SirGeneralSir

thanks for the info there BW, i shall try and use it all for my nefarious goals

good reference there BW. how would you describe the level of excitement, the rush of it as well as the nervousness of it? any kind of panic or ..... giddiness?

ok ive got the girls being very nervous, shy and generally unsure of how to start things going. ive now got them more openly going into the kissing thats starting to evolve more and head towards the direction of them actually having sex. what might girls experience in the moment of a first kiss, making out and the sensation of about to actually have sex, i would imagine most of it would be the same if they were doing it with a guy. but being a guy, i have no idea what a woman generally feels regarding this, the wife is no help because all she does is blush and hide her face or has no answer at all.

try google, i find lots of things that way.

Its just an idea im playing with at the moment, but if Tsunade and Jiraiya had a daughter, what do you think she would be like? appearance wise, i would think that she would kind of look like her mother, probably have the same temper too, but generally really flirty with someone she really likes. i think white hair instead of the blond, and the body of a younger Tsunade (teen) at the moment thats all i can think of. any ideas or comments?

JD ...... i know or at least i think i know what your refering to, but i think you need to word that just a little differently anyways, the full on story is that, both girls like the same guy, and both of them actually lived very ..... limited lives? the other girl, she traveled with her master to become a medic and everything, she has no family and just as few friends as the other girl. what i was going for was that the 2nd girl would reveal to the first, that she doesn't know much about kissing ether, i think she would say something like this. (still working on it) "I dont know what to tell you, i'm flattered that you would ask me but the truth is, i don't know either. I was orphaned when i was young, then i got sick and everyone avoided me, it wasn't until my former master came to our village and cured me was i able to live a somewhat normal life. But as wondering medics, we never stayed in any one place too long to make any real attachments to anyone, ive never been kissed ether." with this conundrum, i would think one of them offers the idea of kissing each other so that they can practice, eventually getting slightly more and more into it before the guy knocks on the door. full story is a Naruto harem fic, i intend there to be some conflict between a number of the girls but also some pairings between others, total is about 6-8 girls and the guy

i didnt say it didnt count, i was agreeing saying that because it was dialogue related, that the character said the what and why, makes it a good example of a good way to say it. but if he just said the what and not the why, then its a bad example because your left with just a statement and the first reaction the girl gave your character.

i see some of the points your making, i just dont know how to implement them into my story or if they should be. i have 2 female characters that are new friends, there hitting it off really good and everything. one of them lived a VERY secluded life, while she was well educated and everything, the only people that she ever really saw were the guards and servants, the odd villager here or there but no one ever tried to get to know her and become friends etc. she is after a guy but doesn't know the first thing about romance, kissing or anything related to that, knows what things are but not the how's. here is the section im working on, im only on the first page of this chapter. “Amaru, I was wondering if you could help me with something, it’s kind of embarrassing to ask this of someone that I have only known for a short time, but there is no one else that I can ask.” “Of course I would help you, what do you need?” “Well as you know, I am a priestess from the Demon country, as such I had lived a very secluded life and I don’t have many real friends. The only people that would see me from a day to day basis were the many guards that were there to protect me. Not many of them were interested in being friends with the person they were only there to protect, even the servants kept their distance from me as well as the general populace. What I’m trying to say is, w-would you help me learn to kiss?”

lol BW thats dialogue related, his character referred them to figs, then told her why. but if he just said they looked like figs and left it at that, well ..... i would still be scratching my head because even i have a number of ideas of what that could mean, but what does he mean? as general comments, food related products are supposed to be bad, so yes that one works well looking into my story, i see that i do make fun of some characters, but i at least try to keep it balanced, every one gets picked on at some point in time

So i did try a google search over this, all i got was a bunch of people saying its nasty, or that its just because she is a lesbian/Bi sexual etc and others saying that it is normal. what I am referring to, is the "myth" that young women will practice kissing with each other, maybe not all young girls, but that some do it. of course i've only seen or heard of it in books, TV or movies. so the question is, is this something thats real or fantasy? If its something real, that girls would do to some extent normally, how might that kind of conversation go, what are the variables in it? If its just entertainment fantasy, what MIGHT be a logical reasoning and method that a girl/woman would use to explain the reasoning for the practice etc. trying to keep this as generally speaking as possible for now

As a writer dabbing into sexual fields i found that there was a lot that i did not know or understand, thanks to the many fine women on here they have helped me to hopefully write a story that they would at least be able to enjoy as much as i did writing it. This thread is a attempt to help other writers not turn their story into a bad porno/hentai story with lines that make readers scratch their heads trying to figure out what is actually going on instead of enjoying the story. Breasts: i have learned, thanks to the many women on this very site, NOT to refer to breasts as fruit if you want to generally have women readers also enjoy your story, that said the same goes for referring to a mans dick as meat related products unless this is all part of conversation. as a reader seeing a variety of sizes referenced helps to make a story more interesting, there are no copies of the same body types, how many characters can you read about who have breasts the size of a basket ball, even if that is your fetish, i tends to be a bad thing if every woman looks like that. it should also be noted, according to the women i had talked to, referring to a woman's bra size does not actually give a proper description for the breasts himself, it confused me for a while as i tried to understand that as many people use the DDs and C cups etc to try and describe the sizes, so as i was told, dont do it. Breasts can be described as. Globes, Mounds and many other terms, most can be found here. http://home.epix.net/~jlferri/breasts.html Cum: Another thing i have learned is the use of terms to describe when a man or woman has an orgasum. the use of bad porn/hentai terms isnt a good one to use. Love juices for example, just makes me want to laugh even if the person is talking, its foolish to use. also having characters cum by the buckets that they could fill a bathtub with it in one orgasm tends to not be a good thing, nothing wrong with characters producing larger amounts, but there is a line that should be considered. Dicks: Reading a story where a guys dick is beyond reason, large is also not a good thing to use, even if it is a fictional story like an anime or something, a guy with a 8" - 16" dick doesn't work very well, first off the size could and would cause the woman unimaginable pain, penetrating into a womans womb may sound awesome, but unless its some kind of a tentacle monster, a solid hard dick is going to have to break through the cervix, then there is anal and oral, the poor girl is going to be on a one way trip to the hospital and probably not coming back. referring to a guys dick as a meat product, unless its part of a conversation or thought process of a character/s tends to have the same result as referring to a woman's breasts as fruit or other round objects, it distracts from the story as it can make the reader stop to think about it. At this time, this is all i have but please feel free to add things to this thread of the do and dont do, over all there is nothing stopping someone from doing any of it, but for the people that want to try and become a better writer like i am trying to, consider what you have and are reading here.

going to be a big one here Shizune opened the door to reveal a nurse removing a needle from Sakura having finished sedating them, just like Ino and Hinata, they were strapped to beds with straps tied just above their elbows, another set of straps tied down just above the knee. Chakra suppressing chains were used around their wrists and ankles preventing them from trying to escape, once they were all inside Shizune closed and locked the door behind her as the nurse left. Cho moved over to Sakura and began to use her medical jutsu to scan the girl, she noticed that Sakura had an elevated temperature and her face was flushed. Her breathing was shallow and irregular, but what caught her attention the most what that her hormonal levels were also being affected. She then repeated the process with Ino and Hinata, once she finished, Cho moved away and faced the others in the room. “The original findings are mostly correct, their chakra is imbalanced but it is not causing the unstable mentality in them. I do have some suspicions but that can wait, we must place a chakra dampening seal on them, while the chakra imbalance isn’t the cause it is affecting them. Shizune-San we will need your assistance to monitor Sakura, Akako will observe Ino and Kameyo will watch Hinata while the rest of us place the seals on them.” Cho and Juro stood on opposite sides of Sakura as she looked past them in an obviously drugged state, the two cut opened the top of her hospital gown covering her globes of flesh, Sakura’s erect little nubs stabbing into the air proving Cho with more information on her physical state. Hiroshi and Kaemon stood next to Ino and repeated the same process of opening her gown in the same manner, Ino had slightly larger breasts and her nipples were just as erect as Sakura’s, again Cho again took note of this. Hisako and Kazuo standing next to Hinata, they too opened up her gown revealing her mountains of flesh, just like the other girls her nipples were reaching for the sky and clearly swollen, Cho took notice of the odd abnormalities. “This is most interesting indeed, Shizune-San did you or Tsunade check their reproductive cycles during your tests?” “Eh? No, we didn’t think that such a test was necessary, did you find something?” Cho then lifted the lower half of Sakura’s gown revealing her panties were clearly wet, she then looked over to Hiroshi, only to find the same results with Ino, Hisako revealed Hinata’s lower half revealing the same condition. Kazuo looked up towards the Cho gaining her attention. “It would appear that in a way, the three of them are in a hyperactively aroused state, almost as if they were in heat. It would explain Kiba’s reaction towards Hinata to the point of almost raping her, considering her emotional attachment towards Naruto, I can only assume that in her mind she has already found her mate, but that alone would not explain the other two.” “Perhaps something happened in the cave that they were not comfortable revealing to us, if Naruto’s unstable chakra entered their bodies while they were sexually aroused, it could have triggered something primal in them due to his primal state.” Hisako said as she watched the others tending to the girls. “Look at this, it would appear that there is more to this condition than we first suspected.” Kaemon said as Cho moved over towards him. “What I do here, I do as a medic.” Kazuo then gently squeezed Hinata’s breast and milk started to flow from her nipple as the young woman also let out a low moan of pleasure. Cho began to process the information then looked to Hisako and Juro, giving them both a nod. They too squeezed the breast of Sakura and Ino, revealing that they too were lactating as well getting a moan from said girl. does this read well?

i see i see ...... so many notes to take on this subject alone

lets see. i went with cutting because the girls are chained/strapped to the beds, i think i have to go into more detail on that part, but thats why i figured they would have to cut the top half of the gowns. im not following your comment about the abnormalities. the going into heat part and the wet panties are something that i need to fix, they are EXTREMELY aroused, or supposed to be and wanting to mate. the reasoning is kind of hinted i think, in an earlier part of this chapter and maybe a bit in the end of the last one (not posted) as for the squeezing of breasts, that was my experience with my wife when she was still nursing our baby (whos now 3) hell if i was laying on top of her she would leak. milk production and breast size, i was told can make them swell up more if there not being drained/fed on but then im not a woman

I know this is a bit much of text to paste, but it would be better to read it this way so it can be understood, tell me if the descriptions and the flow of this is right. Cho and Juro stood on opposite sides of Sakura as she looked past them in an obviously drugged state, the two cut opened the top of her hospital gown covering her globes of flesh, Sakura’s erect little nubs stabbing into the air proving Cho with more information on her physical state. Hiroshi and Kaemon stood next to Ino and repeated the same process of opening her gown in the same manner, Ino had slightly larger breasts and her nipples were just as erect as Sakura’s, again Cho again took note of this. Hisako and Kazuo standing next to Hinata, they too opened up her gown revealing her mountains of flesh, just like the other girls her nipples were reaching for the sky and clearly swollen, Cho took notice of the odd abnormalities. “This is most interesting indeed, Shizune-San did you or Tsunade check their reproductive cycles during your tests?” “Eh? No, we didn’t think that such a test was necessary, did you find something?” Cho then lifted the lower half of Sakura’s gown revealing her panties were clearly wet, she then looked over to Hiroshi, only to find the same results with Ino, Hisako revealed Hinata’s lower half revealing the same condition. Kazuo looked up towards the Cho gaining her attention. “It would appear that in a way, the three of them are in a hyperactively aroused state, almost as if they were in heat. It would explain Kiba’s reaction towards Hinata to the point of almost raping her, considering her emotional attachment towards Naruto, I can only assume that in her mind she has already found her mate, but that alone would not explain the other two.” “Perhaps something happened in the cave that they were not comfortable revealing to us, if Naruto’s unstable chakra entered their bodies while they were sexually aroused, it could have triggered something primal in them due to his primal state.” Hisako said as she watched the others tending to the girls. “Look at this, it would appear that there is more to this condition than we first suspected.” Kazuo said as Cho moved over towards him. “What I do here, I do as a medic. Kazuo then gently squeezed Hinata’s breast and milk started to flow from her nipple. Cho began to process the information then looked to Kaemon and Juro, giving them both a nod, they too squeezed the breast of Sakura and Ino, revealing that they too were lactating as well. “This is most puzzling, regardless we must place the seals on them now or the damage to their bodies may become irreversible, not to mention the psychological damage that may already be done.”

true, im thinking of all possible options that could explain some of the symptoms that the women would be experiencing or give reasons that the breasts would be noticed, like one of them slightly leaking, gets examined to find more coming out, and the other 2 are also found to be lactating. exploring options

right but i have heard stories that both animals and people would SOMETIMES start to lactate when they are around a baby or babies for extended periods of time. there was one story where an old woman found some baby squirrels that had been abandoned, she brought them in and her young dog and cat didnt try to kill them or anything, instead they acted like parents to the babies and both animals started to lactate and were actually nursing the babies. i know of another story where a woman who adopted a newborn baby woke up one night co sleeping with it and she was leaking actual breast milk not the colostrum, so from my understanding its possible but like 1 in 9,000 chances type of thing

humm i see, so it could be safe to say that if a human woman by kind of almost but not magical means, was ..... forced? into an animal like kind of heat, where the body is going into overload of trying to attract a mate, if she somehow triggered lactation, she could be fully ready to feed a child that does not actually exist and so forth. if i can just write it properly that is. anything else that i might need to know and could use in some way?

ok what if she was just starting to lactate? she hasnt fed the baby at all yet or anything, shes just NOW starting to produce, or has been for ...... 3hrs? how much could she have?

lol depends on the .... tastes so non lactating nipples would be as you said perky, erect, tight, hardened and pebbled. but what about if they were lactating, what would they be then? what about if the woman has about ..... half filled ones? and what level of effect would that be? how long does it take for breasts to go from 0 milk to 100% full of milk. im still on the fence on if there lactating or not

if it has the right effect, some just might salute but yes i did mean globes. so how would you describe nipples to make them sound like they reflect the breasts as well? needles just sounds odd (yes i did read someone with that) peas are too small and while its not a fruit its still a food source ..... a small rock? a nicely formed lump sounds more like the result of an injury ...... hummm maybe one or all of them could be lactating too? the effects of the hormones, the "SICKNESS" and other things might help to make the breasts to be more noticeable and give reason for some of the effects to happen etc. what kind of changes happens to a woman's breasts/nipples while lactating? things that a guy wouldnt know, i know they can and do swell, nipples get sensitive and swell too, what else?

lol damnable bra sizes are made to confuse men i tell you these are the girls that im writing about, im only guessing brest sizes but would at least like it to be reasonable based on what ive seen. Sakura http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/148/8/8/sakura_haruno_by_mai_sailor_sakura-d51hgvs.png http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/331/9/4/sakura_haruno_shippuden___lineart_colored_by_dennisstelly-d6vu0l0.png there not huge but not small ether from what ive seen they should be like. Ino http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130720110117/naruto/images/d/d7/Ino_Part_II.jpg http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/34300000/Ino-naruto-shippuuden-34353186-2560-1600.jpg Ino's appear to be a bit larger Hinata http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/268/a/6/hinata_hyuga_evolucion_by_nelsonediazn-d5fvsme.jpg http://media.animevice.com/uploads/3/35148/644672-tumblr_mmklsdjsgi1snrc86o4_1280.jpg http://k38.kn3.net/BA59DF094.png http://dailyanimeart.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/hinata-in-red-dress.png Hinata appears to have the larger ones, she said in one of the movies while sitting in a hot spring, that she has to hold her breasts down because they float so i could guess that she is D cup. now with this in consideration, would this translate well? "she had nicely sized globs of flesh for breasts and perky little nipples that reached out to the sky" "she had well formed mounds that rested on her slightly moving chest, her very noticeable nipples standing like towers" "her large voluptuous mountains stood proudly on her chest, her swollen nipples standing like flagpoles" its just quick and not actually written for the story, but does it sound like the first second and third ones differ in size that it makes sense?

ok so as a guy trying to describe breasts in a story is kind of hard for me because i know what i think of, but does that translate well to others? i want my story to hopefully be enjoyable for both men and women, but i know that women from what ive been told, dont like the idea of breasts being described as fruit "her breasts were as large as melons" or "her nice firm breasts were as round as cantaloupe" im trying to give an idea of the breast sizes of 3 different women, the sizes im thinking of are medium C, i think a 36 is about right, the second being a C 42 and the last one being D 34, yes im looking at a chart im still working out the details of the scene, but the women's breasts are being noticed by a medical team because of effects that a sickness of sorts is having on their bodies as well as their breasts. i found this link that had terms used in general about breasts, but im still not sure what to use if any of it. http://home.epix.net/~jlferri/breasts.html if needed i can show what ive written in here as well

ok so im trying to find a way to describe in a VERY vague way some of the main achievements that Naruto has made in his life, before the time skip, in shippuden and in the movies as if it was a prophecy. example. "Born in the wake of a beast, a would be hero entered our world. as a young man, lending his strength across the land in the hopes of peace he battled foes and monsters alike. bringing spring to snow (Naruto the Movie: Ninja Clash in the Land of Snow) defending the king of a moon (Guardians of crescent moon) the hero coming of age did battle the serpent of death with an army made of stone and defeated the , pease coming for a time the hero was faced with an army of the sky and battled a leech of darkness, his power unmatched he defeated the would be king and the monster by his side. tricked into imprisonment, the hero soon faced a winged beast that devoured souls only to be defeated by him." so far thats really all i have its mostly notes and im trying to make it sound like some old wise men saw that a hero would do all of this, being Naruto but not knowing his name or where and when to find him. how could i make it sound all mysterious?

cool. ultimately he would know and remember everything from both worlds of what he did and would have experienced, also plays into him having to re create his relationships with his old world wives and other things