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Status Updates posted by Tcr
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... How to tell when you'retoo tired to actually post a new chapter on here? When you add the chapter to a oneshot and don't even realize it until you're actually awake again... You win this round, exhaustion, you win this round…
On a positive note, it's all corrected... I hope...
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Any freshly laid concrete?
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No, but I did put a garden in during the summer...
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Well, gardens do much better with fertilizers.
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For the first time in ten years... this depression has gotten below the worst of anyone seeing it... It's been a long time since I've lost interest in writing... Or anything…
That's a scary thought...
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Shit, I know how that sucks. All I can say is I hope it gets better.
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I know what that feels like. If you need to talk, I’m more than happy to listen, and if not, I hope you feel better.
Joining the Hugs Brigade too.
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- JayDee, Tcr and BronxWench
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Thanks again. @JayDee... Last time had some antidepressants involved... But... Hopefully it goes in a bit.
@InBrightestDay... Thanks. It's appreciated to have the option. And thanks (to all).
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Okay, so personal rant coming up…
I was reading A few posts off site that a couple friends had shared and I felt absolutely disturbed by them. It might be a few years back and all, but...
To have published authors who readily compare fanfic to home invasion (because (imo) free publicity is certainly the same as having someone break in and take everything), immoral (... not touching that idea...) making them want to 'barf' (excellent wording, btw), and referring to it as adultery...
Are you serious? I understand the idea of not liking it (I don't agree, but that's a personal thought process and one I can't force on others)... But really?
Sorry, just a little growly over this...
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I think more authors are becoming open to fan fiction. However, there is still a huge stigma dating back to the Marion Zimmer Bradley legal issue (which remains unclear to this day, IMO). Many authors won’t read any fan fiction of their work because they are afraid if anything they write resembles that fan fiction, they will be sued. It’s tainted the relationship between fan fiction writers and authors for some time.
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- CloverReef, Avaloyuru and Tcr
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Now, this is a humble opinion of a delusional madman here... But if I was published and I saw some fanfic of it on here (he'll, if someone contacted me and was like "I want to write in the universe of Blood Prize" I'd be feeling pretty complimented and flattered by it. Admittedly, I'm kind of weird that way, so…
But I do understand the approach and thoughts behind it of staying away, too. Nowadays, it seems like people will sue over every little thing (Not to say it does happen, but with news and stuff, it has that stigma)... And no author (I hope) wants to be accused of plagiarizing, even without that knowledge. It does wonders for a career if that happens, I hear.
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I used to looove Marion Zimmer Bradley. Now I gotta google it.
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- BronxWench and Tcr
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So, I think I'm absolutely insane (anyone know a five star hotel with a nice white padded room, those good suits that hug you, and dining arrangements?)... One series I'm prepping to send for a publisher, two Halloween oneshots, four works on the go and posted here... And another one I just started…
Yep, I'm nucking futs!
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... I must be the only one lost with that... But... Lol. Well, I have six waiting for prepping... So... Do I win a prize? Yeah, little strange here...
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I think being “strange” was one of the AFF signup requirements.
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- BronxWench and CloverReef
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I'm pretty sure I checked insane on my registration... Off kilter... Bizarrely creative... Must have missed strange.
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So… Warning rant ahead…
Perhaps I am quite close to the written material I have up. Perhaps I’m just stubborn… Pigheaded… Wouldn’t be the worst thing I’ve been called… And I’m willing to take some fair concrit when it comes to the stories, even the ones I am most proud of… The latest review that I received for Blood and Honour was neither concrit nor supportive, in my belief.
I read the entire chapter before I review, before I form an opinion. Being told, off the bat, that you did not read the entire chapter, thus forming your opinion from half...a quarter, I feel renders anything said not necessarily invalid, but also pointless in ‘constructive’ criticism – and I use ‘constructive loosely here (especially when a comment made is that ‘it would be more ‘readable”). I’m not sure how four people can be confusing, nor can I understand how, and I will be exact here, one can be confused with four given names, three nicknames associated with those given names (Ie. Max – Maximilian, Fritz – Friedrich, Matti – Matilde), and two surnames. As for feelings and emotional responses; I’m sorry that it doesn’t beat you over the bloody head with each and every sentence referring to how ‘utterly awesome’ the other one is while otherwise leaving a vacant slot where the MC is. This one is not supposed to start happy, is not supposed to be cheerful and happy, this is supposed to be a dark start, a bleak future cast.
Perhaps because of my closeness and pride for Blood and Honour, maybe it’s not as bad as I think, but to me, this review was not constructive, this felt like full on criticism and, at some points, quite mean spirited.
End of rant.
Sorry… Just need to bitch and complain, but didn’t want to clutter the forums with things.
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And on the subject of bad reviews, at least it wasn’t personal. Wait until someone reads a story and then reviews or emails to says something like: “I read your story. Are you okay?” or otherwise speculates on the kind of life you’ve had.
Sometimes, I think they even mean it, which is kind of hilarious.
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- BronxWench and CloverReef
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DP: Thanks. I did look over them, but yeah… When I’m feeling a little less… beaten down, I’d love to discuss them and hear them.
Pippy: I wouldn’t worry about the concrit you gave. I didn’t think it was that much and many of your points were valid (especially the double paragraph (you can’t hear it, but there’s still some head thudding against wall sounds going on here)). (And, no, I see no pretentiousness or intellectual snobbery in your response.)
And, uh… ‘What about parfaits? Everyone like parfaits?’ Okay, okay, I can take a hint over all the boos, I’ll be quiet now.
The concrit you and BW have given (as well as CR in the beta sessions) are welcome, just as anyone’s, and I hope it never came across as being the opposite. As I stated in the forum post, reviews and concrit help you grow as a writer. This one just felt… Unnecessarily harsh… And I needed to growl and moan about it…
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My prescription to help improve your mood.
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Well, after nearly seven years at the same job, that chapter is done. And an old chapter becomes edited. Back to university I go in a few months.
Unfortunately, I may not have as much time to write between packing, moving and getting settled (again), so the updates may be... A lot less in the coming months. Apologies, and assurances, I have not abandoned them.
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It sounds like this is a move for the better, so congratulations! Nothing is worse than working at a job you don’t like.
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- DemonGoddess and Tcr
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Yeah, go to school until you get really tired of it (that’s what I did). Congrats on making the change in your life, hope it works out better for you (in the long run).
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- Tcr, BronxWench and DemonGoddess
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I hope this all works out well for you!
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- Tcr and BronxWench
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Well… Bit of a milestone… At least for me… The unbetaed (...raw? Essential TCR? Hmmm...) experiment/challenge to see how far I’ve come along in the years CR’s been betaing has reached eight chapters, which is now tied with Blood and Honour for most up here… To believe that Come Hell or High Water was just something for the writer’s block to break apart…
It’s kind of hard to imagine that just under a year ago, I never would have thought to show any of my work to anyone but CR and now, I have two that are up for a decent chapter length (with, in BaH’s case, many more chapters in the wings, waiting for examination…) Come Hell or High Water is also, strangely enough, tied with BaH for the amount of reviews (albeit in a shorter time frame… Not sure if I’ve entered the Twilight Zone there, maybe...)
I’m glad for all the support and my fans :). Maybe one day soon I can get on to the more vital prospect (and infinitely more terrifying thought) of finding someone to publish… Until then, I’ll let that thought sink in… While I roll back and forth in the corner… In a fetal position…
Until such a time…
For those who have, will, and continue to read, not mention the reviews…
THANK YOU.
TCR
(If this seems a little rambling… Yeah, probably… No sleep make… TCR… Something… Something...)
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Well... That poor guardian angel just retired... That's a good seven I've gone through…
Hit an ice patch, slid into the concrete barrier... Managed to steer away from a full head on, but sheared off a third of the bumper and the front passenger quarter panel...
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I’m beginning to think you and winter just don’t get along. Jesus Christ, stop almost dying dude.
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- InvidiaRed, BronxWench and Tcr
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@JayDee: Yeah. Didn't like the slow motion as the nose went for the concrete... Worst part: snow pile to the left, to the right... but I managed to get the one section with clear concrete…
@CloverReef: Probably should... I'm running out of angels... I'm pretty sure they're just drafting them now... Maybe I should stop wintering... I hear California is nice this time of year... lol.
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- BronxWench and JayDee
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There’s definitely support group up there. I owe them some serious drinks.
I mean three years ago just bought a car didn’t even make it home cause a roadside assistance truck California stopped a stop sign and smashed the driver's side totaling it(In hindsight, I should have sued. But hindsight has always been 20/20)
I know mine was wearing black and yellow pajamas cause I was the only one who saw her. Or maybe it was the trauma from kissing the steering wheel. One of the two. Haha.
The Midwest quite beautiful this time of year. Snowbird syndrome is pretty common here. @Tcr rest assured your angels aren’t the only ones in need of therapy.
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@CloverReef Because I owe you and, despite saying it earlier, happy birthday, hope your day was great.
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@CloverReef The happiest of birthdays to you!
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@CloverReef Happy Birthday!
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Thanks guys! It was nice of Pride to throw the parade on my birthday so I spent the day in the big city! And I’m totally getting mcdonalds because junk food magically becomes healthy on birthdays. It’s a law of nature.
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- BronxWench and Tcr
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And now... for the next five weeks, tough days ahead... Lots of bad memories... Not sure how much writing is going to get done on any of them now :(.
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@Desiderius Price I found out on Thanksgiving Day 2012 that my dad had end-stage cancer. He and my stepmom flew up from Texas on December 5, 2012, and he died January 11, 2013.
I still catch myself thinking I should text my dad about something, or call him. But if he were here today, we’d be having a cup of coffee together, something we started doing when I was a toddler (mine back then was a few drops of coffee in warm milk, but it worked!) and did almost up until he died. Cocoa was only for when I went ice skating, and Dad would be watching from the rail at Wollman Rink.
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I hate working nights, never get to answer people right away... :(…
DP: Regarding morselized penis... Disturbing... Yet, once again shows how reality can be stranger than fiction... And I have a great number of strange things the cops would suspect me as a serial killer for...especially with my search history... And apparently being a writer only goes so far when researching Nazis... And rape... And getting away with murder...
BW, I'm sorry to hear that :(... It's good you have the great memories, though. Still, I understand... And sure, let's be tough together :). .
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Anyone else ever just feel like pulling everything they have posted or is it just me? I feel like it might just be me... Hmmm... Probably is...
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PippyChick: Yeah, I notice that myself and that's probably the reason now. Just posted something new and yeah... While I know comparing does nothing, I've found it happening with this one…
DP: I wish I could say it was a big check... I'd pull it there. Still thinking no publisher will take the one I'm prepping...
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- pippychick and BronxWench
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I did once pull everything I posted from AFF. Unfortunately one of the stories wasn’t backed up like I thought and I lost it. I can’t remember why, but I had ‘em back up before too long so it can’t have been too serious.
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- pippychick and BronxWench
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Ages ago, I talked one author out of a complete withdrawal, (due to serious medical issues), pointing out that their fics (non-AFF) were a nice legacy, something that his nephew (who started him writing HP fanfic) would eventually treasure. I know the lack of reviews/response can be frustrating, or the self-doubts gnaw, I struggle with those too, however, stories are tales, generally enrich us all, and can be a good legacy once we’re dust.
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- JayDee, CloverReef, pippychick and 1 other
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Does anyone else ever just read a book and start comparing characters? Or am I the only crazy one? Admittedly, the toaster does tell me the Oven hates me, so maybe...
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That's good, I thought the fridge might have been lying.
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Dunno, that just gave me the chills
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Yeah, it was a pretty cold reception I got.
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For an experiment into how far my self-editing has come, thirteen chapters posted is definitely something. (Would love to get back to BaH, but I’m on too much a roll with Come Hell or High Water, lol.) Here’s to thirteen more (and beyond).
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I have completed the NaNoWriMo challenge! 50k words written in The Target, which still isn’t completed! Hurrah! Woo!
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Excellently done!
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- Tcr and BronxWench
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Thanks all! It was an interesting experience
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I think the dark pit might be breaking to see some light. A tiny sliver, but that's enough, right? Pull myself back through, carry on. Despite what has happened in that time, I want to say thank you, to all you guys. I appreciate it. .
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It's getting there. And thanks, InBrightestDay. It's what I like about AFF, the community supports one another. . Been posting, so there's something good. .
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I hope ya keep improving.
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My apologies to those reading any of my stories. It's been a rather long and unplanned hiatus thanks mostly to schedule changes at work. (Sucks working nights and a sudden change...). Here's hoping Friday can see some posting again.
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So the dark beast has struck again... My archnemesis, Self Doubt, is back... . I wish he'd fuck off... Jump into a fiery, raging volcano... Or something... At least let me kick him in the nuts... Just once...
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I prefer the bigboy myself… (double shot….) And I’ve got an “adult” mod, so I’ve got a naked chick firing off mini nukes...unless I tweak the jetpack settings and then she’s flying across the commonwealth raining down terror.
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- Tcr and mastershakeme
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Lol. Definitely. I have to admit, I keep mine on the ground, with Curie trailing... Mmmm... Lol. I do have a tendency to make suicidal jumps off the Prydwen in power armour... Best rewind moments! Well, aside from blowing up Megaton in Fallout 3...
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With the tweaked settings, I can jump up to the Prydwen. The next time I go against kellog, I plan to fly up to it as it’s flying….I understand that’s less rewarding than one might think.
Fallout 3… I played both sides on more than one occasion. I’d try to “rescue” the settlers of Megaton up to Paradise falls before blowing it up. Named characters generally couldn’t, and Moria, I’d convince her it was her fault. Another high point is selling Brian Wilks to Paradise Falls “It’s a welcome necklace, it’ll show you the way.”.
Fallout NV, I played that a lot too, eventually settling on Yes Man as my preferred play through. There’s a mod, now called “Tale of Two Wastelands”, that merges Fallout 3 into a “DLC” for NV, so you can play both, travelling between the Capital and the Mojave via a train. (Though, that can generate plot issues when I put Brian Wilks into the personal safety shelter, and then travel to NV where the screen uses the “nine years later...” message.)
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So, did a bad thing... Still doing a bad thing... Posting in class... But, two chapters of Hunted up and hopefully get to reviewing the Halloween anthology this evening... NSFW, you say? I say, if no one knows, no one says anything... Lol.
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Whippings!!
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- InvidiaRed and CloverReef
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You have to recite the last page of the last book you read backwards to bleed off the bad luck.
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I like how @Sinfulwolf immediately goes to whips... lol.
Well, aside from DP, who I'll read when not at work (I think that might be pushing it... lol), reviewed. .
YAY!
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So, today marks another milestone... Through doubts and all, Blood and Honour has received 1000 dragon prints.
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It’s okay, BW. Everyone has their RLs :). And I’m sure you have a long list of ones you’re reading, writing and reviewing .
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Congrats. As those numbers tick higher and higher, you’ll feel better about it!
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- BronxWench and Tcr
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