Cuzosu

Sounds like a plan, then. I'm glad you like the idea. And, as to the length of the story, that's not such a big deal to me. I've always been more interested in quality than quantity. And I don't think you're sick in the head for writing slash. Nor for writing kinks. I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with this.

Well argued. I agree - though of course I beg for moderation in word usage! Use 'em too much and they wear out my ears! (Or eyes, rather, if you want to be technical. ) Throw in a little slang here and there, if the characters can manage it! ('cause some of us really do drawl horribly when we talk, and I'm one of them when I get either really amused or really tired.) Just please, please, please, whatever else you do when writing (to anyone who cares to listen), change up your words, use different phrasing, find a new word every day and use it in your story so you remember it later. I kid you not, those of us who truly enjoy reading will appreciate you for it. Because expanding one's vocabulary should be something every writer enjoys, and because we who read for pleasure like to find those wonderful stories that send our minds flying beyond where the book ends...even if this means we sit with a dictionary in our laps and the books in our hands (or on the computer) while we get caught up. Although I admit that we can't all be like my muralist grandfather and randomly flip through the dictionary in order to find at least one word a day we didn't know before. Though it's tempting. At least for me.

Apart from such bizarre bits of phrasing as "furry clam," "love muffin," "man rod" and "tuna taco" - which are just disturbing, thanks, let's not even use those, people.... Anyway, the main vocabulary turn offs, for me, are those obnoxious grammar mix ups (your vs. you're, their vs. there vs. they're, etc.); poor phrasing (if it's illogical or doesn't make you think of what you're trying to describe immediately, it's probably not going to work for the readers); people too often misspelling things (because there are so many free spell checks out there, and free word programs that have spell check, and while they're not always correct, they work fine for the most part, so I don't like this trend of poor spelling); and, this being one of the things that turns me off a story the fastest: an excessively crass story. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against cussing (as Mark Twain so notably observed, at times "profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer"), but using swear words more than a few (2, 3 at most) times in a paragraph when (a) the character is not pissed off, or (b) the character isn't speaking or thinking...that's excessive and tells me that the author didn't care enough about the work itself to switch up the phrasing so as not to bore the readers, so why should I care about reading it? I understand that some characters (and people in real life) swear excessively; that's fine, portray that...through the way the character speaks and/or thinks. If it's not speaking or thinking, even if it's describing a character, swearing should be kept to a minimum. It's a matter of courtesy - to the author's own self and to the readers, both. I get that people know the difference of the words when they're spoken (usually), but it drives me nuts when, for example, someone uses "through" instead of "threw." It makes me seriously wonder if none of them made it through middle school English classes. If the author's foreign, hey, that's great - it takes guts to post a story in a language that you're not native to. I can forgive a few mistakes, easy. But if there's a lot of them, please, go find a beta. And if it's your native language and you're not great with spelling and/or grammar - especially if someone points it out to you and suggests you find a beta - please, by all means, go. Find. A beta. They're worth it. The really good ones will edit for you and play sounding board - help you keep the story on track if there's a plot, and find ways for you to mesh ideas you really want to include. This makes a lot of difference sometimes, especially if you're trying to keep to a plot and the porn just keeps interfering. (Not that I mind porn; if I did, I wouldn't be here. But if there's supposed to be plot, please, there shouldn't be a sex scene every chaper.) If it's an easily fixable mistake, basically, and it shows up a lot, I find I can't read the story. *shrug* The way I put it may have been a bit harsh (I have been told I'm too brutally honest at times), but that's how I see it. If a word or phrase is not used by more than one generation, it may not - and probably won't - come across as appealing to readers of another generation. As much as I love creative descriptions, the author starts failing to maintain quality when the readers stop understanding it. If it's aimed at a specific generation, say so. Targeting one generational audience may exclude another; this applies to generational gaps and different areas alike - sayings take time to migrate away from their point of origin. Swearing is fairly well universal, discounting language differences. Creative swearing is interesting if done right, but some combinations of words just don't work well. And, while I myself swear sometimes, I have a lot of admiration for any person who can insult people horribly without cussing. I think this is true of most readers, but I could be wrong. I admit that I'm a hard-liner about a lot of things, though, so maybe I'm coming across rather harsh about all this, but these are the things that bother me the most in writing.

Probably for the best. And a wonderful comment. I'm rather fond of the refresh button as well. Especially for the CAPTCHA things. I had quetzacoatl once, only it had an 'n' on the end of it. Was very strange. Almost as odd as having "normal," and "squl"-something or other. Because really, what is a normal, squl-thingie?

Posting a review now, the CAPTCHA words are: akdater but ...what? It's like the CAPTCHA's saying, "Sorry, I'm taken. Look at this instead." And I hit refresh when it's something I don't understand or can't type, so at least some of them are making more sense. Had one once that said Lincoln something-or-other, but it was a while back and I don't remember the other half. I still don't know if it was talking about the president or the car.

I think I like you too! ( Love the way you phrased it, so I had to reuse it!) And it's always nice to find people who understand what I mean when I talk about the characters I play with. Some people just don't understand, and then things get awkward. I...can't write like that, period. For one, the characters won't cooperate with me, and for another, if I'm not satisfied with the work, I won't post it. Occasionally I have to scrap and rewrite entire scenes because the characters are doing something in a later scene that totally clashes. As much as I love my readers - especially the ones who review! - I never write solely to please them. And yes, it is a compliment that they get so worked up about your works...but. At the same time, I've seen so many readers - usually also fellow writers - who have utter faith in the authors whose works they follow, so I don't much appreciate the readers who demand that a story go a certain way. I'd rather chat with the fellow authors who are reading my works - and whose works I am reading - and enjoy the stories as they go. I've found stories that are so well written that I adore them, regardless of sad endings, regardless of the disasters that happen - hell, I beta for one wonderful lady on FFnet (Clara Barton, who writes Gundam Wing fan fiction) and...well, she and I like to play sounding board - and sometimes we include another great writer, snowdragonct. The sounding board thing is quite helpful, especially with someone who isn't going to steal ideas. (Clara and I like to see what other authors do with the ideas we have, as opposed to what we actually had in mind. Although when I play sounding board for her, often enough we think so much alike it's amazing. Though the truly amazing thing is that she can hand me what she has in mind and I can usually find a way to make it all fit together. Which is the best part about being/having a sounding board. Seeing it all come together, in the story or before, is a wonderful feeling.) Well, I can't really say I understand your problem with the books - probably because my avid reading was very much encouraged by my family as I was growing up, to the point where my grandma and I used to have my grandpa's favorite novel memorized and could recite it paragraph by paragraph...and did. So although I often spot bits editors missed catching in novels, I try not let it get to me - and it makes me even pickier about my own writing. I can't say I update a lot, because I'm looking for a job and trying to have a life and I have a boyfriend. And I almost never drop a story. So far, I think I've dropped a grand total of one. I just have a bunch going at any one time, so they take forever to update. No problem; I miss spelling mistakes and suchlike now and then too. I hope you get past that soon! And that the problem doesn't happen again for a while.

I can definitely understand your point with three siblings who all had different reactions to abuse - though in my case, the abuse was mental and not even happening in the same house. But my brothers are twins and while I suspect the younger twin will wind up mentally and possibly physically abusive (not a prospect I like, but I've seen flashes of these sides in him and I admit that if he weren't my brother I'd choose to have nothing to do with him), the older twin is so...blah...about everything that in the first place I don't know if he'll ever find someone to be with, but I just don't think he's got it in him to be as deliberately cruel or abusive as his twin - and I think if he realized he was being abusive, he'd be concerned and talk to his family (his dad and me, because he's not close to our mom) to see if we could figure out a way to help him stop. He's a decent person, except for the fact that when he opens his mouth - he doesn't even have to speak - you just want to punch him; he's that obnoxious and irritating. It sounds trite, but I'm sorry you were abused - and your brothers, though I sympathize more with the one you said never sees violence as an option. Abuse isn't a good experience for anyone, I've seen enough to know that much. But the simple fact that you can be so - I want to say calm but I realize you're probably not - so...honest despite painful past experiences?...as to say that spanking used sparingly can be discipline...that makes me think you'll be fine, however long the healing process is. (In hindsight, reading back through this, I think I've come across as kind of egotistical, and that's not what I meant to do. But I just woke up and my brain isn't functioning quite well yet, and I can't think of better phrasing. So I'm sorry if my words are offensive.) For some reason, I'm always surprised when I meet other ADHD people. And I'll be honest (and on subject): if my parents had given me a swat every time I repeated a mistake when I was younger, I probably would have learned a number of lessons sooner. For that matter, if my dad had tried giving me a swat instead of just yelling at me, probably he'd have had to yell a lot less. ...and then again, maybe not. Half the time he and I had our yelling matches, it was over him being mad at a relative or one of the dogs - and when he got mad at the dogs it was usually because he didn't want to admit that he was mad that he'd made a mistake and now had a mess to clean up. (Two words: Trash cans. Once also a lovely set of velvet antlers, because we gave the dogs antlers sometimes and it was in the older dog's reach.) I also intervened between him and my step sisters a number of times. My step brother would not have welcomed my interference, though, because he was older - and male. *rolls eyes* Men.... I was the older sibling, too. Part of why disappointment worked so well on me. I was supposed to be the example. The downside of this is, I think the younger twin has a major sister complex now (and since I mentioned it to him, my bf has become extremely...wary?...distrusting?...around the twin because he thinks it makes a lot of sense - and that kind of disturbs me and makes me wonder if there was something I could/should have done differently, but then he wouldn't have had a decent female influence), because I was more of a mother to them when I was able to be there than our own mother was - because she has after-rape and after-abuse issues, and almost all of her major trauma has been inflicted by guys. (Her sperm donor was/is a manipulative, abusive...person...and still alive last I heard, but she disowned him a long time ago. And her mother was never much of a maternal influence; my granny wasn't good with kids, especially little ones.) So my mom has never been a good mother in the little day to day things. Oh, she'll go rabid bitch on anyone who does wrong to her kids, don't get me wrong - in that she's a wonderful mother. But my brothers have never seen how much she cares for all of her kids, because she's not good at showing it. *sigh* One of the parenting mistakes that I'm going to do my best not to make. As much as I love my family, I don't want my kids turning out like my siblings or my parents. If they must turn out like family, I will do my best to see that they turn out either like my adopted sister or my grandpa. (I'd say like me or my bf, but I'm not sure I want to jinx myself. He did so many things behind his parents' backs, and I was/am so blunt that my father had no idea how to handle me.) So I'll use the one swat method, and I'll be disappointed, and I will raise my children with dogs and they will spend time with our extended family. And apart from that I guess I'll see when I get there.

I have a blast when writing, simply because the characters take on a life of their own and I get to see their interactions in my head - almost like a movie, but usually against a black screen. (Usually. Depends on if there's a place I have in mind or if they opt for certain surroundings.) The downside to having characters take on a life of their own, of course, is that, when they're arguing with each other about something they want written, I can't get them to shut up. And they dont. Go. Away. I have to wait until they're done or come up with a compromise. Kind of a hassle. And a major headache. I, on the other hand, can't stand to not read good books, because I'm too much of a grammar Nazi and a plot-hound. (I looove convoluted plots and long stories, and a touch - or more - of the dark is just wonderful as seasoning. ) And of course you're welcome. It's always fun to discuss writing with other writers; we bounce around the most interesting tips and commentary, and often make strange remarks that no one but another author would understand. Seconded! I love my readers, too, but sometimes a bittersweet ending is best - or even just a depressing or resolved one. It really depends on the story. It's fine and good to make the readers happy, but if the author isn't proud of or at least satisfied with his/her work, something needs to be scrapped and redone. Readers who demand happy endings all the time aren't the kind that will buy another copy when the first one is worn out. Nor are they the kind who will think, "Hey, this story was so good, maybe there are other awesome stories by this person!" and check out an author's page or profile. A reader worth keeping will keep coming back. (And usually forgive the author for taking time to update, and really care if life suddenly has puppies all over your lap.)

Good to know. (I saw the thread a few months ago but was too busy to respond - and now that I've stumbled across it again, I figured, well, why not?)

Raymy: Yes, my insane drabbles.... Yes, of course there is Shuuhei/Starrk! I did mention that my drabbles are insane, did I not? And I like thinking up scenarios to put characters together. It's - part hobby, part mental exercise. Got to keep the mind active. Angst - well, I usually try not to use it often, because I know it's horribly overdone. But sometimes you (I) just have to. Certainly I have a blast writing these tiny little bits and pieces of stories - though some of them are mere preludes to longer stories I'm still trying to work out how to write! (*cough* Byakuya/Kisuke and a foursome. *cough*) No worries, though; I remember all the WIPs I have, even though it sometimes takes forever to update them. *sweatdrop* Personally, though, I'll admit that my favorites out of these, so far, are the threesomes, #7 (Gin and Starrk), #8 (Kisuke and Starrk), #14 (Shunsui and Starrk), #22 (Byakuya and Kisuke), and #26 (Shinji and Starrk). I enjoy the others, don't get me wrong - but these make me laugh every time. I'm also extremely proud of #22 and #26 because I didn't think I'd be able to do so well with those pairings without a lot of effort - and they turned out awesomely in character and made everyone laugh. Made me really happy.

I'm starting this from Chapter Four and will continue with it as I go - so any previous review responses are still in the chapter after I got the review. Void-san: Thanks for the review! I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks it's well written (certainly I'm trying to keep up with myself, but I don't always succeed!) and - well, I don't remember if I allow guests to review or not. *sweatdrop* It's been a while since I messed around with that particular part of my profile. I also have this and other stories posted on AO3 if that makes it easier for you - I know AO3 allows anonymous reviews. Raymy: Yes, Kis-kun is just starting to listen and respond again - though he's still extremely easy to accidentally chase away. I mean, the way the next chapter starts...well. I think you'll enjoy it immensely (my pre-readers certainly adore it so far!) and, not to brag, but I think it's a pretty neat way to show that things are starting to change. Having the guys suddenly start exchanging witty remarks and accept each other's presence is all part of my deep, dark plan...okay, maybe not so dark, but deep certainly. I've been depressed, and manic depression runs in my family, so although it's driving me nuts to have their relationship develop so slowly, I know how it needs to go. It sucks, certainly, but - well, I started it so I'll suck it up and keep with it. Um...you didn't review the third chapter, so I think it was the second-to-last chapter posted. And if you feel I'm taking too long, you can always pester me here on the forum or whatever, too. I know slow updates drive readers mad - and fans pounding down the door (an exaggeration, yes, but that's the mental image I just had) actually encourages my muse to cooperate more. And yes, the CAPTCHA words for the stories are sometimes extremely odd. I so rarely remember them, but often they make me laugh, too.

I very rarely plan out anything; plans go awry so easily. About the most I ever have of a plan is, "I want to include this as a scene," or "I want it to end like this" - it makes for a very chaotic story, but personally I think that just makes the entire thing more entertaining. Especially when the characters in my head start having conversations of their own and insisting things be included. *facepalm* They've done that to me a lot recently; made for a bet and flirting in one story and had everyone looking askance and thinking, "Did they really just...?" And of course the answer was yes, they did really just. I'm still not sure why, precisely, but it's going to make for a wonderfully hilarious ending. And one of a whole three things in that story that are planned, period. On the other hand, too much free reign to a story can make things evolve out of proportion. I started a Final Fantasy VII fic as a gift for a friend on another site, and all she asked of me was to start out with "It was a rainy night in Midgar" and to use a specific pairing. Well, in relatively short order it turned into a series (or should I say three?) and the pairing turned into a threesome. Granted, she gave her permission or I wouldn't have let it get that far, but this is the kind of thing that happens to me. *shakes head* The third in the series was inspired by a Christmas parody that came into my head and was mentioned in the first, right at the beginning.

"Night to Remember" Joe Diffie

"Goodbye, Squirrel" Cledus T. Judd

"How You Remind Me" Nickelback

Yes, it certainly did! I agree that being punished after you've learned the lesson is overkill, at least to the child's mind (I had a very similar experience, except I think it was that I kept getting lectured by different family members after they heard about the incident). Certainly I'm not saying I'll be a perfect parent - I don't think there's any such thing. But I believe that trust is the key to having a real family, and I've seen/experienced how a family - even one that's close - can break down if that trust is lost. My relationship with my dad is just now beginning to recover, and it's been six, seven years since I moved out of his house? Something like that. I think I'm more scarred by my grandpa's pinching than I could ever have been by his spanking. Man has an iron pinch! I mean, OW! And he doesn't do it to punish people; he just doesn't realize how strong his fingers are, so when he gets you - usually as you're climbing into a truck - you start figuring out ways to either get faster or hide your butt from his pinches. I move quick when I get into a truck and he's getting in behind me. Hahaha, yes, like I said, my mom ought to be called the Cat Whisperer. She loves cats, and dogs, and other animals, but mostly cats. Currently she has a boxer that thinks she's part cat, wriggles her way as far into my mom's lap as she can get and then whines and nuzzles and otherwise begs for attention. No joke, she will rub up against you to get petted, just like a cat. It's pretty cute. Though her cat who wiped his feet...his name was Zeke, and he had a thing for button shirts. Especially if they had rounded, shiny buttons. Everyone who knew the cat swears to me that you could tell when he was going to go for her buttons, because he'd squint and lay his ears back and be staring at my mom, knowing he was going to get the dreaded tap...but eventually going for it anyway. She never could train him out of that habit, but that's probably because pets of our family always have stubborn streaks and one or two bad habits they refuse to give up. Usually because they make us laugh. Mostly it depends on the kid. I know that most kids who have ADD or ADHD have a hard time learning lessons from just words, because I've known a lot of people with such disorders - including myself and my boyfriend and two of my younger brothers. Bipolar kids often need different methods depending on their moods - my sister and I are both bipolar, so I have a lot of experience in that respect. It makes parenting more difficult, but at the same time, the kid has to come first. Now, sometimes sending a kid with ADD or ADHD to a corner for no more than ten minutes will work as a discipline method. But you have to be careful because the longer the kid stays there, the more apt they are to forget or get mad because they have to be moving. It's not a choice - it takes a lot of concentration and self-control to keep still, for someone with such a disorder. Usually more than a child has. Thus why I say physical discipline - one swat to the rear - is usually the best choice with a kid who has ADD or ADHD. It's quick, it's pointed, and if you start them young enough and do it only with something between your hand and their skin, it's more about the sound and shock value than the pain. (Prime example: I will never swat a kid in the tub or fresh out of it. I will tell them that they will be spanked when they get out if they're in the tub, and I will wrap them in a towel and then span them either way. Spanking wet skin only amplifies the pain and tends to breed resentment, which is counter productive almost always. Of course, if it takes more than a few seconds to get the kid in a towel, then I'd have to remind them why they're being spanked, but honestly that's something that usually needs to be clarified for some time anyway.) Belts I think are too much, as are willow switches - both of which were used on my mother, excessively, when she was a child. So I don't agree with using either; those items...something about using them seems to almost encourage excess use, which amounts to abuse, and I don't want to go there. I don't like seeing other people go there - and I've seen that, too, with belts. My mom had a leather belt, and when either her or my step dad went to get it, one of my brothers bawled.... And they were careful to never hit with the clasp, but the twins have always been adept at pushing tempers too far and getting in over their heads. Which...was not a good combination, considering they weren't disciplined enough early on and then were disciplined too much later. Though it does mean that I've learned from my parents' mistakes; I have no intention of waiting to start disciplining my own kids, when I have them. Start them when they're young and be consistent; it's the same as training a dog, in some ways. Dogs and kids are so much easier to train/raise when they're little, as opposed to when they're more grown up. And usually this needs to start about the time the teething starts, I think - maybe a little later, but no more than a few months or so. At least, in my opinion. (And I'm pretty opinionated about it; sorry if this offends anyone.) My dad didn't believe in corporal punishment either; he'd just yell and snarl at any kid he caught doing something wrong. Worked on my sister because the man can sure verbally tear people apart with tone alone, but I lived with him and after I'd gotten used to it...well, all it did then was put my ears back and make me mad because he was being too loud. Also I saw him get mad for the wrong reasons fairly often, and that stirred my inborn protective side, so I learned that sometimes he needed to be brought up short by someone yelling right back in his face as to why he was being stupid. (I guilt tripped the hell out of him one time - and one of my grandpas.... My dad used to stuff his anger down and never let it out, so when he finally lost his temper it was explosive. Well, one time he exploded 'cause my grandpa accidentally knocked a portion of the fence over trying to back an RV into our yard - when the gate was only just barely wide enough for the RV to get through at all - and he and my grandpa, who didn't like each other because my grandpa was my dad's step dad and they had a lot of disagreements, well, they got into a fist fight in the driveway. *rolls eyes* My grandma and I tried to break them apart but they were two stubborn, angry guys determined to have at each other and they literally stepped on our toes as we tried to intervene. Didn't matter much to me - I was a sturdy little thing. But my grandma gets really painful corns on her toes, and ingrown nails, and so her feet are really painful anyway. And they stepped on them. So I had to help her into the RV so she could sit and rub her poor feet - and I excused myself and went back outside to be the manipulative little bitch I had to be. I yelled at them for being uncaring and stepping all over Grandma's feet, called them names that at any other point I'd have gotten in trouble for, and said that they were lucky the one person who'd driven by hadn't bothered to call the cops since they were fighting in plain sight of the public. All in all, I must say that I succeeded in stopping that fight very well; they came limping into the RV less than five minutes later, all contrite, and apologized before nursing their wounds.) The family they see also make a difference as to how the kids should best be disciplined, though - I've seen evidence of this quite often. Part of the reason my dad's voice was effective as often as it was...is because he can go from a normal tone straight to drill sergeant mode. So loud and mean he'll make you jump - especially if he's behind you! - and between the loudness, the snarl in his tone, and his words themselves, the very least it ever did was pin someone's ears back. Usually it made people cringe, adults or children. This must apparently be a family trait, since my grandpa and I have it too. But yelling didn't work on me because I was around people who yelled too much; usually it only made me mad, even if I admitted that I deserved it. Spanking once I would tolerate, because hey, I figured I probably deserved that, but any more than one made me struggle and fight back, and oh man was I a little scrapper. Nobody could hold me if I wanted free badly enough, and if I'd kicked up enough of a fuss, probably my dog would have busted a window to come in and save me, so when that happened I was usually let go at once. One of the benefits of having a really good dog, especially if you leave your kid with babysitters. Of course, I was well behaved enough that my dad could leave me at home for hours and I'd just hang out with the dogs, watch TV, play with toys...climb around in the storage/guest room, which was a disaster area, but he didn't know about that and anyway that was only when I got really bored of everything else.... The discipline method I had the hardest time tolerating was my grandma's: sending me to a corner. She'd leave me there for at least half an hour, and sometimes she forgot I was there, because she ran a daycare. (Come to think of it, she's another reason yelling didn't work well with me. She got snarly at anyone who woke her up from her naps, would yell and be mean - and then come back later and apologize, because the only kids who woke her up from naps were my sister and me, and we didn't care since she'd always apologize. If she hadn't, we'd have eventually stopped waking her up. I remember one of her friends was about to get on a plane and wanted to talk to her, so I said I'd go wake her up. She'd yell at me, but I'd go wake her up. The guy sounded concerned and said that if I didn't that was okay, too, he'd just call her later. I told him, "I don't mind; she'll yell and be grumpy now but she'll come say sorry later, so it's really up to you. Do you want to talk to her now?" He said yes, she yelled at me but took the phone, and later on she came back and said sorry and that she was glad I'd woken her up. It just further emphasized that hey, it was okay to ignore people yelling at you. So much for yelling as discipline.) In the end, the two methods that worked on me best were disappointment and that one swat. I seriously adore my grandpa because he holds true to these methods with every kid he deals with. Probably because when he and my grandma were together, they had a ton of foster kids - and neighbor kids that might as well have been foster kids. Not to mention he's been married (and divorced) three times, though never once was that over the kids. He's a very fair person - gives everyone a chance. Though woe for you if you overstep yourself around him; he's got a way with making sure lessons stick, to kids and especially to adults. I watched him nearly make a bank teller cry because the man had been rude to him throughout the transaction. Didn't even have to raise his voice, just was stern and laid out the whys and hows of what he thought should have happened. (I sat a ways behind my grandpa, waiting, and kept having to look away and bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud. That might've made the teller cry for real, and I didn't think he deserved to be that publicly humiliated; he'd already suffered a very pointed dressing down, and my grandpa had been a tad cruel for all his polite manners because he really has no respect for rude people.) Anyway, between my dad's habit of yelling at me every time I got in trouble and my own ADHD, I've never been good at learning lessons from lectures. My parents never grounded me (except my dad after he got together with his current wife) from anything because that wasn't how my side of the family did things. Partly because I was a fairly quiet child, even if not necessarily always calm, but also because I was one of those really intelligent kids you could explain something to once and you wouldn't have a problem with after. Once my dad got together with the hag his wife, they started the whole thing of grounding me - not to my room at first, because I had to share it - from seeing my dog, from reading, from visiting friends, from sleepovers. They never gave me extra chores (which would have been a better method with me than grounding was, because did I ever loathe them for grounding me from the things, people and pets I cared about) and I'm not sure why. Of course, probably part of the reason the grounding didn't work so well was because the hag that woman and I never did have anything resembling a good relationship and she was the one who most often handed out the punishments - in hindsight, it's a good thing she didn't try to spank me, because I'd have punched and kicked her and then found a way to get to my mom's and let her have at the woman, and the result wouldn't have been pretty. I'd have been okay with her handing out extra chores - she paid most of the bills at that point; my step dad handed out chores too, even though mostly he let my mom handle me. But the grounding - with no one else in my family grounding me, she'd have been better off if she'd taken a page from my grandma's book and told me to sit down and think about what I'd done. The only thing grounding did was piss me off. And, okay, so I never would've been close to my dad's wife anyway, because we have almost nothing in common and have only laughed at the same things three times (and I've known her since I was in second grade, and that's more than fifteen years ago now). But if she'd taken into consideration that my family just didn't use grounding as a punishment on me, ever, we might at least have been civil and learned how to live in the same house without having spats at least twice a week. Of course, it would also have helped if I'd had more than 24 hours notice that I was suddenly going to be living with four people I didn't know - and sharing a room with two of them. But that one's on my dad entirely. ...now that I've wandered off topic and all over the methods of discipline (and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that), back on topic. Probably if there was an It Depends option, I'd have clicked that too. Mostly because spanking can so easily be turned into abuse. (There are reasons I'm an outspoken advocate of the one swat properly applied method. If it's meant to startle the child instead of hurt them, that one swat is plenty. Make it sound loud but not do more than sting - that's when it's most effective when they're toddlers and for the next few years after. And you can always test it on yourself to make sure; if it leaves a red mark on your skin, especially for more than thirty seconds to a minute, it's too hard for a child. Simple enough.) But I've also had the experience of the hag my dad's wife trying to mentally abuse me for almost nine years, and because of that - and because I've never been in danger of being physically abused, due to my family's protective tendencies - I'm of the opinion that mental abuse is in a lot of ways worse than phsyical abuse, in part because it can continue well after the child grows old enough to defend themselves. Certainly if I hadn't already been of a strong, sound mind (and had a support net consisting of the rest of my family and my friends), my dad's wife could well have succeeded in making me an obedient, adoring puppet like her kids were before my dad came along and freed them from mommy's apron strings. And my dad didn't have an easy time with them, either; he had to push them to try things, to be independent, and to believe in themselves. He and my step brother still don't get along because his methods were so harsh sometimes. (Whereas the methods he and his wife tried on me included reverse psychology and stupid things like stealing my stuff and then lying to me about it "to teach that lying can hurt the person you're lying to".... I lost all respect for them after that one. Particularly because I'd never stolen from them, so what was the sense in them stealing from me? ...I ranted about that one to everyone I talked to for some time, and every single one of them questioned the intelligence of the 'adults' involved.) Essentially, from what I've seen, heard of from family and friends, and experienced, the methods that work best are the one swat and disappointment. Little kids in particular live to please - they want people they care about to be happy. It's so easy to teach a little kid how to be a decent person, and if you do it when they're that young, even if the teenagers act up, they'll tell you about it. Hell, I went out for a summer weekend to camp and drink with a cousin and some friends, and I kid you not, when I asked my mom if I could go and said there'd be alcohol, she said sure and actually encouraged me to go spend time with that cousin more often - and she's not the kind of parent to encourage her kids to drink. But she knew that if I was with him, either I'd look out for my cousin or he'd look after me. And my dad, from the time I hit about thirteen, flat told me (and each of my step siblings) that if I wanted to try drinking, try alcohol, all I had to do was ask and he'd let us, in the privacy of the house. Because at least if we were home, he could keep an eye on us and make sure things didn't get out of hand. (I never took him up on this offer, but one time he was grilling and spilled his beer and the older dog, Koda, lapped it up and got tipsy. Ever seen a tipsy Aussie? The female, Mokkie, kept trying to figure out if he was okay and barking at us that something was wrong. I 'bout died laughing.)

"I'll Go Crazy" by Andy Griggs

On account of my paranoid family background and my own personal tendency toward wariness, I would suggest mace and a taser. Just in case. I've heard of too many close calls involving people I care about; no need for anyone else to have to learn the hard way.

I can see your point, Raymy. I don't entirely agree with it, but I can at least understand where you're coming from. And the reason I don't agree with you is probably because I grew up with a variety of different discipline methods (Grandma sent me to the corner, Grandpa warned once and then swatted once, Dad yelled, Mom overreacted, and the other adults I consider adopted parents sometimes had the same overreactions and yelling and...) and I know what worked best with me and why. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that a lack of spanking will fail with every child. But what made me a teenager who didn't go around behind my parents' backs (well, at least my mom and step dad, since my dad's wife has him blind and irrational where I'm concerned, or at least did until very, very recently).... What made me the self-responsible, caring, open teenager I was, was a combination of factors. The points meaning, in short, that I was raised to: Never judge people - though I'm not perfect and this means that the other half of this is: without due cause to myself or someone I know personally. Never try to live another person's life; it's theirs and such behavior only stirs resentment. People don't listen well to orders, so try advice, suggestions and requests. Only lay down the law when you absolutely need to. One swat properly applied is all it takes. Start it when the kid starts figuring out not only what no means but why no is being said, but until they fully understand the whys you have to warn the child first - preferably with a reason explaining why they're going to be in trouble. This reinforces the idea that the parents care and yet are still in charge. No matter what, if you're a parent, the kid. Comes. First. This rule is also true for pets, because if you're not going to be responsible for them you shouldn't have them. Honestly I've been in both situations and they. Drive. Me. Nuts. Personal experience has made this point and the next major pet peeves of mine, because my mom was always very clear with us about why she did things and trusts us implicitly to tell the truth if we're involved in anything other than sibling spats. My dad.... If he put me first when he wasn't single, it was never in a way I understood and he never tried to talk to me about it, and then trust...yeah right. I only wish he'd ever had the brains to trust me and the dog instead of taking the word of whatever woman he was with. Trust your child. If they say something about another person, kid or adult, to indicate that there's bullying or something shady going on, do not call the kid a liar, do not wave their concerns aside. Believe them if they give you a reason (not "This person's mean" but more like "This person scares me. I don't know why, but he/she scares me." "I don't like the looks this person gives me." Things like that). Give them the benefit of the doubt, innocent until proven guilty (exceptions being when their eyes or expressions or behavior show they've been up to mischief). If they're proven guilty, be firm but disappointed and explain why you're disappointed. They should know; it helps them remember that you care, even if you've just used that one swat. And when they're doing so good you stop having to swat them at all (usually between six and ten, in my personal experience), don't start spanking them again if they get in trouble. Be disappointed. Be hurt. Cut their allowance, their free time, their luxuries, give them extra chores, whatever you feel necessary as long as you're careful not to overreact. Always allow the option of earning these things back, give the child unconditional love but from the time they stop needing spanked, hold them responsible for their own choices. You see, my grandpa and my mom and step dad did that. They held me responsible. They were disappointed in me from time to time, they explained to me why my actions had made them feel hurt and disappointed...and I like to think I turned out pretty well, considering how messed up I could have been. Spend time with the kids, too. It doesn't matter how tired you are, they need that contact. If you fall asleep watching a movie with them, oh well. If you take them to their grandparents' house and spend half the time zonked out in a chair or on the couch because you're just that tired, that's fine. They can wake you up. Go camping with them, spend your day off at the amusement park - even ask them to dry and put up the dishes you wash, just to spend time with them. Do something with them that you know they like, spontaneously, just to make them smile. Take them for a drive just to see new scenery, take the dogs for a walk, play board games with them! Idle chatter, the little things - they matter. Even if you spank a child once in a while for misbehavior, if you spend time with your child and make it clear that you're interested, that you're trying, they will understand that you care and that even if you're making mistakes, you're trying because you love them, and they'll love you for it. Most likely forgive you, too, for all the mistakes you make. Kids are great like that. ...I feel like I got a bit off topic, but I was trying to respond to your (understandable, very reasonable) post, Raymy. And no, none of us are born knowing how best to raise kids. If we were, none of us would have these kinds of debates, and probably there would be a lot more people acting just the same. Boring. Maybe part of the reason why I can be so...standoffish?...and ignore my own anger/fear so well with kids (I was more of a mother to my brothers than my mom was, due to her after-rape trauma and subsequent guy problems) is because I come from a very protective, loving family that knows too much protection is a slow-strangling cage, so if I wanted to spread my wings, try something out, I had help and hands to catch me. But the other part is that - probably because I sat in on college psychology and social science classes while my dad got a degree in college, about the time I was 2-5 or thereabouts, and absorbed some of the lessons on a subconscious level - I am a very analytical person when it comes to emotions. I also believe in training pets the same way I believe in raising children, because I grew up with a dog and a cat so smart and with such a loving heart that I just can't see pets in any other way. (The cat lived with my grandparents because the dog would have killed him, but they were only about four blocks away; I was allowed to walk that far as long as the grandparents knew I was coming.) The difference in how I discipline dogs/cats versus kids is that kids I'll swat. Dogs I rap once on the nose with two fingers, never more. And cats - my mom ought to be called the cat whisperer; she swears by tapping them once between the eyes as you tell them no. Considering she had a cat who was trained to clean his paws before he came inside, I'll stick with her method. So, as you can see, I feel that phsyical discipline - in moderation - goes a long way and has no detrimental effects. Certainly I have none from my grandpa's spankings when I was younger, and I don't remember my mom or step dad ever spanking me, though I'm sure at some point they did. But if they did, it was before I was five. Having younger twin brothers made me somewhat precocious; I matured way fast, even for my family.

Agreed. He does rather have a sub mentality throughout the story. Anything to please/help. Though certainly it's most obvious with Ichigo. I did. Yes, I had to have Shuuhei/Starrk. How could I not? Though the Byakuya/Kisuke and the Shinji/Starrk have had no few people down with the giggles. Love Psycho cracked up thinking of how Rukia'd react when Renji told her (because he can't keep his mouth shut around her) and then the Shinji/Starrk...*shakes head* I still say it's pure crack. I don't even know where it came from. Its only redeemable features are being in character and making people laugh. *shakes head fondly* I was a little put off by Kisuke until the point Don Kan'onji came in. Then I decided to despise Kan'onji and took another look at Kisuke's sense of humor - and from there I didn't stand a chance. And...I think for the time being, I'm going to try for an in-canon story for the Renji/Kisuke. Cross your fingers and harrass my muse, please!

I could help for either/or, if you're still looking.... No promises on speed, because I've got about fifteen other things I'm working on at the moment - though some of those are currently on back burners and can be delayed if necessary. Frankly I think it would be fun to write/co-write one of each, just for the compare/contrast fun. Or darkness. Or whatever. (I'm bipolar; often I find myself switching between fits of extreme amusement and dark moods - or dark/morbid humor and pranks. Is quite fun, and yes, my grammar is strange sometimes. Slang-speak is fun. Though I like to think myself capable of correct grammar as well.)

I would also be willing to co-write, though I don't have a lot of time lately. But if you'd like - and Merula Aeolus is willing - we could always make this a three-way collaboration. My email is wolf.kin.flight@gmail.com if you're still looking and/or interested.

"Closer" as sang by Nine Inch Nails

Hm.... If you're still taking on people (I beta for some people as well, so I know that everyone has a limit on how much they can take on at any one time), I do have a few things I could send your way. One unposted original story, which I intend to be a novel when finished. Mostly I want to know an editor's/beta's opinion on the characters, the world, etc. So far I'm on the sixth chapter of it. I do have a friend who reads it and tells me what she thinks (and if I'm missing things, sometimes, like forgetting that there was a character in a previous scene that seems to have vanished without explanation!) but she's French and still working on her English skills, so she's more pre-reader than beta, y'know? Anyway, I've been playing around with this world in my head for years and have a vague outline with some scenes planned out, but the outline covers so many characters' lives that I know it's not all going to fit in one book, so I'm having to parse through things and figure out what goes and what stays for the particular characters I'm primarily working with. It's...difficult. And I've almost never put the ideas down in words, typed or handwritten, so dragging details from my head makes the process more time-consuming and difficult. (So, if you have time...help? Perhaps?) Hm...I have several posted/unposted/unfinished works that I would like feedback on, maybe someone to play sounding board with so I can finish them.... For a variety of categories: Bleach, Final Fantasy VII, Black Blood Brothers.... One in Naruto.... Um...I think that's all, but I could be wrong. Anyway, I wouldn't send more than two or three at a time in any case, because I want to get them finished, but first I have to know if you have the time and interest to handle them. (For the Bleach and Final Fantasy VII categories, I do have stories posted here on AFF. The first two chapters of my Black Blood Brothers story are on FFnet under the same username, Cuzosu - I keep the same username here on AFF, on FFnet, and on AO3 because it makes it easier for fans to find my works - though the fic makes much more sense if you've taken the time to watch the twelve-episode series. And maybe read the manga continuation, but that's not strictly necessary.) I'm sorry for your loss but glad you're getting past the numbness that often accompanies such sorrows (it sounds so trite, no matter how I phrase it).

Yes. Though, like I said previously, some kids don't learn without the physical aspect of discipline. I know most of my family wouldn't be near as good as we are if there hadn't been a swat or two from people who knew how to use them in moderation. Although my dad has an explosive temper (no, he's never raised a hand to a kid in anger that I'm aware of, and if he did with anyone it probably would have been me or my sister) and could cow almost anyone with his voice alone, so when we were in trouble he just yelled and got really loud toward us. This did not particularly teach me to behave. It taught me to sneak and be a canny little seemingly innocent brat, because living with him and seeing him get mad over things he shouldn't have...well, let's just say that I learned how to snap and snarl right back at him when I felt he was in the wrong. If he'd spanked me instead, maybe I wouldn't have been so bold, but.... Anyway, I was a much more obedient, well-behaved child around my grandpa, who follows the one swat properly applied rule almost religiously. (I have never seen anyone follow it as well as he does. It inspired me. Not only to obedience, but also to the point where, when I have kids, I am going to follow it just as well, with either gender of child, because I've seen it work right. And, okay, in part because I think it could have been used on my younger twin brothers to good effect if only my mom and step dad had started with it when they were young enough. When they did start, it was too late and they wound up going overboard. Now they're disrespectful moronic teenagers who ought to have been kicked out when they finished their senior year in high school. And by disrespectful I mean that their behavior is something anyone else I know would have been booted to the curb for immediately. Including me.)