InvidiaRed

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  1. Like
    InvidiaRed got a reaction from Wilde_Guess in Unattractive, but Redeemable Flaws   
    Contrasts also work great.
    If the world is pessimistic but the character is staunchly optimistic. Or in a world where everyone doubts themselves. That one character just straight up loves themselves. Humanity is so wonderfully diverse.
    having characters answer existential stuff can provide that blissful breath of life that makes your character far more real.
    A microcosm in an macrocosm.
    Do we shape existence as existence shapes us?
    Are we alone in the universe because we perceive ourselves to be alone in the universe?
    What if death is as limited as life?
    The question of I
    The ramifications of the meaning of life being different for everyone
    What if there is no glory in war?
    The massive implications of single individuals decisions helping shape history. 
    Why is apathy worse than death?
    Etc...
  2. Haha
    InvidiaRed reacted to Wilde_Guess in Clothing in Stories- Descriptions and Tastes   
    Hi, all.
    For what it’s worth, here’s what I’ve noticed, and what I try for.  “Background” people, the prose equivalent of extras in a movie or TV show, dress according to their station in life and the time in which you find them.  The degree to which you describe them goes up in their importance, whether as background scenery, or as they emerge to actually become characters.  So, “a teenager working the cash register at McDonalds” is background.  “The order taker at McDonalds seemed sad as he was working.  His company polo, while clean, was starting to fray around the edges of the sleeves, as was his composure.  But he still took my order without delay, or getting it wrong.” is starting to become a character.  “I picked Joe up at McDonalds as soon as his manager let him clock out.  He had a fresh company polo in his hands when he got into the car.  The company polo he was wearing was just as worn-out as he looked.  The disposable paper hat, which he normally threw away the second he clocked out, was still on his head.  His normally pale complexion was just that much whiter, and even his dark black pants were starting to gray.  His work sneakers were also starting to blow out.  Getting both outed and dumped by the boyfriend I told him he shouldn’t try dating was wearing on him far more than he was willing to admit.” has become a lead character, and is likely one you already introduced earlier.
    The way a person chooses and wears clothes can tell you about the character’s personality, or at least the personality you are having the character portray at the moment.  In real life, people do deliberately dress differently from how they usually would.  If your viewer understands this, then their normally jeans-and-tee shirt character showing up in a tuxedo. or the normally dapper and nearly overdressed all the time character showing up in worn out jeans also tells you about the character’s current mood.  Likewise, the choice and condition of their clothing directly describes their wealth and social standing.  “The twelve year old boy was wearing an untucked tee shirt that had been white, but was still clean  He had what appeared to be a pack of cigarettes rolled into his left sleeve and onto the top of his shoulder.  His jeans were faded and frayed, and about three inches shorter than what most boys his age wore.  He wore a black belt, but its color was more a memory than a fact.  His feet were bare as he walked briskly down the front steps of his house, grabbing a pair of work boots as he passed them.  I noticed that there were no socks in the boots, either.  He carried the boots by the laces and slung over his right shoulder as he walked past me, having some place he planned on getting to quickly yet without running in the early morning warmth.”
    The character’s choice of clothing, and how they wear it, can also help build the scene.  “She was wearing a gauzy peach-silk and lace mid-thigh length chemise, over red lace see-through panties.  The shoelace thickness shoulder straps stood out almost seductively against the skin of her shoulders.  Her finger and toe nails also sparkled with peach nail polish.  Her lipstick was a seductive dark red, and she wore only elegant traces of eyeliner.  Her thong type sandals were also light peach, with darker peach gauzy straps.  Her garments almost screamed passion and seduction.  However, there are some things a fifty-six year old woman with graying alopecia riddled stringy hair, general hygiene issues, and who weighed over five hundred pounds should never wear, particularly not to their mother’s funeral at the Baptist Church in a small Southern town.  And Chloe managed to easily check all the boxes.”
    Thanks.
  3. Like
    InvidiaRed got a reaction from Wilde_Guess in Clothing in Stories- Descriptions and Tastes   
    For example, Bob
    Bob is a necromancer.
    Fantasy- The man before you clutches a staff made of a spinal column, His robes are black and his jewelry all have bones or skulls he attended by two skeletons one of whom is carrying a silver platter and the other is infront of him protectively Urban Fantasy- This man is unaware of your arrival. His boots are covered in dirt as he toils adding components best left unmentioned as he repairs his skeletal motorcycle from the excavated coffins around him. A despondent moan issues from the coffins as one by one they all uprose. His focus is entirely on his task of repairing his damaged cycle. His chaps and thick black leather jackets makes you think he’s a biker or some sort. He stands up ramrod straight suddenly as his ruby necklace flashes and then he turns. The ruby holding within it a fiery baleful eye. “ You’’ll do nicely.” Cyberpunk- There was crashing on the door as broken servos whirled in futility. “I know you are in there!” You turned frightened as the dead monitors one by flicker on despite being cannibalized for parts. “Do not attempt to adjust your television” The man’s voice snarked. Dead pale hands plunge through the old monitor and clasp the edges of the screen and then something. No! someone came through. A seamless transition of digital to physical. Brilliant white tattoos thrummed with vigor as the man pulled himself free. His skeletal markings pulsing in-time with with your heartbeat. Old jeans ripped and torn expose more of those garishly white bone tattoos. His t-shirt barely showcasing some ancient vintage band “Don’t worry Corpo scum. I’m sure, I’ll find a use for you… One way or another.” Space Fantasy- “Oh thank god.” Came a tired but relieved voice. You stir softly as the cyrogel disperses and is absorbed back into the capsule. You take a moment to look around. This was not the world promised in the brochure. Your capsule slowly opens and the faint stench death assault your lungs. There is a nervous employee with a holographic badge proudly displaying ‘BOB’ With a smiling emoji. “Holy shit, you’re dead!” You gasp in astonishment. “Mostly dead, Also means slightly alive and with the forbidden art the difference in degrees is staunchly important!” You shiver at the corpse, because that’s exactly what he was. Half his face was torn completely off revealing smooth bone and a rictus grin. “Mom always was worried that the cyrogenics capsule wouldn’t work so she fret until I was competent enough to master death. That’s neither here nor there.Right now I need you to vacate to level three if you please!” You look around the generational ship that was deathly quiet. “Where is everyone?” The employee looked agitated. “Okay, brief version and you really need to get to level three. Something hit the ship, everyone on this level is dead except for you… and we’re not alone.” A corpse smashes into your capsule wetly.  Midwest/ Antebellum Fantasy- At first you were hesitant about the hired help. Yet, there they were skeletons dutifully holding out your corset, petticoats and even your hoopskirt. The moment you got out of bed and relieved yourself. They diligently helped you into your day clothes with nary a complaint. The dead maybe could be more useful than merely rotting inthe ground. There was a knock at the door and there was your favorite yank. Bob in his dark blues saber and revolver on his hip. You could feel death pulsing off the immaculately groomed pistol. “Time to go Miss!” WW2 – From the constant bombardment, the omnipresence of the artillery and the cries of the wounded and the dying. Winter had come and with it hell itself. They’d understand they all would. You just wanted to visit a random-city in Europe. You look at yourself in the mirror and try to ignore the haggard and haunted look upon your face. Your clothes shredded yet still somehow providing relief from the bitter chill. They all look at you with vacant eyes. You refused to die here… And they were all dead anyway. Just a few more days… Right? Then you could get rations again and then you could stop… You try to rub off the dead blood staining your lips, your cheeks. Tears streamed silently down your reflection and like scavenging wolves they scrambled to hug you. Your emerald ring throbbed and part of you wants to take it off. Death would be quick as you are torn apart yet you don’t. “Just a few more days. Bob!” The dead are not warm and there is no comfort. I look at fashion throughout the ages and try to mix and match. Sometimes it  doesn’t work but when it does *chef kiss*
  4. Haha
    InvidiaRed reacted to Desiderius Price in How do you know if people like your story?   
    I’m treating cousins as incest once removed by that statement.  Admit it’s been a few months so I don’t remember which scene I was referring to, as there were more than one.
  5. Like
    InvidiaRed reacted to BronxWench in How do you know if people like your story?   
    We just have the one, plus DG. Honestly, this site operates exceedingly well, considering the fact that we are a volunteer operation.
    Probably The Rise of the Drakens, (Dragon Prints : 752724) but honestly, there might be one or two with more hits.
  6. Like
    InvidiaRed reacted to Desiderius Price in How do you know if people like your story?   
    And your parents/family/friends who stumble across your story will also know that you liked them doing carnal fornication, with watersports and tentacles.
  7. Like
    InvidiaRed got a reaction from Bluebell in Movie suggestion to combine my ideas   
  8. Like
    InvidiaRed reacted to Desiderius Price in Looking for a character reaction   
    I think you need more characterization to this MC, because you shouldn’t be struggling like this.  However, lets divide & conquer. 
    Suppose HE wakes up first, and “pulls” out/away enough before she wakes so she won’t know it occurred – how does he react?  What does he say to her?  “Good morning?” and move on?  Confess?
    Switch it, suppose SHE wakes up first, and she could move away fast enough so he wouldn’t know it occurred.  How does she react? What does she say to him?  “You’re welcome?” or “How dare you?”
    What I do while shaping a character is I try to list out some personality traits, (hobbies/allergies) and this tends to give me something to start with.  You can also do the classic, “lawful/neutral/chaotic” and “good/neutral/evil” way of pinning the character.  Also, some history… has this happened before with the MC (& another girl), a spell that he might’ve said while drunk?  That’d come out more as…
    “Not again!” the wizard stammered.
    Now back to my research on life insurance terms & conditions (needed for my story, turns out suicide’s not always a disqualifier).
  9. Like
    InvidiaRed got a reaction from BronxWench in Looking for a character reaction   
    It can work, With the major players no longer on the board so to speak and only lesser factions. Its the perfect time for a changing of the guard and new powers to rise
    But… Here’s the devil in the details. What kind of setting is it? What happens if the hero is wrong? It’s these intrinsic questions you have to answer to be faithful and consistent to the lore and setting. If it’s a dark fantasy/grim dark vs. more light hearted fantasy. Does she make the most of the admittedly embarrassing situation or does she automatically accuse him of sexual assault? Does he do his best about the situation? Or does he fall apart from the lapse of control and skewed judgement. It’s going to be a big decision for the both of them. He’s going to have to deal with the fact he just potentially undermined his own beliefs and values with this indiscretion one way or another as did she.
    Not every character has to be romantic some people really do just antiromantically do it/ make the most of the situation and jointly decide they’re a thing now. Even if the beginning situation is embarrassing for both of them. They both have agency and on some level they connected enough to do it even if they don’t remember much of it.
    The Rubicon has been crossed and the genie is out of the bottle.
     
  10. Like
    InvidiaRed reacted to Desiderius Price in Looking for a character reaction   
    TBH, how the characters actually react/respond IS the meat & potatoes of most any story – that’s definitely an exercise best left to the writer.
    Your first question, when they wake up in the compromising position.  If there’s been a mutual pent up secret lust for each other, well, that’ll end fine and dandy.  Anything else and you’re talking fireworks, with many twisted outcomes available (more than I can count).  For extra flavor, you could have one party *think* its worse than it is/was, leaving the other dumbfounded on the response.  Extra spicy is to have a third party setting it up and/or taking advantage of it.
    Second question… could use a game of truth or dare for the expose, or similar.  For twins, mixups are very common, so having the guy profess his love (or similar) to the wrong twin?  As to reactions?  Depends on the personalities/trusts/fears.  Maybe the sisters get along and decide to share him.  Maybe it becomes a love triangle, with the other sneaking in to interject herself?  Maybe the sisters have a falling out over this and don’t speak for a dozen years until forced to (ie family funeral).
    The better question is where do you want to take the story?
  11. Like
    InvidiaRed reacted to Desiderius Price in looking for a trophy.   
    That’s where having a preserved willy on the wall would be a good addition.  So, got the guild token on the wall, along with the willy.  (Note, it’s a tavern, tall tales are fine, so it doesn’t actually belong to the same person.)
    “See that on the wall?” the owner said, “After we claimed our first prize, he came back and harrassed, I had to defend my girls’ reputation, claimed the second prize too.”
  12. Like
    InvidiaRed got a reaction from BronxWench in looking for a trophy.   
    A seal would work. short sweet and likely something expensive for them to replace. Where its guaranteed they’ll be ridiculed at best for being careless.
  13. Like
    InvidiaRed got a reaction from BronxWench in looking for a trophy.   
    A seal would work. short sweet and likely something expensive for them to replace. Where its guaranteed they’ll be ridiculed at best for being careless.
  14. Like
    InvidiaRed reacted to SirGeneralSir in looking for a trophy.   
    Under normal situation, no a trader would not let go of the seal, hence him being drunk.
    I doubt the guild would be so willing to cause issues with a tavern when their member was assaulting or trying to assault one of the girls, bad PR.
    humm.
  15. Like
    InvidiaRed reacted to BronxWench in looking for a trophy.   
    Nah, just the guild seal on its own, because no trader would part with it willingly and lose the only proof of his membership in the guild…  
  16. Haha
    InvidiaRed reacted to SirGeneralSir in looking for a trophy.   
    guild seal could be an amulet of sorts, looks like weight scales, one with a box and the other with a coin, hanging around the neck of a troll head mount saying the guy was a troll   
  17. Like
    InvidiaRed reacted to BronxWench in looking for a trophy.   
    Actually, I kind of like the trader’s guild seal… 
     
  18. Like
    InvidiaRed reacted to Thundercloud in InvidiaRed's review responses   
    You don’t seem to subscribe to less is more...anyway...if you ever get around to collect your string of stories into a full story arc I would not mind try reading it since the setting is cool. Until then I think I will focus on my own writing and exchanging reads with other authors.
  19. Haha
    InvidiaRed reacted to BronxWench in looking for a trophy.   
    I go Celt and opt for a Wicker Man.  
  20. Haha
    InvidiaRed got a reaction from BronxWench in looking for a trophy.   
    That’s for door to door solicitors
     
    And porch snatchers get the blood eagle
  21. Haha
    InvidiaRed got a reaction from Desiderius Price in looking for a trophy.   
    Personally, I’m more of a roman opinion on them. Crucified on the side of the road as a warning to others.
     
     
  22. Haha
    InvidiaRed got a reaction from Desiderius Price in looking for a trophy.   
    Personally, I’m more of a roman opinion on them. Crucified on the side of the road as a warning to others.
     
     
  23. Like
    InvidiaRed got a reaction from BronxWench in looking for a trophy.   
    See you get it!
    If you must go,
    go all out
     
     if a female nobles does it spay her. Bam! no more problem.
  24. Like
    InvidiaRed got a reaction from BronxWench in looking for a trophy.   
    If you’re going to do it go all out. His entire schlong with the family jewels turned to stone.
    jerkass noble walks in and comes out a eunuch (which is both fitting and underrepresented in fiction.)
     
    Nothing says plays nice more than a petrified reminder of the last noble who was under some mistaken belief he was a man.
  25. Like
    InvidiaRed reacted to Desiderius Price in looking for a trophy.   
    First time is the warning, the second time completes the set!  :)