Sinfulwolf

I’m not sure if it would have been Neutral Female only because Kevin and Abdul are clearly very out of their depths. However I think this also went to show how strong an Arch Angel can actually be.

Well, you’ve done well with the PTSD stuff, at least from my experiences with it. 
And heh, that’ll happen. The update to dialogue does make sense in the context, and it makes a lot more sense knowing it’s not supposed to last for even an overly long time, though I would have accepted a “You’ll find out next chapter”.

Another review...  These shelves are shining lately...  <looks at review shelves; eyes boil from sockets> So shiny!
First, something I forgot to do, a shout out @Sinfulwolf.  Sinful's been very helpful in terms and statements, not to mention actions and structure, throughout Last Full Measure.  So, I thank you greatly and appreciate your help and continued assistance with terminology far more than I can say.
Second, another from @InBrightestDay on Last Full Measure.
From InBrightestDay on February 06, 2019
 
Aaand I'm back!
So we learn a lot in this chapter.  First, with Sam's arrival, that everyone's exes will be in this squad for maximum awkwardness.  Second...
I need to watch Aliens again sometime.
Third, we start to see what's going on in Alpha Centauri, although thus far it's only teasing glimpses.  Nonetheless, I liked seeing it.  We have our characters, so now we get a hint of the coming story.
Finally, we learn some more about whatever happened on Mars.  It sounds like it's Celeste's fault (she stayed on duty in spite of her pregnancy, which may have led to the death of the unborn child during the attack), but Adara clearly blames herself for part of it, and I'm curious to learn what that is.  Adara's actually somewhat more sympathetic in this chapter.  This doesn't undo her infidelity, but it does hint at a level of depth to the character.
The introduction of Major Hamilton did raise a question.  Thus far, every member of this squad that we've met has been female, save for Hamilton, who is in command.  In an earlier chapter, Celeste mentioned that back on Mars, her commanding officer was also a man.  Is the military in this setting set up so that the enlisted are all female and the officers are male, or is this team just set up that way?
 
Aaand I'm back!
So we learn a lot in this chapter.  First, with Sam's arrival, that everyone's exes will be in this squad for maximum awkwardness.
First, welcome back. 
Ah, yes, the resident unit incest (thanks, Sinful, not getting that term out of my head now...  lol).  There are plenty of threads here and I don't know if they'll all be covered, but...  As it progresses, there'll certainly be some awkwardness coming.
Second...
I need to watch Aliens again sometime.
Do it!  Lol.  As mentioned, there's definitely a few homages and lines from Aliens in here.  I love the movie and just had to.  And that line from the movie always got me to snicker.  Lol.
Third, we start to see what's going on in Alpha Centauri, although thus far it's only teasing glimpses.  Nonetheless, I liked seeing it.  We have our characters, so now we get a hint of the coming story.
I wasn't sure how well the distress call would work, so I'm glad you liked it.  I definitely love building up the suspense and a little bit of unnerving.  Not seeing what's going on was part of that plan and definite don't want people to know too much.  Lol.
Finally, we learn some more about whatever happened on Mars.  It sounds like it's Celeste's fault (she stayed on duty in spite of her pregnancy, which may have led to the death of the unborn child during the attack), but Adara clearly blames herself for part of it, and I'm curious to learn what that is.  Adara's actually somewhat more sympathetic in this chapter.  This doesn't undo her infidelity, but it does hint at a level of depth to the character.
By far, there's enough blame to go around multiple people for Celeste's miscarriage.  So, the blame isn't squarely hers, though she bears a large part of it.  I actually rewrote much of the last part of the chapter so to create a depth to Adara.  She's not a great person, and she admits it, but she does harbour a lot of guilt for multiple things; her cheating on Celeste (And everyone can have their own opinions on whether Adara did cheat on Celeste with Alexander or if she was telling the truth), her leaving Celeste, and the miscarriage  (although the reasons for that will come out as time goes along).  I'm glad my rewrites did add some character to Adara that doesn't make her just a bitch…
The introduction of Major Hamilton did raise a question.  Thus far, every member of this squad that we've met has been female, save for Hamilton, who is in command.  In an earlier chapter, Celeste mentioned that back on Mars, her commanding officer was also a man.  Is the military in this setting set up so that the enlisted are all female and the officers are male, or is this team just set up that way?
This is probably a fault of the author  (...which makes it my fault...)...  That wasn't the intention to have that implied.  (Originally Adara's LT was Alexandra, but I realized that that was flooding the story...).  Indeed, there are a few minor characters to be introed in who are male and enlisted/noncoms, so I guess I should have elaborated a little more in that regard.  (And, yeah, her COs on Mars...  They weren't the brightest...  To quote @BronxWench in reviews for Christmas "I found myself wondering exactly who the Captain and Lieutenant paid off to get their positions, because they certainly didn't end up in command based on merit.").  
Thank you, InBrightestDay, for your review.  As always, it is much appreciated and always a pleasure to receive.
 

Ahhh, fair enough. That makes sense too. Well, I’m glad to see a happier ending coming out of it, even if they journey won’t be easy (I don’t think it should be either, considering).

A new review for Blood and Lace, and it’s a thick one: 
Firstly thank you much for the review. Especially such a long one, and never need to apologize for reading, and especially not for leaving feedback. 
First, I’m glad that Kris and Sam’s relationship seems good, and their dialogue natural.  Dialogue is certainly an area I have some doubts in my abilities, especially in making it sound natural. As you noted that some of it seemed just a bit stinted. I think I may have been having an issue with trying too hard to push forward what I needed to happen next instead of letting these two breathe just a bit more and help really nail down how they feel about each other. Certainly something to work on in the future. Would certainly like to discuss what you felt was stinted.
As to Sam looking things up, I thought that would be an interesting way to kill two birds with one stone. A) A little bit of exposition, but also B) Show Sam’s willingness to invest in the relationship, despite not having signed up for demonic corruption.
Moving on to Mia’s scene well… hard to give much away about what’s going on in her mind without spoiling anything. Looking back there’s certainly some roads I could have pushed down instead of what I did. But we shall see how it turns out no? Glad you liked the shadowy creatures. There is certainly more to come. No answers to them for now. 
I did try to make the scene hot and disturbing at once. There’s a few times I gun for that.
Rasha… at this point in the story Rasha’s personal tale is turning out to be a bit of tragedy. The spiral keep’s descending.
Derek, well… same replies. Thank ye kindly. As to what he’s calling for. You’ll see.
 
 
 

Bit behind. Got a few reviews from TCR on Blood and Lace.
“They” actually refers to the government. Certainly should have been more specific there. I was kind of going for that ambiguous ‘they’ that people use when talking about government organizations. Glad ye liked the description though.
Aye, there should be. Though I don’t think italics are needed. That’s certainly a style thing.
Too many “thoughs” I think is the biggest issue. Missed that one.
Yeah, I fucked up with Your/You’re. The comma though I don’t think is needed. Comma’s generally mean a pause in dialogue. Didn’t want one. Yeah, used Courtney too often here. But, if you’ve not noticed, I tend to put a fair bit in after a dialogue tag. That’s the way I write, and that’s starting to really get into “proper” and “science vs. art” of writing. 
Glad ye liked the sex though, and how the scene closed out. Though, I won’t tell on what yer reading into it.
I really wanted to show the aftermath of the train, and that scene was just too cool in my head not to include. And it could be that, or it could be she’s just doing better getting away from her now ex. 
Holy fuck is that line awkward. But, yeah Rasha is really delivering on the T&A aspect, mostly.
Yep, thin.
Why thank you. There are aspects that certainly I wanted to be brutal.
Yeah, I focused more on the interactions here. I didn’t want to go into too much depth here though. It was mostly just to get these two back together and show how they get on. Didn’t want to play with much of their abilities cause then I can’t slowly unveil them through the following chapters.

Another from @Tcr
Thank ye. Always like to make a good impression with the chapter opening. Though, I certainly should have done more to show that the roof was leaking. A bit of confusion like that can certainly take people out of it. Though, not much happened in the room the night previously. I have gotten to the point that sometimes I just allude to the sex rather than showing, mostly because there’d  be too many sex scenes, and not enough driving of the plot. I know this is a smutty story but it’s still a story first. In hindsight I think I could have done more with Kris’s realization.
Eh, parts I wanted to sound somewhat awkward. A little less super hot and more stumbly. How well I succeeded, I dunno. Though at the end of the day, most of the scene should be sexy. And I’m glad it was.
I’ll watch the commas, but I’ll keep sticking away from italics. It kind of hampers my style of perspective.
I really liked that scene, was fun to write. Glad you enjoyed it.
I have my moments certainly, lol.
I did like how that turned out. Though, I think the biggest change for Mia is being back in a sort of comfort zone, and away from her ex. She’s got a task to focus on now, instead of being left to wallow.
Rasha is the most difficult to write, mostly due to the addictions she’s bringing upon herself. It does feed into lust being more than sex, but it’s also her human element, trying to deal with what she’s seen and done while in Hell. Burying it all in substance abuse. But I did really want to play with the sins, and what else could come from them. I play with the other 6 later on in the story a bit.
You’ll have to read on and see
The Derek scenes here are shorter mostly because he gets some screen time already with Kris. This scene was really just to help set up some later shit. Though, him being the weakest in your eyes, perhaps I’ll have to tinker and play with him a bit. Give some more meat to them bones. 
I shall do what I can, but thank you for the reviews. And long ones I do enjoy.

The next review from @Tcr on Blood and Lace
I felt it was important to set that stage. Helps ground the narrative, especially when we’re dealing with demons and the like. So glad it worked out.
I spaced those out to get a good pause in there. I play these scenes in my head, much like a movie, so I write to get the effects I really want. I purposely wanted to disrupt the flow a bit here.
The Crime Scene was fun. This is where the more horror like elements of the story really start creeping in after the coroner scene. I wanted this to really set in “Not a typical porn story”. As to the implications and what might be running about… read on and see.
I tend to be pretty stubborn with stylistic stuff. That be me.
I do need to bring Sam into the picture more. I have this character that I barely use, because it doesn’t fit. We’ll see what I come up with in the future for her.
The protesters are a big part of the world. Helps ground it, because most people would not be happy with the state of affairs. But it also lets me set up future plot threads. Glad you liked the conversations, and Felrya’s description. She’s a big player after all.
I used to be bad for using too many commas. Perhaps I’m overcompensating now. Ah wells.
The Preacher. He’s fun. I like him muchly. As to what he is, you’ll see.
Rasha I felt was the most important to get sympathetic. It’s too easy to shrug off people who are addicts, and that is what she most certainly is. So I had to show a struggle, a reason, and always keep pushing her further down that spiral. As for a turn around. We’ll see.
Derek I like playing up some Cop Drama tropes with. He is military police after all. You are right in that him not being more changed, more advanced in his transformation, is why the spell works so easily on him. The role reversal though was more a side effect of how I’ve been going through the story. Perhaps more at the end would have been good, but again, I didn’t want to cram too many sex scenes in.
Thank you again for the reviews.

Final review of my backlog. Once more from @Tcr on Blood and Lace
I have been trying to imply feeding off the energy of demons or those with demonic taint, is what’s pushing the transformation along. What Alison’s involvement may have had, that’s for the reader to consider. But it wasn’t Alison herself that fucked Derek, it was Sydxun’s presence in the basement. 
The wife has been pointing out to me that the transformations have been getting a touch stale. So, trying to make them a bit more dramatic. A bit more of a push towards the final stage of it all. Perhaps I should do more from the PoV of someone changing, but it’s mostly a physical thing. We all know how Kris feels about the changes already. This I will state though, once they change, it’s permanent. I didn’t want them shape shifting or anything. As to what that means for Kris and Sam well… we’ll see how into demons Sam is.
Heh. I had to put little things like that in there. Little bit of Canuck humour for Canuck readers. But also play a little bit with the differences between them and their nationalities. 
I really thought about Aliens when writing this scene. A little bit of suspense with the action, further pushing the story to Erotic Horror instead of just smut. I like to think I can write some decent action set pieces.
Mia has become a great tool for story and world building with her involvement with the Succubus Consul. And the Consul herself lets me do some good world building and give little glimpses to what Hell is like in this particular setting. I mean, that’s the other world. That’s the place that’s been done so many times over. I gotta try and make it somewhat interesting to the reader. And how it works as well with the devil’s and sins.
So, it worked to have Felrya explain some stuff to Mia, and to have Mia broaden her current understandings, as they weren’t entirely correct before.
The training regimen… that’s pretty much exactly what it is. Though, Felrya does enjoy doing it as well. Lo and behold. Glad you think the scene overall is hot though.
And those particular lines. I didn’t want my demons to be necessarily ‘evil’  but I can’t have them be goody two shoes either. They do come from Hell after all. But I thought it was a good place to make some points about current governments and leaders. Humans certainly are far from perfect. As to those historical figures… who knows. I may get around to toying with the occupents of Hell a bit more in the future.
Rasha is certainly meant to be the tragic one. The fallen one, and perhaps more so when we eventually get to backstories and the like. For the time being, we get to see her fall deeper and deeper. Manipulated to thinking she’s doing things of her own free will. But we know everything is for that next fix. That next high. The next hit. Whether she’ll pull back. even I’m not entirely sure anymore. 
The lord, well… you’ll see.
I really wanted to start this off with as much normalicy as I could. Every little drop of it before things go a bit wacko. I think I succeeded, and it’s why I went with characters outside the main cast. The main cast is well outside of normal anymore. So I brought it some good ol humans to sell the normalicy. It also really sets up Alison for what she is, and some of her abilities, and the strengths of her master. 
The spell though was broken because of Kris, and even Kris doesn’t entirely know how she did it.
The Mary Sue thing is actually something I’m usually not too concerned about. Kris may be the most badass, but she’s not the best at everything. And she’s still learning. If I was better at writing investigations, this would shine through a bit better. But thanks for the review, and very glad yer enjoying.

Flatterer.

Ahhh, fair enough. That makes sense too. Well, I’m glad to see a happier ending coming out of it, even if they journey won’t be easy (I don’t think it should be either, considering).

I didn’t mind the torture stuff, I just started viewing it as a horror, and I quite enjoy the story. Considering some of the shit I’ve put in my own writing, can’t get pouty when others do the same stuff. And I have already started ‘The Woman in the Statue’. It’s pretty cool seeing the continuation of your story.
Certainly happens. I guess in the end, I felt it didn’t go well with the set up of ultimate badass. But, something needed to happen for the story to go. 
I didn’t have a problem with the outfit per se. I’ve come across a lot of different settings where the angels wear very little. I think it just felt contradictory with the line about avoiding lusts. Whereas had she just been wearing the stuff, it might not have stood out to me so much.
And no problem. It was a good read.

Heh, tropes are there cause they work right? Sometimes dancing along trope lines works, because not using them just doesn’t make sense. And I get the form of therapy, I often write to vent and get all the shit out onto the page. Certainly helps.
When it comes to the assault team, don’t worry, I full well knew they were the Tactical Unit for the PPD from the introduction in the office. I am, fairly familiar with how organizations like this operate. Which is why I initially raised an eyebrow to the charging in method. But, it makes sense in this case, considering precedent. 
Guess I’m just tired of having these groups always painted as the villain as a whole. It seems, cheap.
As to the range thing. Heh, fair nuff. 
Looking forward to Part 3. I do believe, from what I’ve seen, that I will enjoy what continues to come out.

Heh, tropes are there cause they work right? Sometimes dancing along trope lines works, because not using them just doesn’t make sense. And I get the form of therapy, I often write to vent and get all the shit out onto the page. Certainly helps.
When it comes to the assault team, don’t worry, I full well knew they were the Tactical Unit for the PPD from the introduction in the office. I am, fairly familiar with how organizations like this operate. Which is why I initially raised an eyebrow to the charging in method. But, it makes sense in this case, considering precedent. 
Guess I’m just tired of having these groups always painted as the villain as a whole. It seems, cheap.
As to the range thing. Heh, fair nuff. 
Looking forward to Part 3. I do believe, from what I’ve seen, that I will enjoy what continues to come out.

Satan!

Satan!

Thank you very much for the review (almost wrote reveal for some reason… brain still awakening it seems)
But, since this story was so firmly from Varia’s point of view, I thought some of the descriptions and such would be a sleek way to world build a bit too. It being fantasy, I’m on the back foot for making the world feel real and lived in, so I do all I can to get that sensation for the characters and setting. Sometimes it works, as it seemingly did this time. Thank you again.
Also, I do love my FF sex scenes. As that was the meat of it all, glad it was hot.

More that I resurfaced here later than Christmas last year. I have it posted elsewhere as well.

Well… now I’m posting a story I wrote last year.

Author: Sinfulwolf
Title: A B&L Christmas: Krampus Delights of Pain
Summary: Lea has found herself on the naughty list. But with the portal to Hell opened, there is more than jokes and coal as consequence. A visit from the Krampus will show her the depths of her own lust, and a thrill for the ecstasy of pain.
Feedback: Always welcome. Constructive criticism and discussion helps to improve.
Fandom: Original Fantasy
Pairing: N/A  
Warnings: Anal BDSM Bond CR Cuck Dom Ds MF OC SandM Spank Tort Toys Violence
Solo story or chaptered story:  Solo
URL: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109200

Well… now I’m posting a story I wrote last year.

Thank you very much for the review (almost wrote reveal for some reason… brain still awakening it seems)
But, since this story was so firmly from Varia’s point of view, I thought some of the descriptions and such would be a sleek way to world build a bit too. It being fantasy, I’m on the back foot for making the world feel real and lived in, so I do all I can to get that sensation for the characters and setting. Sometimes it works, as it seemingly did this time. Thank you again.
Also, I do love my FF sex scenes. As that was the meat of it all, glad it was hot.

A quick skim was all that was needed to get it, so not too bad.

Hmmm, that’s definitely something to keep in mind. I certainlly wanted there to be connections to the Halloween story, but I did mostly want this one to stand on its own. May have been a bit heavy handed with the connecting threads. As to the fade to black, heh, sorry about that. I think my thought process was I wanted to cut the scene while it was still good and sexy, and before I started to just get a bit repetitive.
Thank you for the review!

I find I get a little bit more done around now because I get time off from work. Sure there’s all the holiday prep that’s gotta happen, but without the work portion it’s fairly low key.