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Showing content with the highest reputation on 10/10/2013 in all areas

  1. 1 point
    @FD: I can't sleep so I'm responding to this at almost 2 am. Ack! lolz you fell asleep on your phone? Sounds like me! Yeah I can't believe you took an entire day to write a review. Kind of too much effort, don't you think? Get some sleep, girly! I really liked your last review, it was awesomesauce. I suppose just remember this story is steeped in the absurd, and Fico really doesn't like to get all emotional. He just shoves it inside until he has a big burst of anger/sadness. Anger comes next chapter. Part of him just wants to be taken care of, to be babied. So that was kind of his first reaction to Luke. But also, he's afraid to open up to Luke, to kiss him, to be with him, because Luke is so closeted and he's really, really afraid of rejection, the more so since his mom kicked him out. Yeah, kisses to come in later chapters. Hold yer horses! Patience is a virtue.
  2. 1 point
    @FD: Oh such a good review! I love it when a reader finds something wrong so I can fix it. Um, yeah this whole story is completely absurd. 1) Cubans and Mexicans don't get along. Mexicans think that Cubans are stuck up. Cubans think that Mexicans are illegal wetbacks and don't come here through the right process. This isn't true for everyone, obviously. 2) The dicks are way too big. I mean, come on. 8 inches is already pretty long. 3) These guys are way too hot to begin with. 4) What are the chances that a hot new guy's mom actually works in another hot but insecure guy's mom's law firm? Nada, zip, zero. 5) What are the chances that said insecure yet hot guy gets picked up by a famous model? Who has a crush on him and is secretly insecure and lonely? Also nada, zip, zilch, zed. The list could go on, and on, and on into infinity! I hadn't really thought specifically about the emotional development. Fico was supposed to be really stunned by the development of Luke being bi, so he didn't even try to kiss Luke back. And the kiss is being saved for next time to keep you interested. Or annoyed or both . I asked TRUgrit for feedback but she was too busy to get back to me. So good thing I have you! Should I rewrite it do you think? I don't really know what to change. I think Fico is like this guy that hasn't dealt with his dad's death or his mom kicking him out at all. He just hides his pain and thinks that's enough. So when Luke says he's bi, it's like this windfall they he's so grateful for, but scared of at the same time. All he can do is cry because he has all these unshed tears for his dad and mom. He doesn't really know how to connect with someone, all he has is this huge hole inside him that he wants to fill with a boyfriend. But what he really needs is family. Which is where Joaco comes in. Joaco was more of a father figure to him, and the loss of that, or the apparent loss of that, was the most devastating part of the previous night. Part of his memory loss is because he simply can't process it, like PTSD. He unconsciously blocked all that out because it was just too much to bear. In the next chapter, he'll deal with it when he and Joaco get in a fight. That's when all shit gets laid on the table. I write this story from the perspective of Fico, so you don't get to see things happen to other characters until after the fact. I think you forgot that at the time of Fico leaving, his friends were upstairs so they didn't actually see him go. Only Luke saw it. About 40 minutes passed from the time he left the loft and the time he went to the hospital, so it's plausible that kids during a party don't even notice their friend is AWOL until the next morning, especially if they got drunk. If you know high school kids like I do, they will somehow get a hold of booze in a household and sneak it to their friends in plastic cups so it looks like any old Coke (Okay I might have done that once or twice in my time). When he woke up, Fico deliberately didn't check his messages b/c he was scared. And he was unconscious for most of the time in the hospital. But he actually has a ton messages! See ch 13 . Yeah a couple of his non-hungover friends are in the waiting room sitting awkwardly wondering if he still has a dick to pee with. LOL. Usually hospitals here have pretty strict visiting hours, so people can't just sit in the room doodling or whatever waiting for their friends to wake up. They have to sit in the waiting room for hours doing nothing but stewing in their own anxiety. It sucks. So after a couple hours, you're like, "Fuck it, I'm going home. Call me when he wakes up."Obviously Luke has pressured the nurse into letting him stay, but it's rare for doctors to let anyone except for someone's immediate family see them after surgery, unless they ask specifically for them. I think it'd be weird to give someone roses and get well card if they had a Viagra problem but that's just me. It's not something you'd want to tweet about, "Hey man, hope your dick is better!" But that's kind of funny, I might add it to the next chapter! I really appreciate the review. I love the "wow this is great" reviews but prefer the constructive ones more .
  3. 1 point
    I tend to read published slash because they're edited and tend to be higher quality - no offense to the amateur writers here! But there's no comparison to a professional with tons of practice. I list most of them on goodreads. I go for stuff with a good plot, not pure porn. My faves are: Special Forces: Soldiers by Aleksandr Voinov and Marquesate <<< violent but touching, a bit on the long side I'll Be Your Drill, Soldier (okay dumb title but good book) by Crystal Rose <<<actually very sweet Stockholm Syndrome by Richard Rider the series: Warchild, Cagebird and Burndive by Karin Lowachee Special Delivery and it's sequel, Double Blind by Heidi Cullinan <<< really really enjoyable books! Scrap Metal by Harper Fox, and most others by Harper Fox <<< so sweet and romantic Hot Head by Damon Suede <<< also a really enjoyable read Red Skies by Joanne Kells How to Save a Life by Sloan Parker <<<kind of scary but awesome and romantic Zero at the Bone by Jane Seville Bloodraven by PL Nunn <<<but that's a classic, right, everyone's read that! Basic Training by Marquesate Thinking Straight by Robin Reardon Crossing Borders by ZA Maxfield Captain's Surrender by Alex Beecroft Faith & Fidelity by Tere Michaels Open Cover Before Striking by Willa Okati State of Mind by Libby Drew To Catch A Fox by Justin Lovell Cherry Pie by Samantha Kane most every book by Ethan Day, his Sno Ho is soooooo hilarious The Tucker Springs series, like Dirty Laundry, etc. Simple Men by Eric Arvin ....and dozens others. I love to read! I'm reading Where You Are by JH Trumble right now and it is pretty good.
  4. 1 point
    Guest

    Creature Snarry

    I remember that Harry and Snape are both some sort of creature. When they bond, Harry starts feeling unsafe eating anything or living anywhere that Snape did not provide with his own hands. Harry learns how to make clothes as well, but I can't remember any more.