InvidiaRed

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InvidiaRed last won the day on April 7

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  1. Part 2 of Southwestern Wind and Epilogue is up :D

  2. InvidiaRed

    InvidiaRed's review responses

    Keeping kermit tho cause I find it hilarious <3 and now its canon and all your fault
  3. Post apocalyptic bank heist meets evil dead :D

  4. InvidiaRed

    InvidiaRed's review responses

    adizhsignin si a taebdaed rehtaf
  5. InvidiaRed

    InvidiaRed's review responses

    http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109700&amp;chapter=3
  6. writer question.

    I heard an editor complain that people overuse “ “

    i’m a bit confizzled how else are you supposed to inform the reader that talking/conversation is taking place?

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      I think @GeorgeGlass has the right of it.

      The only other thing I can think of, and I will admit it does annoy me, is when people put a word or phrase in quotations as a form of emphasis:
      He seemed to think he was always going to be “the big man on campus” despite being the lowest producer on the team.

      And there’s the quote within conversation, which should be marked by ‘ ‘ rather than “ “ :
      “So, he said the me, ‘I won’t eat that rubbish.’ Can you imagine the cheek?”

    3. JayDee

      JayDee

      Is your editor Herr Starr?(edit - deleted link as no preview per forum rules but Google something like Herr Starr improper use of inverted commas to see an overreaction! )

      Edit 2 – Found an imur link with preview! (NSFW due to languague, two pages from comic Preacher with discussion of inverted commas!)

      https://imgur.com/gallery/4lhta/comment/273222999?nc=1

    4. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      *dies laughing* 

  7. InvidiaRed

    InvidiaRed's review responses

    While Glykon knows much more than he lets on and a bit of a Klepto. No one is asking the right questions. Nope, He’s there for genuine altruistic reasons. Duncan is his actual grandpappy. And you can guess who his pappy is.
  8. InvidiaRed

    InvidiaRed's review responses

    From JayDee on April 06, 2021 I definitely had a little trouble with threading some of the bits together on this one, but I assume the surrealist side is kind of the point with the various gods/entities and past/future elements mixed in through dream and ending? Glykon did say that Logan would share a dream. -The ancient/powerful god with the snake, I was worried for a moment there it was gonna turn into a Harry Potter crossover :p I guess that Logan couldn’t intervene because it was more of a vision of the past rather than actual time travel? Duncan repeats the worst moments of his entire existence when he sleeps. The incarnations may be interred in history but they are still him and he is still them. A reference to a moment of awesome to essentially tell Marduk himself momento mori just after his crowning moment of glory. It seemed to be covering some of the issues for why they had their falling out with the angels of that world? Or possibly I misunderstood that! Kinda wondered if those feathers later on in the present/future were tied to that somehow. Foreshadowing and also who did he see after that? *nudge* @InBrightestDay will be happy when they eventually catch up. I definitely couldn’t tell for sure if Logan was in the future as he woke up, or, since neither Hel nor Glykon had spotted anything if it was only a timeskip once he hit the mailbox and found it stuffed full of crap. An entire year worth of ads and other spam and mail. Duncan enchanted his mailbox so it could hold much more than it should. That said The Year That Never Was- Is essentially that, reality is unstable from the damage and when someone tried to force their will on it snapped almost everyone a year into the future. Mass confusion and chaos even without the pandemic. Glykon’s whole bit was great – loved the line about a god and a doorknob – but still just loving the heck out of that character in general! Glykon is a treat to write I find it adorable that he’s definitively has this grandson/ granddad dynamic with Logan despite being way older than Logan. Not a child but not a teenager just yet. One last thing – on the forum you said Southern Wind but the title here is Southwestern Wind – I see that a ‘southern wind’ picked up in the story so was that just a typo/old title used on the actual chapter or is it a shifting wind? =p Part two will be Hel’s POV
  9. Writer Question

    cause a personal project is reaching completion.

     

    If you leave it on  cliffhanger, Can/ should you have a epilogue and or put the stinger in the epilogue?

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      I’m with @Desiderius Price on this. Do what you think will have the greatest “punch” and keep the readers invested for the next part. 

    3. JayDee

      JayDee

      Do that thing where it turns out the remorseless hated evil they thought was destroyed suddenly appears again, like when I haven’t posted here for a hit then suddenly reply.

    4. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      @JayDee So pull a you? =p

    1. JayDee

      JayDee

      I had a southern wind problem. Had to start chewing charcoal.

  10. Sequel to Out With The Old

    is ready just waiting for easter Haha <3

     

    Southwestern Wind :bounce:

    1. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      After a week of feasting, Logan goes out to get the mail.

      Only to find new neighbors.

  11. InvidiaRed

    InvidiaRed's review responses

    From JayDee on March 14, 2021 Always feels a little annoying to see a story with 5000+ views and no reviews/only one person reviewing. Folks’re clearly checking it out, could give some feedback. Ah well. Valentine’s Employee Only Services. Hey! You’re saying you can’t write sex scenes but bam! That’s a brief but fun coupling you got there. I especially liked that kiss followed by Argus getting Harry inside. Character development can be tricky. Argus wants to help in his own way. Sex scenes are hard but I’m getting better? “Shadows that shouldn’t be there that sort of thing.” …does Harry suspect Peter Pan is coming for them? :p I kid I kid! Don’t tempt me =p This one did feel a little choppier – another pass for typos would probably help it some, but otherwise another solid part. And not just Argus’ solid part. ooof will try to make sure the next one is better.