Ghost-of-a-Chance

Things dog people should know about cats:

• They don’t hate everything – some of them just have resting bitch behavior.
• They don’t want to kill you in your sleep – they want to cuddle...your face.
• Some are picky about food. Others? “Feed me right now oR i WiLl ScReAm!!!”
• The fat ones are the cuddliest. The skinny ones make good parrots.
• They’re not lazy – they conserve energy for their one-am zoomies. No, they don’t care if that doesn’t work with your schedule.
• Hairballs...that’s really just a euphamism for “fur-filled barf-cigar.”
• If you treat them right, and don’t treat them like dogs, chances are they’ll love you for life. If you treat them like dogs, they’ll become assholes.
• On the other hand, some really are just assholes from the start. It’s a toss-up.
• Toe-beans. ‘nuff said.

Brought to you by my two babies, Heiferlump Chance and Woozle Thomas...one of whom is screaming for food right now. Cats.