Ichasennin Posted September 12, 2016 Author Report Posted September 12, 2016 On 11/9/2016 at 9:36 AM, warellis said: Just to tell you, Shirou was 7 at the end of Fate/Zero, not 5. So Rin would be 13 and Sakura 12 at the end of Fate/Zero here. Also Nerve Circuits are dangerous. If you fuck up your circuits, you can damage them and that's often permenant damage. Really, with Shirou's Gamer abilities here, I could imagine him figuring out how to open his Circuits correctly here on his own. Also I’m really stoked at seeing when Saeko finally just grabs Shirou and fucks his brains out here! I forget, do you plan on having Kirei replaced by Caren here? Hmm. Ten years passed between F/Z and F/SN. Shirou at the time is in his second year of highschool which, if I’m not mistaken, happens around 15-16 years of age. You are correct in regards to Nerve Circuits. Making one is sacrificing an actual nerve, so eventually he’d become a cripple if he kept it up. However, with the Gamer Body his health is completely restored once he sleeps. In fact, thanks to [DIE HARD] even with 0 HP, if he makes it to the bed before his stamina runs out he’ll be right as rain. I don’t intend to replace Kirei, are you kidding. Shirou is going to NTR a few master and generally fuck with other people’s plans and women. Kirei is in for a party. Plus I still need a few villain. That doesn’t mean I can’t have Caren around as well, isn’t it? 18 hours ago, VotedforKodos said: On the note of the story, glad to see Shirou thinking about the consequences of showing off what his improved stats let him do, and actual internal conflict from Saeko, instead of just immediate and unstoppable shota lust. Though the developing Sense the Unnatural makes me curious, will Shirou wind up getting involved with the supernatural before the Grail War starts? Yep. SPOILER: Saeko is actually a pseudo demon-hunter. She exorcised the undead spirits that manifests in the forest around her house as a result of the leyline. Being out of Fuyuki proper, the Second Owner (Rin) isn’t aware of it. From there Saeko will introduce him to the Demon hunting association. warellis 1 Quote
warellis Posted September 12, 2016 Report Posted September 12, 2016 (edited) Cool. Actually in FSN, Shirou had just turned 18 not to long ago, within the year at least, with Rin turning 18 during the events of the game. Second-year in highschool in Japan means you're 17. That's why both are third years in FHA, which takes place half a year after FSN, since they're both 18 by then. 15-16 years old would mean both were going to be entering high school, or were first-year students in highschool. As for Nerve Circuits vs Magic Circuits, I was just figuring Shirou could use his Gamer abilities to figure out his normal Circuits faster and be able to use them more and more efficiently without having to go through the messy dangers of Nerve Circuits. Edited September 12, 2016 by warellis Quote
VotedforKodos Posted September 12, 2016 Report Posted September 12, 2016 I’m pretty sure Shirou and Rin are 17 and Sakura is 16, because the standing joke was that Illya was the only one who was actually 18. Although Shirou’s age is totally vague and up in the air, given the fire. I just imagine Kirei hurting himself laughing too hard when he finds out about Shirou NTR-ing Kayneth’s wife and Servant, remembering how Diarmuid unintentionally stole Sola-ui in the Fourth War. And meeting the Demon Hunting Association? So can we look forward to Shirou meeting those families that are involved with it? The Ryougis, Asagamis, and Fujous? And the Tohnos, given they’re hybrids and have the last Nanaya? warellis 1 Quote
warellis Posted September 12, 2016 Report Posted September 12, 2016 Well Shirou & Rin are both second-years students when FSN takes place so they're at least 17. Here Shirou is 10 which means Kiritsugu died here 3 years after he was rescued but dieing a little bit earlier doesn't really change anything in my mind so Sennin is okay. As for calling in charafters or ideas from Tsukihime or Kara no Kyoukai, that would be fun! Quote
Ichasennin Posted September 12, 2016 Author Report Posted September 12, 2016 5 minutes ago, warellis said: Cool. Actually in FSN, Shirou had just turned 18 not to long ago, within the year at least, with Rin turning 18 during the events of the game. Second-year in highschool in Japan means you're 17. That's why both are third years in FHA, which takes place half a year after FSN, since they're both 18 by then. 15-16 years old would mean both were going to be entering high school, or were first-year students in highschool. As for Nerve Circuits vs Magic Circuits, I was just figuring Shirou could use his Gamer abilities to figure out his normal Circuits faster and be able to use them more and more efficiently without having to go through the messy dangers of Nerve Circuits. I just checked Wikipedia. Have a look here. The second year in highschool is 16-17. Anyway, no one was sure what age Shirou was so I’m making it up. Anyway, even if Shirou figures out how to use his native Circuits, Nerve Circuits are still better. Remember, Shirou cannot cast a spell with an MP requirement higher than his active Circuit count. For instance, unless he deploys UBW, he could not trace more than 27 blades at the same time, because that his natural max output. However, he can artifically increase it with Nerve Circuits, which incidentally (at lv. 100) will grant 1 additional MP in exchange of 1 HP upon creation. 4 minutes ago, VotedforKodos said: I’m pretty sure Shirou and Rin are 17 and Sakura is 16, because the standing joke was that Illya was the only one who was actually 18. Although Shirou’s age is totally vague and up in the air, given the fire. I just imagine Kirei hurting himself laughing too hard when he finds out about Shirou NTR-ing Kayneth’s wife and Servant, remembering how Diarmuid unintentionally stole Sola-ui in the Fourth War. And meeting the Demon Hunting Association? So can we look forward to Shirou meeting those families that are involved with it? The Ryougis, Asagamis, and Fujous? And the Tohnos, given they’re hybrids and have the last Nanaya? Well, I suppose they could have their own cameo, but those are all side-quests that I’d rather use to focus on the secondary female characters from the crossovers and the monster girls (as opponents and for the bad ends). Most of what Shirou is going to do will happens in the figurative cracks of the Moonlit worlds, all those supernatural events that are too small and quickly solved and thus don’t require the attention of the big shots like the Mage Association and the Church. The demon hunter association is a conglomeration of small clans that sometimes will outsource their jobs to freelancers. warellis 1 Quote
warellis Posted September 13, 2016 Report Posted September 13, 2016 When is the next chapter coming you'd say? Quote
Ichasennin Posted September 14, 2016 Author Report Posted September 14, 2016 22 hours ago, warellis said: When is the next chapter coming you'd say? Sunday/Monday warellis 1 Quote
warellis Posted September 19, 2016 Report Posted September 19, 2016 (edited) How is the update coming along? Also, best loli (other than Shuten) is now in Grand Order!: Edited September 20, 2016 by warellis Quote
Ichasennin Posted September 23, 2016 Author Report Posted September 23, 2016 The new chapter is almost done. I took a commission and I had to put the rest in the backburner for a while. Now I’m back to Gamer Night and I should be done by Sunday (for real this time) Quote
Guest Wandering_Moth Posted September 24, 2016 Report Posted September 24, 2016 Hey Ichasennin, I’m just wondering if you decided to use the one of the pictures that was posted a while back for Morgana’s design because I think I found a suitable one myself. https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/2249640 https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/2310663 https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/2338054 Her aesthetic appearance would mesh well with the Nasuverse better than the previous examples I think, especially her complicated clothing. Might not suit Morgana herself, but then again Martha doesn’t look like she’s in suitable attire either. Quote
Ichasennin Posted September 24, 2016 Author Report Posted September 24, 2016 5 minutes ago, Wandering_Moth said: Hey Ichasennin, I’m just wondering if you decided to use the one of the pictures that was posted a while back for Morgana’s design because I think I found a suitable one myself. https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/2249640 https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/2310663 https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/2338054 Her aesthetic appearance would mesh well with the Nasuverse better than the previous examples I think, especially her complicated clothing. Might not suit Morgana herself, but then again Martha doesn’t look like she’s in suitable attire either. Hm, nice outfits. Although, it’s too early to discuss about that. I still hope that FGO will give us a canon appearance (please don’t be another saberface) 3 hours ago, warellis said: What was your commision? An original story. Can’t really talk about it Quote
Ichasennin Posted September 25, 2016 Author Report Posted September 25, 2016 I’m sorry, in the end I couldn’t finish the chapter, mostly because it keeps getting longer and I didn’t want to break it again. However, since I had promised, you can read what I already wrote here: https://titanpad.com/BST0FJiAys Opinions wanted. Quote
warellis Posted September 25, 2016 Report Posted September 25, 2016 (edited) Writing wise, I feel like in the beginning you have a bit too much repetition with “Shirou.” Maybe you should remove some of those and replace them with “he.” Also now it’s in Spanish. Literally some guy made it all Spanish. Edited September 25, 2016 by warellis Quote
Ichasennin Posted September 27, 2016 Author Report Posted September 27, 2016 Chapter’s up folk http://anime.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600055434&chapter=6 warellis 1 Quote
warellis Posted September 28, 2016 Report Posted September 28, 2016 Pretty nice! For some reason with the Titanpad, someone switched it all to Spanish. What was that about? Quote
Ichasennin Posted September 28, 2016 Author Report Posted September 28, 2016 That’s just you man. I checked it out now and it’s in English. Maybe you accidentally turned on a translation feature or something. That being said, folks, what is your opinion about the chapter? Quote
Ichasennin Posted September 28, 2016 Author Report Posted September 28, 2016 So, I was thinking… should I have Saeko help Shirou get more women so that she has more subs for herself? warellis 1 Quote
Guest Wandering_Moth Posted September 28, 2016 Report Posted September 28, 2016 3 hours ago, Ichasennin said: So, I was thinking… should I have Saeko help Shirou get more women so that she has more subs for herself? So Saeko will be a recurring character outside of her quest then? I never quite understood how you were going to handle guest characters, whether you’d bother including them in scenes once their quest is finished or not. Quote
Ichasennin Posted September 28, 2016 Author Report Posted September 28, 2016 21 minutes ago, Wandering_Moth said: So Saeko will be a recurring character outside of her quest then? I never quite understood how you were going to handle guest characters, whether you’d bother including them in scenes once their quest is finished or not. Their Quests may be concluded, but some of them will be supporting character where applicable. For instance, Saeko will play a part in Yourouchi’s and Morrigan’s Quest. Quote
VotedforKodos Posted September 29, 2016 Report Posted September 29, 2016 So, my opinion on the issue is to do it if you want, but be careful about it. You did a good job justifying Saeko’s lust and attachment to Shirou, and his submission to her, but just throwing more girls underneath her is a slippery slope that could just ruin them all. Having multiple women domming Shirou at the same time works, in that they are kind of fundamentally at the same level, but if it would be one domming two people, it could get problematic, depending on who it is. I feel like with characters that there is an established relationship like that (Illya and her maids, theoretically Masters and Servants, Gilgamesh and everyone) or where such a relationship could be easily and understandably established (like Morrigan submitting to Saeko to avoid being killed), it can work fine, but trying to force it would just feel off. Like, having Yoruichi subbing to Saeko just doesn’t strike me as something that really works. Also, the whole demon slaying issue just made me think of more outside characters that could have been used: the Shinmeiryuu users from Love Hina/Negima and Mana Tatsumiya, the Exorcists from Blue Exorcist, half the characters from Omamori Himari, and Yukikaze from Dog Days. Unrelated, but interesting note from the latest Prisma Illya: Spoiler Turns out Angelica isn’t just a doll, but she’s a doll of Julian’s older sister, and by the nature of how the dolls are made, they’re all mentally/emotionally broken. People can’t be completely replicated, so they all lose something in the process Not sure if you would have any intent to use this, but still an interesting plot point. Quote
warellis Posted September 29, 2016 Report Posted September 29, 2016 (edited) 4 hours ago, VotedforKodos said: So, my opinion on the issue is to do it if you want, but be careful about it. You did a good job justifying Saeko’s lust and attachment to Shirou, and his submission to her, but just throwing more girls underneath her is a slippery slope that could just ruin them all. Having multiple women domming Shirou at the same time works, in that they are kind of fundamentally at the same level, but if it would be one domming two people, it could get problematic, depending on who it is. I feel like with characters that there is an established relationship like that (Illya and her maids, theoretically Masters and Servants, Gilgamesh and everyone) or where such a relationship could be easily and understandably established (like Morrigan submitting to Saeko to avoid being killed), it can work fine, but trying to force it would just feel off. Like, having Yoruichi subbing to Saeko just doesn’t strike me as something that really works. Also, the whole demon slaying issue just made me think of more outside characters that could have been used: the Shinmeiryuu users from Love Hina/Negima and Mana Tatsumiya, the Exorcists from Blue Exorcist, half the characters from Omamori Himari, and Yukikaze from Dog Days. Unrelated, but interesting note from the latest Prisma Illya: Reveal hidden contents Turns out Angelica isn’t just a doll, but she’s a doll of Julian’s older sister, and by the nature of how the dolls are made, they’re all mentally/emotionally broken. People can’t be completely replicated, so they all lose something in the process Not sure if you would have any intent to use this, but still an interesting plot point. Man Prisma Illya is getting dark! Not that it wasn’t dark in 3rei mind you. You mentioned Omamori Himari, how much of that manga did you read? All of it? Actually, Kuesu could easily be slotted in as a magus from the Clock Tower IIRC. Well a demon hunter from a demon hunting clan (possibly connected to one of the 4 demon hunting clans in Tsukihime?) who became a magecraft user. Edited September 29, 2016 by warellis Quote
VotedforKodos Posted September 29, 2016 Report Posted September 29, 2016 Yeah, I read all of it. I appreciate it as one of the few harem series that actually has a harem ending. Although ending with a “let’s have sex with him while he’s in a post-final battle coma” orgy may have been pushing it. Quote
Ichasennin Posted September 29, 2016 Author Report Posted September 29, 2016 Wut? I gotta read this.ll Quote
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