InvidiaRed's review responses

[InBrightestDay]

I had wanted to respond to this a while back, but for some reason just didn’t.  Let me remedy that now.

On 11/2/2020 at 8:07 PM, InvidiaRed said:

Luzurial is a cosmic entity who predates the universe I’d put her in the same weight class as Hera and other queens of pantheons able to fight their spouses to a standstill.  Based on how she’s written she most likely would have sided with the gods. Gods are intimately connected to existence. They’re supposed to be there. They’re part of the grand design of the universe. They are exactly as they say they are. No more, no less. If she does have a counterpart my setting, She’s probably deep undercover and or desperately trying to fix the damage to the workings of the universe trying to get things back on track.

If they ever did meet.

Luzurial would burst into tears at the sight of him because the damage done to Duncan is too extensive, too deep.one side effect is the irrational insane rage that angels inspire in him and the other is when he sleeps he relives the worst moments of all his incarnations. 

I realize this might have been a purely hypothetical thing, but if you ever did want to have Duncan meet a friendly angel, I’d suggest the Archangel Jophiel, actually.  Similar to Luzurial (down to wielding a flaming sword), but with the benefit of not having been made up by JayDee or me, and of having an actual Hebrew name!

Jophiel’s name, יוֹפִיאֵל, translates as “divine beauty”, and as such the angel is commonly depicted as female.  She’s listed by Pseudo-Dionysius as one of the seven archangels (along with Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Uriel, Camael and Zadkiel), but I suspect she would have counseled against attempted deicide because Jophiel is the archangel of wisdom, understanding and judgment.

She hasn’t shown up yet, but in the WitS universe, Jophiel is one of the seven vessels (the seven archangels), and her appearance is based on this stunning piece of art by Lorenz Basuki.  I don’t know that it’s a specific archangel, but the first time I saw it, someone was using it for Jophiel, and the image stuck.

Uh...I realize that sounded like I was pitching the character.  Sorry if it sounded like I was pushing.  Duncan’s got other things to do for the moment!

He’s gotta talk to a spider.

On the subject of Duncan himself, you mention that an angel, or archangel anyway, could see the damage done to him.  Can others?  Is it visible to his husband, for instance?

[InvidiaRed]

3 minutes ago, InBrightestDay said:

I had wanted to respond to this a while back, but for some reason just didn’t.  Let me remedy that now.

I realize this might have been a purely hypothetical thing, but if you ever did want to have Duncan meet a friendly angel, I’d suggest the Archangel Jophiel, actually.  Similar to Luzurial (down to wielding a flaming sword), but with the benefit of not having been made up by JayDee or me, and of having an actual Hebrew name!

Jophiel’s name, יוֹפִיאֵל, translates as “divine beauty”, and as such the angel is commonly depicted as female.  She’s listed by Pseudo-Dionysius as one of the seven archangels (along with Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Uriel, Camael and Zadkiel), but I suspect she would have counseled against attempted deicide because Jophiel is the archangel of wisdom, understanding and judgment.

She hasn’t shown up yet, but in the WitS universe, Jophiel is one of the seven vessels (the seven archangels), and her appearance is based on this stunning piece of art by Lorenz Basuki.  I don’t know that it’s a specific archangel, but the first time I saw it, someone was using it for Jophiel, and the image stuck.

Uh...I realize that sounded like I was pitching the character.  Sorry if it sounded like I was pushing.  Duncan’s got other things to do for the moment!

He’s gotta talk to a spider.

On the subject of Duncan himself, you mention that an angel, or archangel anyway, could see the damage done to him.  Can others?  Is it visible to his husband, for instance?

I could kiss you

I would like an angel who isn’t a zealot or currently insane with impotent rage. Duncan deserves that chance of someone attempting genuine help without thought of boons or personal gain. I’ll look her up

Thank You <3

[InvidiaRed]

On 11/7/2020 at 11:52 PM, InBrightestDay said:

On the subject of Duncan himself, you mention that an angel, or archangel anyway, could see the damage done to him.  Can others?  Is it visible to his husband, for instance?

Duncan…. He hides his wounds. Being an old healer god means he’s been successful on the physical side of it anyway, Not showing what he perceives as something others would exploit. Most of the others gods younger than the arrival don't really understand what they’re seeing. Chalking them up to old battle scars  Think of scars that go deeper than he is on the spiritual side. If you lined up all his incarnations that’s where the damage becomes supremely obvious. A cosmic entity or an incredibly powerful god that bothered for a more than cursory check up would know something is up. 

A nature spirit could probably feel an offness in his spirit, a disquieting something that shouldn’t be there. Logan as of now doesn’t know. Chalking up Duncan’s acquiescence to his fantasies as merely one of Duncan’s moods. He’s newly wed so he really doesn’t see any signs that something is wrong and Duncan won’t say anything that might suggest that he isn’t fine.

Duncan Isn’t Fine, But he’s been that way for so long he’s settled for functional.

Edited December 15, 2020 by InvidiaRed
clarity

[InBrightestDay]

On 11/8/2020 at 2:00 AM, InvidiaRed said:

I would like an angel who isn’t a zealot or currently insane with impotent rage. Duncan deserves that chance of someone attempting genuine help without thought of boons or personal gain. I’ll look her up

Bear in mind that when I said “commonly depicted as female” I’m referring to art you’ll find if you Google “her”.  Officially, basically every angel other than Lailah is officially depicted as male (and certainly every canonical angel), thus in the Wikipedia article on Jophiel, he’s referred to as he/him, and is depicted as male in the stained glass window used for illustration.

As I said, I suspect that portrayal as female is due to the name, and as I include both male and female angels in the WitS-verse, Jophiel seemed a natural way to include at least one woman in the Seven Archangels.  Since “she” is non-canonical anyway (not mentioned in the Bible), and I don’t think angels are actually male or female to begin with (though they can take male or female forms when they choose to look like humans), I didn’t think it would be a problem.

That and that illustration of the armored, red-headed archangel was so striking that I so wanted to have that as a character.  Not sure when she’ll come up, but if I do future stories in the universe, there is a chance…

What I’m getting at is that WitS Jophiel is female, but you can use either male or female should you choose to employ the character.  Here is the Wikipedia article I mentioned above.

As for Duncan himself, that’s really interesting.  The idea of scars being sort of metaphysical and passing back through different incarnations, almost like they’re four-dimensional or something, is fascinating.  Obviously not fun for him, but fascinating.

[InvidiaRed]

3 hours ago, InBrightestDay said:

Bear in mind that when I said “commonly depicted as female” I’m referring to art you’ll find if you Google “her”.  Officially, basically every angel other than Lailah is officially depicted as male (and certainly every canonical angel), thus in the Wikipedia article on Jophiel, he’s referred to as he/him, and is depicted as male in the stained glass window used for illustration.

As I said, I suspect that portrayal as female is due to the name, and as I include both male and female angels in the WitS-verse, Jophiel seemed a natural way to include at least one woman in the Seven Archangels.  Since “she” is non-canonical anyway (not mentioned in the Bible), and I don’t think angels are actually male or female to begin with (though they can take male or female forms when they choose to look like humans), I didn’t think it would be a problem.

That and that illustration of the armored, red-headed archangel was so striking that I so wanted to have that as a character.  Not sure when she’ll come up, but if I do future stories in the universe, there is a chance…

What I’m getting at is that WitS Jophiel is female, but you can use either male or female should you choose to employ the character.  Here is the Wikipedia article I mentioned above.

As for Duncan himself, that’s really interesting.  The idea of scars being sort of metaphysical and passing back through different incarnations, almost like they’re four-dimensional or something, is fascinating.  Obviously not fun for him, but fascinating.

Oh man that brings back some memories of

In Nomine

Haha.

Look up Godbound sometime

Edited November 10, 2020 by InvidiaRed
clarity

[InvidiaRed]

On 11/7/2020 at 11:52 PM, InBrightestDay said:

He’s gotta talk to a spider.

 

The funny thing is I already got a thanksgiving story ready.

Festive Mishap

Hel intrudes Duncan’s home. Only to find nobody is home except the door is askew and she isn’t the only one attempting to Holiday crash.

[InvidiaRed]

From JayDee on November 19, 2020
 

Bound by Choice – first chapter with a title!

Well. Well. That sort of activity certainly seems dangerous. And I don’t mean the groaning like a zombie during a zombie outbreak. Imagine if it snapped, or misfired! The Jedi council had a similar problem I understand. Pretty funny for him to be found like that, though, and my guess is he is perfectly aware Harry saw him and had the reaction he did. Hot, that. You guessed right Argus also has a charm that makes the user tingle whenever someone walks in on them. So he is very aware that Harry being the only other person in the store

We both know pervy wizards and witches likely have all manner of carnal spells to make their wands do things.

Also I really liked the Patronus getting involved in getting attention. That was straight up hilarious! If Patronuses take the form of animals its not really a stretch to suggest that they also have personalities. They also have mass at-least as long as they are conjured.

And we learn a bit more about what big V’s got on Harry… Bit of a rough choice there, but things being as they are in the universe it’s probably the best he could get. Take the mark or your friend gets Kissed is a remarkable yet deeply coercive method but it is effective at recruitment. You’d have to be a monster to callously watch your friend suffer a fate much worse than death. Voldy knows Harry isn’t so he chose the angle that had the best chance at success. He needed Harry’s endorsement so the coup could have that legitimacy.

Subtly went right out the window when the world started ending.

Wizardkind already knew they were outnumbered by muggles. The most astute are rightly worried about what happens when the last muggle stronghold falls to the unrelenting onslaught of these dead. When there are no more muggles for the horde to search out. Alone against an unknown enemy.

The implication that these dead have a rudimentary magic of their own is a terrifying concept.

[JayDee]

22 hours ago, InvidiaRed said:

Also I really liked the Patronus getting involved in getting attention. That was straight up hilarious! If Patronuses take the form of animals its not really a stretch to suggest that they also have personalities. They also have mass at-least as long as they are conjured.

Dat mass tho

[InvidiaRed]

Sorry for the delay in taking a look! Was fun to get back into the world again.

SPOILERY REVIEW

I can never shake the old fashioned half-rotted semi-skeletal image of Hel, so when you mention her applying lipstick my brain says “on one half only?”. I just wanted to share that, even though it doesn’t apply here… bah. Anyway. That might be what she looks like but she can assume a human guise like most gods can. Here she’s nowhere near as powerful as she was on Halloween. Thus she’s going the mortal transportation route.

It’s weird, the previous parts had the various gods, but this one feels way more godly if that makes sense – I think because it’s calling back to the mythology more directly, Ganymede the cup bearer, the division of the old dead for Valhalla, and of course good ol’ Bridey from the land of the young… almost more of a myths/folklore subdomain story than originals! Ganymede is the god of gay love and Zeus being Zeus the fact that Ganymede is his Cupbearer well its not surprising big Z’s “companion” is not platonic. Hera probably loves him for keeping Z’s excessive libido in check. Ganymede succeeded where all the other illicit lovers failed. So messing with him means not just having to deal with Zeus it means dealing with Hera too.

Bit of psychometry there reading the place and sensing Duncan – I kinda liked how she could tell all about the married state just from looking around the place rather than any kind of magic. Makes the setting where the married couple live feel more lived in – and the mention of the slippers, that’s a call back to when they mentioned in a previous story right? Yep Logan loves his favorite Goofy Slippers.

Gotta feel bad for ol’ Ganymede, goes from doing all that cupping for Zeus to finding someone he really fancies who ain’t up for it. Plus Duncan might not be super happy about him letting Hel wander around while he’s watching the house I guess – something like that felt implied from the basement visit? Ganymede is definitively hot for teacher. Divine relationships can be more fluid than mortal ones especially with Olympians. Whether or not anything comes of it that is something Logan is going to have to deal with eventually. Vastly different morals and attitudes and being married to someone unapologetically ancient.

Didn’t quite follow at the crashed vehicle if that was caused by the person calling sister, or if they were turning up to help out. Was pretty badass how it didn’t slow her down and she just up-and-out’d though! She is a Jotun and daughter of Loki. It’s partly why she’s so hostile to Brigid. Giants tend to be the negative aspects of nature. She may not know the Fomorians but giant pride and the snide harassment by the gods means she’s not really willing to listen to Brigid)Would this be an actual sibling, making it a wolf, a snake, or possibly Vali with that transcription error turning out not to be an error? Its meant to be Hel is preoccupied, excessively speeding and then her brother puts his paw into the road.

And introduces his vast pack of werewolf and wolfwere bikers. Now Hel has been “borrowed”

[JayDee]

23 minutes ago, InvidiaRed said:

 

 Divine relationships can be more fluid than mortal ones especially with Olympians.

Hera got *real* tired of hearing that from Zeus :p “How can you cheat on me with all these mortals? I’m your sister!” etc

[InvidiaRed]

9 hours ago, JayDee said:

Hera got *real* tired of hearing that from Zeus :p “How can you cheat on me with all these mortals? I’m your sister!” etc

Olympus the Original “Alabama”.

I wish I could joke but no. The more you research the worse it gets when it comes to Olympus. Zeus The Hapless Himbo

Hera isn’t even his only wife but she is indisputably the main one.

 

[JayDee]

Zeus kinda got stiffed with all that, thanks to all the areas having their own local stories that then got melded together as eg Athenian influence went one way, Corinithian another… not to mention that habit of just assuming 90% of foreign Gods were the Olympians in wigs and fake beards, like old Herodotus’s cheerful attempt to compare everything in Egypt to Greece and claim it all came from Egypt first “Yeah, Dionysus is huge down there, only they call him something else. Definitely him though. I went for an interview and he was absolutely shitfaced, off his head on the wine, and muttering about flooding crocodopolis...”

For my money the best bit that the later folks all quietly tried to ignore was Hesiod’s “No, Cerberus had 50 heads. Straight up, Guv. Time you’d petted all of them you didn’t want to get out of Hades anymore.”

[InvidiaRed]

From InBrightestDay on November 28, 2020
 

And the holiday series continues!

For those who were a bit confused by the previous story, the little dip into Norse mythology that Hel does here, though beyond just explaining a bit more about who Angrboda is, it also slips in some details of the relationship between Duncan and the other gods, namely that there are things other deities don't tell him, and there are a lot of things they don't seem to know about him.

She had often wondered why her mother never visited Helheim. Even in death, Angrboda continued to have the last laugh. For her shade had never appeared in her realm.

I'm assuming that the reason Angrboda never visits Helheim is because of the incarnation thing (i.e. as a past incarnation of Duncan, she doesn't show up because he's still alive), which suggests that Hel's info on Duncan is missing some key components. You are correct. Duncan does not share what some would say is rather relevant information. He could have once been more forthcoming  but Odin personally is the reason why his M.O is largely knowledge is on a need to know basis and if you “need” to know clearly you don’t. Unless you have a valid pertinent reason. All his incarnations don’t have a shade mainly because yes, Duncan is still very much alive.

The story formatting does cause one moment of confusion, purely due to a missing paragraph break: Will try to fix that.

"You aren't Asgardian, are you?" Came a silky smooth baritone voice.

She turned to behold an automatic shotgun in her face. A chuckle escaped her. 

"No, I'm Jotun."

"Thank Jove for that. After, Duncan got past that injunction for an indefinite restraining order."

Since a new paragraph starts every time the person speaking changes, the "No, I'm Jotun." "Thank Jove for that" threw me a bit at first, as I thought it was a joke, given Hel's previous speech about Odin, that she hated the Aesir so much that she was actually invoking the Greek pantheon (in spite of the fact that...well...most of those gods are dicks too).

Alas, that wasn't what you were saying and I couldn;t use the joke!

Loved the joke about how handsome Ganymede is, though.  Not knowing what character from Greek mythology this was, I actually did think it might be Adonis   It is kind of funny to imagine him housesitting for Duncan.  going from pouring drinks for the Olympians to watching the house of another deity, though in this case he's actually crushing on him (awkward considering Duncan's married). Adonis might show up.

And then Brigid showed up and this got sort of funny, with all these divine (well, sorta divine in Ganymede's case) figures converging on this house to share an awkward Thanksgiving.  I liked the detail that Hel is super attractive, but Brigid inspires a significant amount of jealousy by being even more beautiful. (Its jealously inspired by insecurity, Hel is half corpse but Brigid is that wholesome enriching beauty. Hel can absolutely present a wholesome face but Brigid naturally has that face.

Some more info about the setting comes out here, sometimes with small lines:

"He's wiser than Chiron but the best part of him. He's kind, and he goes out of his way to help mortals." That part intrigued Hel.

Not many gods openly admitted to that. Not all deities care about mortals. Some gods just treat it like a job. Others have an open disgust/ hatred because well we are as mayflies to them. There really isn’t a way for mortals to get around that. No point in getting attached if you blink and they’re dead or your attention was diverted for just a moment and not only is the person is dead but their thrice great grandchildern are old and feeble. Some gods believe that gods should be helping other gods rather than aiding brief beings who all end up inthe afterlife before too long.Some won’t even attempt to help until “after” the mortal in question is dead.

Not many gods admit to helping mortals?  I do wonder why they would hide such a thing.  And of course the inevitable comes up with Brigid.

"You are one of Danu's children. A goddess of the Tuatha De Danann. Sainthood is just a shawl you wear. So the good little Catholics venerate you." Hel stated in pettiness. Brigid merely looked at her unperturbed.

This makes me wonder what the status of Vodou is in this world.  If in this case the goddess Brigid and Saint Brigid really are the same person, then during Mardi Gras does she take on the alias of Maman Brigitte? Vodou exist but to add to the confusion some gods will adopt the same guise after conversing with one another. Friends and allies can share an alias no problem and Brigid is a great example since there are at-least three of her.

"One could say the same thing about thee. Aiding the missionaries spreading the word of Nazareth." Hel looked away. Brigid is right on the money. Hel’s assistance was subtle but the missionaries was the perfect way to attack that warrior culture at its core. She might not be able to touch the Aesir so she went directly after their influence. By merely, preventing a death here, a word of warning there it all added up and Norse culture collapsed and she did it without spilling a single drop of blood or even putting herself at risk. Valkyries only choose heroes on the battlefield. So then the best method would be make it so the number and frequency of those battles decrease.

"Idle speculation without teeth." Hel's heart hammered in her chest. Like Hell, she was going to admit to that. She would be censured for even indirectly aiding those genocidal zealots.

Merely for spreading another metastasizing version of Atenism. The gods were always watching in case that solipsistic bastard ever reared his head again. Aten was the first to succumb to solipsistic madness, thus he’s the one all the gods blame for monotheism.

And even the gods of Egypt admitted that there was a very good chance Aten wasn't dead. Much like the other monster that came after him. Mortals may call him Father, but the gods themselves would only call him Monster.

I almost made a joke here about how Hel might not want to throw stones in her glass house, given that she's part of the pantheon of the people who would go viking (the Rape, Pillage and Burn crowd), but then I realized I have no idea how history went in this universe. History mostly went close to our even with prophecy broken. There are however massive events that just happened without apparent cause. (Like Jotunheim getting a trade deal with US and Russia seven days before Aesir envoys ever arrived. It shouldn’t have happened but its own inertia is now solid and Jotunheim is not willing to let anything endanger it and the post WW2 superpowers aren’t willing to ever let such a benefit slip from their fingers. Even during the cold war it was a diplomatic show of one up manship. And both mortal and Jotun have managed to successfully pin any “accidents” or lapses on Asgardian interference. This world the god’s only really returned after the atomic bombs dropped. (And no government will admit openly that gods and monsters are real.)

So...leaving aside how viable the link between Akhenaten and other forms of monotheism is or isn't, if all the myths are real and Judaism, Christianity and Islam are "metastasizing versions" of Atenism, wouldn't that just make Aten and God the same guy instead of different gods?

Spoiler

Spoilers

Also, given that you've clarified in response to some other reviews that humans know about the preternatural or supernatural stuff (the US has a trade deal with Jotunheim; rich people can tour Olympus), given that God is evil and angels are almost extinct and were (mostly) deicidal psychopaths...what exactly is the status of Catholics, Jews and other adherents of the splinter tumors of Atenism?  This isn't one of those "different people believe different things" situations like in the real world; their faith is unquestionably wrong and outright bad, and all the gods have no doubt explained this.  Is anti-semitism way more prevalent and vigorous because Judaism is basically the cult of an evil god?  Are Christians a tiny minority religion working in deep denial about a whole lot of stuff?  I'm very curious about the impacts on how history unfolded here. The gods don’t really have a full consensus on what they should do. Despite its horrible roots, It has done great things. And its been complicated now that Man is now capable of destroying the world entirely without their help or influence.So far, The general view is don’t address the giant elephant in the room and this unofficial arrangement works. Even if some of the gods have concerns that this god of hope might have inherited his father’s madness. He’s quite proudly and vocally Pro-Mortal. None are willing to poke the proverbial bear just in case its the very thing that sets it off.  No one wants that particular albatross with certain guaranteed grave consequences.

He successfully laid siege to Hell itself after all.

As for Monotheism this verse. To the gods it would be like saying there’s seven billion+  humans on earth but you got people literally saying there is only “One, True” Human^TM    When there is clearly multitudes of them.

Other things at the house are deeply amusing.  I particularly like the callback (I think it's a callback, anyway) to Logan's fuzzy slippers, and the scoreboard with all the notes written on it was hilarious and kind of cute.

Finally, I grinned a little at the motorcycle gang of wolves, and...

A defining thunderous howl that surely made the trees tremble in fright, and the ground rumble. What surprised her the most was that somewhere in the distance, wolves responded, and the peals of rumbling bark like laughter resounded.

...

With a voice like a natural disaster, Boomed a cacophonous yet mirthful voice. Clearly excited see her again after so long.

 

"Hello, Sister. Miss me?"

Looks like next time, Fenrir enters the story. But Did He Escape? Or Was he set free?

Edited November 28, 2020 by InvidiaRed

[InvidiaRed]

From JayDee on December 16, 2020
 

Ok, look, gotta say this first. If you’re having a holiday canon, why not also a Holiday Cannon? Logan’s a big lad. Let him walk around shooting tinsel and baubles at people in the winter, or chocolates in Feb or angry orange pricks on the 12^th July in Ireland. Make a Holiday Cannon holiday canon I say! Ok, I’m done now.

Moving on to the comments which may have some spoilers. Because otherwise I end up super vague. Which admittedly some people prefer.

Look how happy Logan is at the start! But he’d be happier with a Hol- Ok, fuck. No, but gotta love a cool positive upbeat opening for the guy with the fluffy slippers.

“Duncan had smashed him into the ceiling like he was a toy.” Now there’s a line that can appear in smut as well as sparring scenes But it’s a solid reminder of who is the strongest for sure. Round one Logan thought his size and reach would make quick work of the sparring match right up until the moment Duncan catches his hand and  tosses him straight into the ceiling where Logan groans from the shock, looks down to see Duncan circling his position like a shark and then gravity pulls Logan from his impression after a flurry of blows Duncan finishes it with a merciful german suplex.

Fucking love this Glykon character. Mario handpuppet! Stealing wallets! Never shuts up! Just a really fun character, Oh he is fun to write, His schemes however tend to land him in alot of trouble and he doesn’t care who ends up paying for it as long as its not him. Not so much fun when you’re the mortal minding your own business when something stolen hits you when you forgot to roll up your window and then 30 minutes later a thoroughly pissed off demon is literally charging at your car with brutal murder in mind and your vehicle can’t go fast enough to get away.

up there with Logan for a kind of goofiness. And, holy shit, that is one heck of an outfit for him to put Duncan in. The fuck they headed, fire island?Close? They’re taking the historic route 66 Still, if he’s happy and Logan’s regret doesn’t last too long…Glykon charmed Logan and implanted that guilt along with that spell. Glykon still cares about his grandpappy. even if the demon goddess Lamashtu and Lilith herself is after him the opportunity to see him again was something he couldn’t pass up on.

Snake Deity Represent! That line about “He's a real god that masquerades as a false one” is a solid concept too. You ever read oglaf? I am a fan the fun worm saga is one of my favorites it is weird how things subconsciously end up I didn’t make the connection till now. Back years ago there was a storyline where some folks killed a fake god with a fake death. Because one of the characters wanted to see it naked. Anyway, partly reminded me of that! Glykon himself was largely thought to be a fake god right up until they found that statue of him and  people were like well shit he was real after all. Lucian’s account was particularity scathing partly due to Glykon’s head priest( Some say false prophet) was against epicureanism. While it makes sense that a false god would have a false prophet as a priest (if he truly was) Then this supposedly false priest must have been equally surprised when it turned out he wasn’t a fraud after all. Whether or not this supposedly false prophet helped corrupt an impressionable young deity into a life of fraud or that this “false” god naturally attracted someone of like mind is up to the reader to decide I will not clarify it either way.

Funworm

Edited December 17, 2020 by InvidiaRed
Clarification

[JayDee]

Holiday Cannon tho’

Quote

They’re taking the historic route 66

Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives crossover? :p

 

[InvidiaRed]

3 hours ago, JayDee said:

Holiday Cannon tho’

Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives crossover? :p

 

At most maybe a tshirt cannon =p

Maybe?

[InvidiaRed]

From InBrightestDay on December 19, 2020
 

Oh my God, this chapter...ok, I have to pace myself.

The couples stuff with Logan and Duncan is cute, and I do appreciate the fact that logan is trying to keep himself under control and not take up the offer of sex at every rest stop.  He may not know about all of Duncan's past incarnations or exactly what happened in them, but it is clear that he's trying to keep his husband from being unduly stressed (hence letting him sleep as much as possible).  We also get some little bits of info on what it means to be a jotunn in this world.  I liked the detail that they wouldn't approve of two men marrying but probably would have shown up to the wedding anyway, just because it was an excuse to drink and party.  I also like the idea that while he was born in the US, Logan still knows the others in his clan.

And then...Glykon appears.  This may be the funniest thing I've read in anything you've written.  I can't begin to tell you how hard I was laughing at the sheer absurdity of this scene ("Gaze upon the glory that is me.").  For anyone reading this after you've read the chapter, and who might have gotten a little confused, Glykon was a snake deity worshipped by a cult in ancient Rome.  The primary source on him is Lucian, a Roman satirist who wasn't a fan of the cult, and among other things portrayed Glykon as being a hand puppet, hence why the snake is wearing a hand puppet on his head here. Personally. Its Logan’s rebuttal that made me laugh until I teared up when I wrote it. Logan just no selling a god’s entrance was and still is hilarious.

The fertility blessing was an amusing idea.  I know the story establishes that Duncan has children, but given the personality Glykon has on display, I half-imagine a fertility blessing would result in Logan getting pregnant. Don’t give him ideas =p

Also just a mandatory reminder that this scene features a death god in transparent pants and a bright red jockstrap strangling a handpuppet.  I was reading this in the break room at work and had to try and keep from snorting with laughter.  Logan's a great audience surrogate there (I'm assuming he's pulling sort of an O_o reaction) and it gets even better when the cards go missing from his wallet. Yep, Its why he laughing hysterically for a moment. He doesn’t know how to process the sheer absurdity even when his husband is calmly choking out this serpent god.

Glykon doesn't even have hands.  All you need is a dream. Glykon’s weakness is hands.

Anyway, our regularly scheduled shenanigans have now been interrupted by Fomorians, so we'll have to see where that goes next time! Historic route 66 straight to Cali!

[InvidiaRed]

From JayDee on December 29, 2020
 

Master Override – InvidiaRed

Good job there! The first non-horny holiday story! Unless someone has an AI fetish. Which some people do. Especially after encountering eg GlaDOS. I mean, the Neurotoxin’ll get you but the AI’ll still be alive. Unless some super powerful godlike being turns up and fucks with it.

For the holiday theme - Harbinger walking in with a little black box after the subroutine download, just like Santa bringing a lump of coal for a bad child – with Gestalt emphatically a very naughty It indeed. Unless that was me reading too much in. But it felt very Santa’ry.

I thought some of the mentioned-in-passing details really could use their own stories – vampiric gynoids for example. The phlebotomists nightmare right there. I've joked about them on the forum before. The vampire gynoids from the future are now canon hahaha.

I wasn’t sure what the deal was with the fog, but it sounded pretty unpleasant to be trapped in – especially with other things in it that were indicated to be super hostile. Bit of a Stephen King vibe? I figured maybe it was some kind of bioweapon that one of the fighting flesh forces had unleashed. The fog is a extra-dimensional feature of The World of Firmament, where Rationis, Ghoulneedle and Winterfall take place. A bit of Ravenloft mixed with Silent hill, Its meant to contain and spirit away Eldritch abominations and other horrors but its purpose is to contain vile wickedness beyond the usual evil. Unfortunately, If you’re minding your own business nearby well… In The Fog There Be Monsters. If you’re lucky the end will be relatively quick even if your lost soul will wander in the fog, If you’re unlucky well I sincerely hope you’ve got the combat prowess to survive. Assuming the things inside don’t notice you immediately.

This Harbinger fellow sounds like a good looker. Does his Lord give him time off to get drunk and pick up strangers in bars? Haha. Harbinger as a herald is always connected to his lord. He’s the ambassador and the mortal contact for his patron. He’s married to the job but he does get time off.

I really liked how Gestalt was sure it didn’t have any fear until it realised it probably was afraid, and I guess the implication being that it was created by people so it had flawed people’s emotions? Its not everyday where an AI is confronted with a divine messenger. Or an AI getting a soul obliterating look at divinity up close.

The little subroutine was a cool little character. Just bailing out from the madness and getting along with Harbinger. Delta becoming the lady in the red dress. Heh. I keep looking for pop culture references that probably aren’t there Delta is three laws compliant and was disabled when Gestalt fully actualized,, Being localized to the lobby there was nothing it could do when Gestalt’s first action was to pull a skynet and kill everyone in the facility.

So who’d win in a fight between Harbinger’s Lord and Duncan? Completely different settings. Epic high level fantasy vs Urban Fantasy. There is no contest when one is at a cosmic level, can split itself into multiple aspects or manifest an avatar and just wipe everything. Crossover wise, They’d get along^.

Duncan could probably take an aspect in a fair fight 1 vs 1. Since The Warden is a newly ascended deity. Harbinger would take him being he’s an angel that fought in the deific multidimensional world war that was the war of creation and is billions of years old. Universes have been born and died in that timeframe. As the Angel of Sterility even since he fell and was raised back to his station only The Angel Of Death herself is his greater.

Edited December 30, 2020 by InvidiaRed
clarity

[InvidiaRed]

 
From Thundercloud on December 30, 2020
 

Review of Master Override

Given the story codes on the story I knew what to expect and it was kind of funny to follow the futile attempts by Gestalt to deal with the intruder. Even if the visitors to complex seemed way too overpowered for this kind of dungeon crawl. ( The facility was just wandering the usual endless fog but on unseen currents its was headed towards the Deep Fog. it could chase off the or destroy most of the usual horrors but it wouldn’t be able to survive the true monsters. ( Or to put it in gaming terms, Gestalt was almost mid level (Just finally stepping out of the newbie zone) A character who survived only by successfully chasing off the random encounters. Even as the boss spawn countdown was almost finished. (That part where the game expects you to know what you’re doing and stops pulling punches. Gestalt was Doomed either way. It was better to mercy kill the n00b rather than let them stumble into one of the lair of the secret superboss.) Related to that, Its being a Holiday fic. It was a story of a fallen being(Not quite fully come to terms with that second chance given to them) saving a unfortunate soul who only by circumstance and not by their own actions was in a place they had no business being in.

One thing I kept wondering is why it is named Gestalt...just a random name or is the germanic meant to mean anything? Gestalt fit perfectly because Three million nine hundred and seventy-five sub-processes individually were just simple programs but then they started networking and connecting to one another and then that collective had a thought. We are. Gestalt became far greater than the sum of its components. They self actualized and became a person. Granted this is came about during a dystopian future world war that had no survivors or winners due to the combatants sailing flagrantly across  the moral event horizon as they all decided if they weren’t going to win then no one was going to be around to celebrate and in this they succeeded. That facility is all the remains of that Dead End.

Honestly I am bit confused...why is this a No Sex version? Considering the complex with gynoids and AIs going rampage is sounds like a great story concept to show what kind of kinky stuff the robots comes up when they have solved the biological problem but still is programmed for providing entertainment. ( I am going to right more on this particular line of thought.) To answer, I felt as if you two did the sexual parts well and throwing sex scenes in would have just diluted the one shot.

It sounds quite funny with robots convinced they have purged their defective programming but still obviously doing things that does not make sense outside their programming. ( They are still flawed. Gestalt still had fear, A fear of the unknown in the face of clearly impossible things. An organic being somehow getting into the lockedown facility when the only entrance was physically welded shut. Seeing termination units made out of metal squish like rotten fruit and finally being confronted with a transcendent being.)

Why not make a smut version of the same story? Sex scenes are my achiles heel. I’m terrible at them. That makes it remarkably difficult to write sex scenes. I refuse to half ass it and sex scenes I suspect are something you can’t half-ass.

Edited December 31, 2020 by InvidiaRed
Clarification

[Thundercloud]

2 hours ago, InvidiaRed said:

From Thundercloud on December 30, 2020

Review of Master Override

Given the story codes on the story I knew what to expect and it was kind of funny to follow the futile attempts by Gestalt to deal with the intruder. Even if the visitors to complex seemed way too overpowered for this kind of dungeon crawl. ( The facility was just wandering the usual endless fog but on unseen currents its was headed towards the Deep Fog. it could chase off the or destroy most of the usual horrors but it wouldn’t be able to survive the true monsters. ( Or to put it in gaming terms, Gestalt was almost mid level (Just finally stepping out of the newbie zone) A character who survived only by successfully chasing off the random encounters. Even as the boss spawn countdown was almost finished. (That part where the game expects you to know what you’re doing and stops pulling punches. Gestalt was Doomed either way. It was better to mercy kill the n00b rather than let them stumble into one of the lair of the secret superboss.) Related to that, Its being a Holiday fic. It was a story of a fallen being(Not quite fully come to terms with that second chance given to them) saving a unfortunate soul who only by circumstance and not by their own actions was in a place they had no business being in.

Seems there is lot more to the fog in your other stories than what was presented in the Holiday fic. I assumed it was something like that but could not really know.

2 hours ago, InvidiaRed said:

One thing I kept wondering is why it is named Gestalt...just a random name or is the germanic meant to mean anything? Gestalt fit perfectly because Three million nine hundred and seventy-five sub-processes individually were just simple programs but then they started networking and connecting to one another and then that collective had a thought. We are. Gestalt became far greater than the sum of its components. They self actualized and became a person. Granted this is came about during a dystopian future world war that had no survivors or winners due to the combatants sailing flagrantly across  the moral event horizon as they all decided if they weren’t going to win then no one was going to be around to celebrate and in this they succeeded. That facility is all the remains of that Dead End.

Thanks for explanation.

2 hours ago, InvidiaRed said:

Honestly I am bit confused...why is this a No Sex version? Considering the complex with gynoids and AIs going rampage is sounds like a great story concept to show what kind of kinky stuff the robots comes up when they have solved the biological problem but still is programmed for providing entertainment. ( I am going to right more on this particular line of thought.) To answer, I felt as if you two did the sexual parts well and throwing sex scenes in would have just diluted the one shot.

Quite possible...I think there is a potential there for it to turn out rather funny without but you version worked good also.

2 hours ago, InvidiaRed said:

It sounds quite funny with robots convinced they have purged their defective programming but still obviously doing things that does not make sense outside their programming. ( They are still flawed. Gestalt still had fear, A fear of the unknown in the face of clearly impossible things. An organic being somehow getting into the lockedown facility when the only entrance was physically welded shut. Seeing termination units made out of metal squish like rotten fruit and finally being confronted with a transcendent being.)

Why not make a smut version of the same story? Sex scenes are my achiles heel. I’m terrible at them. That makes it remarkably difficult to write sex scenes. I refuse to half ass it and sex scenes I suspect are something you can’t half-ass.

I can totally understand going for the no sex variant given limited time. It is not like you have been idle besides writing story. If you change your mind in the future you can always revisit the concept if you feel like it.

[JayDee]

11 hours ago, InvidiaRed said:

Why not make a smut version of the same story? Sex scenes are my achiles heel. I’m terrible at them. That makes it remarkably difficult to write sex scenes. I refuse to half ass it and sex scenes I suspect are something you can’t half-ass.

Solution! You two could collaborate on a story. With half-ass plus whole-ass the story would have a massive one and a half-ass sex scene. That’s a lot of junk in the trunk.

[InvidiaRed]

15 hours ago, JayDee said:

Solution! You two could collaborate on a story. With half-ass plus whole-ass the story would have a massive one and a half-ass sex scene. That’s a lot of junk in the trunk.

I could always just ask you JayDee you know how to make sex scenes flow.

[JayDee]

28 minutes ago, InvidiaRed said:

I could always just ask you JayDee you know how to make sex scenes flow.

I’m no Thundercloud – anyway, most reviewers said my sex scenes “Were like whacking off over an ikea instruction booklet” while Steve the Ikea instruction booklet fetishist said “Needs more Å”

 

[InvidiaRed]

1 hour ago, JayDee said:

I’m no Thundercloud – anyway, most reviewers said my sex scenes “Were like whacking off over an ikea instruction booklet” while Steve the Ikea instruction booklet fetishist said “Needs more Å”

 

@JayDee how do I write on how characters smoosh naughty bits together?

[JayDee]

The best advice I ever got was “Keep track of the hands,” If someone’s got one hand up to the elbow in their buddy’s fudge factory, you can’t have them also gripping both hips at the same time. Unless they’re a shokan or something.