Lisbet_Adair

I was enjoying that until the throaty singing started, just never a fan of that style. On the other hand, I'm currently listening to a piano cover of this and it's boss.

Ha! Never thought of it like that!

Thanks. I'm no web developer, and I realise I could be asking you to do the equivalent of backflipping through a hoop of fire whilst singing Yankee Doodle Dandy.

I don't know how difficult this would be to implement, and I apologise if it duplicates something someone else has mentioned, but I'd love to see something that allows me to subscribe to a particular category e.g. Assassins Creed so that I'm informed if any new stories appeared.

I had a bit of a block recently with writing, and started listening to some music which I found really useful. I've found Florence and the Machine's "Shake It Out" and "No Light, No Light" to be really good for inspiring some emotional turmoil. Songs that I find sexy: "Bad Things" (the theme to True Blood) by Jace Everett A fairly obscure over of the Strangler's "Nice and Sleazy" by Sons and Daughters (it's a vinyl B side) Hard Fi's cover of Snoop Dog and David Guetta's "Sweat" from the BBC's Live Lounge. Example's "Changed The Way You Kissed Me" And Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" just fits so many pairings... Does anyone have any suggestions for songs that they have found inspiring?

Right, I'm going to get off my arse and reply to my reviews. Firstly: A review for my first story, The Standing One Review by Denim Giant Lolwut? WHY INTERNET? WHY? Gee, thanks for the snub. The irony of someone on AFF.net saying that you're a weird for writing Call of Duty slash who writes their own game slash for a different fandom I strongly suspect this person rated me a single star when they wrote this review, which, if they did, is just being a dick. My opinion is that if you don't like the fandom, or the pairing don't read! Secondly, a review for my second story Twist This review was posted when only chapters one was available and it's from someone called "Moose" who wasn't logged into AFF.net I thought Anderson was an american...maybe I am wrong but that...I wanted MORE MORE MORE!!! Nice writing STYLE keep it up! can't wait for CH 2!!!! Firstly, thank you very much for your review. I'm glad that you enjoyed the story. We were never told in the canon where Gary "Roach" Sanderson was from, and it is not mentioned in the little "Soap's Diary" book that came with MW3. I assumed he was British because I am, and as such, I didn't have to learn a whole lot of new cultural tropes when I was writing. So, he's really only British out of my laziness. Thirdly, another review of Twist from BotechelliAngel which was posted when Chapter 3 was put up. I think your strongest points are the internal dialog/confusion that Ghost is experiencing in the lead up to the sex scene. The most outside description that you give is during the physically intimate moments of Ghost and Roach. Carrying more external description (sight, taist, touch, smell..) into other areas of the story will help you set the mood, and can help boost the already good internal dialog. Good luck writing! Thank you very much for taking the time to review. And also, I don't think you're into this as a fandom so thanks for looking at something that I wouldn't have expected you to. To be honest, I was just using this pairing to further practice writing erotica and that's where I've concentrated my efforts. I did intitally have a lot more information originally written in the story about who I was making Ghost into, but it slowed the pace right down and had to go, which is a shame because I had built a whole world for him! In Chapter 4 "The Morning After" I have a bit more time to tell you more about the world as Ghost tries to come to terms with his shock intimacy with Roach and I hope to expand a bit more later when I have some genuine plots for them to explore. They will go out on active duty at some point, where I can switch the focus of the action to what's happening in the world around them. Regards, L

I just turned a very flattered shade of beetroot! Thanks!

I had this problem. One of my WIPs had an entirely different start that I ditched for being too slow; although it exposed a lot more of the backstory and set the scene for the timeframe in which the story occured. In the end, I decided that if it wasn't going to come up in the action, influence someone's reaction or decision making, it was gone. The end result is a much faster pace for three chapters.

It was pretty clear earlier this year, when I looked at joining, what their TOS were; this is why I came across to AFF and joined that. Sure, you could take a punt on them changing their rules to incorporate MA, but you backed the wrong horse, and this is where you ended up. No sympathy for anyone who broke their rules and is now whinging because they couldn't stick "adult fan fiction" into Google.

I'm a fan of using "cock" as my primary description for male genitalia. Even though some people around me say dick, it's just not in common parlance enough for me to think "my English characters would be comfortable with this. And "cock" is pretty countrywide in its usage. Fortunately, no female characters have been involved in my sex scenes, otherwise it might be a bit of a dilemma. "Fanny" is the most common word used around me, and I know that's potentially confusing for American readers.

William Gibson had "labia" in the middle of the Neuromancer sex scene. Still hot!

I think it depends on the piece, as Bronxwench says above. I dislike it when I'm reading high fantasy pieces that consistently use ye olde language and then "pussy" is thrown into the sex scene: it's just not appropriate for the time. I'm not a huge fan of euphamisms like "her mossy wetness" but that's what some people want to read...

Another COD fan. Hurrah!

Aw! I wish I could go to Bronycon! Stupid Atlantic in the way...

I quite agree. I write past, go back and redraft later. Sometimes I get a flash where I know how to bring it all together.

Yeah. DERP! I wasn't confused about the position, just that unless you're really flexible, it's not comfortable: you can feel the stretch through the back of your legs when you try to touch your toes. Unless by not knowing the fandom, I haven't understood that he's naturally flexible. In which case, that's my ignorance and can duly be ignored. I think that's why a lot of corporal punishment based porn tends to have the actors leaning over things, because they can maintain a comfortable position over many takes. Sure, it has advantages over the fact that it's difficult to clench your buttocks when your hips are at full flexion, and well observed that the force of any strike in that position is likely to knock him somewhat. It's a personal choice I guess. You might really like that position, and it's your story.

No problem. I will get back to reading the rest of it when time allows.

I think if you write for a niche fandom, you're not going to have many reviews. I realised that when I started off on here, writing for a niche fandom myself. Lately, I've made a point of reviewing new OC stuff on the promote a story board and today I reviewed something that was not within a fandom I was familiar with, which is branching out. I feel that if I post my own stuff on here and would like constructive criticism, I have a duty to provide others with the same service (as much as time allows). And I have enjoyed a lot of the OC stuff.

I have reviewed this.

Fair enough. Okay. Is he resentful that he's been pulled of the ship, or does it feed into any adventure desires of going to distant worlds? This is sometimes a reason that motivates people to join the armed forces, especially when tourism isn't firmly established. Are there any redeeming features of the landscape that are worth seeing? What's the reason for the relay station in particular being there and why does he have such a large accompanying force for this world, is there a political dispute? Bearing in mind that whoever currently has a claim on Greenland (Sweden?) send a two-man team with dogs to patrol it, because no on is really expecting an invasion of Greenland. I would imagine this is the same, unless there is a war going on. Perhaps, but fleshing out their characters and their relationship with the protagonist helps to establish the mood, and the personality of the main character. The reason lots of accessory characters in games don't get fleshed out is because we're not seeing the story as it progresses, but playing the action sequences.

I don't think there's anything wrong with having male character that has traits we'd consider feminine. In fact, that's quite an interesting area to explore.

I think you might have an unrealistic scope of an engineer's talents. How does this work at the moment, say on an aircraft carrier where there are aspects of aeronautical and marine engineering combined with general electrical engineering and repair. Do they have catch-all engineers are do they have specialist staff? This guy, like most engineers, may have an appreciation of things outside his specialty but is it realistic that he's responsible for all of it? I think this situation, for someone who's not familiar with the sight of bodies, is probably going to be quite frightening, especially when he realises that whatever did this is still there and may be hunting him. I think most people would be pretty overwhelmed and frozen, before being really sick. Well, they have a job to do, but they might not be happy with the specifics. Are any of them scheduled for home leave (this sets up an element of tragedy) or retirement? Are they experienced soldiers who regret being pulled away from the action, or are the inexperienced and cocky?