pippychick

That whole thing really made me smile, showing how much these two care about each other, and the part where Nina almost cried because of how happy she was almost made me tear up a little. Of course, there is the inevitable coming back to reality, on two fronts. First, the future of this relationship is rather uncertain due to the age difference. Second, Ray did come inside her, which is going to be an absolute nightmare if she gets pregnant at fourteen. Still and all, this was a really sweet chapter. I did kind of tilt my head at one thing. Nina's house is way out in the middle of nowhere, and she says that it has no phone reception (and presumably no landline). That seems really dangerous if there's a medical emergency. I've never been to Australia, mind you, so for all I know this is a common thing out in the country and it doesn't really cause any problems. It just kind of caught my attention while reading. On a final note, you've officially done it. I felt disappointed when the "this is just sex" reality check came up, meaning that yes, I am rooting for this couple now. Looking forward to the next chapter! Thank you @InBrightestDay I’m really glad this chapter worked, and that Nina’s feelings about it all came across so well. Yes, the potential for her getting pregnant is a worry, and both of them need to take that more seriously than they are right now. As to the isolation, I suspect the must be some way for Nina to contact the outside world, just as I’m equally sure she’s keeping the knowledge of how to do so all to herself, for her own purposes (kind of like how she didn’t tell Ray her mobile/cellphone only worked at school). I am glad you’re rooting for them. There is something quite deep going on here, even if neither of them realise it yet. Thank you again!

lol… I’ve only just realised how that sounds. Of course I meant I hope you will continue reading!

Although I will not have the honor of adult breasts impugned! They're magical things and I am not budging on that front. Anyway, I liked how awkward this is for both of them, and not just in the sense of Ray thinking about the fact that he's about to have sex with a fourteen year old. He’d understood that he was in too deep at this stage to care about whether she was 15, 14 or even 13. ...Goddamnit it, Ray. Anyway, what I was getting at is that he's honestly just kind of awkward around members of the opposite sex to begin with, which works to sort of complement Nina's awkwardness over her lack of sexual experience. So yeah, I'm now actually looking forward to how things go next chapter! And lastly… for now, hopefully… lol… I will not say a word about breasts, or we’ll be here all day. But they are kind of equal in being awkward, so I’m glad that comes across. Ray is extremely lonely, and he’s not having an easy time of it even without having a girl throw herself in his way... and Nina is so terribly curious. “Goddamnit Ray” made me laugh though. I hope you enjoy the rest Thank you so much!

That made me laugh. Truer words... Thank you for this one too! I’m glad that their communication made you feel better about them. Well, he has been worried about those consequences, so they’ve been at the front of his mind. Even though Melrick and I are really making him go there. He doesn’t mean to do any harm. Ah… Melrick made you laugh… (points)

FUNNY YOU SHOULD SAY THAT, RAY. Again, I am glad that Ray caught onto what he was doing and backed off, especially considering that this was moving far too fast for Nina there. Still, it's not a good sign when his self-control is that tenuous. It does make me wonder how we as readers are meant to see Ray's actions. The first chapter made him seem like a decent guy, but are we meant to see him that way, or as something for more disturbing? It's definitely something to think about. Anyway, I will be back for the next chapter. Hey again, and thank you! Well… I think she was more frightened of herself just then. She hasn’t been in any situation like this before, but she’s also very daring. It’s amazing how easy it is to get right out of your depth… lol. Silly Nina! But Ray is a good guy really. He’d never hurt her or deliberately scare her. He’s not thinking rationally at all right now.

Hey, @InBrightestDay and thank you so much! Thank you for reading, even if it is out of your comfort zone. I’m entirely responsible for Nina’s age, and it’s interesting to think back and imagine what she would be thinking and feeling. But we wanted to try and write about two characters first and foremost, so if you do stick with it, be prepared for this to go a lot deeper. As for Ray, he absolutely does realise, and I think ordinarily nothing would happen here. But this is fiction, so we are just having a little fun as the Gods of this world, and watching what unfolds, so I’m really happy that it seems to be just happening, rather than being forced. I hope you will root for Ray and Nina by the end. Together, they are more than their age difference

Thank you so much, @JayDee – I’m so glad you liked it. I’m glad you noticed the comparison of playing the instrument and the lover. They both do involve a kind of purposeful caress.

Thank you so much, Melrick I really love that piece of music and the character of the duet. I hope I wrote something to do it justice.

Hey @JayDee Thank you so much for this review, and I completely understand about the minor2, it’s why the tag is there. For me, it is kind of fun recalling my younger self so that Nina can borrow her for a bit (I was terrible). I’m glad the build up comes across well, nevertheless. @Melrick and I added the setting to the summary, because you gave us a reminder. I know I have so much catching up to do reading-wise (covers the ears of fate), and with any luck, this week could be my week, because I am really looking forward to it! I’m sorry I’ve been absent for such a long time now.

Ahh… JayDee, no. You made us realise we hadn’t mentioned it at all! Thank you

Just fantastic, from beginning to end. I loved it.

Thank you for this review too tcr! I think that if I rewrote this, I might try that very short beginning part without the use of pronouns at all, which would make it a smoother read. From what I remember, I was creating an entire mythos here, represented by Angel and Demon. I’m sorry I didn’t continue it in some ways, because they were good candidates. I’m glad it was hot…. that’s honestly the most important part. You’re very good to me, and kind with these reviews. Thank you

Thank you tcr! Wow… I have reminded someone of Stephen King. I have now reached the pinnacle of my powers, lol. Chuffed to bits about that, especially since I do love Thinner. It’s a great horror story. Aww… no dogs were hurt in the writing of this story. I’m glad that the relationship with Liz came through, and that you saw that echo in the beginning and the end. Thanks again!