Review responses for "Smooshed (or, The Nine Wives of Marco Diaz)" [Star Vs. the Forces of Evil]

[GeorgeGlass]

Here, I’ll post responses to any reviews for my story “Smooshed (Or, The Nine Wives of Marco Diaz).”

Edited January 30, 2022 by GeorgeGlass

[GeorgeGlass]

From GrayNeko on January 30, 2022

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Love to see more Star, especially from you George.

Thank you! And thanks for giving this story its first review.

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I think calling the effects of the finale "the Smoosh" is pretty great.

It just seemed like the most Star-ish thing to call it.

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I look forward to seeing who joins Marco's harem and pray Ponyhead isn't one of them.

Shhhh, no spoilers.

Edited January 31, 2022 by GeorgeGlass

[GeorgeGlass]

From ANON - Grey on January 31, 2022

 

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Awesome, always good to see some SVTFOE. Harem King Marco is the one true King lol Great work as always will be watching this story develop with interest.

Thanks! Hope you enjoy it.

[Guest this was a fun and interes]

This was awesome and interesting story so far and it shows the real consaquineses shar come to realize after killing the magic I hope Hekapoo back ,and I .hope she will be joining in , I also hope Jackie and her girlfriend is joining the harem to.

[king]

5 minutes ago, Guest this was a fun and interes said:

This was awesome and interesting story so far and it shows the real consaquineses shar come to realize after killing the magic I hope Hekapoo back ,and I .hope she will be joining in , I also hope Jackie and her girlfriend is joining the harem to.

This is me

[GeorgeGlass]

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This was awesome and interesting story so far and it shows the real consaquineses shar come to realize after killing the magic

There was so much talk about that among fans after the series finale that I felt like I absolutely had to address it.

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I hope Hekapoo back ,and I .hope she will be joining in , I also hope Jackie and her girlfriend is joining the harem to.

Given that Marco has eight wives left to find, I’d say that the odds of at least some of your wishes coming true are pretty good.

[GeorgeGlass]

From ANON - Edward on February 13, 2022

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Good stuff, man. Insterested to see what girls end up as Marco's partners.

Thanks! I hope you’ll like his choices.

[GeorgeGlass]

From ANON - Ron on March 21, 2022

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Please ha e Hekapoo join in the herum next or soon.

You’ll just have to read on and see what happens...

[GeorgeGlass]

@GrayNeko

From GrayNeko on March 25, 2022

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I'm loving the inclusion of Princess Arms, but I'm a little sad that her striking nose has been rinoplastied. I found it strangely attractive with the rest of her look.

Yeah, a couple of people on AO3 didn’t like her makeover, either. (One was particularly disappointed by the electrolysis.) My feeling is that if Arms had just had the pointy nose, or the buck teeth, or the flat chest, or the hairy pits, I might have left it alone. But since she has all four of those issues, and since she clearly didn't like having hairy pits, I thought it would be fun -- and funny -- to have her completely make herself over once she discovers Earth's many beauty-related resources.

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I'm hoping we'll get a reason why Mime is not to be included, because I would have loved for her to be part of Marco's harem, especially given the implications of her and those scarves she swallowed.

In a way, you’ve already found out, but all will be made clear by the end.

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Looking forward to see who Tom recruits to help his investigation.

 

You’ll find out soon.

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On a constructive criticism note, I've noticed a few instances where the names of female participants gets mixed up. I know how tricky it can be with so many moving pieces.

Aw, crud, I hate when I do that, but thanks for mentioning it. I’ll have to read through those chapters again. Are there any specific instances you can think of?

[GeorgeGlass]

From ANON - SSB123 on May 10, 2022

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quite the chapter this turned out. really shows how much they've grown to love each other.

Yes, they certainly have. 

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and if it got to the point where Jackie dicides to sleep topless from now on, they may as well remain naked around each other when they're alone

Some of them might, but others may opt for sexy sleepwear. 

[GeorgeGlass]

From GrayNeko on May 11, 2022

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I'm wondering if the weapons given to Marco and his ladies might be the key to freeing them from whatever is affecting them as well, because to me it seems like there are two kinds of mind control going on after the Tom's visit to Ponyhead. Or at least, Marco seems to be some sort of catalyst to counter the Possessed, turning them to something else.

Will Tom hook up with this teacher? That might be fun and I think Tom deserves something for all the work he's doing.

 

My, so much speculation. You’re just going to have to wait and see.

[GeorgeGlass]

From GrayNeko on May 29, 2022

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I really love the way you do dirty talk.

Thanks! That’s often my favorite part of a sex scene to write.

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Also enjoyed the characterization of Hekapoo as well as having a full figured lady added to the mix.

Thanks! I really wanted to include Hekapoo in this story (not least for full-figured-lady reasons), so I put a lot of thought into how she would survive the death of magic, and how she would be changed by it,

[GeorgeGlass]

From ANON - SSB123 on June 17, 2022

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five if Marco's six wives are now pregnant. honestly thought it would be longer until it happens.now i'm starting to bellive Marco was right to suspect the whole Nine Wives thing was hard to bellive given the last part.

There’s definitely more going on than meets the eye. Stay tuned.

[GeorgeGlass]

From ANON - DaremoKamen on June 19, 2022

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Please don't make Princess Spiderbite part of the harem.  I really like her together with Slimeboy, and would hate to see them broken up.  If you decide to include sex scenes that don't involve Marco and his Harem, that couple would be fun to see.

Spiderbite was suggested early on as a candidate for the harem, but I decided against it specifically because I didn’t want to break up her and Slime. Given that the Monster Haters are alive and well, their Mewman/monster relationship remains important.

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I'm really enjoying Tom and Rose trying to find out what the reasons are.

I’m glad. It’s been interesting for me to write Tom as a good guy, rather than the straight-up villain he was in my previous Star Vs. story, “Star’s Crossed Lovers.”

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It should go without saying that I really enjoy the sex scenes.

But I’m glad you didn’t let it go without saying. Thanks!

[GeorgeGlass]

From GrayNeko on July 02, 2022

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Reminds me of the book "Invasion" by Robin Cook, which I read because my middle school library had a very strange collection of sci-fi and fantasy that I don't think anyone properly evaluated.

I read some Robin Cook in my youth, but not that one, I don’t think. I’m guessing it’s not great? Or was it just not appropriate for middle schoolers?

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Loved that Janna finally got some anal action and I dig Britney's dance routine,

I thought I was almost done with Brittney’s sex scene, and then the idea of the other girls getting up and cheering came to me and I just had to include it.

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which made me think of Symbionic Titan, which then made me sad, but then the sex made me happy again.

It is super-weird that you mention Symbionic Titan – which I’ve never watched – because when Fairy Slayer sent me his beta of the chapter, he included a link to an astoundingly sexy dance scene from that show. Guess I’m going to have to try watching it one of these days.

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Love that Star is still trying to find her place in the world and is still coping with her hard choice.

Thanks. More Starry angst coming soon!

[GeorgeGlass]

From ANON - Sonicrainboom on August 29, 2022

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I like most of this story. (Boob growth isn't my thing, but the rest is good)

Yeah, this story covers so much ground, there’s something not-for-everyone.

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can I suggest the porcupine monster as one of his brides? He needs a monster girl in his harem 

Is she a porcupine? I kinda thought she was squirrel. But she’s definitely cute either way.

In any case, the remaining brides-to-be have already been chosen. But at least Arms is part monster.

[GeorgeGlass]

From GrayNeko on August 30, 2022

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I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love your dirty talk! This humilating use of Higgs was awesome

I had fun with that. Maybe too much fun.  But I thought it would be cool for Marco to have a bride who’s about the last person on Mewth/Earni/Susan who would ever want to marry him, and the wackiness that would ensue if she couldn’t help but want to marry him.

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and I'm so glad to see Tom getting some much deserved action.

I don’t normally do this, but I actually took that idea from a reviewer. I liked the idea of there being a little action outside of the palace, and to show that Tom isn’t just being cucked over and over again by King Marco.

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Truly, this chapter had it all. 

Thank you!
 

[GeorgeGlass]

From Nytefyre on February 08, 2023

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Whew!  Read all of that in one-shot and loved it.  I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall.  I love the way you're foreshadowing ominous events to come.  

Thanks! In a story this long and involved, foreshadowing is a must.

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I wonder who will betray the happy harem first?  Will it be someone in the group (our favorite Woolette, Janna, ??) or Tom or ...??

Mwahahahaha...

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Also, what is going on with the magic?  The brief flashes with Hekapoo portend something possibly joyous to come?  

Joyous, disastrous, who knows? I mean, besides me.

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Is it Marco's harem and something about their bonds that keep them safe?  Can anyone wield the weapons against the threat?  

Hmmm...

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I can't wait for more to learn answers to these and I'm sure many new questions.

Thanks for writing and sharing!

 

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

[GeorgeGlass]

From Nytefyre on November 28, 2023

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The development of the story and the way each wife was brought in was well thought out and engrossing.  

Thank you! I put a lot of thought into this story; in fact, I probably did more outlining for it than for any other story I’ve written.

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The virus explanation at the end begs for more stories dealing with it.

At this point, I don’t really have a plan for further stories set in this world. The final chapter implies that there won’t be another crisis like the Possessed invasion until Marco and the brides’ kids are teenagers.

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Thanks for writing and sharing.

Thanks for reading and reviewing...again!

[GeorgeGlass]

It seems that I somehow forgot to post my author notes for “Smooshed” when I finished the story last year. Better late than never, I suppose.

 

Author notes

The subtitle "The Nine Wives of Marco Diaz" is an homage to The Nine Lives of Fritz the Cat (1974), one of the first X-rated animated movies.

This story required more outlining than any other story I’ve written. I had a “character table” to keep track of each character’s sigil, weapon, sexual power, magical power, and source of angst. Then there was a “story table” that listed, for each of the 18 chapters, what would happen in the main story arc, the Tom/Rosa arc, the amount of time that passes in the chapter, Marco’s penis size, Jackie’s breast size, and any important changes that the other girls would undergo. All group sex scenes required their own outlines, and I made a list of bridal outfits for chapter 16 to make sure that none of them was too much like another.

In chapter 11, when the girls are cheering on Marco and Brittany, Janna's cheer ends with "this is just getting corny" because 'corny' is one of the surprisingly few words that rhymes with 'horny.'

Referring to Earni/Mewth as "Susan" was inspired by the end of the otherwise mediocre animated film Titan A.E., in which the MC names the planet he just discovered (or created, I don't remember) "Bob." The name Susan comes from the MC of another mediocre animated movie, Monsters Vs. Aliens; I always remember it because one of the other monsters tries to argue that the MC doesn't need a "monster name" because "Susan" might be scary enough. ("Suuuuuuusannnn...")

According to the Star Vs. wiki (https://starvstheforcesofevil.fandom.com/wiki/Star_vs._the_Forces_of_Evil_Wiki), Daron Nefcy once said that Starfan13's real name is Amanda Jacobs. Whether or not this is true, I decided to use that name in this story – not least because the name Amanda means "she who is loved."

Amanda's shapeshifting power follows T-1000 rules (Yes, I know I'm dating myself here): She can only transform into creatures of roughly equal volume and mass.

Edited December 12 by GeorgeGlass