George Glass' fanfic review response thread

[GeorgeGlass]

Here, I’ll respond to reviews of short or obscure fanfics that may not warrant having their own response thread.

Edited October 18, 2017 by GeorgeGlass

[GeorgeGlass]

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Re: “The Couch Gag”

From Fairy-Slayer on October 18, 2017

This was a terrific bit of fun, especially for such a great tease.

Glad you didn't mind the lack of, um, payoff.

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Leave it to Lola to come up with such an evil plan…

Let's face it, if there's one Loud who would be voted Most Likely to Become a Supervillain, it would be...well, Lisa, but Lola would come in...okay, third after Luan, but still...

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but for a moment there it almost felt as if the kids were starting to enjoy it too. Maybe they're just good actors when it comes to getting out of trouble; or perhaps as they started to get into their routine they were a bit scared by how well each's counterpart seemed to be responding.

I'd say it was a mix: Some were freaked out by having done it, and some were freaked out by having liked it.

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Either way, Lucy's final analysis was perfect,

I see Lucy as the most introverted and, therefore, the most self-aware of the Loud kids.

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and I love how they all immediately sought out ways to cleanse themselves… completely separate from everyone else.

I loved writing that bit. My stories are probably predictable in some ways, but I like to at least keep readers guessing about whether there's going to be incestuous snuggling or projectile barfing at the end.

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Luna's, Luan's, and Lisa's side-comments all fit in very nicely too. Thanks for the family fun.

Thanks for the beta and the comments!

Edited May 3, 2022 by GeorgeGlass

[GeorgeGlass]

Re: “Backstage at the Loud House”

From Flagg1991 on November 13, 2017

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I love truth in fiction. "Sour cream in a snowstorm!" Hahahaha. "We don't need liberals pissing and moaning." Hahahahaha. "Fan fiction writers escaping the drudgery of daily life," Hahahahahaha. But, really, you hit the nail on the head with a lot of the stuff in this story. You remain one of my favorite Loud House writers.

Thanks, Flagg! I’ve been tied up with RL writing this month and haven’t been able to spend much time on fanfic, so your review really brightened my day.

Whom do I remind you of? Maybe I’d like their stuff. Or maybe I’d hate it and realize that I”m no good at this. Or maybe I’d discover that I have an unauthorized clone. Or that I AM the unauthorized clone. Or- Okay, the point is, Thank you!

Edited May 3, 2022 by GeorgeGlass

[GeorgeGlass]

Re: “The Couch Gag”
 

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From DebbieCync on December 09, 2017

I wouldn't have tagged it angst, that was hilarious!

 

Thanks! It was definitely meant to be funny; I only gave it the “Angst” tag because of the way the characters react in the end.

[GeorgeGlass]

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Re: “Backstage at the Loud House”

From DebbieCync on May 12, 2018

Nice work.

 

Thank you!

[GeorgeGlass]

Re: “The Couch Gag”

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From ConanEdogawa on September 24, 2018

Should put the no sex tag

Fondling counts as sex. I decree it.

Edited September 25, 2018 by GeorgeGlass

[GeorgeGlass]

From Lucius-Walker on August 26, 2019

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Fuck, that was both funny and sexy. 

Thanks!

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Will there be more chapters, or was this a oneshot?

This was a oneshot. But I've got another Loud House story ("Enter the Sandboy") in progress right now, if you want to check it out. 

[GeorgeGlass]

Re: “Lincoln’s Lesson”

From Fairy-Slayer on November 17, 2019

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This was a great alternate ending to the episode, even if not full-on erotic action. (You spoil us with the Loudcest!) The descriptions of the girls in just their underwear made for some gorgeous mental images, 

Yes, I had some fun imagining what they'd all have on under their clothes. 

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and I love the idea that they all came around to Lincoln's way of thinking after actually trying it; 

Seemed like a trait that might run in the family.

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Lola's final word on the subject was perfect. 

I was really uncertain about how to resolve the situation until I thought of that line and then thought of having Lola say it.

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Special kudos for both Lucy's sans-outerwear ensemble and her comment about what she wanted to see Lincoln wearing.

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Though you describe his distraction so well that one has to wonder how he makes it through the school day. 

I guess his standards of comfort are different for textbooks than for comics.

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Anyway, I also really liked the titles and authors' names throughout. 

Half the reason I wrote the story was those bits, which just kept coming to me.

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While at one point I'd have expected Rita to make the kids retrieve the groceries in their underwear as punishment, perhaps it was better not to (further?) attract the attention of Child Welfare… but Lori and Leni really would have made Mr. Grouse's day.

"Dang it, where are my glasses?"

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It certainly made mine. Thanks for another fun tale.

Thanks for the beta-help and the review!

[GeorgeGlass]

Re: “Lincoln’s Lesson”

From DebbieCync on November 22, 2019

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LOL! That was not where I thought that was going. Excellent work!

Thanks! I’m guessing that if the story had gone the way you expected, it would have been much longer.

[GeorgeGlass]

Re: “Lincoln’s Lesson”

From VaultHunter18 on December 21, 2019

Hey, VaultHunter18. I’ve got bullets with your name on them; wait, that came out wrong.

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Not what i thoughtit was going to happen, but still a good funny story.

You’re not the first person to say that.  And thank you.

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Can't wait for the next story that's coming, Any chance of Sam and Luna with Lincoln in a story? Or Lori and Carol with Lincoln? Just a coupleof ideas. 

As a matter of fact, I’m working on a sequel to “Enter the Sandboy” that will include a sex scene involving Lincoln, Lori, and Carol.

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Thank you and keep up the great work, Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to you, and thanks for the comment!

Edited December 22, 2019 by GeorgeGlass

[GeorgeGlass]

Re: "Record”

From The all seeing eye on February 15, 2021

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Lincoln needs to kick her ass and clame her pussy like a man

I can’t make Lincoln a big ol’ stud in EVERY story.

 

[GeorgeGlass]

From Pixel-King on February 20, 2021

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Nice change of pace to have Lincoln be so submissive.

That was my thinking, too. I took inspiration from DrYNot’s mega-popular story “Make It Wit Chu.”

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Lynn Jr. is fairly in character.

Thanks.

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Not sure what Lynn is getting out of it besides records and asserting dominance. She's clearly aroused at the end. I'd hope she forces Lincoln to muff dive. Or pegs him with a double dildo to eek one more out of her boy slut. Smash that prostate!

Mostly she loves taunting Lincoln and showing him how completely she controls him by using both carrot and stick.

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The pussy flaunting and incest taunting got me good. Hot damn!

Those were my favorite parts to write.

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(Unrelated, but I would love to see your take on Ralph and Vanellope.)

I haven’t been tempted to write a whole story about them, but they make a cameo in chapter 2 of “The Cartooniverse Mother-Daughter Crossover Sextacular.”

[Pixel-King]

13 minutes ago, GeorgeGlass said:

I took inspiration from DrYNot’s mega-popular story “Make It Wit Chu.”

I thought the tone felt familiar! What I wouldn't give to see that story finished.

14 minutes ago, GeorgeGlass said:

I haven’t been tempted to write a whole story about them, but they make a cameo in chapter 2 of “The Cartooniverse Mother-Daughter Crossover Sextacular.”

Thanks for the info! That one has been open on my "to read" tabs. (Chrome on my phone is constantly winking at me; I have too many naughty things open.)

[GeorgeGlass]

Re: “Record”

From LotusFury on February 23, 2021

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This was extremely satisfying, hope it's not a one shot

I’m afraid it is. But have you read “Twist My Arm”? If you liked this, you might like that.

[GeorgeGlass]

Re: “Rashomonster”

From GrayNeko on March 25, 2021

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I've been looking forward to reading this since I saw you mention it. The scene with Karmi was a nice surprise as well as the potential inclusion of a Wasabeast, 

It took me a minute to get that. My initial thought was that it was a monster that devours Swedish crispbread.

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but I have suspicions that may be part of the lies being told. Everyone feels wonderfully incharacter

Thank you! 

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and I am amused that Karmi's smut is only marginally better than her regular fanfiction. 

Much like my own. That’s why I gave up writing regular fanfiction.

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Can't wait to read more!

More is on the way!

And on the topic of "more," might we be graced with another chapter of "Ears to You, Luz Noceda" any time soon?

Thanks for the review!

[GrayNeko]

I’m working on it, got about 2,000 words down so far. Hopefully I’ll have it ready in early April.

[GeorgeGlass]

Re: “Rashomonster”

From Maxsteele1986 on April 05, 2021

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So if everyone lied to  Professor Granville, I wonder what really happened in the lab? Whatever happened, I'm sure it's as spicy as Karmi's fantasy and masturbation session going on next door.

Oh, that’s entirely possible.  You’ll have to check out the next chapter and see!

[GeorgeGlass]

From GrayNeko on April 12, 2021

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Yeah boy, second chapter! Finally we get the deets on what went down in the lab! I'm surprised there wasn't more physical evidence of Wasabeast, ie a massive pool of cum after he and Go Go got done, though perhaps Karmi took a sample and that's what she wants to talk to Captain Cutie about.

Well, Wasabi did go clean up afterwards. And he did a Wasabi-level cleaning.

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Absolutely loved how you used Honey Lemon for the humor of this chapter while perfectly maintaining her character.

Thanks! She’s one of my favorite characters because she has so many “modes” to work with: cute, funny, klutzy, brilliant, and sexy.

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I tell you though, what I wouldn't give for a chapter of those two mastubating side by side.

I’m afraid that’s going to happen “off screen.” Your imagination will have to fill in the rest.

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I'm really looking forward to see where the story goes from here.

Just one chapter to go, but I hope it will live up to your expectations.

[GeorgeGlass]

Re: “Rashomonster”

From Maxsteele1986 on April 14, 2021

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Go Hiro, rock Karmi's world. Great job so far by the way.

Thanks!

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Looking back at chapter 1, is Fred's mother really going to bed, or more likely going to have sex with Mr. Heathcliff?

Who knows what the rich get up to?

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I'm guessing chapter 3 is going to be everyone involved in the story getting their grove on. Looking forward to reading it.

No spoilers. And I hope you’ll enjoy.

Edited May 2, 2021 by GeorgeGlass

[GeorgeGlass]

Re: “Rashomonster”

From GrayNeko on May 01, 2021

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That was an amazing finale. I love Karmi being such a little slut, it really doesn't feel like an exageration of how hard she crushed on Hiro in the show.

That was pretty much what inspired me to write this story. Her insane crush on the leader of Big Hero 6 seemed to justify a lot of really out-there behavior on her part.

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Also, I actually really empathized with Karmi about not being able to turn off her brain and just be in the moment and felt glad for her when she did.

Cool. I like that.

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Also, big dick surprise anal? Yes please.

I decided that I haven’t been writing nearly enough surprise-buttsex scenes in my stories, and there we were.

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The only thing missing was some good ol' cumflation.

Well, you got some of that in “Biological Imperative,” at least. There will be some in “My Wish Is Your Command,” too.

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Bit of a shame that this is the final chapter.

This story is the length it is because it follows the model of others that have ripped off the plot of Rashōmon. For example, in the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "A Matter of Perspective," we first learn that a scientist was murdered. Then we see the story of what happened from three different characters’ perspectives, and then, at the end, we see the truth. That’s the model I went with.

BTW, a few hours after I posted the chapter, I realize that I had forgotten to include my authors’ notes. I’ve added them at the end of the final chapter.

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The plugging her holes bit got me thinking about Karmi having a Hiro surprise nine months later.

Or a Cutie-Beast surprise. For all we know, Hiro’s reproductive DNA was temporarily altered along with the rest of him.

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Great story GG, loved every bit of it.

Thank you, and thanks for the review!

[GrayNeko]

I can honestly say I did not see the inspiration for Rashomonster being such a piece of high art, then again I’m woefully uneducated about classic cinema. It never really occurs to me to model stories on things like that and if my works happen to share similarities to things like that it is usually pure coincidence. Still it was a fun story and I admire your ability to do concise work. I have a tendency to snowball a story as I go. 

[GeorgeGlass]

7 hours ago, GrayNeko said:

I can honestly say I did not see the inspiration for Rashomonster being such a piece of high art, then again I’m woefully uneducated about classic cinema. It never really occurs to me to model stories on things like that and if my works happen to share similarities to things like that it is usually pure coincidence.

Honestly, I never would have thought of it if I hadn’t seen episodes of Star Trek: TNG and Fame that ripped off the plot of Rashomon. I thought it would be fun to do the same thing in a fic, especially a fic in a Japanese-inspired fandom like Big Hero 6.

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Still it was a fun story and I admire your ability to do concise work. I have a tendency to snowball a story as I go. 

I helped that I had the story outlined in my head from the start, and that the story was meant to follow the basic three-act structure of a TV show. 

[GeorgeGlass]

Re: “Record”

From DoctorYnot on May 28, 2021

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Boy if this isn't something that feels like it was made just for me!

Well, you DID inspire it...

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Love the little flourishes here and there that do such a great job of getting Lynn's personality in this fic, the feeling of her, across. The descriptions too, 'grinned sharkishly', that is vivid. She's really got an aura to her, and energy and a presence, that's very very rare to see in a female character, even in erotic fanfiction. Sometimes stories you see stories where the girls are ostensibly 'in charge' during an encounter or commanding or whatever, but very rarely does it come across with this kind of verisimilitude. It's so intriguing and incredibly captivating to read. I think a lot of times authors, when they try to do something like this, simply try and write a man and switch their gender, but that's not how it comes across here at all. Lynn is still very much herself, she feels true to who she is in the show and nothing comes off as contrived, she's just...predatory. Deliciously so. I think the trick is how you identify already existing aspects of her personality to highlight and exalt to produce who she is in this fic rather than crafting a new side to her out of whole cloth to justify what she's doing, and I think that in particular goes a long way to create that sense of authenticy to the whole thing. It's difficult to explain. The best I can compare it to is when you have a nightmare, and everything is outwardly correct, but there's just that faint creeping feeling of dread. That is a very, very difficult hole for any author to thread, it takes real grace, but it's bang on here.

Thank you! IMO, Lynn's defining personality traits are her nonstop intensity and her competitiveness -- even with herself. She has to push everything to the limit. I felt that those characteristics made her ideal for a story like this.

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Her dialogue, too. It's excellent, does a tremendous job of dictating the pace and the mood whilst always sounding very, very clearly like Lynn's 'voice'. I truly love that.

Accurate voice is very important to me -- especially when it comes to the Loud sisters, because it's important to make them sound different from one another. 

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Back to the details, like I said, it's the little things. Like when she talks directly to his penis instead of bothering to look at his face, that's such a great, dehumanizing touch delivered right as the prose flows along. It's flourishes like that that really spice the story being told and elevate it. The way she taunts him, not exactly malicious, just...Lynn. Trash talk. Her banter, patter, whatever you want to call it; like I said, the essence of her really shines through. Like I said, she's recognizable as herself, and with a premise like this, that makes the whole thing so much more exciting and erotic.

Part of how this story went from being an idea in my head to being word-flesh is that I could really hear Lynn's voice in my head, taunting Lincoln in that way.

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>C’mon, gimme that hot load. You know you need to.

It's such a small detail, but again, that's key. 'Need to' instead of 'want to' here feels like it totally changes the dynamic of the line from something we've heard a million times before, practically boilerplate dirty talk, into something that penetrates way deeper, capturing our attention. And you follow up on it so beautifully with Lincoln's internal monologue/prose afterwards. Just a great one-two, immediately gratifies the expectation the novelness of the line generates.

 

Yeah, "You know you want to" is pretty beaten to death, whereas "need to" sort of takes away even more of Lincoln's sense of control.

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I do want to say though that while Lynn is the more 'flashy' of the pair, you can't have a cake just made of frosting. 

I like that metaphor.

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In this case, it's Lincoln's anxiety and dread that really provides the true, understated foundation for the whole story. It can be easy to overlook what a great job you did with it because Lynn's stuff is so eye-catching, but Lincoln is really the main vein providing her the stuff she needs to play off of and you did just as good a job with him as you did with his sister, his reactions to her. The nervousness, how he's beaten down but not completely defeated, how he struggles against her in his own way (and that's absolutely key, too). I love how it comes through in the prose, lines like

>There was no right answer to this question, and Lincoln knew Lynn wasn’t really expecting an answer anyway, so he remained silent.

Have a spirit to them that I just find irresistible.

 

Just as every comedian needs a straight man, every horror story needs a victim. 

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Probably the piece de resistance of the whole fic is when Lincoln starts imagining it's other girls doing this to him as a way to cope. That's the sort of sequence I've seen attempted many times in stories, but rarely or never have I seen it executed this well. Back to that later.

I loved, loved, LOVED when she starts to tease him about being into his sister, that was an electrifying line that brought it all back into focus both for him and the reader just who it is exactly is doing this to him after the earlier Paige fantasy, and the sense of wrongess it evokes is exquisite. His panic when Lynn brings up Lori and Leni too, my goodness, so good. That the prospect isn't glossed over but actually has a physical effect, 'scaring him soft', gives it the appropriate weight and I'm glad you did that. It got the punch it deserved and made the bit more memorable and occupy a bigger space in the reader's mind.

 

This is where I had to "craft a new side to her," as you said earlier, because one wouldn't necessarily expect Lynn to be a keen observer of things. But I needed her to be aware of Lincoln's adolescent weaknesses in order to make her as scary as she needs to be in this story.

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Adored the detail and depth of the blowjob, the repeated cumshots exhausting Lincoln, going from sucking on the head to paying attention to his balls to get more out of him.

I did a bit of outlining there to make sure that each blowjob was more intense than the previous one.

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One small complaint, which I do feel compelled to mention, is that I can't imagine Lynn calling Lincoln 'Linky'. I really have to imagine it'd be 'Stinkoln'.

Yeah, but Lynn was trying to turn him on, not off.

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>“There we go,” she said, the sound of Lynn’s voice interrupting his fantasy of Ronnie Anne. “Now, let’s get to work.”

Tremendous detail. I like that she gives him no quarter, whether she realizes it or not, and how you make sure to punish Lincoln, never letting him retreat fully into his fantasy, it keeps him present and engaged and it means the emotion you can get out of him is much more intense. I also love how you make sure to include that on some level he does like it, how he does appreciate looking at his sister's boobs, despite his guilt about it, and the whole innocent childishness of how the whole thing is delivered, 'the only girl who'd ever been willing to show Lincoln her boobs', really lays it in harder and adds another wonderful touch of dirty spice and great characterization for Lincoln. Shows a bit of appropriate immaturity for a kid his age in a moment of extreme stress and physical and mental confusion.

 

Part of what makes Lynn an effective antagonist in this story is that everything she accuses Lincoln of is actually true. She knows him as well as he knows himself, but she's willing to speak of the things that Lincoln doesn't want to admit to.

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The Lucy line about her reflection was a delightful little bit of characterization that serves to cleanse the palette a little even as the rest of it revs us up. 

Just had to throw a bit of Lucy-color in there. Even if black isn't actually a color.

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Man, the dirty talk and the whole sequence where Lynn is putting ideas into his head and tempting him was really something special. I really, really have to give it up. The way she whispered into his ear and the stuff she said was searing and you really feel immersed and sympathetic to this poor, young, confused, horny boy getting played with by his forceful big sister. Which is, of course, the perfect, classic Loud House smut so many of us adore.

When it comes to sex scenes, I often find that the dialogue is the most fun part to write. It certainly was for this story.

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The DiMartino fantasy was a great way to provide a spot in the blowjob to break it up a little and give the reader's mind time to recover (and I must mention, huge respect that you were able to get so damn much eroticism out of a series of blowjobs one after the other from one single character to another single character, that is masterful). 

Thanks! As you point out, Lincoln's fantasies were important to making each one different from the others. That, plus the gradual increase in intensity and Lynn showing Lincoln more of her body to get him turned on.

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Back to what I mentioned earlier, the fact Lynn's constant dirty talk has finally succeeded in breaking Lincoln down mentally and subconsciously corrupting his fantasies is perfection and my absolute favorite bit in the entire story. So, so hot. I love how he keeps trying, jumping from one foot to the next to try and force it, change of venues, but it just keeps happening! It really shows the psychological impact of what his sister has done to him, and that's such a turn-on. The whole transformation in his fantasy from him on top of DiMartino to Lynn on top of him, showing he's not even in charge or on top in his own head, and his desperation as he tries to think of someone, anyone else, while his body drowns in the pleasure his sister forces on him. The guilt, the shame, the self-denial of what he really wants, what he really is. I'm glad you seized on those details, it really spikes the whole narrative so powerfully. The whole sequence leading from this to that final, nonstop cumshot was sublime.

Lynn forcing her way into Lincoln's fantasies seemed like an idea you would come up with, so I went for it.

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Ultimately, reading this review back before I post, the whole thing is really fawning, but in the end, I truly did love it. The themes you employed in this story were so utterly to my tastes and you did such an incredible job delving into them and drawing out their full charm. Again, it was technically just a series of blowjobs, but you got so much out of it, to the point it felt like a complete sex scene with intercourse, and I really couldn't have enjoyed it more. It's so well put together, narratively speaking, so well composed so that everything hits as hard as it could, the eroticism, the guilt, the callousness and innocence and emotion. I had a HUGE blast reading this fic. I'm keeping my fingers crossed you do another story like this again at some point, not just because they're my favorite but because I think you really grasp the pressure points in this sort of narrative and execute on them fantastically. Could be anything, a stressed out Lori taking her stress out on her little brother, Luna coming back soused from a concert she snuck out to and forcing a round of 'fun' on him because he was cool enough not to rat on her when he caught her sneaking out, or even sweet Leni taking what she wants because she has an itch and brothers are 'supposed' to help their sisters...Hell, as you can see, this whole fic sent my mind going! Regardless, I really loved the time I got with it, and I'm thankful to you for sharing it. Great job, man. I loved this.

Thank you! And thanks so much for the detailed review. 

[GeorgeGlass]

Re: “Record”

From Dixie Freelove on October 15, 2021

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OMG! What is Lincoln complaining about? What boy wouldn't want a sister like that? What is wrong with him? LOL This was a really fun story! Loved it!

Thanks! Lincoln’s just taking his time realizing what he really wants.

[king]

This was a beyond epic story,I'm going to headcanon that Loona got pregnant with a half hell hound half Goat-cherub.

Edited February 2, 2022 by king