Ghost-of-a-Chance

Would anyone be up for a second opinion on a single chapter of a work in progress? I don’t really need any editing. (…unless someone notices a missing word or comma both I AND my editing app missed.) I asked on Reddit and got a reply, but they ghosted me. Ghosting someone who goes by “Ghost” is a bit on the nose, but whatever. It was a dick move.

To put this as simply and briefly as possible, my brain got fried with the packing, moving, and all that entailed. I had no time to write. Now that I have time, my brain is struggling to switch back to non-crisis mode—the storms and renovations aren’t helping—and focus. It’s stuck in a hamster wheel of “so tired/gotta keep working/where’s the box tape/shit, is that bug something to worry about/fuck, my ass hurts, why do I hurt so much,” and so forth. My writing muscles are atrophied to noodles and I’m struggling to get sentences out. I’m not really happy with the second half of my most recent work, the flow, or the pacing. It’s been well over a year since I updated the story, and I won’t even get started on the delay my others are experiencing. If anyone can help, I’d appreciate it more than my fried brain can express.

This can be a one-off, and I’m happy to correspond by Google Docs. The chapter has some cursing and questionable humor but nothing really dirty; the bulk of it, sans headings and notations, is just over 3,100 words, and I’ve already done what I can for editing. You shouldn’t run into any mistakes. Also, if you’ve read any of my other writing, I’m not writing any accents or using non-English language aside from a couple of words in elvish. I’m trying to keep this story simple, easy, and posted in small bites unlike my usual approach to writing. Fandom is Dragon Age: Inquisition; I’ve got the other chapters posted in the archive if anyone is morbidly curious.