Characters]

12 hours ago, Arian-Sinclair said:

Where a daemon sucks someone off just before that poor sap(the someone) gets hit by a bus. 

Heh, I was going for the old fashioned pulling out the soul thing through sex. But that works too I suppose.

[Committing Murder... Of Your Characters]

Succubus end?

[Committing Murder... Of Your Characters]

It was a nun? Oh dear oh heavens me! 

[Committing Murder... Of Your Characters]

9 minutes ago, Desiderius Price said:

Yep, I’ve plenty of stories about instant BBQd squirrel bits.  So high voltage can most definitely do interesting things.   In my story case, I simply needed a murder, and the killer knew what he was doing, so it was relatively clean, so to speak.

That’s fair. It's all what works in the context needed.

[Committing Murder... Of Your Characters]

2 minutes ago, Desiderius Price said:

In the case of the electrocution, it was premeditated while also trying to have it be masked as “natural”, so big wounds would be a give-away that it wasn’t natural.

Not necessarily. An accident in a substation, or from a transformer (the electrical devices, not the robots in disguise), can cause from very very serious wounds. However, I don’t know all the specific details of your particular case. I just wanted to state that electricity, even by accident, or perhaps especially when it’s an accident due to the massive amounts of power that’s in certain devices, can make messes.

[Committing Murder... Of Your Characters]

52 minutes ago, Desiderius Price said:

The grisliest in my stories has to be the woodchipper.  (If you google right, you can get the coroner’s report to a real one.)  Though I’ve used trains, chainsaws, and, of course, bullets.  Electrocutions, unfortunately, leave no mess (which was good at the time, I didn’t want to get blood into the furniture beneath the victim, gotta save that!)

They can, from what I’ve learned from my father who works as an underground electrician. Not only can burns be nasty, but he’s had groundhogs get decapitated when they get into substations. Electricity moving through the body can cause both entry and exit wounds, and those wounds can go quite deep. While not always visible on the surface, it certainly can be.

[Writing An Antagonist: Thoughts, Ideas, Processes...]

Wouldn’t someone who feels they are doing the right thing, and agree with what is happening even is it gets a bit “messy” actually be the people who believe the ends justify the means? Someone who’s more along the psychopath route, it almost feels like the means are the goal, and less about an end state.

[Committing Murder... Of Your Characters]

I write soldiers a fair bit, so guns are around often enough.

[Writing An Antagonist: Thoughts, Ideas, Processes...]

Just to throw in some thoughts. A human antagonist will almost always believe they are doing the right thing. However, they don’t need to be sympathetic for it. There are many examples in history of people that were downright vile doing what they thought was a good thing. Beliefs of superiority due to race, gender, sexuality, religion, etc. have led to many atrocities that were supposed to be for the right reason. While some of these people are universally hated, some are heroes or villains depending on who you ask. Winston Churchill for example. Often seen as a hero by the media, but I’m sure the Irish and Indians have much different views on him. Or Sir John A. MacDonald. One of the leading figures in the formation of Canada as a nation and the first Prime Minister. However an alcoholic and involved pretty firmly in the Residential Schools.

If not human though, minds work in different ways. A few examples have been brought up such as Jaws, or the Raptors in Jurassic Park. These though are primal creatures acting on instinct. Slasher villains such as Jason Vorhees or Michael Myers are often supposed to be embodiment of evil but they are really mostly instinctual and primal. Characters like Pinhead from Hellraiser though have objectives and goals though they are clearly not of the moral variety.

My current story my villain is a demon. He has plots and schemes that involve the destruction of many lives in one way or another, and he’s not sympathetic to the pain he causes as that stands in his way. However, he just just go off destroying things for the shits and giggles of it. It’s less evil, and more amoral from common society’s standpoint. 

[Committing Murder... Of Your Characters]

8 hours ago, CloverReef said:

I love horror fantasy fusions. But yeah, I absolutely believe you can be super attached to your characters and empathize with them yet still be more than happy to slaughter the fuck out of them. Doesn’t mean you’re less attached than someone who wouldn’t hurt their characters, I think it just means that you made a difficult decision, or like the more emotionally driven writers like me, let the story sweep you away and did what it demanded. 

Well I just hope I succeeded in an erotic horror/fantasy fusion. ]

As @Desiderius Price has, death is part of life in my stories. I tend to go less simple. Even a gunshot makes a hell of a mess. I personally feel its what makes my stories mine.

I’m curious though if others find that a messy death can make a character’s death less emotionally impactful. I don’t think so myself, but there’s always various opinions out there.

[Committing Murder... Of Your Characters]

I often get attached to my characters, and while sometimes might have trouble letting go I still can because it can make the story better. Granted my current story is an Urban Fantasy with stripes of horror, so there’s a decent amount of gruesome death. And I often have it on page to be read. 

[Blood and Lace]

I’ve been working on this story for awhile, and it’s taken a much different shape than I originally envisioned. Originally just an exploration of different kinks through the lens of succubi (I use the spelling ‘Succubae’ in this particular story), by the second chapter it was twisting towards a dark fantasy tale in a modern setting. I enjoy writing it, my wife enjoys editing, and I hope any with interest enjoy reading. 

Author: Sinfulwolf
Title: Blood and Lace
Summary: Four soldiers no longer human, return from a combat tour in the depths of Hell. Turned into Succubae, they must deal with the new urges swirling through them, and the new hungers that fill their souls. But the threat of a new war looms over the Earth, and they may all be pulled back into conflict once more.
Feedback: Always welcome. Constructive criticism and discussion helps to improve.
Fandom: Original Fantasy
Pairing: N/A  
Warnings: 3Plus Anal Angst BDSM Beast Bi BMod Bond BP CR Cuck Cuckquean Dom DP Ds Exhib Fet F/F Fingering HJ Hum Inc MC M/F MiCD M/M Nec OC Oral Peg Rape Rim SandM Slave Solo Spank Tent TF Tort Toys Violence Voy WIP
Solo story or chaptered story:  Chaptered
URL: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109054

Do enjoy.

[A Question of Other Languages In Your Story]

2 hours ago, CloverReef said:

As long as it's clear the story is in English, so readers don't get scared off, I think chapter titles are the one place you can go absolutely crazy without detracting from the story. Esperanto, klingon, complete gibberish. Might make the writer pause and wtf about it but it won't rip them out of scenes or mess with the pacing. Might even pique curiosity and make some party more attention for hidden meanings. 

Oh, the story itself is in English, as is the story’s title itself, and the summary. It’s only the chapter titles. 

[A Question of Other Languages In Your Story]

5 hours ago, BronxWench said:

I have no problem with titles in Latin, actually. I sort of like it, to be honest, and might have to brush up on my Latin.

I’m glad the idea isn’t entirely out to lunch then.

1 hour ago, Desiderius Price said:

I might suggest an (*) somewhere and state what the English equivalent is, or “Latin (English)”, especially where it’s not guessable.

I’ve pondered that before, but it’s a good suggestion. I suppose I just need to think of how exactly I want to present it so it looks good.

[A Question of Other Languages In Your Story]

A question that offers a slight variation of the topic. What of different language in chapter titles? 

While I personally try to stay with English in the actual content of the story, I’ve been using Latin in the chapter titles of my latest tale. Mostly because I think it fits the Hellish themes somewhat. But I’m curious to think what folks might think of that.

[Avatar IMG link not working on Archive]

I’ve been having much the same issue. I’ve tried Photobucket, Imgur, and even this forum. The image is 250x250, and I’ve also tried removing the “http://” at the front, but to no avail.

For some reason the image it attempts to display in my bio never matches the URL I put in the change avatar field.