magusfang

Whoever told you that is an idiot, look at the greats, Mark Twain, Salinger, Lee; they all wrote in a nerritive that was fairly close to how they spoke, regional idioms intact. What you know best is you and your world, use it. A good rule says write what you know.

I always look at it like this, write like you speak. In first person you're writing someone's thought so yeah there should be as much extra crap as normal people use in speech, in fact gramer and syntax be damned, who speaks english good anyway?
As for thidr person, I always envision the narrator as some old guy sitting around a campfire telling a story; sure you want things a little more gramatically correct but you still want it to sound human.

Never spanked my girls, but I have to say I don't think if done right its abuse. The one swat principle I think is appropriate as long as it's doesn't become the go to for every offense. I know I got whipped with belts and switched and shoes and spoons and just whatever was handy at the time, literally made me worse. I would take it as a challenge, sort of I can take whatever you can dish out and once my spanking was done, I would repeat whatever got me the whipping in the first place, just to prove my parents couldn't break me I guess.
I tend to take away privledges when they're bad, take away a 16 y/o's car away and see how fast they straighten up. If I need a quick intervention, I just pick them up and hold them till they get the message - drives the 15 y/o nuts
So, not abuse if done with restraint...oh and the making the kid drop their pants...so wrong and sorta creepy!

Oh that hurts DG, my kids think I'm perfect! That's my story and I'm sticking to it! Plus I'll ground the little buggers until they're thirty if they disagree

I don't know, story didn't seem that bad to me; had to look everything up but I'm not a big anime guy, or manga,,,not sure what the difference is anf i'm sure that says it all.
anyway, sorry about your troll, i had a few on another site, just ignored them but they got kinda nasty sometimes so i can understand your frustration. i say screw em, it was a well written piece and i'm sure people enjoyed it, i did, well once i figured out who everyone was...

So I finally went out to the local watering hole, and after a few cold ones I excused myself to add to the water table. As I looked up, I saw that someone had written, in blue ballpoint pen, "Titties and Beer". Now I tell you this not to complain or for some slightly pornographic joke, but to share with you that those three little words reaffirmed my faith in humanity!

a lot cuter than Arnold though

i plan on writing when im gone, sandals has internet. im sure the girls will do some shopping or lay in the sun, so i should have a little free time

don't leave till week after next, so probablt get a few chapters before i go

I don't use specifics but like you I do give rough measurements on somethings and not on others, like everything you need a happy medium. I described one character as: She was small, several inches below his nearly five and a half feet, thin and delicate looking and he knew she couldn't be more than a hundred pounds, if that...
It gives the reader a rough outline and lets them fill in the details so that the character will feel more real to them since they had a hand in that character's creation. Going to the tape is ussually too much" She was 5 foot 1 inch, wieghed 104 pounds, C cup breasts...blah...blah...blah
Makes it sound like an APB.
I do laugh when writers tell us exactly how long their male character's penises are, do guys actually measure their junk? Cause in nearly fifty years I have yet to do that...seems sort of wierd to me.
So in conclusion There's nothing wrong with using numbers to describe a character, just don't go overboard...but that's just my opinion.


I don't know what that means, but after reading it I wanna take a shower!

I don't use specifics but like you I do give rough measurements on somethings and not on others, like everything you need a happy medium. I described one character as: She was small, several inches below his nearly five and a half feet, thin and delicate looking and he knew she couldn't be more than a hundred pounds, if that...
It gives the reader a rough outline and lets them fill in the details so that the character will feel more real to them since they had a hand in that character's creation. Going to the tape is ussually too much" She was 5 foot 1 inch, wieghed 104 pounds, C cup breasts...blah...blah...blah
Makes it sound like an APB.
I do laugh when writers tell us exactly how long their male character's penises are, do guys actually measure their junk? Cause in nearly fifty years I have yet to do that...seems sort of wierd to me.
So in conclusion There's nothing wrong with using numbers to describe a character, just don't go overboard...but that's just my opinion.


I don't know what that means, but after reading it I wanna take a shower!

they don't have a lot of input per se, but the characters are pretty heavily based on my girls - to a point obviously, the five year old doesn't wear kevlar LOL. But they usually dont read the stores until after they're posted, but I do ask for advice from time to time.
as for Joanne, Legion could fix her but wont because that would change who she is, plus she would never give him permission Haven't decided what to do with her nanites yet...we're not quite done with her...there woll be a lot of ghosts bubbling up from the past in the next book...hehehe
As for my niece, she's more like the twind than Cat, even got her one of those 22 caliber crickets, it a miniature rifle for young kids (sister-in-law nearly had a stroke) and she loves going to the ranhe like a big girl, pretty good shot too

Thanx. Writing chapter 20 in Northstar, I think it's gonna be a long on...almost double my usual chapter length

Well you are FORCING her to read your story after all, shoving the words into her eyes one evil letter at a time...ah, sorry, I think I might have taken my meds too early

Thanx. Writing chapter 20 in Northstar, I think it's gonna be a long on...almost double my usual chapter length

Next chapter is almost written, I think you'll be a little surprised then go "awww man!"

Yep adicted to both cliffhangers and women, so I guess I'm doubley screwed (With any luck )

Remember Max had the spiders steam a runway, plus he had the self aware ones fly them out, they are like Alice so they can react faster and do things better than any human pilot could
I just skipped the whole boring flight from the ranch to the sub to get things moving along. There was the potential for a funny scene with Petra's fear of flying but I think the story was getting a bit bogged down
In fact the next several chapters will mainly be prep for the next book then the finale in this book
Getting close to the end...

Depends on what I'm doing; still young enough to get away with a lot, but much too old to take a machete to the chest...stings a bit

A little dented but what's a few more scars at my age, besides i was always ugly! Good thing my wife is into trolls

it may sound strange but when writing fiction you want a little flab, its the way we talk. Mr Shane is correct if all you are concerned with is either technical or informative writing, less is more in these types. But flab in recreational writing is good, it softens the story and makes it more conversational which actually holds peoples attention; don't believe me? Use this list on your favorite book, just one page, then on something like a math textbook. See which one has more flab and then ask yourself which one you'd want to read on a rainy saturday. I know, some of us would rather read the math book - but we're weird!
Just remember that no rule works everywhere - generalizations are bad!

hmmm, no one is even close...this is gonna be fun!

Spiders can fly! They can download the skill just like Alice can.
Oh, better yet! Have the spiders create a landing strip on the ice! Yippee, problem solved! Writing shall now commence! BBL, I may even get this done tonight, who knows. Not getting interrupted as much since the monkey is back in dance class...poor thing, has absolutely no rhythm, hope she grows into her gangly legs!