I'm surprised at your hatred of it. I don't read Yaoi and I have never read a good Naruto Yuri, but I can't say they should all be destroyed.
The pairings I like the most are:
Chouji Ino - This is the most natural easy going of the canon pairs (and it is canon).
Kabuto Sakura - Hard as hell to make work but they just someone complement each other. Kabuto is a lot like Sasuke but without the angsty boring bits.
Naruto Tsunade - Its been mentioned before but Tsunade knows Naruto better than almost anyone else.
Kiba Hinata - Because they are polar opposites.
Temari shikamaru - Temari doesn't go with many others easily, and the same is true for Shikamaru, yet these two work very well together.
The pairs I dislike are:
Itachi - Anyone: Itachi is goal oriented, and unless he has everything he wants or the woman he is with is propelling his ambitions I doubt he'd stay through the afterglow.
Neji - Hinata: mostly cause its incest but partially because I think Neji is to honorable to do anything like that with her which makes Hinata be the instigator and that's just silly.