Pippychick's Review Replies (TV)

[pippychick]

BronxWench

2016-01-07 id # 3000033279 Oh, dear gods, this was so worth the wait. It's atmospheric, and chilling, and completely fucking brilliant. The menace in the informational film seems completely tame compared to what you've conjured as the future of those children. I absolutely can't wait for part two, to see what's in store.

This line: "Rain made puddles on the streets that she didn't realise she was avoiding until a bus splashed her and she screamed because it was exactly like his touch." That's just incredible, and vivid, and I'm in awe of this perfect sentence.

And if I wake up in a cold sweat tonight, I'll know why...

Thank you so much, Bronx, I'm really glad you like it, and I'm pleased that I managed to get some creepiness across.

Lots more to come. The rest of it keeps playing over and over in my mind, and I have most of the dialogue. There's a few things I want to convey. I hope I have the skill to get them right.

JayDee 2016-01-08 id # 3000033280 Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you for writing this first part of the story. Thank you for taking a brief idea and expanding it to brilliance. It's already stunning, it'll end epic.

So, the sex, ok, I likes me some porn this is quite well known, but what you've got here is proper erotica, there's so much feeling and art to it. The way it builds up through for her, is the same for the reader, though hopefully readers won't remember it and orgasm in the street. That sort of thing invites tumblr outrage.

This line, "The gouges her fingernails had left in his face bled, falling onto her face like cool summer rain, onto her lips. His blood tasted like tepid sea water." this is so powerful, it's almost like I could taste it while reading it.

Thank you again. I hope this gets the readers and feedback it deserves. It is a work of art.

I'll wait for the 'to be continued' even if I needs must wait years.

Thank you, JayDee, for putting the idea out there for me to play with. To be honest, I did have the majority of this written for some time, but I was convinced the fall was too steep to draw the reader in properly, and that bothered me for ages, so I'm really happy that it doesn't seem to be the case. And, I'm overjoyed that you like it, since it was written for you. I did originally have some idea of going wild and matching your style (I'm a fanfic author, after all), but you are completely inimitable.

And part two is on the way. Hopefully it'll be a bit quicker since I've lots of things to pack into it, so I've no concerns about short word count this time.

[JayDee]

You really do nail atmosphere well - s'the same with that Harry Potter story I reviewed before, that had an amazing sense of desolation in the ruins.

[pippychick]

Thank you again!

That cold handed masturbation at the start was deeply erotic, I actually thought it was one of the sexiest brief solo scenes I've seen to picture from your words. I loved how you kept up the atmosphere throughout at a different pace to part 1 - where that was most of her life, with this only a shorter period. It really fits in with the request with that ending, I find myself wondering if it kind of goes male/female/male/female through the ages? I could see the pretty stark hard rape putting some readers off, but it makes more sense than some suddenly romantic coupling. Horror eroticism at its finest.

That almost echo quote at the end was a really cool idea as a callback, too.

Loved it!

Just an FYI - There's a couple of html tags showing in Firefox at least with the line - What <i>are</i> you? - not sure if that is from your document or part of the server change.

Thank you!

Being as this story was for you, I'm reallly glad you enjoyed it.

Ah, the rape scene. I deliberately made that very hard. Perhaps, thinking now, a little too hard. The truth be told, the first version I wrote had a lot more of the Ferryman in it, and I had a romantic kind of seduction set on a boat on the canal, that's really not a gondola, and a canal that's really a dark river. I had him drown her in the river at the end (because the river Styx grants immortality), but then I reasoned that it was a bit dreamy and altogether too... nice, for a JayDee dedicated story. So I went in the opposite direction on the rewrite. The only parts of that which remain here are the physical description (which is of Charon, the Ferryman), and the recurring motif of payment. I still have the original continuation. I may post that as an alternative chapter/ending if the mood takes me.

Thanks for telling me about the html. I had trouble posting earlier. It was so much easier when I used to post a lot. I've fallen out of the habit, I'm afraid.

[JayDee]

Never too hard for me, at least

I'll probably have to stop and think before I post my next story, it's been about three months the last one already.

I really hope this gets more readers, it's pure class!

[pippychick]

That could not have been a more perfect conclusion. The horror and madness of the first chapter set eh stage for a completely brilliant finish, from the opening frantic masturbation to the brutal rape, as counterpoint to the compressions of Kath's well meaning would-be rescuers. And to have one rescuer the boy she rescued was deft indeed.

I'll second JayDee's praise of the echoed ending. That is classic, and sheer class, right there. Erotic horror fiction at its finest, written by the hand of a master. I'm in love!

Thank you so much!

I'm really glad that the concurrent events of the rape and the rescue made sense. It melted my brain, but I was also writing fluffy Elrond stuff so I think that might have had something to do with it. The change in intent, tone and atmosphere, and the language use between the two was torture. Still, the muse is wide awake, so I'm happy.

As I said to JayDee, the romantic, dreamy version was first, and it took a while for me to pry its fingers off (even its dead fingers). I think the suicide fits, especially with it being a kind of automatic action rather than a considered one by Kathy. It's almost as if that was waiting for her too, all along.

[pippychick]

Creeeeeepy

Thank you very much! I think that's exactly the reaction I was aiming for. Well, that, and: OMG... no! No!!!

[pippychick]

lol... CL has been reading my Torchwood fanfiction. *hugs Jack*

You made me so sad before bed. I read this thinking wow, a threesome where all three are really jiving well together only to have my heart ripped out at the end. The sex was, as always with your writing, so hot but there was emotion behind it too that I got caught up in which made Andy's decision that much harder for me to accept. Then you make me think they're going to get it back in the epilogue only to smack that fragile hope down and make me sad all over again.

I no longer like you. (I may get over it but we'll see. It may take a lot of young Thranduil to change my mind.)

CL

Awww... I didn't mean to make you sad! *hugs* I had to put the characters back where I found them (it's one of the curses of writing fanfic)!

I am glad you enjoyed their threesome, though. Mmm... Jack/Ianto/Andy. Been years since I wrote them. They're a lot more contemporary, and it gives a writer much more to play with in the way of props. Oh, I miss them! Especially Jack, who is definitely the 51st century equivalent of my elves, what with his poly-amorous ideas and his complete lack of jealousy.

Andy made the only decision he could in the end, and so it becomes a little dream, a fulfilled item on Jack's List. Many of the items on that list involve risk in one form or another. This was a hefty one. But really Ianto will be okay – he has Jack, and Andy can't remember so he can't be hurt.


Diary of Thranduil (aged 30)

Dear Diary

Today me and Pengolodh and Ada and Naneth went on a long journey to look at the sea. It was very boring!

Pengolodh picked up some sea shells and seemed a little bit sad. Ada said to him something about Maglor. I do not know who that is, but Pengolodh was unhappy, so I told him to forget whoever it was and then we made sandcastles. I said that Ada and Naneth were the King and Queen, and I was the Prince. I told Pengolodh that he would have to pretend to be my horse.

The sea was cold and iron grey and it ruined my castle. I do not care to see it again for as long as I live, but Pengolodh says I will want to one day when I am “weary” enough go to Valinor. I told him that I do not want to go there either and that I will never be tired. On the way back, I fell asleep, and Pengolodh laughed at me and carried me back inside my house... but I was pretending all the time.

There you go! G rated too! From me! That doesn't happen very often...

Edited May 25, 2016 by dafdes

[CL Mustafic]

Though I appreciate the effort, I believe you know what type of young Thranduil I was referring to.

I'm still not over the heartbreak...

[BronxWench]

Oh, CL, beware the Torchwood fics... they're what got me hooked on Pip's writing.

[CL Mustafic]

Oh, CL, beware the Torchwood fics... they're what got me hooked on Pip's writing.

I'm scared to read more of them after she ripped my heart out... And she doesn't even care, just tries to justify how cold hearted she is by hiding behind the canon thingy whatever that is.

[BronxWench]

Um... Kamal, anyone?

You two are neck in neck for heartless, although Pip has elves and Jack. It's a slight edge over Bosnian assassins with amputated souls.

[CL Mustafic]

Touché *bows out gracefully*

[pippychick]

Believe you me, CL... I could not possibly ever outdo Russell T Davies, who invented these characters, then killed them all off at once when we'd all got to love them. Well, except Jack, who can't die.

*is still not over Children of Earth, has not watched it, and never will*

At least I didn't kill anyone *glares at Davies* Actually I didn't even kill poor old Maggy...

I'm scared to read more of them after she ripped my heart out... And she doesn't even care, just tries to justify how cold hearted she is by hiding behind the canon thingy whatever that is.

Oh, don't be afraid. The rest of them are Fun with Jack and Ianto! Promise.. *g* usually with avant-garde use of stationery equipment.

[pippychick]

This was so cute. I really love how they play off each other.

CL

Thank you!

They were so much fun to write. Jack is made up entirely of funny bones, and Ianto is almost as bad... *g*

Glad you enjoyed it.

[pippychick]

Now that was just mean. CL recommended this story to me, and I was all, "But I don't watch that show." Then she says that I should read it anyways, so I did. It makes me want to watch it now, but that was so mean. I literally had tears in my eyes. She also told me to express hatred at you for the ending. I don't hate you for it, but ouch man. I like your style of writing though, I think I might see what else you have to offer when I get some free time. I hope to see you around, and thank you for sharing your story.

Thank you so much!

I ought to feel guilty that this fic keeps making people cry, but I don't. It means you invested in all the fun and games that went on before I had to put the characters back. It means you enjoyed their messing about with each other, and I can't be sorry about that.

I hope the fun was worth the ending. I loved writing this threesome, and the flow between the three characters.

[pippychick]

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Reviews for The Price BY : pippychick

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From ANON - on January 18, 2017
 

I really enjoyed the long set up that occurs at the beginning, and not diving immediately into what exactly is haunting the main character Kathy. Her obsessive behavior with the hand washing and the cloak at the beginning shows how fragile her mind is, so that as things get more and more frantic and disorienting in the second part, it feels like a natural progression of what Kathy would feel in this situation. This is also a compliment to the writing, which makes us feel like Kathy as her actions become more reckless as she tries to escape the haunting of the water. I did feel that the masturbation scene seem out of place in the middle of the story, since it disruppted the flow of the horror atmosphere for me, but it does lead to some of the actions in the final scenes, so I can't complain too much. All in all, a really well written atmospheric horror story.

 

Hi ANON, and thank you so much

I’m very glad you enjoyed it – I had a lot of fun with word choices in this little story and building that atmosphere of mental instability. It’s wonderful to hear about it when it works! I appreciate what you said about the masturbation scene, and it is likely my fault for not being more explicit about those helpless urges and the sensations inside her. Perhaps if I had added just one more little bit of development there… *nods*

It always means a lot to me getting comments on the bits of horror I write, so thank you again for taking the time to leave a few words! I’m glad you could lose yourself in this little world – all writers love to hear that.

[Guest ANON]

Thank you for delivering such a good story! XD

[pippychick]

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Reviews for The Price BY : pippychick

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From ANON - Khajiitophile. on January 21, 2017
 

 

Theres a real rhythm to your writing that I found  quite pleasant. Nothing felt awkward or jarring, the story just flowed. As for the story itself,  Canals, cane drains and dams have always been terrifying to me, stories of kappa, bullrout, Eena-Pena and a few extremely unpleasant incidents of my own experience served to instill in me a nigh-phobic aversion to them. So Your descriptions of a lover who is pretty well the physical embodiment of these places really does chill me to the core. " with a Kiss like drowning, blood like tepid sea water and  the way her fingers sank into his flesh you were able to truly unnerve me. Like Kathy, I will be sleeping with the light on tonight. 

 

Ps. tried to jerk off to the rapes because Kathy actually really appealed to me. I liked her style, partying  being all grungy and sleeping with a ghost, but goddamit, I just kept remembering the way waterlogged flesh feels, how it just sloughs off. I got unnerved. Gave up. Good work.

 

Thank you, Khajiitophile!

I’m so glad you enjoyed it, even if you did have to sleep with the light on, lol. I really wanted it to seem as if by taking home the cloak, she’d taken home the ghost, and it became resident. Even though the “ghost” really turns out to be herself in a way.

Kathy is really an original character I suppose, so I am glad you liked her too. Despite her mental health issues, she seemed (at least to me) a very independent character. I kind of like the thought that the weakness in her began in the moment she picked that thing up as a child. So that the rest of the story is then an inevitable conclusion.

Ah, I did write it so readers could get off on those earlier scenes (and probably set them off thinking in the process), and in my head it fits into an either/or compartment. I’m glad you could enjoy the story even though you had to give up on that aspect *g*

Again, thank you!

[pippychick]

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Reviews for The Price BY : pippychick

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From ANON - Garethan on January 24, 2017
 

Well written story and once you start it flows past you without sensing how much time pass. I struggled with a few sentences but english isn't my native.

I really liked how the whole setup, from start to end, reminded me of the ghost stories which I enjoyed during school. The cloak as a manifestation of a supernatural being in combination with the water theme worked great for me. Katherine's slow succumb is well described as well as how easily she recogniced the cloak as something unnatural as a child but were unable to resist it as a adult.

 

Thank you, Garethan!

I’m glad you enjoyed it, despite the slight language barrier. Honestly, I admire bilingual people. I am just a lazy native Englander *g*

And I am happy the feeling of succumbing worked too. Of course as an adult, with an adult’s twisted desires, there’s some argument to be made for her bringing most of the really nasty stuff on herself (ie. rape fantasy). The dream was of her choosing, after all, even if not consciously.

 

[pippychick]

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Reviews for We're All Going to Die BY : pippychick

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  From BronxWench on August 29, 2017
   

  Oh, I cannot wait to see where this goes!

  You've captured Clegane so perfectly: his bitterness, his rage, his sheer bloodyminded persistence. Under it all is some small spark of humanity, and you let us see it when he thinks about Tormund. He cannot bear the thought of a rival, one he can't cow or frighten, and yet those are the very hings he looks for in Brienne.

  Such a lovely, lovely beginning, and I'm all shivery with anticipation. 

     

 

Thank you, Bronx!

Got to say I'm enjoying hanging around inside Clegane's head. There’s a kind of detachment about him that feels nice, but I hope I can get him involved. Since this is from his point of view, I think he’s seeing more oafishness in Tormund than is actually there. He’s trying to ignore him at present (rather like a gnat at a campfire), because he knows really that Tormund is equal to himself and Brienne. Meaning, he can’t be ‘dealt with’ easily.

Brienne is interesting too. This morning I’ve written most of the next little bit. I think our two men are going to have to get her a bit drunk between them to start things off. For all of her strength, she’s got some awful insecurities buried in there. And also, she’s got ‘notions’ about how things should be done that isn’t conducive to my fic. So I’ll need to make her forget those, at least for a short while.

[pippychick]

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From ANON - on August 29, 2017
 

I love how you kept her strong and Stern but also alluring to a man like him. Really excited can't wait for more please brainstorm and write quickly thank you.

RedKay77

Thank you RedKay77!

This does seem to be taking off. Tbh, just glad to be writing again. Anything. But this? More than happy to write Brienne getting some love, especially from these two. First sex scene will be around chapter 3 or 4. Got several ideas for it, and it will be fresh and interesting. For one thing, I suspect Brienne is a virgin. Also, that just like while fighting, she’s not going to be a delicate little flower in bed, which should please everyone involved. Also, that naked!Brienne might turn out to have a few bruises courtesy of Clegane, which he’s going to have to make up for…. mmm...

[pippychick]

And chapter two has landed, being as I’m now partway through chapter four…

Chapter Two

[pippychick]

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Reviews for We're All Going to Die BY : pippychick

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  From BronxWench on August 30, 2017
   

  And the second chapter is even better than the first...

  There was one line: "When he held her, he didn't feel like a monster. He felt like a man." Right there, you absoluely define Clegane. It's the most apt summation of him I've ever read. And I truly found his dawning realization Tormund's not such a complete twat both believable and natural. Clegane respects strength, and Tormund has that in ample measure.

  If there was one writer who could do justice to GoT, it's you, m'dear. Thank you for another chapter of this captivating story. ::hugs::

Thank you so much, Bronx! You are like a fan to the flame of my creative mind

And yes, I kind of get the feeling Clegane is sick to the back teeth of having women be intimidated by him sexually (even those who pretend otherwise – he’s not an idiot). It also leads me to think he’s going to be awfully considerate of Brienne’s virginity, and I suspect there may be a short non-adult Tyrion cameo at some point in the future, where the two giants go seek out his advice, with lots of threats to ensure his silence, of course. That should be fun. I want to write Tyrion the way Clegane wants to do Brienne, lol.

As for Tormund, they’re going to develop some kind of friendship/partnership, but the banter between them will develop and continue. There will be slash content, but whether it’ll be true slash content remains to be seen. As ever, I can only put the characters into adult situations and see how they respond to it.

Wow, what a compliment! Thank you! To be honest, I never really envisioned myself writing for a fandom where most of the characters are knocking each other off. I tend towards those odd pairings, and well look I kind of found one. I’m not going to claim to have done oodles of research, or to be taking this entirely seriously. I’m seeing it as a useful stepping stone to getting my groove on again, so I’d appreciate having any canon mistakes pointed out to me for correction. But I really am enjoying hanging around inside Clegane’s head a bit. He’s fascinating. And I swear he has no fear, whatsoever.

[pippychick]

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Reviews for We're All Going to Die BY : pippychick

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  From BronxWench on September 01, 2017
   

  Well, things have certainly taken a turn for the interesting. 

  I'll be the first to say I might not have chosen to solve things in quite the same manner as Brienne, but the more you get inside Clegane's head, the more I understand the why of it. And really, it is true, isn't it? Tormund and Clegane see different sides of Brienne, prize different facets of her. I wonder how she sees herself right now...

  Bu this line: “No one ever listens to us wildlings. Hell has always been frozen over.” Have I mentioned how much I adore you? That's sheer brilliance, that is! 

  I'll be in the corner, purring and waiting for more.

Thank you, Bronx!

Oh, Brienne… I’ve got to say, without going the whole hog and writing from her point of view (which I might do, next chapter, having read this), she hasn’t really chosen anything. That reaction to Clegane was all about not allowing him to frighten her. No matter what it entailed doing, even if it meant touching him like that. He’d kind of backed her into a corner with his confession. Her thoughts on it ran along a well travelled path, just like a flow chart.

1. How can I anticipate danger?
2. How can I protect myself from it?
3. Where is the power in this situation, and how do I get it?
4. Do not show fear under any circumstances.

In my original draft of the chapter, he said: “Are you frightened now?” but I changed it, because I felt it was a little bit too perfect to draw Brienne out, and I didn’t want Clegane cottoning on, lol.

Aside from that, if our two boys think she’s on the same wavelength as they are, they’re sadly mistaken. She’s never thought of them in that way, and the only thing that’s turned her head is this new experience of pleasure, which has probably come as a bit of a surprise to her. And I’m talking about the kissing as well as the rest. If not more, actually… she’s really very happy with the kissing. That’s where she is, really. If Tormund does love her, he should start doing some of it.

But, it occurred to me that she might also be quite easily seduced, especially if she doesn’t see it coming. She’s a traditionalist at heart, and a romantic, but I think she long ago realised she’s not “waiting” for anything, because nothing is going to come her way. Now it kind of has, against all the odds. And it’s not traditional, and it’s not exactly quite what she might dream of (Clegane has her number in that respect). I’m just not sure if she sees it for the rabbithole it is. Explore too far, and she will fall. Luckily for her, something is going to stop the boys from going all the way for a while. Something they end up seeing Tyrion about, which will be terribly amusing for him. And a great excuse for me to have Tyrion wandering around in my mental room of muses… yes!

Sorry for the long reply, but the review deserved it. You always leave such wonderful responses.

Now I’m back at work for a few days, so updates will slow, I’m afraid.

 

[pippychick]

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Reviews for We're All Going to Die BY : pippychick

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  From discord_the_lunatic on September 18, 2017
   

  Very good so far. Let 'the tasting' commence!

Thank you so much! *bounces about happily*

I’m glad you’re enjoying it. And that next chapter is already well on the way, as I’m on nearly 2000 words so far. Probably by the end of the day if you’re in the US.