Darkalley_Muse

Well, with so much rambling going on I guess I should poke my head in too, heh. Not a lot to be said that hasn’t been more eloquently covereded, so I’ll just share a little personal axiom I try to remind myself of often when I write: this is art, an ultimately formless creation incapable of perfection thus forever containing the potential of being more perfect. Basically, my way of over-thinking advise I got back when I used to draw (terribly). You can tweak something all day, but part of the skill is learning when you must let your creation go and let it simply be. As for feedback … yeah, that is the bottomless hunger of the creative soul. I’m sure we all feel you there. -_-; I’ve been fairly lucky with feedback working on an original story, but there’s always that doubt, that uncertainty that the work was worthwhile. Honestly, I think that point of self doubt is part of the very basis of creativity. If any of us could throw together a few paragraphs and feel content, we wouldn’t build worlds and fictional lives that, if we can just get it to work blast it, communicate to a stranger something they can feel just as attached to as we do. So … keeping pounding your head into the wall, I guess. In my experience, there is usually candy on the other side. Addictive, self-replicating candy you can only hope to gobble up as much as you can as the new pages fly by, all before the mountain of sweets goes poof and another wall hiding even more candy waits. Annnd on a side note… … yeah, I did the spreadsheet shuffle too and it did help. I might not have known what readers were thinking chapter to chapter, but by golly some of them had to be returning again and again to keep thinking it. There is some real value in that. (Now I must wander off again to fret over getting a big head after only one story. )

And a review from Mona! Thanks again for reviewing my (not so) little work! Yeah, had a fun/gut-wrenching time writing this one. I hoped most people were gearing themselves for another Azuren-style, rapey chapter and hopefully this was a nice plot turn for folks. What can I say, I can’t have Azuren have it all easy. That would be boring. -snicker- That said, this one for obvious reasons is right behind ch17 in stuff I’ve written that always brings a tear to my eye.As the story has unfolded, I imagine folks have adjusted themselves to how each of the characters think a bit so now we get a peek from another perceptive more familiar with how they used to be. Nightmare, oh my is that a nightmare. As for Sherry’s badassery … oh my is she, but first she’s going to have to learn to control that runaway power of hers. Stay tuned for more details on that in the next chapter. Minor spoiler: there will be a bath. No real surprise, if you’ve picked up on Azuren’s … post-battle tendencies. -snicker-

A review from a new reviewer, JenJen! -does a little happy jig- Also kinda long (makes me happy, to be clear ^^), so I think I'll try something new and break it up a bit... ugh, to very, very true. Sadly, been learning about a few previously unknown forms of those horrible things of late. The things people do to each other in the name of being 'moral'.... -shudder- But anyway, yeah there are far more edgier things out there, but this one chapter... I guess hit closer to home for me than others thus my extra warning. -shrug- I kinda got a similar reaction from a friend about it, but I guess my own reaction was strong enough to it that I felt a bit cautious. Trust me, my own bias and experiences lead to that punishment as well. Wasn't originally going to be so ... bloody, but then I arrived at that point and Azuren kinda became the tool of my own rage. Not sure what it says about me as an writer, but there you have it. Then again, thinking about it more, we all view things through the lens of experience so really, we all gotta salt our intellectual food plenty anyway. >_> -blush- well, I don't know how well I've actually shined a light on anything, but I'll take the praise anyway. ^^; Honestly, I couldn't agree more on not running away from the evils of the world. To do so only makes you more susceptible to them. To my mind, stories inherently serve a purpose no matter their content. Stories entertain, educate, and so many more things. Stories like this, at least I hope, are kind of like a simulation on morality. You don't have to agree with the plot or the characters, but they give the reader an idea of how someone (or something) might think and act. It's up to the reader interpret and draw a benefit from that, based on their own experience and the world they survive in. Ok, might have rambled a bit there. Well, it's all just my opinion anyway and not saying I actually accomplish that. ugh, there is some UN reports floating up in my mind. Yup, no matter how much we dance our fingers across the keyboard, somebody is waltzing about in reality far more sinister than our figments darkest whims. The puzzle I find is which is worse, their actions or the mental gymnastics they explain them away with? I suppose it's those questions that lead me to write like I do. >_> holy hell, I didn't think I was unique by any means but I didn't know me and King had anything in common really. ...maybe I shouldn't have put off reading him quite so much. -pokes around his bookshelf- ohhh, that dark tower shortstory, I haven't reread this in ages -drool- But yeah, as I mentioned earlier, all stories serve a purpose. All naysayers are doing is saying they can't figure out a benefit to their mind. That is by no means an indication that there isn't one for others. Luckily, I don't get too many negative reviews (god bless you, AFF readers) so I just have to defend against the ones in my own head. Disclaimer: I really don't think I'm somehow imitating the quality of Stephen King. The reference just surprises me, pleasantly, is all. You know, nothing makes me happier than hearing a reader confirm that I did one of my jobs right, that I actually communicated what I wanted too. Yeah, I never intended this story to be mainstream (or originally to even have an audience), but then again I'm not really a mainstream kind of person. -snicker- I just wanted to tell a tale with some bad things happen cause of something that thinks somewhat alien to us. -looks up- Ok, might have rambled more than was necessary. Honestly, just super happy to get a review after so long. Also, about to go to bed and brain is rebelling anyway it can. ; So thank you JenJen, hope you continue to find my little tale interesting!

It's an interesting idea. Not that I've tried it, but maybe you could use block quotes (triple " instand of singles) to make it more noticeable. Another idea, not sure how noticeable it might be, would be to have an overall page indent on the right side of the page for 'in-scene' paragraphs, left left side indent for 'meta' paragraphs. Would depend on the editor your putting the story in though. As a friend looking over my shoulder pointed out, citations as done by Terry Prachett or Douglas Adams is also good for this, but sadly doesn't work well posting online I think. Line break - meta bit - line break might work as well, if the meta parts are not happening too often.

Huh, those are pretty nice. Going to give the Soft Murmur a try my next day off, maybe it'll get me out of my funk. 25% Fire/10% Singing Bowl definitely sounds like something that would draw out my muse XD

Wasn't entirely sure where to post this, but I figure the review thread will work. Sadly, I'm going on over a month without updating Sinful. It's not that I haven't taken the time for editing, but ... well, let's say writer's block has struck and apparently also has dominion over basic editing. Apparently. The last few chapters probably has signs of my problems starting (I originally wanted to redo the Mia/Aria thing cause ...well, it's terrible) but I tried to force it to keep to a release schedule. Yeah... didn't work. So, for why I'm making this post. Hopefully anyone waiting for the rest of Sinful also reads the forums so I have a question for those folks. Should I just release the rest of it now or wait till my concentration comes back? My muse will recover (it always does) but it might be another month or two before I can bring myself to edit again. I don't plan to have any major plot changes, but my spelling and grammar is ... pretty rough normally and I do try and refine the presentation of events somewhat so it's a little less confusing. So yeah ... would you folks prefer more rough-Sinful now or waiting for a more edited Sinful later?

Another review from CL! Hrm, might be better said that some are worth saving more than others. Or that some folks end up twisted and broken to the point of being irredeemable. In the end, chapter 6 was written mostly aiming to be horror at having a kid as young as Sue dealing with that level of human villainy ... and then responding in a terrible mix of 8 year old/absolute moralist response. That kind of decision making is one of Sue's regular backdrops later on. The ethics involved are loopy, but then again this is a loopy story ... in a not good way, generally. >_> As for Sharon, Admittedly, I'm getting a little concerned how confusing the story has been for you, but I'm thrilled you gave my humble story a shot. Sadly, I think the sex and plot start getting a little... tangled up moving on. So read on or not, as you decided and thanks for reading regardless!

A review from CL! (Oh god, she keeps dodging those minor1 bits... I'm so sorry for the minefield!) Awww, I was hoping the brief little peek into Azuren's history might get a bit of reaction. I don't get to do those too often. Well, I get more chances in Part 2 so maybe I can redeem myself. But yeah, once it gets to the first POV change, it's mostly all sex... and the first time Azuren loses a game of 'who is more stubborn'. -snicker- Fair warning for the next one: there will be murder. Oh, so much murder. (Just be careful towards the end. It ... gets a little extra dark.)

Ohhh, torture off? Is it limited to the realms of slash or can I join? -puppy eyes- I think I can scare up some competition for Kamal.

A review from Mona! (I swear, I think I'm going to have to write a special Sue chapter or something for dear Mona at this rate. Maybe something to hold folks over between parts. -snicker-) Let's see, sleeping with a smoking hot demon with an insatiable sex drive? Who also gave me the power to keep up with said drive and made it so I didn't have to work so I could write all the time during those rare moments I'm allowed both air and full use of my hands? Oh yes, sign me up too. Dealing with a crazed, feral doppleganger personality might actually be worth it, lol. Course, pacts with demons always cost more than meets the eye, so.... The fact my humor made it in is a surprise, mostly, but the fact it's fucked up is not. This story is just madness front to back. Like I said at the beginning, it's horror even when it doesn't read like it. Oh, Sherry. Yup, that little plot thread is closing in but it'll have a bit more build up than the others so far. What can I say, her sisters tend to drive Azuren to distraction. And let's not forget Sharon (I beat everyone thought I had at this point. -grins evily-) As for his plan, well ... . Interesting factoid maybe, we're now at the beginning of what I've ponderously labeled the longest day in this story. You'll see why. :/ I will say I am curious how the Azuren part will go with readers since I tried something a bit weird this time around. For the confused, he finally started picking up something odd going on on his end of all this and well ... thought to fight it. Sadly for our demon lord, his kind have zero impulse control most of the time. I might not have chosen the best way to represent it, but he is fond of his nicknames for his treats so him trying to put those aside seemed logical at the time. -frets over his strange character and his confusing pronouns-

Well, two reviews in two days. In all honestly, I almost had a heart-attack. Would have been a happy one at least. (I kid, heart-attacks are evil, evil things bereft of joy.) First, from Mona! I'm glad my little twisted tale continues to entertain (and find favor even!), hope I can keep it up now that we're getting close to the half-way point. I will say, while I was hoping to stagger haphazardly into hot (it's erotica, even a newbie like me knows the main goal of it -snicker-), funny is a surprise. I mean, I find parts hilarious, but then I got their voices in my head. I didn't think much of that got translated into text. Happy some did. As for Sue... well, I don't want to spoil. (But ass-whooping, oh yes it's coming.) And another from CL! Well, don't' soldier too far. I'll warn that those Minor1 sex parts start about halfway in 5 and the last few paragraphs of 6, but 6 is terrible for completely different reasons. I am glad the story had enough hook to draw you a bit into those murky depths though, if just cause it makes it look like I knew what I was doing. (I really didn't ha!) I don't want to go into what Sue actually is entirely, since I haven't even written the true, detailed reveal yet, but as for why the mating still has to happen ... well, Azuren is an obstinate ass. It's kind of a demon trait in general, but just imagine a five-year-old kids justification about why they didn't lose a make-believe. Then put it in the body of a fell god. Bam, Azuren. Honestly, there is a bit more too it, but that's usually a good guidepost for understanding what that demon is up too. He is very, very petty. Anywho, thank you both for reading. As well as everyone else who reads Sinful, I'm honestly surprised everyday you folks don't run me out of here with pitchforks. A truly happy surprise. -retreats to his mob-proof hedgebush to fret over his next abuse-of-humanity/chapter)

Another review from The_CL! Yeeah, I'm afraid there are a few chapters that are mostly sex. This did start as an experiment to see if I could even write erotica after all. :/ I've actually wondered if people would be interested in me writing, say, a brief recap of what important story elements pop up while the characters where busy going at it and format the sex scenes so they are easier to skip. Not sure how much actual interesting plot that really leaves though, so it remains an idea I'm just fiddling with. Maybe if I make an official pdf or edoc out of it later. -peeks at his document and frets with the pages- But yes, Sharon by the end of chapter 2 is a demon. For a given value of a demon, anyway. At the beginning of the story, the antagonist isn't really interested yet in making actual full-fledged demons but ones that can serve as a method to complete his "plan". That's why Sharon start out more human with an increasing dollop of madness to her. I will say the Merrals are getting a much more focused effort from him than others and part of why Sharon remains so steadfastly human is her own core nature. She's flawed (oh my, is she flawed), but not in such a way that leads her to be actually demon-like. But anyway, thanks for reviewing again!

I need a Like button so bad, Crissy beat me to my whole planned ravings and did it alot nicer than I would have. All I can add is that we spend all day in our shoes, is it any wonder we sneak out in our writing to wonder around in someone else's from time to time? So no, don't feel bad doing it. I'd like to do a good job of it if I can, but I'm not going to make my inner world or my efforts less interesting because there is no way I can know the plights of someone who has a lifetime of burdens unfamiliar to me. I'll just do what I can and when I'm wrong, be mindful of the corrections lobbed my way.

Hrm, I think everyone has covered nicely the red flags we're seeing, so I'll just toss out a suggestion. Your aiming your profit generation the wrong direction. Honestly, we all like reviews. Hell, I wouldn't mind bad reviews (I still thank you restraint, oh mighty AFF readers!), but no review is truly valid, in my mind, if there is some backroom deals being made and no review service is worth it if it fails to be entertaining these days. So review anyway. Do maybe 2-5 minute reviews on youtube, point out some stories you love or think have promise, and use ad revenue. Or you could work up a following in the hope to get a sponsor. Build up a service your providing that way, that can be tailored to provide a service and useful tool to like-minded readers, with bells and whistles they can appreciate and pay for if they like it enough. Just my two cents. Worn, moldy two cents.

A review from CL Mustafic, thanks for reading ... and putting up with my rambling in the SB. -snicker- Thanks for giving it a read. Afraid he doesn't really start revealing some of his true colors till the Minor2 parts, but you definitely start getting a taste in Ch2. As for the Merrals being an ordinary family, your right and it's a tragedy for them to be subjected to him. Mostly. ... man, people keep saying the first two are well written. I'm starting to wonder if I was crazy wanting to torch them and starting over from scratch. Excuse me, I need to reassess if I can recognize good fiction or not. -frets within a Pratchett novel-

Next time I get to feel a little lonely in my wee apartment, I'm going to come back and reread this. If this is the other side of the coin I wouldnt survive it. Well, somebody wouldnt anyway. Everybody needs some proper respect and at least some breathing space, for christs sake.

Another from Mona. Thank you humbly for your continued reading of my story -humbly bows- And once again, my blush is threatening to blow my face off my skull. I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever get used to these strange things called positive reviews, but nevertheless you humble and flatter this hack. I normally ramble abit about characters pointed out, but this time I think I'll make use of an industrial zipper and keep my mouth shut. Well, other than to say: Hold on. Sweet effin jesus, hold on to that precious feeling. This road, it gets bumpy. -points to all my horror comments- ... Screw it, I love to ramble! Yeah, Sue is a hard character to write for alot of reasons. Some obvious, some yet to be revealed, alot with her general 'theme'. Alot of her early development really was me shying (ok, flat out sprinting) away from using a Minor2 character in erotica ... but in my mad dash I picked up a few ideas that makes her my favorite of the challenging characters to write. I'll say out of all the bits that still pull at my heart strings even after the twentieth reading (the story is eating my brain!), Sue has one that is always on top. This is a horror story and so many times I've wanted to apologize to the little figment of Sue in my head for that. If you don't mind a bit of spoilers (it really isn't, more like behind the scenes I guess), I like to try and match songs to the story as I write. I recently found one that I've basically dubbed Sue's Theme. It won't be obvious right of the bat why, cause well I'm still posting part 1 and part 2 is a ways away, but I think it really fits Sue's journey. Anywho, when things go dark it might help. The song is Control by Halsey. And as for Azuren's feelings for Sue, I love it when things I fret about in the story come out clear as day in a review. Yeah, he doesn't do 'nice', but something is shifting in that terrible mind of his. The problem, of course, is Azuren is a demon. His nature is to lash and consume anything vaguely appearing like a threat ...but then, I think you've picked up nicely that little as Sue is, she isn't a pushover either. Oh, Sharon. That I will keep my lips sealed over her reaction. Oh my, her reaction indeed. ... And no worries, I'll keep posting. It's the only way I've found to call parts of this story done and mean it. I posted that author's note only because my readerbase (ha! hahaha) is a mystery to me, but if there was one I wanted to make up being late on my own schedule. And thank you for letting me know I do have one regular reader, one is all I need to keep going. Now for the fretting dance! -fret fret fret, hey!-

pippychick reviews, thanks for reading! And my furious blushing from the SB continues! So far, I think I can say no matter how bad the rest goes, I can reasonably say I hit the mark on the beginning it seems. At least for some anyway. No one is more surprised than me. With some luck, I should squash the last of the pesky typos (or at least the last I'm going to hunt) when I update next. Just pondering some word usage for Sharon chapters. I'm actually really proud of that dream sequence. It was originally a string of short, boring looking dialogue lines in the first draft. Got to it in the second and decided to risk adding some flair. Really like it, myself, and glad others do too! Question is now, how many readers can guess what's going on in the background that I didn't outright say? -finds a corner and frets- But yeah, for Sharon particularly, I was really aiming to communicate that sense of 'the world is steadily becoming more wrong... oh wait, it's me going wrong'. It's primarily why I think of the story more of a horror than an erotica story. No matter how steamy a scene might get, I always fret that my little nudges that 'things of going terribly wrong here' might not read for the viewer. As much as I love the demon myself and trying to put myself in his strange head-space, my warning to anyone reading at the start is: Wait for it. He definitely evolved as I wrote him. I keep going back and try and dress him in his newer personality and mannerisms, but the beginning is still the part where I was trying to get a hold of all the character's personalities. Your definitely welcome! I glad I didn't nearly pass out before pressing the submit button lol I may or may not of smashed three or four smaller chapters from the first draft to make the second chapter. So long as it's enjoyable though, I hope most can forgive the welding seams. Ah, the mirror scene. Definitely me poking the viewer like Navi from Legend of Zelda and screaming, "Hey! HEY! Something a bit worrying is happening here." Course, depending on tastes, the viewer might be a bit too ... distracted to notice. Yeah, if Minor1 makes you squeamish, this would be a good time to bail. Three isn't too bad on that front, but it's definitely the beginning of the slow march of bringing myself to actually writing a Minor1 scene. Cause that's the purpose of this book, self-inflicted torture in the name of improving my skill. ... I almost wished it hadn't worked. I've definitely enjoyed you reading and reviewing! And talking to you as you read it in the SB was most assuredly an experience. -goes back to practicing his fretting dance-

From Mona, thanks for reading ch2! Man, I was so worried using that name. I'm bad at them to begin with and I put that in as a simple joke to myself originally. Honestly glad it went well with someone. I'd also hold off wishing on any falling stars just yet since he has his own part next chapter and you will get to see some of what is going on behind that smile of his.

Well, I needed this alot faster than I was expecting. Before we begin, some details on the one story I have up. Title: Sinful: Merrals Part 1 Author: Darkalley_Rambler Summary: Into the lives of the innocent, a dark being intrudes. Into a quiet mountain town, a predator's plot are weaved. The end is nigh and it begins within one home. Feedback: Oh my, yes. Good or bad. I've long hit the point of perspective loss on this work and could use some guide posts. Fandom: Original Warnings: 3Plus, Abuse, AFFO, Anal, Angst, Anthro, Bi, BP, Contro, CR, D/s, Fingering, F/D, HJ, Inc, MC, M/F, M/s, MiCD, Minor1, Minor2, Oral, Preg, Rape, S&M, Slave, Solo, TF, Tort, Violence, Voy, WIP Additional Warning: I'm reminded of the saying 'You ain't bear-tracking' when I try to remember what warnings should be there. Not cause I'm being particularly truthful, but because half-forgotten elements of this story keep doubling back and mauling me as the author. So if you should have be clawed by a surprise I somehow missed, please let me know. Also cause this story likes it's surprises and tone shifts, so look out for those. Solo story or chaptered story: Chaptered - Currently 25 Chapters at roughly 190k words. I plan to release them weekly for now as a way to motivate myself, probably every Thursday. URL: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600108042 Now on to the surprisingly fast review from Mona Thompson! Oh god, the pressure of failure ... wait. I mean, thank you! I admit I was pretty uncertain of getting much feedback with the first few chapters as Sharon is one of the problem characters. ; Glad to see she got a reaction though and a good one at that! And yes, the situation is a pretty bad one to be in. As you can probably guess, that's the snowflake that got this avalanche going. Using a poison of some type to back someone into a corner so tightly they lose the ability to go for help. I'm pretty sure my depiction is still pretty plot-holey but if and when I rework it I hope to fill the last of them. And I hope you enjoy her getting eaten up too. Muhahaha -cough- ... excuse me, I think I swallowed a toad somehow.