ForgetMeNaught's Replies - (This is the Truth)

[Guest]

Hello all. After a minor prod from a reviewer, I opted to start my own thread. I'll respond to interesting reviews for all of the stories I've posted. But as a matter of immediacy, I'll start with the recent reviews from my most recent work. First, though, a short biography.

Stories I've written, in present order:

My North Star, Gravity Falls

Fairies in the Garden, Gravity Falls

Secrets and Pines, Gravity Falls

Sea of Time, Gravity Falls

Boy is that show fertile ground for creative minds. I have works being developed in other fandoms, though. All in due time. Now, as for a couple reviews I'd like to site... but first, if you wish to avoid any spoilers, maybe this isn't the thread for you.

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Edward_or_Ford 2015-03-25 id # 3000070360 Okay, that turned a couple of directions I did NOT expect! Not complaining, though: awesome story. Really engaging and we'll paced.

However, you are an evil bastard, leaving us with that cliffhanger. :-) I may have to do that the next time I write!

This one is an example of a review that makes me smile and laugh twice. I enjoy having a story with flow and potency that appeals. Thanks for showing you enjoyed the work I put into it, Edward_or_Ford.

More importantly, I love being an evil bastard. I assert that being called an evil bastard at the end of stressful turn is a huge compliment.

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GrayNeko 2015-03-25 id # 3000070364

I was so glad to see this when I hopped on my computer this morning. Loving the escalation so far and I'm looking forward to seeing how or if Pacifica is stopped( my money is that it might involve a grappling hook). How long did it take for you to find a bathing suit that you felt fit Pacifica? I remember taking a bit of time to find and describe a bathing suit I picked out for Charmcaster. Are you considering setting up a reply thread?

 

And here we have the review that made me decide to post a reply thread. I hoped that the escalation would prove effective. In fact, the entire last portion of the story was included because I feared the intensity wouldn't carry without it as I entered into part 2. I had the thought of ending the chapter about seven pages early. Or three thousand words, rather. I'm glad I didn't, though. Even if part 1 is long as hell, it's worth it.

I did spend a great deal of time figuring out Pacifica's bathing suit, as well as choosing a selection of high-priced props to remind us of where she comes from. The swim suit I imagined to be custom after I found a bunch of ideas I liked, but no combination that encapsulated what I ultimately gave her.

Ultimately, though, I have only one real comment: no, no grappling hook. Not yet.

[GrayNeko]

Darn, but that just means we get to be surprised by the grappling hook when we least suspect it. You were definitely right to push the story a little further, it is the perfect cliffhanger.

The scene where Pacifica is laying out her clothes was really great beyond showcasing the differences in their lifestyles. I feel it helped grow both characters, giving Mabel a chance to show some depth that belies her constant boisterous confidence and Pacifica, of course, to be a better person.

Also I forgot to mention in my review but I love the idea of Preston having access to Bill, seems like something we might really see in the show, why else would the Northwests have a tapestry depicting a demon hanging in their mansion?

[Edward_or_Ford]

You're welcome, ForgetMeNaught.

The use of the "flashforward" section at the beginning of Sea of Time certainly gave a hint that this chapter would be more than a touch darker than the previous two. I don't know if you were trying to make us think that it was Mabel who was coercing Dipper into using the eraser gun, but that's who I was immediately dreading.

Quick question: did you intend this to be a trilogy after "My North Star"? It seemed to be a complete story. I ask this because I completed "Fistbump" entirely as a one-off, self-contained story, but (in the past few days) realized that a sequel or two is definitely possible. Did the same thing happen to you?

Also, can you at least tell us when part 2 is coming? And is it completed? I don't know how these people can write the start of a story and release it, if they don't know the end of the story itself. I constantly was going back and changing little things in my earlier sections as I continued to write. Whereas I can certainly see the appeal of completing an entire long story, splitting it up into chapters, then releasing the chapters one-by-one (the "evil bastard technique", I shall call it). Wish I had done that with Fistbump, and I will definitely be following that on any future sequels.

Thanks again for your stories.

Edward_or_Ford

[Guest]

Darn, but that just means we get to be surprised by the grappling hook when we least suspect it. You were definitely right to push the story a little further, it is the perfect cliffhanger.

The scene where Pacifica is laying out her clothes was really great beyond showcasing the differences in their lifestyles. I feel it helped grow both characters, giving Mabel a chance to show some depth that belies her constant boisterous confidence and Pacifica, of course, to be a better person.

Also I forgot to mention in my review but I love the idea of Preston having access to Bill, seems like something we might really see in the show, why else would the Northwests have a tapestry depicting a demon hanging in their mansion?

I imagined Bill's role in this scenario from the get go, though the tapestry, admittedly, fit less into the overall idea of Preston knowing about the underbelly of the town than him simply having the resources to find whatever information he wanted, if he was willing to pay enough.

You're welcome, ForgetMeNaught.

The use of the "flashforward" section at the beginning of Sea of Time certainly gave a hint that this chapter would be more than a touch darker than the previous two. I don't know if you were trying to make us think that it was Mabel who was coercing Dipper into using the eraser gun, but that's who I was immediately dreading.

Quick question: did you intend this to be a trilogy after "My North Star"? It seemed to be a complete story. I ask this because I completed "Fistbump" entirely as a one-off, self-contained story, but (in the past few days) realized that a sequel or two is definitely possible. Did the same thing happen to you?

Also, can you at least tell us when part 2 is coming? And is it completed? I don't know how these people can write the start of a story and release it, if they don't know the end of the story itself. I constantly was going back and changing little things in my earlier sections as I continued to write. Whereas I can certainly see the appeal of completing an entire long story, splitting it up into chapters, then releasing the chapters one-by-one (the "evil bastard technique", I shall call it). Wish I had done that with Fistbump, and I will definitely be following that on any future sequels.

Thanks again for your stories.

Edward_or_Ford

Such good looking questions.

I didn't actually intend to write a second or third story following publishing My North Star, especially since the response was, at first, very lukewarm. I got a strong number of hits almost immediately, but that's record of visits, not finished readings. But after a couple reviews, which I'll post here with a thank you as opposed to a response, I changed my mind and set to work on Secrets and Pines. Shortly after, I felt like I had no choice but to push for the trilogy, but decided that it needed a lot more power to be worth it.

Part II is still a work in progress, I admit. It's not always easy making available the time to write huge chunks of story, so sometimes I only manage to get a couple paragraphs done every two days. SoT was started only a few days after SaP was, but it took about half a month to finish it. I do, however, know exactly what I'm doing with it. It should be a most excellent Evil Bastard play.

Incidentally, foreshadowing is one of the most fun to use toys in the Evil Bastard playbook. I endorse its heavy use whenever you're about to plunge head first into dark fiction.

[Guest]

I would like to continue my thanks posts. Here's a couple from Belfry, who actually got me to thinking about something...

Belfry 2015-02-26 id # 3000070249 Nice to see Pacifica find some happiness in her life/ Great start to what I hope is a great story!!

Right there at the end, see? It got me thinking that I could actually write the sequel that MNS received in SaP. So this character Belfry here? Secretly to thank for the existence of the trilogy. You can thank 'em if you like. Yeah.

GrayNeko 2015-03-13 id # 3000070321 Are you secretly Alex Hirsch? Kidding aside, I say that because you have pretty much perfectly captured Mabel's character, from dialogue to thought process, even her reaction to the discovery of Dipper and Pacifica was believable in regards to the nature of erotic fan fiction. I'm usually mixed on coming of age teen dramas but this one I've fallen in love with so please continue the story, and if I may also ask of you, do your worst to us readers. Make us weep, break our hearts before ripping them from our chests, whatever you must do, just keep the beautiful emotions coming.

I neglected to post this one with GrayNeko's other review. In case you're wondering why I decided to make SoT more pain oriented than the others... nah, that's still my fault. But this is review was the first one I received that made me feel like I was on cue with my writing here.

I actually had a stint on FF.net under the same pen name, but caved in about eight chapters into my work. Very dispiriting to put all your heart into a story just to get no respect. And no regard, neither.

Thanks to all my reviewers and up-voters. You folks keep me going.

[desktop_pilot]

ForgetMeNaught I hope you see this, I would like to extend a huge thank you for you work on your Gravity Falls trilogy. I found them by accident while google related search hopping one night and I came across SoT first and decided to read a little and see if I wanted to get invested in the series. It was 4am when I finished with them all and I had class at 9. Great enthralling series, I would just like to say that you are a great writer and I am very excited about the second part you have coming, hopefully it is still coming. Your ability to create and describe the scene in such detail is fantastic. The scene where you described Preston opening the watch to call Bill was so good, I could picture every detail as though it was right in front of me. That ability, in my opinion, is what separates good writers and great writers and you are most definitely a great writer. I look forward to your work whatever it is, hopefully some more Gravity Falls.:-)

[Guest]

ForgetMeNaught I hope you see this, I would like to extend a huge thank you for you work on your Gravity Falls trilogy. I found them by accident while google related search hopping one night and I came across SoT first and decided to read a little and see if I wanted to get invested in the series. It was 4am when I finished with them all and I had class at 9. Great enthralling series, I would just like to say that you are a great writer and I am very excited about the second part you have coming, hopefully it is still coming. Your ability to create and describe the scene in such detail is fantastic. The scene where you described Preston opening the watch to call Bill was so good, I could picture every detail as though it was right in front of me. That ability, in my opinion, is what separates good writers and great writers and you are most definitely a great writer. I look forward to your work whatever it is, hopefully some more Gravity Falls.:-)

Thanks for the reads and the awesome words, Pilot. Always good to see the work is still piquing interests.

[Guest]

Fairy-Slayer 2015-05-07 id # 3000070485 It's a lovely little story. I love the rich language used to describe the oppressive summer air, and the oppressive "friends" Pacifica has. It all led very nicely into the biggest oppressive force of her nasty parents. No wonder she's been walking away and trying new things, even if she's tired of being recognized as someone to either fear or be used, or both.

Very nice work on the lead up to finding Dipper in the field, and her inner dialogue was sweet as she worked up the nerve to see who this stranger could be, mostly because of whom she hoped it would be. The conversation was great, and I like how Dipper was so chivalrous with his socks, and then the sleeping bag. Heh, maybe he originally thought she'd just wrap herself up in it while sitting, but what she did was definitely a welcome surprise. Clearly she wanted this, and both she and the readers weren't disappointed with the terrifically sweet lovemaking scenes. And then it all ended on a sweet thought.

From Pacifica's thought during intercourse it seemed like she really thought she could get pregnant, so was she lying to Dipper about being on the pill just to ease his mind? Also, I got the feeling you were planning to do more with the butler, but perhaps it was a moment to explain why so many got fired in the first place.

Anyway, I really enjoyed it and am looking forward to reading your other Gravity Falls stories. Thanks.

Another kick-ass review!

I took special care to make sure the pain Pacifica was believable, so I'm glad that carried.

Fairy-Slayer, incidentally, wrote an inspiring Dipifica piece himself. Read it and 5-star it, it's worth it.

Edited June 16, 2015 by ForgetMeNaught

[FairySlayer]

Another kick-ass review!

I was happy to review it, and as soon as I finish your last two stories I'll have some say about those as well. Thanks for the plug, too.

[Guest]

Spoilers below. Avoid if you care to.

Fairy-Slayer 2015-05-17 id # 3000070521 All right! That was a great second part to the lovely story. Nice build up with Dipper's secrets and Mabel's initial negative reactions. I felt the two were very much in-character as the tension built up. Bringing back the very sexy exchanges at the motel in his dreams worked very nicely, and the descriptions were vivid and quite arousing; meanwhile the conversation and story advancements was as interesting.

I'm glad that Dipper's punishment actually turned out so well, and I loved Pacifica's little handyman joke. It was very sweet when they went for that walk, and Dipper's misunderstanding about Aspen was too cute and also extremely sweet. Of course, the detailed, lush sex scene there was quite hot as well, made even better by Mabel's voyeurism and passionate finger play. The fact that she realized she was turned on by her own brother was both funny and sexy, plus there was a hint of a crush on Pacifica (or maybe I'm just reading way too much into it. )

The sweetness of Dipper's earnest offer to change his life for her was quite wonderful too. Just too... oh wait, that's the next installment.

Fairy-Slayer 2015-05-17 id # 3000070522 What a shift into the darker aspects of Gravity Falls, though I do appreciate how the magical elements were brought into this, especially in such a powerful and somewhat tragic way.

I do like in media res when the story can pick up from that point, but I'm not big on TV shows that do the dramatic opening followed by "Two Days Earlier," especially when the story continues on far beyond that scene. But maybe I'm a strange duck because I fervently avoid the "scenes from next week's episode" and all of the commercials for them. In this case I think the chronological build-up would have worked more than fine, plus I'd have enjoyed it a bit more if I didn't know what was coming. (..though the twist there was excellent, I have to admit.) Of course, take this with a grain or two of salt, and I definitely did enjoy the story quite a lot.

Dipper awkward conversation followed by what the girls heard upstairs was terrific and funny. Lots of fun. Then his moment with Stan as they prepared for Pacifica's stay was quite poignant. Then the hot scene in the break room proved his point in a hot, steamy way that only young love can do. Very descriptive and erotic young love.

Pacifica figuring out what Mabel saw was great, making things a bit more uncomfortable and adding a lot of great possibilities to the mix. And as in the second part, Mabel's masturbation scene was fantastic, even better with Pacifica as the accidental voyeur. The shock of her realizing that Mabel was doing herself to thoughts of her own brother and Pacifica was excellent. Mabel's follow-up questions about sex were sweet and very natural. I also liked the jealousy and demoralizing when Pacifica was choosing from among all the beautifully described swimwear, especially when it turned into sweet bonding.

The scene at the pool was getting nice and hot then POW! turned utterly heartbreaking. Dipper's actions afterwards were awesome, described so vividly and gut wrenching, that his feelings came through strongly. It was awesome, even its sadness and terribleness. Preston played the perfectly evil part while confronting Dipper, putting him down so much and figuratively trying to rip his guts out while explaining what he was doing with Pacifica.(I also liked the callback Herbert and his tenuous position, explained all the way back in the first part, and Preston's curt dismissal of him. The guy added a nice tinge of sympathy, though too bad he had to keep it muted throughout. Well, except for answering the door for Dipper.) Then dismissing Dipper like a piece of garbage was the final insult. Or should have been. After that, he turned fully evil and all went dark, and that stayed very much in-character IMO.

Terrific work writing for Bill and his various illusions and tortures. Like I said earlier, the twist about the memory eraser was awesome, and I was especially moved by Mabel's response (a little at first, but very much so after it was revealed that he'd almost killed himself!)

Too bad Pacifica didn't know triangle-head's reputation, and he did a fantastic job of stringing her along and getting her into such a horrific and utterly defenseless position to do his dirty job. Then the ending was just heartbreaking... assuming she didn't miss. (Okay, unjustifiably optimistic thinking there. )

Looking back, I have to wonder if Bill did the opposite of what he did with Dipper: make her think that she was holding a real gun and about to kill herself to be with him in death. IIRC she didn't know about the memory eraser, and in all honesty it's not like a powerful phantom that seems to be looking out for her couldn't have explained the idea and convinced her it was for her own good. I suppose either way works just fine if it achieves Preston's goal.

So in the end ("tltr") it's an awesome story. There were very few typos and great descriptive, absorbing detail done in just the right amount of words. Of course it was quite powerful and moving in the end. Excellent work. Thanks.

Back to back reviews from Fairy-Slayer. Good on you!

Glad you found the stories so enjoyable. Thank you for your readership and support.

[Guest]

Hey everyone! I updated Sea of Time! Took me long enough, am I right? Go, read, enjoy!

[GrayNeko]

Done and done and even reviewed! The only thing I left out is that my inner Christopher Walken kept telling me one thing: Needs more grappling hook!

[Guest]

Done and done and even reviewed! The only thing I left out is that my inner Christopher Walken kept telling me one thing: Needs more grappling hook!

More grappling hook would have been helpful. But as it stands, I couldn't give Mabel more space, much less room for Will Ferrel to facilitate, know what I mean? Now, as for that review...

GrayNeko 2015-06-17 id # 3000070646 Ahh you bastard, you had me running through so many scenarios as to how Dipper was going to save the day. Kudos on how you pulled it off by the way. Can I just say that you make angst so very enjoyable. And I loved Pacifica's 'will she, won't she?' moment at the end, by that point you had me on her side so badly I really wanted her to go through with it, which is say that doesn't mean it won't happen since you've left a little room for conclusion. Also at this point I expect Fairy-Slayer to pretty much express everything I'm too absent minded or inarticulate to cover, I've never had someone post reviews after I've done so that make me go 'Man, why didn't I write that?'. Regardless, you've written a fantastic story that has kept me entertained every step of the way.

I'm glad you enjoyed the reversal, it was buckets of fun building the entire story to make that moment happen. And, of course, the last little twist with Pacifica was fun too. My editor was reasonably sure she would be very mad with me when she started reading that sequence, but felt I saved the day at the last second with her decision.

As for our dear friend Fairy-Slayer, yeah, we can always count on him for volumes to relate the thoughts and feels we may forget to voice when we drop a review. We'll see what he says too, so I can blame you for not saying it, and praise him always.

[GrayNeko]

I kind of wonder, Dipper's wish was to keep Bill from messing with him and his family ever again but at the moment Pacifica isn't yet family. If she were pregnant though that would offer her the protection of Dipper's wish as Bill couldn't harm her without also harming the baby. That thought is the main reason I'm still holding out hope.

[Guest]

I kind of wonder, Dipper's wish was to keep Bill from messing with him and his family ever again but at the moment Pacifica isn't yet family. If she were pregnant though that would offer her the protection of Dipper's wish as Bill couldn't harm her without also harming the baby. That thought is the main reason I'm still holding out hope.

That's an interesting nuance, isn't it? Wink wink, nudge nudge.

At any rate, I would leave that up to however a chaotic outsider's rules of the universe work. If rhetoric outweighs logic (probable in Bill's case) then even friends might warrant protection, since friends are the family we choose and family are the strangers we live with.

Beyond that, what's to stop some other foul little monster from spoiling the good times? Gideon seems the type to want revenge until he dies.

The possible twists and turns...

Edited June 18, 2015 by ForgetMeNaught

[Guest]

Belfry 2015-06-18 id # 3000070652 An excellent story! Dipper showing his true love for Pacifica, facing death, fighting for her life, knowing that his life was not worth living without her. And Pacifica, so much in love, realizing that her father wants her out of his life.I hope he gets everything he deserves

Edward_or_Ford 2015-06-18 id # 3000070653 Oh, hells yeah! Great story, and very well told. A captivating plot, genuine emotional investment, dialog that's faithful to the characters, and (best of all) amazing imagery. You paint scenes extremely well, sir! So happy to see you back.

Glad to be back. Thanks for the thumbs up, guys. Glad you enjoyed my wordsmithing.

[Guest]

Nick 2015-06-27 id # 3000070679 Love reading this series, I almost broke my back sitting up so fast when I read the final paragraph. Cant wait for the next installment!

Thanks for the review, Nick! I'm glad you found my writing so enjoyable and the final paragraph intense enough to hurt yourself.

Stay tuned for the epilogue, my friend.

Edited August 19, 2015 by ForgetMeNaught

[Guest]

Fairy-Slayer 2015-07-06 id # 3000070695 Okay, I won't put in any spoilers this time, but I just read the second part and I think it was terrific. Stupid demon; good action; Dipper's plan was fantastic, even if there were a few hiccups along the way. (Actually, that only makes things better, as was kind-of said.) And then afterwards, nice and sweet. Now I look forward to seeing how things finally work out. Thanks.

Fairy-Slayer strikes again! Truth be told, I was worried you didn't approve of chapter 2 for some errant reason, since you hadn't reviewed in the time it was first page in the Cartoons archive, but there you go.

You could always feel free to voice your specific likes and dislikes here; this is a safe place with a spoiler "warning" at the top. Besides, GrayNeko is counting on you to put to words all his innermost thoughts. Even the scary ones?

... Yes.

Edited July 7, 2015 by ForgetMeNaught

[Guest]

Not beating a dead thread in the least!

New story added to the Cartoon archive. I wrote it! If you don't see it the New Stories list, just go to Star vs. the Forces of Evil.

[Guest]

First review for my recent story!

GrayNeko 2015-08-18 id # 3000070809 Dude, damn, I didn't know what to expect when I saw this and I still find myself rather in awe of what I just read. I am not usually one for "bad end" stories but this was one hell of a piece. I was wondering if there had been an error when you put the story up, what with the double tags, but now I see that for the brilliant warning that it is (at least I think that was intentional, if not then it's a pretty good coincidence). You truly capitalize on how bad things could have gotten without going overboard or having to resort to deaths to make this piece dark and you still manage to retain traces of humor that help make the characters feel spot on. As always keep up the great work and I hope to see more Star work from you in the future.

The double tags were an error, and thankfully I corrected that. Thanks for catching that.

Besides that, I'm glad you enjoyed the story's progression even though it's not your cup of tea. I was shooting for a sort of erotic horror, and figured the best way to go about that was to only slightly dehumanize the characters, but replace it with something entirely alien in its approach to life. I do feel like I stumbled a bit in the end, however.

Thanks for reading, GrayNeko! I hope to have more Star work in the future!

Edited August 19, 2015 by ForgetMeNaught

[Guest]

RandomReviewer 2015-08-19 id # 3000070810

Well Star you've destroyed the earth. Can't say I'm surprised. Excellent writing Forgetmenaught, I'm always excited when you submit a new story.

She does rather seem the type, doesn't she? XD

Thanks for the review, Anon, glad you like my material. I hope to continue to produce stories you enjoy.

Edited August 21, 2015 by ForgetMeNaught

[Guest]

A third review. Not too shabby for a two-day period.

xXDasXGoochXx 2015-08-20 id # 3000070814

Faptastical.

Simple, but it makes me glad to have this review just the same. I've had comments thus far about the darkness of the story, but not so much the eroticism, so it's a boon to have a thumbs up for that aspect of the story.

Thanks for reading, Gooch.

Edited August 21, 2015 by ForgetMeNaught

[Guest]

Boom, number 4!

BlueArrow 2015-08-21 id # 3000070816

Upon your advice I watched the Mewberty episode, great episode can't believe I missed it. On to the story I felt as is I was reading one of those old timey sci-fi fics where an alien comes to Earth and impregnates people left and right, and I loved it for that. Sure the ending had some unfortunate implications for the planet but it only added to the charm for me. Looking forward to any further additions to the Star section from you.

Glad you liked the episode. I'm happy to steer more support to the show and its creators.

And that's definitely the story I was shooting for. I'm psyched so many people dig it.

Edited August 21, 2015 by ForgetMeNaught

[Guest]

BlueArrow 2015-08-24 id # 3000070827

As often as I read fanfics it's rare that I find one that grabs my attention and refuses to let go. You sir have written my latest attention thief. To finely weave together emotion, drama, and sex is nothing short of masterful. The wait for the continuation is going to be hell though.

Alright, a review for Sea of Time.

Thanks, friend. I worked hard to make Sea of Time the best it could; masterful is a huge compliment.

I'll try to get that epilogue cranked out soon enough, everybody.

Edited August 26, 2015 by ForgetMeNaught

[Guest]

GeorgeGlass 2015-09-05 id # 3000070854

Wow. An intense piece of erotic horror--like Daron Nefcy meets Clive Barker. Good use of Janna. The attraction to both Marco and magic that she displays in "Mewberty" really, really backfires on her here. And while I usually can't buy into it when rape victims in stories start to enjoy their rape, the use of Mewnan (?) biology here made it believable. Likewise, I'm not usually into grim endings, but this one really works.

In short, nicely done.

This is pretty cool. I've never had a review from GeorgeGlass before. I do believe that in itself is a big compliment.

I don't usually like the way rape is used in most erotic fiction pieces myself, for the very reason you specified; it's really easy to just say everyone enjoyed it for too many reasons to count. I steered towards that, in a way, but I felt I made good work of it using alien plot biology as well as real world examples of the body being turned against itself by parasites and infections, which were the two "secret" themes of the story. I wasn't joking when my Story Promotion for Butterflies compared this to a zombie apocalypse. That no one stopped and said "Mmm, no, you suck and here's why" makes me feel I succeeded.

... I'm done with that segue. Thanks, Mr. Glass. I'm glad you enjoyed it even though bad endings aren't your favorite. Seems most people are here for the lusts. XD

Edited September 6, 2015 by ForgetMeNaught